Tears On My Pillow

I am chalking it up to hormones. That is the only rational explanation for my sudden and inexplicable sappiness lately. I don't consider myself an overly emotional person, but television shows have just been getting to me and I have been sobbing like a little girl at the drop off of a hat.

But, you know, not really. I think the things that I have been crying at have been genuinely moving and it's not like I have a heart of stone. So maybe it's not all me. Maybe I have just been watching some hard-core moving stuff lately. So I am going to stand by my crying.

Let's see:

First there was the latest episode of Battlestar Galactica last Friday. When Roslin told Adama that she loved him....waterworks, y'all. And he had perhaps the best response to someone saying, "I love you" ever....."About time."

Then, there was Gilmore Girls. I have been slowly making my way through all of Gilmore Girls, and when Luke and Lorelai FINALLY hooked up at the end of Season 4, I was psyched. AND THEN. Middle of Season 5 hit and shit went down. So when Lorelai tearfully called Luke and asked him to come over because he was her best friend and she needed her best friend...here come the tears again.

"Hey, Luke, it's me. I know I'm not supposed to be calling, but I am not doing really great right now, and… I was just wondering if, do you remember in 'The Way We Were', how Katie and Hubbell broke up...and she called him and asked him if he would come over and sit with her because he was her best friend and she needed her best friend, and he did."

Finally, we get to Doctor Who. I suppose rewatching Doomsday was not the best idea when I knew I was so emotionally fragile, but it still happened. Sigh.

Rose: I.... I love you.
The Doctor: Quite right too. And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it: Rose Tyler...
Margaret: *cries*


Here's hoping for a less nerve-racking television experience next week!!

Somewhere Over the Raindbow

So I’ve had some time to kill on my hands, and I’ve been watching some of my extensive favorite TV shows on DVD. In anticipation for the upcoming X-Files movie – which I am quite psyched about – I dusted off the only season of series I have, Season 6. It happens to have two of my all-time favorite episodes (including one written and directed by David Duchovony!), “The Unnatural” and “Triangle.” Now, if you have not seen either one, go to Netflix and get Discs 5 and 1 (respectively). The pleasure in “The Unnatural” is seeing some familiar faces before they really hit (Jesse Martin in his pre-L&O days) and a recurring star from Lost (but I won’t say who). The entire episode centers around the confluences of two things: baseball and aliens. What’s not to love?

While I could go on and on about this episode, I was struck by a couple things while watching the earlier episode “Triangle.” This one was written and director why series creator Chris Carter, and like Joss Whedon, Carter often directed the season openers, finales and “fun” episodes in-between. You might miss it on first viewing, but the entire episode is an homage to Alfred Hitchcock! Each scene – from c-break to c-break – is one long shot. Before the West Wing walk-and-talk became popular, Carter was doing these long single-shot takes (according to tv.com there are actually 34 cuts cleverly hidden). But what an incredible feat! The main thing that struck me was this: why are there so many homages to The Wizard of Oz?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m as much of a fan as everyone else. I grew up watching the movie on TV every year or so. I never did read Baum’s original book, nor did I ever see the musical adaptation. A few years ago I read Wicked, and liked it, and although I still haven’t seen the musical I’ve heard some of the tunes, and I respect the opinion of those who have seen it and loved it. But what’s so special about The Wizard of Oz that everyone is re-telling the story (Tin Man) and doing an homage to it ( I may be alone on this but I think Michael Chabon’s new book Gentleman of the Road is also an homage with one of the main characters constantly described as a scarecrow).

“Triangle” quite consciously references Oz, from its opening scene of Mulder in the water near a shipwrecked boat, appropriately named Lady Garland, to its closing scenes where Skinner mentions “his little dog Toto” and Scully where she tells Mulder to close his eyes and think “there’s no place like home.” Let’s not forget how the Lone Gunmen reminds one of the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion; nor the fact that everyone on the boat is someone Mulder knows from “back home.”

X-Files is not the only show that did this homage. Another of my favorite shows, and actually one of my favorite episodes of that show, is also an homage to Oz. Check out what Zach Braff does in the 100^th episode of Scrubs, titled “My Way Home.” There is no disguising the Oz references here, from the opening scene using the music of Toto, JD’s voice-over connecting Carla, Turk and Elliot to the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man and the Scarecrow. And to top it off, Ted’s band singing “Over the Rainbow” – Iz-style!

There are many more subtle references, and I’m sure there are other TV shows that have done homages to The Wizard of Oz. Obviously I love these shows and these episodes but it makes me wonder, what is it about The Wizard of Oz that makes so many fine storytellers want to tell and re-tell this story. Is it indeed that America has no defining mythology and there is something in here that has tapped into the collective consciousness and which makes people come back to it time and again, plumbing its very depths for new fun and new meaning. Or am I just making too much out of something.

Secret Boyfriend of the Week: so meaty!

Dimples and a spiffy wardrobe? Check.
Acerbic wit and a keen sense of the ridiculous? Check.
No sense of shame to speak of?

Double Check.

What more could a woman (or man) need in a Secret Boyfriend of the Week than The Soup host Joel McHale? Absolutely nothing.

It should come as no surprise that my blogging style is inspired, in part, by The Soup. This show takes everything that is wrong with television today and turns it into 30 minutes of pure comedic gold. For those of you not familiar (what is wrong with you?), The Soup is a clip show on E! that mocks reality TV, talk shows, movies ... basically everything and anything in entertainment worthy of derision. It makes watching all those terrible, terrible shows okay, because you're just doing it as social commentary. McHale makes it all the better with his self-deprecating humor and - dare I say it? - humility.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the Lord's work," said McHale in a recent A.V. Club interview, possibly with a straight face. Amen to that, buddy.


