Sunday, December 23, 2007
1. Nightmare Before Christmas - I know what you're thinking. "Sri, isn't this a Halloween movie?" Well, yes. But it is also a Christmas movie, and beneath its purposefully grotesque exterior lies a powerful message. Growing up, I felt like an outsider because my family didn't celebrate Christmas. Eventually my parents gave in to the begging and we started to observe an inauthentic parody of the holiday - tiny fake tree, present, cards. It wasn't until I was in college that I realized... caroling and cookies do not a holiday make. Not to say there's anything wrong with caroling and cookies, because I still love both. This movie articulates the realization that we can enjoy the holiday spirit and season while staying true to our own traditions.
We are all unique little snowflakes. Har.
2. Love Actually - So many amazing story lines, so little time! And while everything ties together, not every ending is happy one - things are messy, like Christmas. Like love. *cue sappy violin music* It doesn't hurt that the cast list reads like page 47 of my diary, "British Celebrities I Want To Make Out With." Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Kris Marshall ... pretty much everyone except for that little blond kid, because that would just be gross.
Thomas Sangster says, "Ew."
3. A Christmas Story - Bet you didn't know that this movie was directed by the man behind Porky's (the O.G. teen sex romp) and Black Christmas (slasher flick about a psychopath terrorizing a sorority house over winter break). The same disregard for delicate suburban sensibilities that makes for good smut/horror serves Bob Clark well in this off-beat holiday comedy. Ralphie, for all that he is the product of 1940's middle-class middle-America, is one twisted little bugger. And that is why we love him.
Can you blame them for not wanting to arm this kid?
4. Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer - Rudolph's story began with a poem penned in 1948 by Robert L. May as a promotional gimmick for Montgomery Ward department store. Shortly thereafter Johnny Marks (May's brother-in-law) put the poem to music, and it became an instant holiday hit. In 1964, NBC aired Rudolph for the first time - and a stop-motion classic was born. Expanding on the song with such characters as Yukon Cornelius and Hermy the Misfit Elf, this movie basically takes a fun idea and runs with it. While the sequels (Rudolph TRNR and The Island of Misfit Toys, Rudolph's Shiny New Year, Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas In July) never faired as well, Rudolph definitely deserves a spot on anyone's best-of holiday list.
So cute, I just had a brain aneurysm.
5. While You Were Sleeping - Call me cheesy, but I'm a sucker for a romantic comedy at any time of the year. Plus, this movie resonates with anyone who has felt lonely during the holidays. The flip side of all this Christmas cheer is that people who aren't surrounded by loved ones feel all the more isolated. Sandra Bullock does a great job as a woman tempted to marry a man she doesn't love, all to bask in the loving warmth of his quirky family. And isn't that what the holidays are all about?
Awww... Wait, what?
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Let me be clear. I am not saying these are the best written, directed, acted, or in any way best made tv shows. But they are the ones that I can't miss. These are the shows I watch as they air, or within 1 or 2 days after, DVR, schedule, and god willing. And since it is for 2007, I am only counting shows that aired new episodes in either the spring or fall seasons. Also, since tv shows are like my children, I cannot play favorites. Therefore, the list is in alaphabetical order. Let's get to it!
2. Doctor Who
3. Friday Night Lights
6. The Office
7. Pushing Daisies
9. Ugly Betty
10. Veronica Mars (RIP May 2007....sniff)
Honorable Mentions: Project Runway, Battlestar Galactica, America's Next Top Model, Mad Men, Damages, and Robin Hood (BBC America rulez)
What have I learned about myself through this process? That I am a giant nerd. Who likes shows with cute boys. The end.
sweet p creates a gordon gartrell for her model. please tell me you remember the gordon gartrell episode on the cosby show where lisa bonet makes this wacky ass shirt for theo. a...maz...ing!!!!
In case you don't remember that epsiode, here is a pic:
And here is Sweet P's shirt:
OMG! Sweet P is a Cosby show fan! You can find Jay's thoughts about PR this season here, on his Elle magazine online blog. Hilarious stuff.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
I mean, give me an effing break. Tyra and Company aren't even trying to make this show legit anymore. They pick girls who are like 5'8 and tell them they have a shot at becoming a model. They have the one token "plus size" girl and then rag on her for having low self-confidence while she is surrounded by skinny bitches all day who eat water and air. Their "runway show" in the season (cycle?) finale had an audience of four. And 500 Chinese extras on stilts. And remember the ghost brides runway from two cycles ago? GHOST BRIDES Y'ALL.
And I don't really have a problem with Saleisha, the winner. She's pretty. Seemed like a nice girl. But, a top model? No. Just...no. The producers of this show, and by producers I mean Tyra, take themselves way too seriously. I feel like she must be surrounded by yes men, who just tell her everything she says is brilliant. "Ghost brides? Awesome idea, Ms. Banks!" "Photo shoots where the girls pose as high-fashion gargoyles in spandex? Genius!"
But here's the thing. I like Tyra. I think she's a strong woman who has basically succeeded in every thing she tried, except for that whole singing career. Shake your body body body, y'all. But anyway, she's kickass. But also kinda detached from reality. But that's ok. It's endearing. Kind of like Forrest Gump. I think she genuinely believes she's making the next great American model and that it's the winners' faults for not becoming the next Tyra Banks. When really it's because they appeared on a reality show that did nothing to prepare them for an actual career in the fashion industry.
