Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Like a Woman Scorned and Melted Into a Pile of Goo


Hey folks. It's your promised second recap of True Blood this week. Think we're all caught up now. Enjoy!

TL;DR: Eric and Nora escape the camp, however Nora's caught the Hep V. Eric begs for Bill's help, but turns out nothing can be done. Hail and farewell, Nora. Sarah Newlin proves the old "power corrupts" adage is true, although in her case she was always a little corrupt to begin with. She seizes control of the Gov's operations. Arlene gets wasted drunk to cope with Terry's death. Sookie returns to our dimension after her FaerieGlowSexathon with Ben. Jessica thanks the vampire who didn't rape her by having sex with him a lot. 

Recap: It’s another day in the VampCamp/True Blood poison factory and Eric, Nora (who’s been infected with Hep V) and Willa are desperate to get out of it.  Willa goes to grab Tara and Pam while Eric and Nora try to escape through the True Blood plant. The guards, however, are onto them and have sounded the alarm. Thankfully, one of those guards is Jason, still undercover and swearing up a storm. Eric and Nora hide under a shipping truck that’s leaving the facility and make a run for freedom.  Willa, disguised as a doctor, finds Pam and warns her not to drink any True Blood because of the contamination. Pam says they should only tell Tara and Jessica, arguing that if every vamp in the camp suddenly stops drinking the True Blood, the guards will know they’re onto them. Hey, she didn’t get to be over 100 by being nice, you know. Eric brings a rapidly worsening Nora to Bill and begs him to help. Nora refuses Bill’s blood, knowing that it’s actually Lilith’s, even if it means she dies.

Sarah Newlin is in her car listening to her favorite book on tape (“Elocution Classes for Spreading the Gospel, Chapter Three: Drop One Octave and Repeat.”) when she arrives at the Governor’s mansion to see all the guards gone and the front door open. She turns off the audio lesson (“When speaking, remember to be strong, but not assertive.”) and makes her way to the courtyard where Bill has thoughtfully left the Gov’s head resting near a marble statue. Sarah melodramatically breaks down in front of the carnage before deeming it “part of God’s plan” and swearing vengeance, kind of like a really bigoted overly-religious Batman.

“Vampers are a superstitious, cowardly lot.”

Later, Sarah has called a Senator to the Gov’ mansion to enlist his support against the vampire cause. The Senator would like to help, but remember how there’s this whole chain of succession thing in government and the Lt. Governor is now clearly going to take control. “I am not letting that RINO with his folksy bullshit come anywhere near this office,” Sarah assures him, cooking up a plan to hide the Gov’s death from the public and use the Senator’s people who are well-practiced at hiding the Senator’s “seedy lifestyle” from the public eye to help. (Flashback: the Senator, we remember, was carrying on a closeted sexual relationship with Lafayette back in season 1 and apparently the staff member who has accompanied him to this meeting has taken over the…ahem…duties.) They will say that the Gov was attacked by the vampires and is now governing from an undisclosed location, leaving Sarah and the Senator to govern in his place.

"I have old fashioned views about what two people should do after their love making due to the last time I did it was with a vampire demon lady about 6,000 years ago. Now when do we kill a wild boar?"

In MagicFaerieLand, naked Sookie! Naked Ben/Warlow! Naked nakedness being all naked in the naked afterglow. Ben in particular is looking forward to all the wedding stuff that is about to come. “You don’t think just because we had sex it means I’m going to marry you?” Sookie asks. She’s about to explain to him how modern, liberated women can have all the monster sex they like without needing to be carried over some kind of threshold when she suddenly is able to hear Arlene sobbing over Terry’s freshly dug grave. Sookie transports herself back, leaving Ben in the safety of the FaerieAfterglowSexLand. Arriving at the cemetery back in our world, Sookie comforts Arlene as Arlene tells her how Terry died.

Sam hears from Lafayette via a phone call about Terry before deciding to go back to Bon Temps despite the danger to himself from the Pack. He tells Nicole to keep running and stay safe, but he has to go back for Terry, right after he takes this conveniently sexy shower. Nicole, not one to be held back by a person she barely knows mourning his lost friend, joins him.

Back at the Bellefleur house, Arlene takes her anger out on Lafayette as he hands over the key to Terry’s safety deposit box. Andy helps to calm her down and goes with her to tell the kids. Sookie and Lafayette decide to open the safety deposit box and find an envelope with Arlene’s name on it containing a life insurance policy issued three days ago. They realize that Terry knew what was coming.

Inside the VampCamp, Jason has Jessica, who hasn’t realized he was undercover, brought to him in private.  He promises to get her out, but she fatalistically tells him that he can’t keep her safe all the time, although she would like to thank James, the other vampire who wouldn’t rape her, face to face, if Jason can bring him to her.

Alcide drops his father off back at his trailer. Pops tells Alcide about some property that just opened up next to his place that Alcide could take if he agreed not to go back to the Pack. Alcide says he has responsibilities, but his father tells him that neither of them are made for Pack life.

"Dad, I've betrayed all semblance of consistency so far this season. Do you really think I'm the right person to take out a property mortgage in this housing market?"

Nicole’s mother has arrived to pick her up at the hotel, which has to be awkward given that she’s found her daughter at a cheap motel with a strange man, but she seems to take it well. Makes you wonder how often she and Nicole have been in this position. Nicole tells Sam that she won’t tell anyone about him being a shifter and gives him her home number, asking him to call.