For those looking for your first helping of Soup, or if you just want to get in line for seconds, check out these videos on the E! website. Or, you know, one of the eighteen billion weekly re-runs. Actually, check the E! channel right now - it may well be on as we speak. Er, as I blog. Whatever.

Castle: hopefully more than another crime serial

I love Nathan Fillion. You know it, I know it, everyone in the free world freakin knows it. I started watching Desperate Housewives for him, for goodness sake. I do like to keep an eye on him, so I occasionally visit his IMDB page.

Turns out, Nathan is filming a new tv series for 2009. It's called Castle, and here's the description from the show's website:

Castle is a witty drama based on a famous mystery novelist who helps the NYPD homicide department solve crimes.

Nick Castle [Nathan Fillion] had grown weary of having it all, “fame, fans and females”, until he was approached by the attractive Detective Kate Beckett [Stana Katic] of the NYPD to help catch the copy-cat killer staging murders based on scenes from his novels.

Castle’s approach to solving the crimes conflicts with Beckett’s conservative approach leading to much tension and a hint of romance.

Keeping Castle grounded are his mother, teenage daughter Alexis [Molly C. Quinn], poker playing friends James Patterson, Sue Grafton, and Stephen King and his ex wife Gina who is also his editor.

Ok, so wait a minute. Does that mean that James Patterson, Sue Grafton, and Stephen King will actually be in the show? Because that would be pretty awesome. And everyone loves some good old fashioned UST.

I see that ABC is the corporation behind the show....while that doesn't necessarily mean it will air on ABC, I am going to advise Nathan to avoid FOX at all costs. Let's just say he and FOX don't have the best track record.

Yeah, you look happy now, Nathan. But you better hope your new show doesn't air on FOX. Run from FOX, Nathan, run!

Do you remember the time

Remember when Zach Gilford was the Secret Boyfriend of the Week? I do.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

Source

I'll tell you. Something that vaguely resembles a beard tried to eat his face.

Zach, honey. Shave now. Before it's too late!

I just "Expelled" my lunch

Ben Stein is a smart man - he has been a lawyer, a professor, and a White House speech writer. His game show, Win Ben Stein's Money, showed us that he knows a great deal about any number of subjects. When I first heard that he was making a movie about the Evolution vs Creationism debate, I was intrigued. When I realized he was coming down on the side of 'intelligent design,' I was appalled.


Let me admit my bias: in my opinion, 'intelligent design' is not science. Because its definition includes the existence of a supernatural being, it cannot be proved or disproved. Therefore, I do not think it should be published in scientific journals or taught in science classrooms. According to Stein this makes me part of Big Science, a vast left-wing conspiracy to quash independent thought and refute the existence of god.

Expelled has all the elements of really good propaganda. The proponents of 'intelligent design' are interviewed by Stein sitting in their homes, local coffee shops or outdoors, using natural lighting and flattering camera angles. Scientists, on the other hand, are shown answering questions in darkened offices or laboratories, usually standing up and facing the camera. Ominous music plays in the background every time one of them questions Judeo-Christian doctrine. Stein visits concentration camps and relives the dark days of eugenics, essential equating evolutionary biologists with Nazi 'scientists.' I so wish that was an exaggeration.

This movie would be hilarious, if it wasn't so painful to watch. Not because it makes you question evolutionary theory or think critically about 'intelligent design' (trust me, it does neither). But because a smart, funny man is exposed as nothing but a shyster, a fake.

Class dismissed.

For more information, check out Expelled Exposed from the National Center for Science Education.

Finale Round-Up

After weeks and weeks of effort, I think I have finally made my way through the season finale's of this spring's shows. So here are my thoughts:

House: I think this one takes the prize for best finale. While some have called this season uneven, I have to disagree. Even as a relative new-comer to the show, I was becoming bored by the formulaic episodes, and I thought shaking up the cast was brilliant. But the finale, with the trippiness of House's hallucinations, the slo-mo bus accident, and the aftermath of Amber's injuries and death, was fantastic. I don't often cry at tv shows, but Robert Sean Leonard and Anne Dudek knocked it out of the park and left me a quivering mass of tear and snot.

Supernatural: OMG they went there. I thought it was inevitable that Dean would get dragged to hell, but I never thought we would actually see the hellhounds rip him to shreds. I don't think I have ever squirmed so much during a television show. And once again Supernatural proves that little children are always evil. ALWAYS.

Bones: I am a very casual Bones viewer, but WTF? Zack is evil? And has his hands burned off? LAME.

Lost: People are raving about this finale, but for me it was somewhere between "very good" and "meh." Which I guess means it scores an "it was alright." The story certainly moved forward, as the Oceanic 6 finally made it off the island, and there were of course more mysteries set up for next year, such as where did the island go, but overall. Eh. Even the death of Jin lacked emotional resonance for me because we already knew he was dead and the cause (i.e. the freighter exploding) seemed the most likely culprit. I will say the most genuine moment of shock for me came when Penny appeared on the boat and she and Desmond had their emotional reunion and kiss. I thought for sure this plotline would get dragged out for years, but no! We actually had some resolution! And it was happy! Yay! Also, Claire was effing creepy in Kate's dream.

Desperate Housewives: I started watching this show this season because Nathan Fillion got added to the cast. While I found most of the characters insufferable (Susan and Gabriella, looking at you), I hung in there, and I am glad I did. The finale was exciting, unexpected, had a lot of action, and emotion. I think the shot of Katherine's mother kneeling before the toppled bookcase and Dylan's arm sticking out from underneath it is one of the most disturbing things I have seen and was truly shocking. But it wasn't gratuitous; the show had been building to the reveal of something horrible having had happen, and that certainly fit the bill. Also, Nathan Fillion came back. So, yay! As for the 5 year flash forward, meh. After Battlestar Galactica used it so awesomely, it just feels like a cliche now.