Basically, Top Model has now become a caricature of even its cartoonish self. Compare it to something like Project Runway that prides itself on its integrity and makes a real impact on the fashion world. But there's room for both. As long as Top Model realizes its place in the world as mindless entertainment. Think of it as the crazy bipolar gold-digging chain-smoking aunt of Project Runway, and we'll be cool.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
But then you do things like this: Showdown at Area 51. Two alien species decide to wage war, and hey! Isn't Earth, the BFE of the known universe, the bestest place? Of course it is. Besides the fact that this has already been done (in the case of Alien vs. Predator), the potential cheesiness is cringe-worthy.
Am I not getting it? I can't imagine someone green-lighting such monstrosities as Chupacabra: Dark Seas, The Poseidon Adventure, Man-Thing, and Basilisk: The Serpent King. Are these movies intentionally terrible? I would not call them Awesomely Bad, which can only be attained when a movie has the potential to hit Awesome but somehow misses. In contrast, Sci-Fi movies seem to just ... suck.
I'm not one to rant, but it's late and I've had to watch approximately 80 ads for Showdown at Area 51. Come on, Sci-Fi. Deep in your heart of hearts you know that no one wants to watch that shit. Give it up already.
Obviously, I need to go to bed ... right after "Bushwhacked."
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Don't believe me? Check out these lyrics:
Lookin' back on the things I've done
I was tryin' to be someone
I played my part, and kept you in the dark
Now let me show you the shape of my heart
I'm here with my confession
Got nothing to hide no more
I don't know where to start
But to show you the shape of my heart
I'm not a slasher, and even I know that is too perfect. Although you KNOW someone has already put that shit up on youtube.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
It's easy to start watching Deadwood and become disgusted. As noted previously, it's full of the foulest language, and also has violence that makes The Sopranos look tame. But here's the thing about it: it's actually a really complex and really ambitious television show. The language is peppered with more than just profanity, it contains metaphors and sayings straight out of the 1800s. So imagine watching a Shakespearean play where every thee and thou is a fuck and all the characters are really really dirty, not just in language, but in actual filth.
So what is Deadwood about, you ask? The show takes place in post-Civil War times. Deadwood is a town in the Nebraska territory that was on the brink. When the show starts, it's known as a place with no law and gold in the hills. So, naturally, it attracts people who like that kind of thing. After HUGE gold deposits are found, the feds and other legit folk start to get interested, so the town begins to grow and local saloon owners (a.k.a. mobsters) are forced to wrangle with politicians, businessmen, and form an actual town government. It's a snapshot of a particular time in American history, when hypocrisy was as prevalent as prospectors in the hills, and it was impossible to tell the good guys from the bad.
But, in all honesty, the best thing about this show is Ian McShane. As Deadwood's resident top badass, Al Swearegen, the owner of the Gem Saloon, Ian McShane owned the show. His character had a unique moral code (as one character put it, "when Al's not lying, he's the most honest man I know) and in the course of one episode could slit a throat, appointed the town's mayor, sheriff, and fire marshall, and delivered a stunning monologue while receiving a blowjob from a hooker. Did I mention that his bar also was a whorehouse? The fact that McShane only received a Golden Globe during the show's second season is criminal, in fact, the entire cast was Emmy worthy. Which I realize is not the benchmark it once was, but you know what I mean.
Very few things in life scare me. This guy does. Yikes!
The surprising thing about Deadwood is how cerebral the show is. I mean, you figure drinking, hookers, murder, sounds like a good time-killer. Not so much. This show is The West Wing in the Old West. You know how West Wing was the kind of show you had to actually watch and not wander around your house while it was on? Imagine that show with LOTS of profanity, political maneuvering you don't understand, and so many plot threads that you often have no idea what the hell is going on. But it's so good, so deftly handled, and the characters and actors are so damn charismatic, it's worth the effort to translate. Oh, yeah Timothy Olyphant is really hot. If that's what it takes to get you to watch it, I'll do it.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Scruffy and Adorkable
This whimsical comedy chronicles the adventures of Bret (facial hair) and Jermaine (glasses), the eponymous musical duo, as they try to make it in New York City. Interspersed with wild adventures involving low-budget music videos and shrinking leather suits are musical interludes that showcase FotC's true talent - a finely tuned appreciation for the absurd. Songs such as "Humans Are Dead" and "The Most Beautiful Girl In The Room" would make the show worthwhile, even if the rest of the writing sucked. Which it doesn't! So everybody wins.
Rounding out the cast are the group's number one-and-only fan Mel (Kristen Schaal), their long-suffering manager Murray (Rhys Darby), and token half-Indian chauvinist friend Dave (Arj Barker), along with a number of comedians in guest roles. Check out the songs and videos on this fansite (much more interesting than even the HBO website, IMHO). My personal favorite is "Hip-hopopotamus vs. the Rhymenocerous."
They call me the Rhymenocerous,
Not because I'm fat.
Not because I've got birds on my back.
Because I'm horny, I'm horny!
They call me the Hip-hopopotamus
Cause I got flows that glow like phosphorous
Poppin' off the top of this esophagus.
Not because I'm a water dwelling mammal from Africa called a hippopotamus,
I'm not a hippopotamus, I'm a hip-hopopotamus!
Where did you get the preposterous hypothesis that I was a hippopotamus?
Did Steve tell you?
