Friday, March 20, 2009

God save the Kings, Part II

After watching half of the Kings series premiere, Maggie and I called it a night ... only to be greeted in the morning with somewhat depressing news.
"Despite generally positive reviews, with some calling the project the most original new drama of the season, "Kings" (6 million viewers, 1.6 preliminary adults 18-49 rating and 4 share) was the lowest-rated program between 8 and 11 p.m. on a major broadcast network." --James Hibberd of Reuters (link to full text)
Still, Cats and I would not be deterred! Personally, I love an underdog and so the fact that Kings had a slow start only made me love it more. I'm perverse that way.

Other ways in which I'm perverse
(aka when is a douche no longer a douche?)
Sri: OMFG!
Maggie: is [the prince] gay??
holy crap!
me: YES!
Maggie: OMG, if Ian MsShane was in my face like that I would so pass out
Sri: awwwwwwww, he can't be a gay king
suddenly, i love him
Maggie: he's still a douche
Sri: yeah
but now he has to be my favorite character
Maggie: i bet perry [the scribe] and the prince get it on
me: i dig that [the king] has a scribe
Maggie: they should have made the princess gay
that would have been awesome

Worst. Ice cream flavor. Ever.
*the princess yammers on about ashes of the city and ice cream trucks*
Sri: did you get to the ice cream truck?
Maggie: yes
and the ashes
human will
blah blah
Sri: ha
Maggie: that is a crappy metaphor
but I do like ice cream
Sri: ashes ice cream? worst ben & jerry's flavor EVER
Maggie: I would eat it if it was flavored with the ashes of my enemies

I'm a pretty, pretty princess!

Whores and puppies.
*King Silas drives out to the suburbs into a strange woman's home*
Maggie: who is this ho?
Sri: probably she's an actual ho
Maggie: that's why i said it
Sri: which is why [the king] couldn't marry her
she looks too young for him
Maggie: illegitimate children!
me: i know!!!
Maggie: the plot thickens
i wonder if he's mormon
Sri: he called the kid "puppy" ...?
this is how it's going to go down: jack will try to play it straight, no no avail - he'll come out / be outed, and the king will try to force him aside and name his bastard as his heir - we, as the audience, will feel conflicted about who to root for

Sarita Choudhury as "Helen" ... home girl represent! Kinda.

"Every-damn-body is giving me back sass today!" - King Silas
Maggie: oooh, don't talk back to the king
Sri: i know
Maggie: srsly, way over-reaching kiddo
Sri: there's folksy, and then there's just plain dumb
Maggie: oooh, I love him
Ian McShane, not david
that was AWESOME
i am clapping my hands with fiendish glee
trust you to root for the guy threatening people

And then things get ridiculously poetic.
*David walks up to the front lines and starts monologue-ing*
Maggie: ok, that's ballsy
oh, so poetic
Sri: i know, right?
SUPER poetic
like, ridiculously poetic
Maggie: ok, not feeling this
he should have said this to the King
Sri: he went from folksy to emo in, like, six minutes
Maggie: ok, there is no way they could hear him
inside the tank, "what the hell is that blond kid yelling at us?"
"Eh, just shoot him"
Sri: LOL
Maggie: they are too busy eating their warm entrees to listen
Sri: i love how the commander of the army is like, "ok, had enough of this - sniper that mofo!"
Maggie: seriously, this is a little too melodramatic for me
and with the oooooo-ing in the background
Sri: i know!
Maggie: I hope that's Tom Sellek
with the mustache
Sri: lol
no it's not
Maggie: bummer
Tom Sellek makes everything better

Is there a dermatologist in the house? (aka we are easily distracted)
Maggie: seriously, watching this on HD, I feel like I could crawl into the crags in [King Silas'] face and camp out
it's awesome
Maggie: david has a lot of moles
i hope he gets regular dermatological check-ups
skin cancer is no laughing matter
later (in other distraction news)...
Sri: awww, eli is gonna bite it … though his teeth are really clean
Maggie: they should have smeared some blood on them or something

Can you roll just one eye?
Sri: (as David) loooook - it's a butterfly!
Maggie: *rolls eye
can you roll just one eye?
Sri: NO
not unless you have a neurological condition
Maggie: living crown of butterflies!
Sri: LOL
it's god giving [David] His blessing
Maggie: that was....odd
Sri: how can you tell that you're wearing a crown of butterflies?
i mean, it's not like you'd feel it
Maggie: maybe he has a neurological condition and can roll one eye and check

Final thoughts
Maggie: i liked it!
the second half was much more enjoyable with the various twists
Sri: i think this has the potential to become a fan favorite

The whole fam damnily. We're rooting for ya!


Maggie Cats said...

I find it so wrong that re-reading this caused my to crack up. Because, you know, I was actually there for the real thing.

Maybe I am just easily amused. By MYSELF.

Monkey Sri said...

Maggie: so how are you going to edit this together with your thoughts?
Sri: yeppers
Maggie: so the post will be one giant LIE
Sri: NO
it will be a reinterpretation of reality that is more pleasing than what actually happened
Maggie: nice