CSI: Is anyone really surprised Warrick got killed off? After the actor's drug bust and wife-beating allegations, it was only a matter of time.

The Office: Oh, boo, Toby is gone. I loved him. And curse you Andy for stealing Jim's chance to propose! The tag at the end with Angela and Dwight engaging in some carnal knowledge of one another would seem to argue against her actually marrying Andy, but who knows with this show. And will Pam be moving to New York? And whose heart did not break when Jan told Michael the baby was not his? God, this show is so good.

Ugly Betty: I don't for one minute believe that Betty would pick Gio or Henry. She is totally going to have an "I choose me!" moment, just you wait. Having said that, I am totally in the Gio camp. Henry had his time and made his choices. See you in Tucson! Also, "the blink and you'll miss it" LiLo cameo was kind of dumb, but it sounds like she will be coming back for a few episodes in the Fall. Oh, and Hilda? You really want to get involved with a married guy? REALLY? He is pretty hot though. Sigh. No easy choices in Betty-land, eh?

American Idol: Don't watch and don't care. You want a recap of that, harass Caroline.

Captain Apollo for President

What happened to Battlestar Galactica?

It’s not that Friday’s night episode was bad. I would not go so far as to say that even when BSG is bad its better than 90% of everything else on TV (maybe 75%).

Of course, the episode had its moments, but really…. Lee as president. I saw that coming from a mile away. In the past Lee has been my favorite character (please Maggie, no comments from the peanut gallery), but every since the “hooker” episode and the fat suit I’ve been less dubious. It seems the writers have tried hard to give him an arc but they kept flailing around searching for the “right” moments. Badger-Nomo is absolutely right, Lee keeps falling into the leadership rolls he has by virtue of his…. virtue. But I’ve felt for a long time that Lee’s (tough to call him Apollo outside of the Viper) destiny is tied up with Starbuck’s. Where does this feeling come from? From watching seasons 1-3 the last three weeks! Even Dee sensed it in the boxing episode. The showdown between Lee and Badger-Nomo was nice, a great throwback to the episode when we first meet Tom Zarek, and it reminded me why I still like Lee, but it still begs the question: what happened to BSG?

The character stuff with the Admiral was better, but once again we saw this coming. Adama finally admits his feelings towards Roslin. Erin Fox at TV Guide has a nice recap about the Adama scenes so I won’t waste time on them.

Two things that bugged me and were never really addressed: 1) If the primary problem with Zarek was not being supported by Adama (it was never really about him not being supported by the military), then doesn’t the idea of Lee as President loose its teeth when Adama steps down. Maybe our favorite acerbic, secret Cylon commander would not be opposed to Zarek. And 2) Tigh and Six are having a baby!!!!????!!!! What does this mean for the evolution of Cylons?

And for all those interested parties, I found a great link about the theology of the show, including a terrific interview with Ron Moore. Check it out on Beliefnet.com.

Secret Boyfriend of the Week: Helo edition

Why Helo from Battlestar Galactica, you may ask? Like you need a reason? How about the buff arms. Or his pending connection to the Joss-verse with his appearance in Dollhouse. Also, he's Canadian. Gotta love those Canadians. And his real name is cool: Tahmoh Penikett.

You going to the gun show, Helo?

Badass.

PS: If he ends up being killed at the end of the show, I will be VERY put out. I'm looking at you Ron D. Moore.

Have you seen this dog?

MISSING

Golden Retriever. Answers to the name of "Digby." Loves the smell of freshly baked pie, being scrunched (preferably by a wooden arm), and dancing.

Yeah, that's right, dancing.

Last seen: December 2007.

Distinguishing characteristics: shaved area on bum.


Warning: dog may smell slightly of death.

If you have any information as to Digby's whereabouts, please call (555) EAT-PIES and ask for Ned.

Public Enemy No. 1

No one can deny that Flava Flav (real name William Drayton) is a cultural icon. As a member of Public Enemy, he invented the role of the hype man (aka rap sidekick). His distinctive grill/glasses/giant clock combo make him one of the most recognizable figures in American pop culture. And yet ...

I hate him with every fiber of my being.

He's just a horrible little man.

Some of you may be asking, "why you be hatin', Sri?" I'll tell you why. Drayton is the worst thing to happen to television since that damned Head On commercial. His crimes against TV are legion, but I will attempt to briefly summarize his most atrocious offenses here.

1. The Surreal Life - This show combined all the intelligence of reality TV with all the basic human decency of has-been celebrities. It was kind of funny, but mostly just sad. When you get the call from The Surreal Life, you pretty much know your career is over. Drayton added insult to self-injury by forming the most disgusting couple ever with Brigitte Nielsen (Skeletor's long lost half-sister). At this point, I was actually pretty tolerant of the creepy couple - I was perfectly willing to have them ride off into the proverbial sunset, never to be heard from again.

2. Strange Love - But then, Nielsen and Drayton decided to parlay their disturbing romance into their own reality show gig. Highlights included Drayton yelling at Nielsen for giving their contact information out to his kids - turns out, Drayton is a deadbeat dad. Chuck D, Batman to Flav's Robin, made a public statement denouncing his former boy-wonder's behavior. Said Drayton , "What you see on the show definitely is Flav. It's just that you're seeing certain sides of Flav that Flav didn't want people to see." Funny. We didn't want to see them, either.

3. Flavor of Love - When the two "parted amicably," Flav went lookin' for love in all the wrong places. The three (three!) seasons of this show will go down in history as the most trashy, dehumanizing and perverse human activity ever caught on tape. I actually watched the series finale, in which the twenty-odd women who had been vying for Drayton's attention got the shock of their lives - in the end, he didn't chose any of them! Drayton decided to propose to one of his many baby mamas.