What's he got to do with it?
Friday, November 30, 2007
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Happily, that gap has now been filled. Behold, people, the Supreme Secret TV Boyfriend
of This or Any Other Week, Because He Is Just That Awesome:
Like it's any surprise. I first made the acquaintance of Mr. Dohring via one Logan Echolls, the scene-stealing, chemistry-generating, heart-pounding anti-social rich boy gone bad who stole our girl V's heart on the late, great Veronica Mars. It's a testament to my boy's mad acting skills that when I first met Logan, I hated him instinctively. But by the end of the first season, I was regularly slap-fighting Maggie Cats over who got to call him hers. (I won, btw. Gave up my dibs on Dean Winchester. Worth every penny!) He transformed what could have been a throwaway character -- or at least one undeserving of any sympathy or loyalty -- into one of the most charismatic and complex characters on television. (Plus: the biceps.)
When Veronica got the axe, I feared for my televisual lack of JD. And by "feared," I mean "cried like a little bitch and considered launching a postcard campaign." But, as luck and CBS would have it, he got hired to play Josef Konstantin, the 400-year-old BFF of vampire do-gooder Mick St. John on vampire do-gooder P.I. drama Moonlight. (No, not Moonlighting. Although that would've been a trip, no?) Although the show is, so far, less appointment TV and more, how you say, awesomely bad, JD is brooding and glaring his way into single-handedly dragging the show into the realm of just plain awesome.
Seriously. Check out my boy in a velvet blazer. How many dudes can rock this look? (Other than my actual boy Joe, who deserves a shoutout for both rocking the velvet blazer in the real world and patiently allowing me to use his computer as I compose my mash note to a television personality.) As Josef, JD has got the full-on brooding vamp bit down. And, I am not shitting you, he has chemistry with everyone sharing the scene. Mick, Beth, Morgaline, the doorknob... sparks fly. Every single time.
The character of Josef hasn't had much in the way of character development so far, although JD has managed, with a couple well-placed hand gestures and eyebrow raises, to suggest much more than what we've seen to date. I'm hoping that as the season progresses, we'll learn a little more about where Josef came from and why he and Mick are so drawn to each other. (Pencils down, slashers.) Moonlight hasn't gotten a full-season pickup yet, though, and Lord knows what the writers' strike will do for its chances, but I am praying mighty hard that we get to keep it around for a nice long while. I mean, Jason Dohring as a vampire. What in the world could be any hotter?
Are you sure?
Last chance to turn back!
Billie Piper returns! SQUEE!
Oh, my god, the angst will be overwhelming.
Who can say what is it that makes us connect with certain shows? It's difficult to come up with any hard and fast rules, after all, people are themselves varied so it makes sense that each person finds something different in each show and each genre to draw them in. But I think it can be safely stated that science fiction and fantasy often produce (or even the more broad title, "cult" shows) more rabid fans because people long to escape. These types of shows take you to new worlds, new places, let your imagination run free blah blah insert cliche here. But, still, it's true. Star Trek may have been the first. But for me, it was Firefly.
Now, let's get one thing straight. I heart Joss Whedon. I belong to a meetup group where we get together once a month and geek out. I'll attend special fan events and other similar stuff. But I don't dress up, or pretend that I actually live in the Firefly universe, or create elaborate shrines to Firefly in my house. If that's your bag, awesome, bully for you. But I do draw a line. I prefer to keep my geekdom internal. Or at least, vaguely hidden beneath a surface of normality.
What's my point? Actually, I'm not sure. All I know is, when reading this essay by Nathan Fillion, (excerpted from Jane Espenson's new book, "Serenity Found: More Unauthorized Essays on Joss Whedon's Firefly Universe") it made me emotional. Which then made me feel partly embarrassed for getting emotional over something like this (just a tv show, right?), but also so privileged that everyone involved with Firefly worked so hard to make this show for people like me, a fan. I'll let Nathan put it into words:
It was only a short time, but Firefly changed me. It changed my whole life. Rotten it’s over? Sure. Regrets? No. No way. What happened, happened. Anything bitter made everything else all the sweeter. I fought the good fight. I was a part of something that resonated with people, and still does.
And here's a bonus interview with Jane Espenson. Enjoy.
Monday, November 26, 2007
I find it hard to believe that so many people loooooooove the music on the Weather Channel that they are willing to plop down $14 for a CD of the best of the WC's "smooth jazz." But check out the product description:
"A great gift for The Weather Channel's fans who enjoy the smooth jazz sounds played during Local on the 8's. The twelve song collection features the channel's most requested music by well-know artists..."
So this is a great gift for those Weather Channel "fans." Whomever they may be. But not me. Got it?
Friday, November 23, 2007
Dad: Unnerving. Somebody who could be so messed up ...
Mom: Real world, there are people like him, messed up. Serial killer.
Dad: Like, what's his name? He used to eat them.
Me: Jeffery Dahmer?
Dad: Dom-mer! Dom-mer! He used to cook people and eat them.
Me: I'm not sure he cooked them.
Mom: How did he eat them? Raw?
The conversation degenerated from there. Basically, this is not your grandmother's crime drama. It's easy to get behind a vigilante who tracks down the bad guy and then turns him over to the proper authorities (see Batman and The Pretender). We can even accept someone who seeks justice when the proper authorities fail (see Punisher and Firefly/Serenity). But a hero who kills people because he can't help himself, because he actually enjoys it? Never plays in Poughkeepsie. It doesn't help that Michael C. Hall is creepy as hell.
