Apologies, all - I'm behind in the True Blood recaps. The first of two this week, summarizing the two most recent episodes. We're definitely moving into the second half of the season with this one as shit is starting to go down and we even lose a (mostly) major character. Without further ado...
Because there’s never a time when this show doesn’t like to
start us directly in the middle of the action, we begin this time with
Lafayette (who, you’ll remember, is possessed by the ghost of Sookie’s father)
attempting to drown Sookie in a river to finish what he planned on doing all
those years ago – kill her before she could be taken by vampires. True Blood logic, everybody! Anyway, Ben
saves her before anything can happen and forces Mr. Stackhouse out of Lafayette
with his faerie light. GhostDad was hoping for a nice reunion but he pretty
much ruined that. Sookie tells Lafayette to tell him to get out of her life
forever. So basically she’s doing the same thing all girls say to their fathers
at some point, it’s just delayed by about ten years post-puberty. And, you
know, drowning.
"Just saying. Father of the Year Award nomination? Off the table."
In VampireDome, Eric and Pam prepare to stare at each
other to death. Pam is none too pleased that Eric sired another vampire, but
puts that aside to help Eric kill the guards who are watching the room with
their guns and seriously freaking out the Gov, Sarah and Steve Newlin who are
watching. Take Away Message here: don’t pit Eric and Pam against each other. Bitches will
literally eviscerate you.
Bill/Lilith is calling Ben to him/her. Sookie transports her
and Ben to the magic faerie dimension that looks like it was shot through a
1970s gauze filter to keep them safe.
Bill, unable to bring Ben to him, gets his professor in the basement to
drain him of almost all his blood in order to force a hallucinatory meeting
with Lilith.
Jason, pursing a long line of unfortunate choices, is in the
VTF recruiting office where he comes on a little strong even for these folk,
expressing a significant desire to “fuck these fucking fangers up.” “Why don’t
I just go through the interview checklist first,” the recruiter offers. Either
way it goes well with Jason providing a litany of what he knows about vampires
and the recruiter meeting eagerness in kind and deciding to fetch his
supervisor for approval. “Racist fucks,” Jason mutters under his breath as the
recruiter walks away.
You know what would be awesome? More time away from the
Sam/Nicole plotline. Unfortunately, we’ve got more of it. Nicole wants Sam to
face up to who he is, stop running away with Emma, blah blah blah. Sam is
doubtful. Yuck. At any rate, Alcide finds his father in the motel that Sam and
Nicole are staying in. Pops and one of the “were-bitches” have been, ahem,
passing the time but tell him where to find Sam and Nicole. Alcide HULKSMASHs
his way into their room, but Sam and Nicole have gone already.
In the faerie realm, Ben tells Sookie that he needs her to
restrain him before the sun sets so that he won’t hurt her. Sookie complies,
using vines and her magic light to tie him down. Ben meanwhile expresses regret
that Sookie had to find out about what her parents were planning. The touching
reconciliation could go farther, but he starts to vamp out.
This is so going to go in an S&M-y direction, isn’t it?
Andy Bellefleur has a talk with his surviving daughter who
is about ready for a real name, especially because being called Number Four is
kind of an uncomfortable reminder about what happened to the other three. He
decides to give her the name Adilyn Braelin Charlene Danica, one name for each
sister.
Lafayette is trying to recover from his possession-a-thon
with the best way he knows how – copious drugs and crafting.
For realz.
He’s
interrupted by Terry, who appears shaken (we know why) and gives Lafayette the
key to his safety deposit box. Lafayette, rightly, knows something’s up but
accepts the key and a very awkward hug from Terry. He also calls Arlene to let
her know that her husband is wicked unstable. Arlene panics, worried that Terry
will try to kill himself out of guilt from the war. Holly suggests using a
vampire to glamour Terry into forgetting about what happened in Iraq, perhaps
asking her son’s friend’s dad’s husband who is a vampire. “He owes me one,” she
tells Arlene, picking up the phone to call before adding in a conspiratorial
whisper, “they’re gay!” And see, True
Blood, when you write shit like this it makes me want to fall in love with
you all over again.
Sookie is getting the low-down from Ben – he was born in
3532 BC, turned in 3500 BC and he’s been waiting for her the entire time. Uh
huh. “So, how did you think this was going to go?” Sookie asks, pointing out
that showing up with a contract roughly 6,500 years after becoming a vampire
and demanding that she be his faerie bride may not go over like gangbusters and
you’d think six thousand years of planning would have yielded something a
little more graceful. Like flowers and a box of chocolates, or something. Ben
tells her that the contract was arranged in the 17th century, but
he’ll tear it up if she wants him to. He despises that Lilith made him a
vampire and if Sookie was with him, it would be okay because with Sookie also a
faerie vampire, they’d only need each other’s blood.