Congrats, you've just traded self-respect for 15 seconds of fame!

What are you going to do now?

4. Under One Roof - The one good thing about Drayton's new show on myNetwork TV is that it certainly will not last long. This is the story of an ex-con who moves in with his well-to-do brother and "turns his life up-side down." Guess which one Drayton plays. The writing is nauseating, the characters are two-dimensional, and the humor is so low-brow that it practically drags its knuckles. I'm not entirely convinced their creative team doesn't consist of four 15 year-old boys sitting around in someone's basement, smoking pot and playing Grand Theft Auto. "Oh, man! The housekeeper should, like, be Asian and stuff! And she never says 'me' or 'I,' cause Asians can't talk right, yo. Dude, dude, dude! Her name can be, like, Su Ho! Get it? Ho?!? Now watch me run over this cop."

Flava Flav, do all of us a favor. Stop yourself right now, and preserve what dignity you and Public Enemy have left. Or if you won't do it for yourself, do it for the children.

First Instinct: Sad, Second Instinct: Happy

Hi, everyone! There has been an appalling lack of updates lately, but that's what happens when you get sent to Boston for a week for work and put in a REALLY nice hotel that charges $10 a day for internet so you leave your laptop at home.

Anyway.

The news broke recently that Russel T. Davis is leaving Doctor Who (he's the head writer and basically the guy who created the newest incarnation of the long-running show).

At first I was all, bummer. But then I saw that replacing him is Steven Moffat. And I thought, HELL YES. He of "The Empty Child," The Doctor Dances," "The Girl in the Fireplace," and "Blink." The man is a genius.

And as much as I love Russell, his tendency to portray a sparkly Jesus Doctor was getting a bit grating and heavy-handed.

From sparkly Jesus Doctor....


....to totally effing scary. Woot!

So bring it, BBC! Just don't tell me if David Tennant is leaving. One, I hate spoilers, and two, I don't think my heart can take it. I still haven't gotten over my Christopher Eccleston abandonment issues.

Go, Fat Girl, Go!

YES!


Tyra has dubbed Whitney America's Next Top Model. Who've thunk it?

I think she might actually have a shot at a career in modeling, since she is historic as the first "plus-size*" winner, and lots of women (who are normal-sized) would probably pay more attention to brands that she models.

*Yeah, like she's plus-sized. *snort*

Summer Lovin'

As May sweeps draw to a close we enter the dog days of summer, with no original television for months on end. And in the wake of the WGA strike, some shows have been MIA since December. This forces us to watch re-runs of our favorite shows, new-to-you episodes of our least favorite shows, or - heaven forfend! - leave the house.

Luckily, the USA network is saving us from this dire fate. Obviously its hit from last summer, Burn Notice, will enjoy a triumphant return to the small screen. USA will also be showing new episodes of Law and Order: Criminal Intent. Which, incidentally, is my favorite L&O franchise.

USA, have you been reading my diary?

Criminal Intent has gone through about half a dozen detectives, but for my money you can't beat the original crime-fighting duo of Eames (Kathryn Erbe) and Goren (Vincent D'Onofrio). Erbe does an excellent job of portraying a pragmatic, street-savvy cop without degenerating into stereotypes that emphasize/de-emphasize her gender. Erbe's actual pregnancy was written into the show - Eames acted as a surrogate for her sister, and was hugely pregnant for several episodes. No hiding behind bulky pant-suits for her*. And D'Onofrio steals every scene, with his mind-fuckery and general creepiness. If you saw this guy coming down the street, you'd cross and start going the other direction. At the same time, he comes off as a truly heroic character and I love him completely.

Erbe and D'Onofrio further proved their awesomeness by appearing in the USA promo for Criminal Intent. I know where I'll be Sundays at 9pm (staring June 8th).



*Gillian, you know I love you. And you know I'll be first in line for a ticket to I Want To Believe.

MSCR: Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law

Right from the start, the title just grabs you. You sit there scratching your head, trying to figure out how a D-list superhero from the late sixties transitioned into a career as a defense attorney. As it turns out ... he took a correspondence course.


This show brings back some of the most forgettable characters from the Hanna-Barbera lineup and crams them into the usual Lawyer Show premise. Peter Potamus plays Harvey's annoying coworker, the Super Friends make regular appearances as both plaintiffs and defendants, with the Honorable Judge Mentok the Mind-taker presiding.

Judge Mentok, shown here hypnotizing the jury.

The humor lies in seeing these beloved childhood icons lie, cheat, and finagle their way through a gross parody of our legal system. Watching the show for any amount of time will evoke feelings of surprise, disgust, and titillation. Often concurrently.

This show is perfect for anyone who enjoys classic cartoons and surrealist comedy. Which, I will admit, may include a scant few. But if you are one of these discerning late-night couch potatoes, Harvey Birdman is for you! Check it out during the coveted weeknights-at-1am spot on Cartoon Network.

Linky!

Here are some links to help you soldier through to the end of the week:

I'm a Veronica Mars fan, you're a Veronica Mars fan, but I don't know if I am THIS BIG of a Veronica Mars fan. On the other hand, Michael Muhney is so awesome. And what is $800, really?

Kristin from E! interviews Eric Kripke (a.k.a the Kripkeeper), the creator of Supernatural. Good stuff coming down the pike guys!

USA Today has an article on the new shows on deck for the 2008-2009 television season. Some sound really good (Dollhouse), some sound promising (Fringe), and some sound awful (Beverly Hills 9021vomit).

Finally, vote for the best character on tv! Ben Linus gets my vote all the way. But I do adore Olive Snook....

Is this really necessary?

You can try, but you'll never succeed. The mullet cannot be contained.

Seriously?