Dexter, pictured here relaxing at home.
Although, it really works for him. I'm sure his creepiness factor helped land him his first major television role as a repressed funeral home director on Six Feet Under. The rest of the casting on Dexter is similarly spot-on. From Dexter's ambitious sister Debra (Jennifer Cooper) and his insecure almost-lover Rita (Julie Benz) to his colleague/bully Sgt. Doakes (Erik King).
Debra, looking inappropriately adorable for a police officer.
Rita, with her abusive ex-boyfriend - kidding!
Doakes, in a PSA about the dangers of alcohol.
My only complaints were that the writing was, at times, simplistic (a lot of telling instead of showing, especially in the Dexter/Harry flashbacks) and the characterization was a bit spotty (especially Lt. Laguerta - if she wants to get with Dexter so badly, why is she such a bitch to his sister?). Still, an overall strong start for a series, and it intrigued me enough to drop disc one right back in the mail. Whether the rest of the season lives up to the show's promise (at least for me) remains to be seen.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
I'll admit I added the hat, clothes and "pirate ship" backdrop in a highly diverting game from the BBC website called Pudsey's Makeover. But don't let the innocent "O" face fool you. Beneath that polka-dot head bandage/eye patch lurks a soul of blackest evil. I can just tell.
Pudsey's watching. He's always watching.
Still, even Pudsey has his moments. He and Children In Need are the reason we get adorable Doctor Who specials like "Time Crash." Warning: the following contains spoilers for the DW season three finale. Which some of us own on DVD (happy dance!).
The video begs the question ... who is your Doctor? I decided that Christopher Eccleston will always be my Doctor Who, while David Tennant will always be my D.W.I.L.F.
Don't look at me like that - you were thinking it, too.
*Isn't British spelling adorable??
(followed shortly by)
If you watched, you know what I mean. So, Tim Kring is forgiven for almost everything because Bennett survived. Bennet lives!
Here is some Heroes goodness, an interview with Hayden P. (if y'all think I am looking how to spell her last name you have severely underestimated my laziness) and Kristen Bell. They are the cutest things ever. And follow this link to get to the blog on of one of the shows' producers, who posts the cutest pictures of the cast.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
*in the voice of Michael Palin* And so, television writers set out on their search to find the DVD proceeds of which the Old Man had spoken in Scene 24. Beyond the Thanksgiving holiday, they met with major studio execs, and there was much rejoicing from the
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
It's been a hard week thus far here at tvsluts. The weather has cooled down finally and the leaves have begun to turn, but daylight savings means that it's dark when I leave for work and dark when I get home...and that's just depressing. But the thing that kept me going all day, even when I wanted to bang my forehead on the desk, was knowing that tonight I would get spend time with my secret girlfriend of the week, a.k.a. Kristin Chenoweth, a.k.a. Olive on Pushing Daisies. I mean, come on. The smile! The hair! The voice! Those boobs! Seriously, girl has some slammin cleavage. And she's so wee!
I guess I first noticed her when she appeared in the television version of The Music Man with Matthew Broderick and DAMN girl could sing. And then she popped up on The West Wing as Leo's girl friday. But it was the Wicked soundtrack and her turn as Galinda that really won me over. Sometimes, when I'm having a rough day, I'll put it on my Ipod and sing along and pretend that Kristin is teaching me how to be popular and talk to boys. And then I feel better! And then I feel sad that my life is so lame.
But! As the waitress Olive on Pushing Daisies, I get my weekly dose of Kristin (and her boobs) along with the best new show of the season. She's got great comic timing, uses her diminutive size to her advantage within a scene, and just adds some spice and sass to the show's pie-flavored goodness! While Ned and Chuck are the center of the show, I can't help but root for Olive to end up with Ned. Partly because I always root for the underdog, and partly because I just want Kristin's character to have her dreams come true. And then she'll be free to drop by and give me popularity lessons. Because if anyone seems nice to do it, it would be her.
Check out this pic with her and my other favorite Kristen, Kristen Bell from Veronica Mars. I think my computer just exploded from the hotness.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
If you think you won't be able to relate to the meerkats, you are dead wrong. It's easy to anthropomorphize these creatures who stand on two legs, live in family groups and sometimes even exhibit altruistic behavior. Besides, they are sooooooooooooo cute!
This is another show with a killer website. You can even catch full episodes online! So go ahead - take the meerkats for a spin.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Today I've chosen to squee about Burn Notice. An attractive yet emotionally stunted protagonist? Check. Feisty love interest? Check. Goofy sidekick? Check. Fast-paced adventure with just the right combination of espionage and explosions? Double check. Basically, this show hits all my buttons. If only there were a zany, chain-smoking mother in the mix, it would be perfect.
Burn Notice, have you been reading my diary?
Revisiting my summer fling with this quirky spy drama from the USA network will be just the thing to get me through the winter of TV writer's discontent. The cast includes some of my favorite faces - Jeffrey Donovan (aka Kyle from The Pretender), Seth Peterson (aka Robbie from Providence), and Bruce Campbell (aka the most famous chin in Hollywood). The setting of sunny Miami is perfect for the vivid cinematography (read: bright colors!) that make me love this network. But don't let it's shiny packaging fool you - at the heart of this show is Michael's innate sense of the human character. He isn't a spy because he can smile toothily, shoot a gun or build a bomb out of detergent, soda cans and duct tape. He's a spy because he can get in your head and mess you up.