Jason brings James who, to his credit, is a little weirded out to Jessica. Jessica tells Jason she can’t thank him enough, but she needs some private time with the new guy. Alone, she tells James that when she arrived in the camp, she was convinced that she was a monster for killing Andy’s daughters, but his kindness helped her to see otherwise. Turns out for his good deeds, the doctors ripped out his fangs. Jessica tells James about the Hep V in the True Blood and tells him not to drink it when they offer. James waxes philosophical about much more he wishes he could do with his life, which is ironic considering the whole mortality thing. Moved by the spirit of Things We’ll Never Get to Do, Jessica confesses that she’s never had sex with a vampire, only humans. Convenient, huh? (In fairness, she tells him what’s so attractive about him is how, even as a vampire, his humanity has shone through, which isn’t something that she’s ever seen with the vampires she’s been with, which might be the first subtle thing True Blood has done so far this season.)

Don’t worry. The subtlety is followed by this. 

At Bill’s, Eric tries once again to get Bill to save Nora’s life, saying that he believes Bill has become divine and maybe possibly God. Bill tells Eric about his visions of the future he’s been having, including the one about the room where all the vampires die. Bill tells Eric they need Warlow’s blood, which is what’s letting Bill walk around in the daylight, if they’re going to save all the others. Eric promises to help, if Bill gives Nora his blood. Bill agrees, but Nora is unimproved. Eric concludes that Warlow’s blood may be Nora’s last chance.

Sookie and Lafayette bring the insurance policy to Arlene who is managing her misery the best way possible – with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a PBR in the other. “I’m better,” she tells Sookie, slurring all the way. “Before it was like someone was scalping my brain away one slice at a time and plucking out my heart with a crab fork. But now, thanks to this, it just feels like someone’s crushing my windpipe.” Now’s not the best time to go over the policy, clearly. Of course, the real victim here is Adilyn, who by her own thoughts, is having something of a weird day. Sookie, however, can hear her and communicates telepathically before Holly’s teenage sons arrive. Know what could make this day even more awkward than the drug waitress grieving over her dead husband while being comforted by a twice-possessed gay medium in the kitchen and a couple of half-faeries in the sitting room? That’s right, teenage crushes. Stay away from her, punks - she'll be menopausal before you can even get to first base. 

But don’t worry, it’s going to get worse as Bill arrives right in the daylight. “Oh holy fuck,” Sookie sums up the situation nicely. Bill is there to offer his condolences to Arlene since Terry was technically his great-great-great-great-great-great-whatever grand nephew. Arlene is not at her best right now and it takes her a few minutes to comprehend that Bill is afoot in daylight. Bill offers more condolences to Terry, saying that his firstborn also died back before the Civil War so he knows there’s no greater pain. “Except for losing three,” Andy appropriately snarks.  But we’ve established Bill isn’t really here for the niceties, he wants to know about Adilyn. The tension and melodrama is getting a bit much and Lafayette heads for the door, muttering “I’m glad I remembered to take my beta-blockers.”

Everything about this image is amazing. 

Bill asks to talk to Sookie directly, ex to ex. He asks Sookie to let him have Warlow so he can save his progeny, which btw includes Tara and Jessica, two friends of Sookie’s. Bill tells her about the VampCamp and says they need Warlow in order to save everyone.

Speaking of which, back at the camp Pam has re-entered her therapy sessions. The Shrink wants to know why she doesn’t want to eat. Pam, playing up his discomfort, tells him it’s because she’s horny instead, not unsubtly unbuttoning her jumpsuit and reminding him of her sexual appetitites. “I was a whore in my human life,” she tells him, using the literal use of the word whore. “It wasn’t a coincidence.” The Shrink admits being very…um…interested in her specific sexual knowledge as a vampire and the next three minutes are ridiculous levels of double entendre moving rapidly to just single entendre as Pam agrees to sex in exchange for something she wants.

"No, seriously. I got paid for it. Let's not go thinking this means something, yeah?"

Sarah finds Jason in the hallway. She tells him that the Governor is dead and so is his influence and has his arm cut open and thrown into the women’s common room, which just happens to be full of starving lady vampires. Normally an entire room of women drooling for Jason’s body would be kind of like his ultimate turn on, but understandably, this time it’s different. Tara puts herself between the women and Jason, but the real day is saved when the vampire who saved Tara and Jessica a few episodes calls them all off, telling them “Ladies, he’s mine.”

Alcide, meanwhile, comes back to the Pack and tells them that Sam and Nicole have been killed and Emma returned to her grandmother. Nice try, Alcide. Too bad the “were-bitches” were a step ahead of you and have already captured Nicole and her mother.

Eric prays to Godric, his and Nora’s dead sire, in an attempt to save Nora. In the process, he remembers London in 1665 when he was sent by the King of England to fetch down a paramour of his who, naturally, happened to be Nora. Nora was tending the plague dead of London when she contracted the disease herself. Eric, impressed by her courage even that close to the end of her life, brought her to Godric to be healed and “live fully and forever.” Nora urges Eric to let her go, saying that she has lived fully before literally melting into a pile of gore in Eric’s arms as Bill watches. 

DO NOT WANT!!!

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