"MacGyver" creator Lee David Zlotoff announced at Maker Faire 2008 this weekend that a big budget 'MacGyver' movie is in the planning stages."

Meh.

Best mullet ever!

PS: Even more mullet fun! Best. Mullets. EVER.

Friday Night is alright!

Friday night is typically known as a dead night of television. After all, most of the 18-34 year olds are out partying, and since they are the most sought after demographic, the networks tend to discount Fridays.

But something funny happened on the way to the tv guide. Friday nights became a night of appointment television for me. Well, not really appointment, because I am often not home to watch it, but if you check my DVR recording list, there is a hella lot of shows set to be records on Friday. If I may provide a list:

Moonlight
Numb3rs
Sarah Jane Adventures
Doctor Who
Battlestar Gallactica
What Not to Wear

6 shows, on one night! Yikes. That's more than any other night, even Thursdays. And yeah, they are all dorky shows, but still. BSG is top-notch.

So, rock on Fridays. And thanks for ruining my social life and making me want to stay in and watch tv. Because that's the only reason I wouldn't have anything better to do on a Friday night. I swear. I have friends. Really! Stop looking at me like that.

You spend your Friday however you want.
I will spend mine watching Jason Dohring turn another dude into a vampire.
Just to clarify: he's the one doing the biting.

Secret Boyfriend of the Week: Scott Patterson

After the news broke earlier this week that Aliens in America (one of the funniest, most touching, and let's be honest, real, shows out there) would most likely not be returning for a second season, my heart broke. And not just because I would miss the show. But because it meant not seeing this week's Secret Boyfriend, Scott Patterson, on my tv every Sunday.

Most commonly known for his role as Luke on Gilmore Girls, the scruffy diner-owner with a heart of gold and a thing for Lorelai, Scott Patterson has won over women (and probably a lot of dudes) for his accurate portrayal of the guy next door. Not the typically handsome, clean-cut, football-throwing, tv-land type of guy next door, but the REAL kind of guy next door. The kind who who only owns like three shirts, most likely washes his hair with plain old soap, and tells it like it is.

So, here's to you Scott Patterson. I can't wait to see what project you do next, and I only hope that it brings you into my home at least once a week, every week. That's what she said.

Lost Linkage

For some reason, there are some good chats out there about Lost today. Check this one out, from E!, an interview with Michael Emerson who plays my creepy secret boyfriend, Benjamin Linus. The show has been so on this season, but he continues to blow my mind (ew, not like that) each week with his portrayal of Ben. And if last week's episode didn't have "Emmey reel" written all over it, then I'm not Maggiecats.

Here is the transcript to the weekly Lost hour online chat hosted by the Washington Post crew. Liz and Jen pick up on a lot of the little details that I miss, and just help me figure out what the heck is going on.

Finally, hottie Henry Ian Cusick was also online for The Post taking fan questions. While most of his answers veer in the disappointing provide-no-real-answer "thanks for writing me!" vein, the "Ian, exactly how many more buttons on that blue shirt does Des expect to lose during all these adventures?" question cracked me up. The amount of chest he's showing is getting a tad ridiculous. Not that I mind.

Frankie Says, "Relax."

The first sign that you might be taking your reality show obsession a smidge too seriously? When you STAB someone for talking during the show. And not just any show, but Top Model no less.

Yeah, I'm not making this up.

The scariest part? "The suspect was still at large early Thursday evening."

AHHH! There is a roving Top Model fanatic with a knife at large! What if she kicks down my door and stabs me for laughing too loudly at what Tyra is wearing at panel? Hey, it could happen.

Sequels and the law of diminishing returns

It is a plain fact that the sequel to a movie is never as good as the original (notable exceptions being, by and large, book adaptations). But the Hollywood Movie Machine is in love with repeating formulas, which is much easier and safer than trying creative ideas. Or maybe it's us, too willing to buy tickets to the same shit in a different pile.

Take The Cutting Edge - the quintessential romantic comedy. A brutish young man and a frigid young woman are thrown together by circumstance and shared ambition. Sparks and witty banter fly to a early 90's soundtrack. Misunderstandings, rivalry, and drunken confessions all culminate in that one perfect moment - the music crescendos and they kiss. Roll credits.

It's schmaltz, pure and simple. But it's just so good. The story is alchemical, greater than the sum of its parts. If you don't like this movie, you're missing an X chromosome. Or a soul.

"You are an immature asshole of the lowest order. "
She so wants him.

You think to yourself, The Cutting Edge seems bad but is actually good - it's sequels seem much worse and should, by extension, be better! Sadly, this is not the case. ABC Family has been showing all three Edges back to back - the original, Going for the Gold and Chasing the Dream. And like some sort of exquisite train wreck, I can't turn away.

Going for the Gold tries to follow the pattern of the original as closely as possible. Doug's hockey career is replaced by Alex's surfing fame. Jacki (Doug and Kate's daughter) is just as talented and insufferable as young Kate. Even key scenes are repeated, like that embarrassing hotel room scene with Alex's fiancee Heidi taking the place of Lorie Peckarovski. It's like someone scarfed down the original movie, and vomited up Going for the Gold. No wonder D.B. Sweeney and Moira Kelly couldn't be convinced to reprise their roles.

Of course, they go right for the "ice princess" pun
the original worked so hard to avoid.

Chasing the Dream tries to shake things up - this time, the figure skater is a man (Zack) and the hockey player is a woman (Alexandra). And she's Latina! Can't go wrong with an ethnic mismatch comedy. But again, Chasing the Dream just rehashes the original - down to the running gag of "toe pick!" and the use of The Pamchenko Twist. Jacki (Christy Carlson Romano) appears as Zack and Alexandra's coach, and tries desperately to lend the movie some thin veneer of authenticity. Needless to say, she fails.

Why, God? Why?