The duct tape stuff is pretty cool, too. Michael's running commentary to explain his tricks makes the spy trade seem both easy and fun. Yes, I realize that I could not become an international woman of mystery using only products found in my local hardware store. But Burn Notice makes me think I can, and that's the real measure of any television show - how much the audience buys into the fantasy. Also, the extras available on the show's website are great fun.
Friday, November 09, 2007
Picture this: Maggie Cats, a young girl of 11 or 12. Her big brother, who has influenced her tv watching in the past, most notably with Star Trek: The Next Generation, comes home and says, "this guy at school told me about this show on some cable channel called Mystery Science or something." Sometime in the next couple months, young Maggie and her brother are flipping through channels early one morning (and I mean EARLY), and find some old movie with three dark silhouettes of people on top of it on the new (to them) cable channel, Comedy Central. We had found Mystery Science Theatre 3000 (MST3K), and the world would never be the same.
If you have seen this show you love it and you know exactly what I mean when I say it's genius. If you have never heard of it, you are thinking to yourself, "what the hell is she talking about?" To briefly summarize:
In the not-too-distant future-
Next Sunday A.D.-
There was a guy named Joel,
Not too different from you or me.
He worked at Gizmonic Institute,
Just another face in a red jumpsuit.
He did a good job cleaning up the place,
But his bosses didn't like him
So they shot him into space.
We'll send him cheesy movies,
The worst we can find.
He'll have to sit and watch them all,
And we'll monitor his mind.
Now keep in mind Joel can't control
Where the movies begin or end
Because he used those special parts
To make his robot friends.
Robot Roll Call:
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes
and other science facts (la la la),
Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax
For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"
So basically Joel, and later Mike, and their robot friends watch terrible movies and crack wise about them. And it is THE FUNNIEST SHOW OF ALL TIME.
And according to the link above, they are coming back! WITH JOEL! AND THE ORIGINAL ROBOTS! AND I HAVE TO WRITE IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I AM SO EXCITED.
But seriously, this show was completely formative for my snarkiness and this news is so exciting. And Tom Servo's little slinky arms are just so freakin cute. So if you haven't seen the show go rent MST3K: The Movie, and you'll understand what I am talking about. So! Exciting!
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Ok, so usually I pick some virile young thing to be the SBotW. But we here at tvsluts are 1) lovers of tv and 2) sluts, which means we do not discriminate based on age, color, creed, religion, or heck, gender (secret girlfriend of the week, y'all?). Anyhoo, this week's secret boyfriend is none other than Jim Beaver, a.k.a. Bobby from Supernatural.
He wears a trucker hat like nobody else (suck it, Ashton), and he will not hesitate to bitch-slap Dean or Sam should the need arise. As it often does. Because while they are pretty, they are often really really dumb. So Bobby has become something of a surrogate father to the brothers and also occasionally fulfills the Giles role of Captain Exposition.
So Bobby basically kicks all kind of ass. And I have been making my way through Deadwood, and Jim Beaver as Ellsworth is just so cool I can't even tell you. Watch for a blog post in the future about Deadwood, but just know that he has delivered a performance that will break your heart, build it back up, and break it all over again.
Also, I just think he's cute. So shoot me.
Part of the charm of Tim Kring's science fiction cum prime time television series is a certain level of WTF'ery. There are moments in Heroes that just make you sit up and say, "what the f*ck just happened here?!?" From the revelation that HRG is actually Claire's father to Niki injecting herself full of the power-stealing virus, these super freaks always keep us guessing. And that's how it should be – the twists are the reason I tune in every week.
This season, however, has become almost hopelessly convoluted. Don't mistake me – I love every minute of it. It just becomes difficult to keep track of a character's motivations when the lines of good/ evil/ up/ down/ black/ white/ mayonnaise/ mustard are continually blurred. For example …
At first, Claire seemed to take the whole In Hiding From Big Bad Company thing seriously. She kept her head down, sacrificing her raison d'être (cheer leading) for the sake of her family. Then she meets a boy! Claire's body is changing, and she starts to feel new … urges. Oh wait, wrong show. Anyway, with West by her side she's not only willing to exercise her abilities; she uses them to exact petty revenge on her school rival. I can understand that her powers are a part of who she is, and it's not in her to ever be 'ordinary' again. But come on, all for the sake of some guy – especially a whiny douche like West? Poor form, Claire. Poor form.
"I love you like most people love their sense of self-preservation."
Mohinder, for some reason, decided to team up with Mr. Bennet to take down The Company. As soon as Molly gets sick, however, he runs right to them. "I didn't know where else to take her." How about anywhere but into the bad guy's lair?!? Who's your baby-sitter – Angela Petrelli? And then, in a truly shocking turn of events, he dobs Mr. Bennet in to Bob, perhaps in order to feel less "morally gray." *sigh* I love you, 'Hinder, but when you talk it kind of ruins things for me.
So pretty. So dumb.