At the VampCamp, the Gov is getting smug over Eric being put
to the True Death. He brings in Nora as a bargaining chip, saying he’ll kill
her to make Eric understand what it feels like to lose someone close to him
like the Gov feels now that Eric has “killed” Willa. The Gov’s scientist inject
Willa with something they call “Hepatitis V”, which can be spread sexually, hence
all that experimental vampire lab sex. They leave them both chained and facing
each other.
I really wanted this scientists to have a fake stereotypical German accent, but alas. He was American.
Bill, through the help of blood loss, is able to meet with
Lilith who tells him that The Tyrant took Jessica and “The Blonde” took their
salvation and basically Bill is the biggest disappointment she’s seen which,
given her age, you have to admit is saying something. Lilith warns him not to
come to her again and instead he needs to grow a pair, man up and act.
Sam meanwhile has called Martha, Emma’s grandmother, to come
get her provided that she’ll be kept safe from the Pack. Martha tells Sam that
she’s left the Pack and seems genuinely grateful. Sam says what is probably
supposed to be a heart-rending goodbye to Emma, but honestly since we’ve only
spent like three minutes of screen-time on these two together this season, it’s
hard to muster the tears. Later, Alcide catches up with them and gets pissed to
see that Emma has already been taken away. Sam calls Alcide out, tells him to
stop being a dick or come at him already. Alcide tells Sam to leave town if he
knows what’s good for him and that Alcide may not kill Sam, but he won’t stop
his pack from doing it.
Arlene and Holly welcome in the gay vampire (conservatively,
but fashionably dressed, btw) to hypnotize Terry. Arlene asks the vampire to
ensure that Terry remembers nothing about the war and only remembers his family
and his civilian life. Finally, a life of happiness and contentment can be theirs!
"I'm sure our long-fought struggle for emotional and familial stability will in no way be undermined by actions one of us has taken without consulting the other."
Jason is regaling the VTF with his war stories about
Rambo-ing the Authority last season when Sarah enters the room. Jason admits to
her privately that he’s getting Jessica out and if she tattles on him, he’ll
reveal her secrets as well. Willa, meanwhile, demands that her father put her
with the rest of the vampires instead of solitary, despite the Gov’s insistence
that she needs to be kept safe so that they can “fix” her.
As Bill rejoins the land of the somewhat living, news hits
that the Gov has made an agreement with the makers of True Blood to start up
production again. Bill fears time has run out and swallows Ben’s blood,
allowing him to go outside in the daylight for the first time in 150 years.
In creepy emotionally abusive news, Sarah Newlin isn’t about
to take Jason’s threats laying down. Unlike everything else of his that she’s
taken in that position. (hey-o!) She arranges for Jason to observe the
vampire’s “copulation study” process from behind a one-way mirror. Naturally,
one of the two subjects is Jessica. Her “study partner” is just as squicked
out, insisting that he’s a vampire, not a rapist. He is hit with bursts of
sunlight for protesting. Jessica sobs and tells him just to have sex with her
to spare him, but the vampire with the heart of gold refuses. Sarah orders
Jessica removed from the room.
At Merlotte’s Bar and Grill, Terry has a new lease on life
and Arlene couldn’t be happier. Life is good! Terry gleefully going about his
job, cleaning up the kitchen and taking the trash out. Which is when the shot
rings out. Arlene runs outside to see Terry shot through the neck and bleeding
out on the ground. She holds Terry to her as Terry slowly dies in her arms.
Okay, I know I said I was tired of this plot last time, but man. Harsh.
Damn. That's cold, brah.
The Gov is conducting a dramatic reading of the Bible when
Bill invades his compound, wooden bullets flying right through him without
harming him. Bill uses his new abilities to make all the guards shoot each
other and demands that Gov tell him about the room where all the vampires are
executed by the sunlight. The Gov doesn’t want to play, refusing information
and saying that Bill killing him will just turn him into a martyr for the
cause. “Cut off my head and another grows in its place,” the Gov warns. Bill
decides to take his chances…and literally rips the Gov’s head off.
"Alas, poor Yorrick..."
Nora isn’t looking too good, the Hep V disease working into
her system. Eric summons Willa from the common room, who glamours the pervy
guard who tried to her to blow him last time into taking her to the room Eric and Nora are being held. Eric
and Nora dress in guard and doctor clothes and pretend to take Willa hostage in
order to flee the facility, but Willa insists they get Tara and Jessica as
well. In the search, Eric discovers that the facility is the True Blood
bottling plant and that the scientists have been contaminating the new True
Blood supply with Hep V.
In the spirit of truthful things, Sookie is still talking
with Ben and confessing that she knows that everyone in town thinks she is “a
danger whore.” Ben snarks that he’s had the same problem, why do you think he
lived alone for thousands of years? Sookie wonders if they’re right, given that
she’s developed feelings for Ben and she’s at least finally aware that she’s
got a pattern going. Then, to prove the point, she offers her blood to Ben,
knowing he needs to feed. Him biting her leads to her biting him which leads to
her removing Ben’s pants which leads the hot sweaty sexytime. As the two grind
each other, they both begin to glow.
Offered without comment.
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