The best Edge sequel is not actually a sequel at all, but a satire: Blades of Glory - the bromantic comedy starring Will Ferrell and Jon Heder as the first male/male figure skating team. It doesn't recycle the plot of the original, it lampoons it to hilarious effect. If you haven't seen it, run - don't walk - to add it to your Netflix queue.

Finally, a movie worthy of The Cutting Edge legacy.

Sword of Truth

You would think someone who helped manage a tv blog would be up on the latest news. Yeah, not so much.

Apparently, the news that Sam Raimi was creating a television series from Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth novels has been out there for a while, but this is the first I've heard of it. Thanks, Wikipedia!

According to a press release on Terry Goodkind's website, the series will be one hour long, is aimed for the forthcoming Fall 2008 season, and will be aired in syndication.

As a fan of the books, I'm pretty excited about this, just as I am about HBO producing a series from George R. R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series. My only concern is that fantasy series in syndication seem to trend more towards the Xena and Hercules area then the more serious, adult themes consistent with the Sword of Truth books. But I will withhold judgment until I see it and until then will just be excited!

Look, I love me some Joxer. But Xena wasn't exactly known for it's seriousness, you know? Also, that's Sam Raimi's brother! Ted Raimi is so adorkable. Seaquest DSV, represent!

Buffy-a-thon 2008

To celebrate my purchase of The Chosen Collection Maggie, our friend Kristin, I had a Buffy the Vampire Slayer marathon this weekend. It was truly glorious - the three of us geeked out, ate vampire cupcakes and quoted lines for about sixteen hours (two episodes per season plus bathroom and pizza breaks ... not to be confused with bathroom-and-pizza breaks, which would just be gross). And because I know you all want to be just like us, here's the list of episodes we watched:

Season One- We decided to watch the first and the last episodes of this season, "Welcome to the Hellmouth" and "Prophecy Girl."

Season Two- James Marsters is my TV boyfriend, so we watched "School Hard," the first appearance of Spike. We added "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered" to celebrate the light-and-fluffier side of the first few seasons. Also, Xander/Cordelia = awwwww!

Season Three- Okay, "Band Candy" was a must just to see Giles as Ripper, mackin' on Joyce. Hi-larious. And because we secretly love Badass Vampires!Willow and Xander, Kicked Puppy!Angel and Cleveland?!?Buffy, we had to watch "The Wish."

You ask what he's rebelling against and he says,
'What have ya got, pig?'

Season Four-

Me: I will fight to the death over "Something Blue!"
Maggie: You know, "Pangs" has more Spike -
Me: Done.

And then we watched "Restless," because it is a classic Kristin and I couldn't remember watching. 'I wear the cheese ... it does not wear me.'

Season Five- At this point, Kristin and Maggie are so worn down by my constant Spike squee-ing that they let me have "Fool for Love." But then it was time to bring the room down a bit with "The Gift." *sniff sniff*

Season Six- This was a hard decision, because we didn't want to get too much into Willow's whole mess. So we chose "Life Serial" for whacky Trio hijinks and "Tabula Rasa" for shits and giggles.

Aaaah, vampires!!

Season Seven- 'Buffy, the Slayer of the Vam-pyres.' For that line alone, we had to watch "Storyteller." And to bring the marathon to a close we watched the series finale, "Chosen."

Me (with a blanket over my head): I love this show so much! *sob*
Maggie: You are ridiculous.

The Two Spocks, Together At Last

I think the world might implode from the collective awesomeness that is the two Spocks being together in the same room. While this interview from TV Guide with Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto, my secret boyfriend, is way too short, it is very cute. And I cannot wait for the new Trek movie. Let's take a slingshot trip around the sun and try to travel into the future, k?

One Spock, two Spock, mwah ah ah!

Thoughts on Miss Guided

While surfing through the channels and pining for the return of Ugly Betty (April 24th at 8pm, bitches!) I stumbled upon Miss Guided, ABC's other quirky-girl comedy. It stars Judy Greer as Becky Freeley, a guidance counselor who returns to work at her own high school. The format of the show is reminiscent of a mockumentary, complete with characters who monologue to the camera. Best Line Of The Series (so far) goes to Earl Billings as Principal Huffy: "Some people think this job is easy. It's not. You have to be fair, firm and impersonal. Here's my secret - I'm dead inside."


A school guidance counselor's job ranges from the monotonous to the heart-wrenching ... they have to deal with troubled kids, but they also have to fill out the paperwork after. Becky's life is free of these burdensome responsibilities - she has plenty of time to wander the halls, getting up to all sorts of wacky shenanigans. If you are looking for a sensitive and accurate portrayal of life as a guidance counselor, Miss Guided is not the place. On the other hand, all the med students I know love the train wreck that is Grey's Anatomy ... maybe when you have a tough job, you don't mind someone romanticizing it a bit (read: until it's completely unrecognizable).

Also, Chris Parnell! Everybody wins.

Oh, thank the Lord.

I was really starting to question Rob Thomas' judgment there. Sacrilege, I know!

Going to the Chapel

Congratulations to Caroline and Joe! That's right folks, TV Sluts co-founder, Caroline, got engaged over the weekend to her boyfriend, Joe. We're looking at September 2009 for the big day, so mark your calendars now and start searching for that perfect gift. Fondue pot? Broiler pan? Candlesticks? How will I ever decide?

Guess this means Caroline is going to have start watching shows like The Real Wedding Crashers, Whose Wedding is It Anyway, and pretty much everything that airs on WE (television for women). Look for exciting reviews of these tv shows soon!

Not.

Congratulations Caroline and Joe!