They said 'amnesia,' Peter, not 'brain transplant.' First he agreed to commit crimes for the sake of his Identity Inna Box. Then he decides not to open said box, in favor of sucking face with some random Irish chick (hello, Stockholm syndrome much?). All of a sudden she's his One True Love, and they fly into the future together. Actually, I mostly feel sorry for Caitlin. You meet a cute shirtless guy, you clean some blood off of him, and you think he might be The One. Then BAM! He manifests all these bizarre powers and leaves you stranded in a dystopic future, probably to die of some horrible flesh-eating virus. On the other hand, she should have known better than to follow some stranger/emo kid halfway across the world.
"Eh. It was this, or tend bar fer tha rest o' me life."
The Wonder Twins looked like nice kids, and I could really relate to Maya's inability to stop killing people. Stay strong, sister! Enter Sylar and, by some sort of Evil Osmosis, Maya starts making some rather questionable decisions. She goes from sobbing about killing a couple gross smugglers who were about to molest her (and, granted, a truckful of fellow illegals-to-be) to slaying an entire border patrol without looking back. Yet, given the extreme stress of her situation (and, Maggie would want me to mention, Sylar's extreme hotness) I'm willing to let this one slide. For now. Keep an eye on her, Alejandro – Maya's on notice.
This one's for you, Maggie Cats.
Of course, some of the characters this season are both conflicted and beautifully consistent. Take Hiro (but you bring him right back!) – he knows he should not fall in love with the sword smith's daughter, that he should return to the future and let the past alone. But he does fall for her, and he stays in the past, and he completely screws over the entire world by unleashing the Wrath of
Sark Kensei Adam upon us all. You could argue that he couldn't have known the ultimate outcome of his actions, but he knew what he was doing was wrong. Seeing as it's Hiro, I'm going to give him a pass. Accidental evil committed in the name of love? Oh, go on then.
Really, I'm not going to hold any of this against them – I'm fully prepared to accept and enjoy all the WTF'ery. Because I love these characters. Because this show is awesome. And because morally gray is the new black.
Friday, November 02, 2007
No resolution was reached by the deadline, so it looks like the Writer's Guild of America strike is a go. Okay, so this won't really affect me for a couple of weeks, as I'm not a fan of either Daytime (um, hello, work?) or Late Night (um, hello, sleep?) television.
On the other hand - The Daily Show, y'all. The Colbert Report. Now where am I going to get my news and opinions? CNN and rational thought? No, thank you.
Of course, as a writer myself, I can't help but wonder if this is all an elaborate scheme to get more free time for NaNoWriMo.
Just kidding, TV writers! I take back every disparaging remark, every sarcastic blog entry, every eye roll! Please don't leave me.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Is it just me, or do these two look insanely huggable?
After six seasons of Scrubs, you'd think I'd have had my fill of neurotic narrators who combine entirely egocentric world views with often depressing lacks of self-esteem. Apparently not. And while John Dorian's rambling voiceovers eventually become preachy and overdone, Justin's interjections are both quirky and poignant, without being heavy-handed. Of course the series is still young and, due to it's content and setting (race relations and Smalltown USA, respectively), it runs the risk of descending into after-school special territory.
A Very Special Episode? Oh, dear God, no.
The acting is so good, though. Everyone in this series is a parody (the overbearing mother, the vapid teenage daughter, the well-meaning but ultimately feckless father) and yet each character comes across as authentic, and likeable. That's more than chemistry. That's alchemy. I have a feeling that these boys could taken the most leaden of plots and make it into television gold.
And Raja! Oh, I could write odes about this guy. Sonnets! Epic poems of adulation and joy! *ahem* I'll restrain myself to saying, I dig this kid. Religious people are often depicted at best as kooks and at worst, zealots. But Raja has a quiet dignity that, to me, speaks of the inner peace that true faith brings. And at the same time, he isn't so holier-than-thou that he won't play Dishsoap-dispenser Drums to accompany your Parasol Guitar every once in a while.
Oh, yeah. They're cool.
Finally, I love the relationship between Justin and Raja. They're both outsiders, but it goes beyond that. Raja's steadfastness makes Justin a better person. Justin's flakiness reminds Raja that, hey, they're still just kids. And I'm looking forward to watching them grow up.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
How it's wacky and whimsical...beautiful and charming...and that its slick, colorful exterior serves as a great contrast to the black humor that shoots through its core. But blah blah blah whatever. Because the show is just fun. Watching it makes me grin like a fool. Handgun cozies? Petting your dog with a stick? Bursting into song in the middle of a pie shop? Sisters who used to have a synchronized swimming team called the Darling Mermaid Darlings? Kissing through saran wrap? I'm hooked. Say no more. I'm on board.
Say what you want...the show is hard to categorize no matter how you slice it. I suppose you could describe it as an adult fary-tale/crime procedural. And a comedy. And a drama. And a musical. See what I mean about being hard to categorize? But, again, it's just so fun! It's like a group of fun though slightly insane people got together and said, "you know what? Let's make a show that is just awesome." And Pushing Daisies was the result.
While the plots are often meandering, and often make...how shall I say, no sense, it's not a case of style over substance. Ned's central problem, his inability to touch (or connect) with the wider world around him is applicable to all of us. Although, to be fair, our wider world doesn't appear in such vivid technicolor as Ned's. Which makes his inability to truly fit in with the wonderland around him even sadder. I have a feeling the moral of the story will be something along the lines of closing ourselves off from those around us never works out. Or it could just be that pie is awesome. Because whenever I watch this show, I want pie. As in, NOW.