Somewhere, Jason Dohring is pouting

What to Watch: The Paper

I pretty much abandoned MTV about 3 years ago. While I was known to indulge in the occasional Sunday morning marathon of Made during law school (great way to get over a hangover), I don't watch The Hills, or The Real World, or Road Rules Ultimate Smackdown, or any of the other crappy shows and non-music videos they currently air. Is TRL even ON anymore?

BUT.

There is a new show airing tonight on MTV at 10:30pm called The Paper. Basically, it's a reality show about a bunch of high-schoolers who work on an award-winning school newspaper. And if you think this sounds boring, then you have obviously never known any of those crazy, over-achieving, must-get-into-an-Ivy-League-college-or-I-will-die kind of high-schoolers. Because I think this show sounds AWESOME.

While my federal government firewall prevents me from offering a link to MTV homepage for the show, feel free to peruse these reviews from Newsday, Variety, and The New York Times.

Excerpt from NYT:

It’s funny to see a show on MTV whose drama stems in part from mayhem over page layouts. Even if very little of the actual practice of journalism is on view in “The Paper” — no 10th graders confronting county superintendents about proposed budget cuts — the series holds valuable life lessons for teenagers. A whole lot of working life involves talking about work, and the hard-driving loudmouth usually wins.

Oh, I cannot wait! Life lessons! Bitchy editors! Geeky high school students! Teenage breakdowns! This show will have it all.

A few thoughts on The Office

Ok, so The Office came back last night. I was really looking forward to its return, but to my dismay, we only spent about 2 minutes in the actual office. Instead, the episode took place in Michael and Jan's condo where they had a couples-only dinner party.

And explored the limits of the word awkward.

Seriously. I had to watch most of the episode from behind my fingers, as the on-screen situations because so uncomfortable that I really think it reached epic proportions. Watching the dissolution of Michael and Jan's relationship was just...painful. Almost too painful. The Office has always excelled at mixing those uncomfortable situations with humor, and while last night's episode was funny (especially the Hunter shout-out), I can't help but feel...almost dirty after watching it. It was more like watching two real people completely coming apart at the seams than it was watching a tv comedy. And put alongside the last new episode from before the strike ("The Deposition), we are clearly at a dark place in The Office's timeline.

And it seemed rather out of character for Jim to almost ditch Pam at the party, no? I was surprised he would be that selfish.

Hopefully the coming weeks we'll see more of a light-hearted The Office. Because I shouldn't feel depressed after watching this show, right? Although Ricky Gervais might disagree. Especially about this whole spin-off idea. That is probably cause for depression.

Ted Mosby is a Jerk

*This post was originally written about a week ago, and for some reason got lost in the ether. But it's still true. And Neil Patrick Harris is a genius.


How I Met Your Mother has been on a role lately. The show has been consistently funny since it aired, and basically reinvented Neil Patrick Harris (although Harold and Kumar didn't hurt), but this Monday's episode really hit it out of the park. Barney (NPH) created his own March Madness bracket to discover which woman he had screwed over the most in an attempt to uncover who was stalking him and warning his potential one night stands that he was a total asshat.

As part of his quest, Barney revisited a certain lovely woman he had told he was "Ted Mosby...the architect." Ted, is of course, the narrator of the show and Barney's best friend. While yelling at Barney, the woman mentioned that she had, of course, created a website at www.tedmosbyisajerk.com. Because this show is so awesome, that website actually exists. It also contains a 20 minute theme song that is a must-hear.

But the best part of the episode was the tag at the end during the credits. As the camera pans across a bedroom wall, familiar computerized plinking musical notes begin. The opening credits of Doogie Howser,M.D. And there we find Barney sitting at his laptop, writing in his computer journal, with word perfect no less, just as his other tv persona, Doogie Howser, did at the end of every episode. The lesson Barney learned through his latest adventure was that he is awesome. But the lesson I learned is that this show is awesome. And the bump in ratings from the Britney guest star episode (which was also really really funny) means a fourth season is assured.

Well, color me surprised.

I was so confident going into last night's Make Me a Supermodel that Ronnie would win, that I didn't even watch the show. Also, when you get up before 6:00, staying until 11:00 at night to see Ronnie's inevitable victory seemed kind of pointless. Instead, I was watched the show as I got ready for work this morning.

And, whaaa? I mean, who, in the how, in the what? Holy crap, you guys! Ronnie didn't win!

Go Holly!

Ok, so let me explain. By the time this show was about half way through its run, I was rooting for Holly. It was clear to me that she was the best model of the bunch, and isn't that what the show should be about? Yeah, not exactly. All one had to do was peruse the Bravo TV website for the show, or read afterelton.com to see that the gay community had really embraced this show, especially Ronnie. And why not? Dude is hot and often awesome. There's a reason why so many men made it to the finale. Gay guys were watching this show and voting in large numbers. Only one person mentioned this at last week's reunion show (Dominic, I think?) and when the judges kept going on and on about why Ronnie was still on the show because he had really grown as a model blah blah blah, I couldn't help but snort. He's hot, yo. That's why he's still here.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Bravo made the show so America would vote for who they liked. And lots of people liked Ronnie. In my opinion, he is a great model and would have been a good choice for the win. I think Holly is the better model, but to each his own.

But in the end, Holly pulled through. I'm not exactly sure how...but I'm not going to wonder too much. Because it made me happy. She's fierce, y'all:

Just so you know, that's not her actual hair.

And here is my prediction. Holly will go on to have a long successful career as a model. She'll book campaigns and runway shows and work steadily. But I don't think anyone can deny that Ronnie is going to be the break-through star of this show. I'm not sure his fame will culminate in his being a "supermodel," although I am sure Ralph Lauren will be calling him soon, but I think Ronnie is going to become more a general celebrity, making personal appearances and the like. I would not be surprised to see him become some kind of spokesman in the future.

So, well done all! While some of the finalists occasionally engaged in various degrees of douchebaggery, by the end, I found myself liking them. Even Ben. Even though every word out of his mouth usually made me roll my eyes.

The only thing that really made me sad about Ronnie not winning, was what his Mom had said the night before. Something along the lines of, "I was always second best, but you are going to be number one." And then when he almost made it to the end, but not quite...sniff. Poor Ronnie's Mom! I think she was my favorite, they should make her a supermodel.

DT on Friday Night Project

Friday Night Project is a hilarious variety show on the BBC, going into it's sixth season. The last episode was hosted by none other than David Tennant, with an appearance from Freema Agyeman. Warning: the following clips include extremely awkward moments, including a reading of Doctor Who fanfiction. No, Maggie, I did not write the Doctor/Jack excerpt. As if I would ... Jack/Ianto OTP!


Part One


Part Two


Part Three


Part Four


Part Five

LOL! Will it never end?

I've blogged about Lost. I have even blogged about LOL Cats. But now I can blog about both!

Behold.

The end is totally nigh.

Lifetime: Television for Serial Killers and the Women Who Love Them

So, let's talk Lifetime. As in "television for women." As in, "Maggie really enjoys watching the Spike channel and has probably never seen a Lifetime movie except when she goes to her Grandmother's house and her Grandmother and Aunt make her watch all those movies made from Danielle Steele novels." But, it looks like Lifetime might be trying to toughen its image.

Tonight, starting at 6:00 pm, Lifetime is airing its first original miniseries, "The Capture of the Green River Killer," about the true story of a serial killer who terrorized Seattle in the 1980s and 90s. Part I actually aired last night, but I was too busy emptying all of my kitchen cabinets and drawers in preparation for my condo's annual extermination extravaganza. But the entire thing is airing tonight, so no worries.

The miniseries stars Tom Cavanagh as the police detective (turned sheriff, turned Congressman), whom you might remember from Ed. I wouldn't expect to see any of his light comedic fluffiness in this drama (or Michael Ian Black for that matter), but the reviews have been good and it feeds into my enjoyment of the serial-killer-true-crime genre. So I'll definitely be watching.

Oh, did I mention that it stars James Marsters (Spike!) as convincted serial killer Ted Bundy? Hot and disturbing. Sweet.

Methinks there is a reason James Marsters keeps getting roles playing sociopaths.

Cartoons for kids! What will they think of next?

Nowadays a lot children's programs do their best to conform to the standards of E/I, or "educational and informative" television. It might as well stand for "ennui*-inducing." What's the point of teaching values if you can't get the kids to stick around for the punchline moral?

So this episode of the cartoon round-up is dedicated to a show that incorporates lessons without sacrificing entertainment value. If you liked Dragonheart or Ever After, you'll love Jane and the Dragon.



This medieval adventure is about a girl training to become a knight, who rescues a prince by befriending the dragon. Crazy? Maybe. But the show is made crazy awesome by the creator's attention to detail. Every character has an elaborate back-story (which you can read on the official website). As such, their motivations are complex and their emotions compelling - a rare treat in children's television.

Beyond that, the animation is really well done. Often CGI looks stiff and fake, but with a production team who worked on The Lord of the Rings and The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Jane and the Dragon is freaking adorable. The style is faithful to the series of books the show was based on, written and illustrated by Martin Baynton.



Jane and the Dragon airs Saturdays at 12:30 on NBC (part of the Qubo lineup).

--

*Yes, I know how to use a thesaurus. Try to contain your shock.

In my ever-present quest to distract our readers from doing actual work, here are some links to get you through the day.

Sci-Fi channel is REALLY trying to get you to watch Battlestar Galactica when it premieres April 4. They have a preview of the fourth season airing tonight at 10 pm, and a half-hour "documentary" looking back at the previous three seasons on at 10:30 pm. They're also running marathons every day from March 31 - April 4. So you really have no excuse not to catch up. Unless you don't have cable. In which case, how do you survive?

Also, in an interview, Edward James Olmos says he's cool if everyone on the show dies this season. Ok then.

John Krasinki! I've missed you so much. Come back, The Office!

I watched about 4 episodes of The Tudors last year before I determined that it sucked. But adding Peter O'Toole to the cast as the Pope might be enough to make me watch again. Maybe. The season premiere is Sunday at 9:00 pm on Showtime.

The X-Files Paley Fest report!

Christian from Project Runway on Ugly Betty....fierce!

USA Today really likes the new version of Sense and Sensibility airing on Sunday on Masterpiece. I remain dubious. I mean, the Ang Lee version has Hugh Laurie! And Alan Rickman! Can't beat that.

Jeff Zucker, the CEO of NBC, is causing a controversy for comments made about the writer's strike on the new My Name is Earl promo.

Also from the The Washington Post, the top 5 rated shows last week were American Idol, Dancing with Stars, and Two and a Half Men. *vomit*
(scroll down for ratings)

After watching the "Supermodel" Reunion

Words cannot express how much I want one of these shirts:



And I can have one. Huzzah!

You know, maybe it's just me, but tv seems a bit of a wasteland lately. Well you've got your Top Model (go, fat girl, go!), and your Torchwood (still hating Owen), but other than that...my DVR is getting pretty lonely. Right now it's just got some Family Guy reruns, Clean House episodes, and episodes of Pushing Daisies and Supernatural I saved from the Fall.

In fact, Tuesday night, I didn't watch any television AT ALL. I read instead! *gasp!* And you know, those Twilight books are pretty good. Although Bella is kind of a dingbat. Seriously, it took her that long to figure out there were werewolves around?

Anyhoo, where hath all the good tv gone? I mean, the strike is over, so clearly the writers, actors, and producers are just being lazy. How am I supposed to wait until the end of April for new episodes of shows??

Thank god for Netflix.