For those of you with a taste of the macabre, surely you are familiar with David Lynch's frightening and yet awesome tv series, Twin Peaks. And if you have watched Twin Peaks, you know about BOB. The malevolent spirit who delights in possessing people and making them perform unspeakable atrocities has got to be THE scariest tv character of all time. Here's a pic:
Now, according to tv legend, Frank Silva (the portrayer of BOB) worked on the set of Twin Peaks as a set dresser and his reflection from a mirror was caught on film. David Lynch, who has got to be one of the weirdest people ever, was so struck by the OMGSOSCARYiness of it, that he wrote the character BOB and hired Frank Silva to portray him.
The moment captured in the picture above comes from the show's Pilot, when the audience first caught a glimpse of BOB as he was seen crouched behind a bed during a hallucination/vision of Laura Palmer's mother. I think I can say with a certain degree of definitiveness that from that moment on, BOB because the scariest character in television EVER. Disagree? The you probably haven't seen Twin Peaks.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Good location (as demonstrated by the eighteen gratuitous aerial shots per episode to remind you that OMFG THEY ARE IN CARDIFF!). Good production values. Good creative team (Russell T. Davies is a Golden God). Good actors.
Back row: Dopey, Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy, Bashful
Foreground: Sneezy? OK, so the metaphor falls apart a bit.
He sure as hell isn't Doc.
A friend asked me why I watch this show, when I clearly don’t like it. Let me clarify – I love watching Torchwood. Maggie and I derive great pleasure from mocking everything that is said and done in what passes for Torchwood’s plot. And there’s always a (microscopic) chance that something that happens in this atrocity may be important in future episodes of Doctor Who. And heaven forbid we miss a single obscure DW reference.
The worst of it is the characters. Owen is a douche. Ianto is an emo kid. Tosh is completely spineless. Gwen is too fucking naïve to live. And Jack – Jack in Doctor Who is LOVE, but Jack in Torchwood is kind of an irredeemable bastard. And they can’t seem to stay out of each other’s pants long enough to do much actual work.
Tosh: Hi, guys! I have this thing to show you –
Gwen (thinking): Can’t she see we’re busy having eye sex?
Owen (thinking): Mmmm, I loved it when Gwen dressed me up and called me ‘mummy.’ I wonder if Rhys would be into a threesome.
Tosh: *rips off telepathy necklace* Ugh, I think I’m going to be sick.
Ianto: So … now that we’re putting our dead colleague’s body back in the freezer, I think this would be a great time to suddenly stop crying about my dead girlfriend and proposition my boss.
Jack: Oh yeah, baby, the way you click that stopwatch really turns me on!
Suzie: Um, hello? I’m laying right here.
Jack: You can watch.
Suzie: I’d rather die. Oh, wait …
The only redeeming qualities of Torchwood:
1. Cap’n Jack Hotness. His suspenders-and-overcoat combination is ridiculous … ly adorable!
2. Plot continuity, and the occasional well-designed plot twist. These include:
- Cap’n Jack can never die because Rose resurrected him.
- The severed hand? Totally the Doctor’s!
- Suzie killing herself was all part of Her Evil Plan. And you know Russell T. Davies thought of that shit, too.
“OMFG, I WAS IN CARDIFF!”
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
Maggie: HELLS YES! Shall we chat during commercials?
*random squee-age re: Chuck and Doctor Who*
Sri: OMFG HEROES IN 8 MINUTES! Wait - limited commercial interruption? I should pee now ... be right back.
Maggie: It's time! I hope Sylar is in the premiere. But probably not.
Sri: Ha, maybe.
Maggie: Also ... SHUT UP MOHINDER!
Sri: Hey, that's my man you're talkin' about.
Maggie: Tim Kring, quit it with the voice-overs.
Sri: I was hoping those would fall off second season.
Maggie: I love Nathan calling his mom evil. I cheered.
Sri: But that was so mean! Even if she is evil.
Maggie: It was awesome. And someone is hunting the old guard.
Sri: She's going to die!
Maggie: And that will be awesome!
Maggie: Aw, I missed Hiro.
Sri: YATTA! You know that was a shout-out to all the fan girls.
Maggie: Maybe Hiro is learning something bad ass from Sark, and he's hunting [the old guard] down.
Sri: Oh, poor Molly! That shit would give anyone nightmares. And why did [Matt's wife] divorce him?
Maggie: Because she is dumb.
Sri: For real!
Maggie: Greg Grunberg is love. And, gotta say, recovering from FOUR BULLETS IN THE CHEST after only four months is pretty bad ass.
*random squee-age re: The Office and ... John Stamos?*
Maggie: Um. Hate [Nathan's] beard. But it makes me miss Claude.
Sri: Yes. That beard is clearly the devil. It looks like it's eating his face.
*later, but on a related note*
Maggie (upon seeing the random fake Irishmen): Heh, I like their accents. "Turd" row back ... it's totally Peter inside.
Sri: HE GOT A HAIRCUT! LOVE!
Maggie: "I don't remember?" LAME. Amnesia is so last year.
Sri: Indeed. But I love the new 'do. Sad thing is ... it looks like Peter's hair migrated to Nathan's face.
Sri: And it's super power is looking disgusting.
Sri: *gasp* Matt/Mohinder OTP!
Maggie: And a million fan fics were born.
Maggie: They moved in together? This show is so gay.
Sri: In a good way.
Maggie: Sylar is going to be pissed when he comes back and finds out Mohinder has been cheating on him ...
Sri: And, incidentally, when an 8 year-old is the Voice of Reason, you know you're in trouble.
Sri: Ha, Claire's got a new androgynous boyfriend.
Maggie: He ... annoys me.
Sri: Yeah. That whole "robots vs aliens" thing is kind of insulting.
Maggie: I think he is going for 'adorkably charming' but it's coming off 'ass hat.'
*later, there is flying and peeking into young girls' windows*
Maggie: Awesome! But still ... CLANG CLANG SKETCH ALERT.
Maggie (about the Cheerleading Challenge): There is an easier solution to this problem. Martha says 'fuck off!' and walks away.
Sri: I'd be like, 'NO, BITCH! Back the hell off and die!' ... this is why I was unpopular in high school.
Maggie: David Anders is so smokin'. Also, you should never meet your hero.
Sri: OH NO HE DIDN'T! Smokin' or no, punching Hiro is not cool. Besides, I bet the legends of Takezo Kensei are actually based on the swordsmith's daughter. But since Japanese culture was so patriarchal, they couldn't deal with her being a woman.
Maggie: So there were like, 'let's make it the drunk white dude!'
Sri: Mr. Bennet is going to kill his manager and hide the body where no one will ever find it. So much for being 'invisible.'
Maggie: Mr. Muggles 4 EVAH!
Sri: I like the EXTREME GUILT CLOSE-UPS!!
Maggie: For the lying liars who lie.
Sri: I love Lyle's look of utter confusion.
Maggie: ... and terror. Like, SOMEONE ANSWER HER, PLEASE!
Sri: OMFG Mohinder's cheating on Sylar - again! Mr. Bennet, I expected more from you.
Maggie: Mohinder is such a slut.
Sri: F*cking shave, Nathan, and maybe I'll be able to stand the sight of you.
Maggie: I don't think Nathan could look sketchier if he tried.
Sri: Oh, nast. Looks even worse in the bar mirror.
Maggie (in the attitude of one reunited with her long-lost love): SYLAR! Nice shirt.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Once upon a time there were two friends named Maggie and Caroline. Maggie was awesome and Caroline was just all right. They got addicted to television and started a kickass blog that their hero Jacob even posted on (!!!!!). Then, Caroline got a job that sucked out her soul and left her a lifeless shell. And THEN she met this totally awesome dude who took away what little time she had for tv watching. And so Caroline never updated the blog. Maggie responsed by reminding and cajoling. When that didn't work, she engaged in a silent cold war with Caroline to see who would update the blog first. It was a silent cold war because Caroline didn't know it was going on. So then nobody updated anything. But then! Maggie's friend was like, "Ho, why don't you update your tv blog?" And Maggie was all, "Because." So Selvi volunteered to post on the blog with Maggie! So meet your new poster, Selvi Sri. Maybe we can shame Caroline into watching some television again.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
He’s the mumbly, kind of shy, star quarterback of Dillon High School’s football team on Friday Night Lights, and he managed to steal my heart from the first time I laid eyes on him. I defy any woman to watch him sing to his addled Grandmother and tuck her in for the night and not want to bed him immediately. And that’s ok, because I’m pretty sure the actor is really in his early 20s and not in his teens. He holds the Panthers together with his quiet, strong leadership, and it doesn’t hurt that is his best friend, Landry, is made of awesome. Here are some of my fav Matt moments (please, note…I didn’t start watching FNL until around episode 6, so I am sure there are great moments from the beginning of the season I missed):
-Matt calms down his grandmother who has locked herself in a closet by singing to her and pretending to be his grandfather (his grandmother is very loveable, but not quite right).
-Matt calls out his Dad (who has recently returned from Iraq) for being a selfish dick.
-Matt begs Julie to join his powderpuff football team. His quiet, “please?” just about broke my heart.
-Matt looks at the camera and lets me see his pretty pretty face.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Words cannot express my love for Tim Gunn. Even my Mom knows it; when I drove up her driveway yesterday, she burst out the front door (in curlers no less) and shouted, “Tim Gunn is on Oprah…hurry!” Of course, I rushed inside and watched Tim Gunn and Bobbi Brown (the makeup maven, not the singer *shudder*) perform miraculous makeovers on normal women. So imagine my delight when I found this article from Entertainment Weekly noting that not only will Tim be returning for Project Runway 4, but he will have his own show on Bravo, AND will have his own book in May 2007. Which I am so pre-ordering right now from Amazon. But in sad news, he will be leaving Parsons and becoming the head of Liz Claiborne’s clothing line. Which, good for you Tim, but if I was a student at Parson’s, I would demand half my tuition money back. Finally, how awesome is that Tim's nickname is "the silver fox?" So dashing!
Note: I know there has been a significant delay in posting lately, mostly due to my laptop deciding to explode. I try not to post from work, but I can see that is no longer feasible. So check daily for updates!
Monday, January 08, 2007
Also check him out in Jake 2.0, a defunct UPN show now airing on the Sci-Fi channel on Fridays. God Bless the Sci-Fi channel. Although his hair on that show was kinda fug. Check it:
Not his finest moment. Again, I ask. What is with the cute guys and bad hair on tv?? I do hope he hooks up with the cute dorky doctor girl though. And yes I know this show aired three years ago. It's still new to me and I am living spoiler free!