OMG YOU GUYS.

Buckle in, friends -- it just got AMAZING. Seriously, The Ringer just released the best casting news ever. Better than Britney on HIMYM that one time. Better than Linda Hamilton as Chuck's mom. Better than Khal Drogo, y'all.

What on earth, you ask, could be better than having Buffy back on my TV?

ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE BUFFY'S CO-STAR LOGAN ECHOLLS.

In case you hadn't already cleared your calendars and stocked up on popcorn for The Ringer, which premieres on the CW in a mere two weeks (!!), I hereby give you Exhibit A: Jason Dohring.

(via)

Now, it's no secret that we here at TV Sluts love us some Jason Dohring. So the mere promise of getting to watch him work his magic would be enough to lure me in. But add in SMG, secret twins, Manhattan socialites, and Nestor Carbonell as a shady FBI agent? As Chandler would say, could there BE any more reasons to watch this show??*

Seriously, y'all. Tune in. Tuesdays, CW, 9pm. We can't let him get away again!


*I mean, maybe if Scully showed up?

Friendship really is magic!

OK, hear me out on this one... My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

WAIT, COME BACK! This is totally legit, y'all. For reals. For serious.

Anyone who's anyone on the internet knows that this show has soared in popularity on the wings of a meme - oh, 4chan. I will never, ever, ever visit you. My favorite manifestation of MLP-madness is the "brony," e.g. a macho "bro" who enjoys this show. I would have never watched it (psst, the entirety of season one is currently available on YouTube), except to find out what the bronies were all raving about.

In many ways, MLP is a classic kids show - adorably anthropomorphic animals deliver morals and lessons direct to your doorstep! Somehow, this show does more. I think the good people at TV Tropes say it best: "[MLP] is a rare example of how to update a retro cartoon the right way: with clever self-aware humor, a more streamlined art style, and strong characterization." If you've seen even a bit of the original series (which was little more than an extended commercial - take that, Pokemon, we had the idea first!) you'd never expect the update to be as good as it is.

Not to mention the hilarious little extras,
like the pony fandom has dubbed "Dr. Whooves!"

Honestly, though, I should have expected as much from the brilliant Lauren Faust - she of Powerpuff Girls and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends fame. Although skeptical at first of taking on MLP, Faust realized it was an opportunity to prove "cartoons for girls don't have to be a puddle of smooshy, cutesy-wootsy, goody-two-shoeness." And that's what really draws me in - I've previously bemoaned female stereotypes in cartoons, and the need for more interesting and diverse characterization. Ms. Faust, have you been reading my diary?

For more information, read this article by Faust on the Ms. magazine blog - My Little NON-Homophobic, NON-Racist, NON-Smart-Shaming Pony: A Rebuttal. Yeah, apparently someone went there. This is why we can't have nice things.

I know, Fluttershy. I know.

Space Nerds Rejoice! Cosmos is Returning!

In which guest blogger Jayowolf tries to pretend he is as nerdy as me. Bitch, please.

--

As strange as it sounds, Fox announced plans last week to order 13 new episodes of the classic science program Cosmos. Only they want Seth MacFarlane to take over for the show’s original progenitor/talking head Carl Sagan. Wait, what?

It’s true, Carl Sagan and Seth MacFarlane don’t really occupy the same space. One man is a progressive visionary who’s ideas about using television to explain his wonky and sometimes almost un-relatable brain works all the while to some wicked cheesy music. The other is Carl Sagan. [rimshot – hooray for cheap jokes!] But in this case, MacFarlane has been pretty enthusiastic about taking on the classic early 1980s science miniseries about the creation of the universe and what it means for mankind. Per his statement to the New York Times:

“We’re obsessed with angels and vampires and whatnot,” Mr. MacFarlane, 37, said in a telephone interview, “when there are many more exciting and very real and much more spectacular things to be excited about, that are right in our own planetary backyard.”

Unconfirmed early production stills suggest a more whimsical approach to the show this time around

Full confession, I was a huge fan of the original Cosmos series. It’s pretty much what got me interested in science fiction and shows and movies about space travel to begin with. The miniseries used what was, at the time, cutting edge special effects to show just how massive the universe was and in the process how utterly fantastic creation could actually be. It truly exemplified the adage about truth being stranger than fiction by illustrating very clearly and concisely how incredible the universe is and how limited our knowledge of it can be. And while the special effects really, really don’t hold up (not to mention the music), I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited to see this series updated.

Seriously. It was mostly just Carl Sagan on a Barcalounger that was supposed to be flying through space.

The thing about the original series, however, isn’t that it was Carl Sagan being his nerdy, astronomical self and just assuming that the rest of the country was as interested in pulsars and quasars as he was. Cosmos was made in the late 1970s and aired in 1980, at exactly the same time the world was staring down the very real possibility of an escalating Cold War that could turn into nuclear holocaust pretty quick. Cosmos was very intentionally made to try to help pull the world back from that brink – Sagan’s idea was that if humanity could get a clearer view of where we fit into the entirety of existence, it might help cooler heads to take their fingers off those red buttons. Science is sometimes rightfully accused of being obtuse and inaccessible, but this show was science at its most beautiful; used not just to inform, but to move.

Cosmos was unabashedly optimistic, despite all the immediate evidence in the world at that time pointing to a particularly pessimistic future. If that sounds like a similar environment to what we’re experiencing now, I suspect that may be part of the motivation for bringing the series back.

Done correctly, programs like Cosmos can literally remake how we think of ourselves and the universe we live in. At a time when it doesn’t feel like the world is on the right track, it is the ultimate way to encourage a view of the bigger picture. There is no stronger argument for creative thinking then allowing people to really wonder at how vast yet interconnected the universe is. More importantly, at least from my memory, it is also a powerful way to encourage people to think differently. If there’s a stronger way to tell a young kid that the universe is vast and limited only by his young perception of it and thereby encourage him not to just follow the path in front of him but look for others as well, I don’t know what it is.

Curiosity Killed the Bible

Last Sunday, The Discovery Channel debuted their latest program: Curiosity. You can't claim that the program isn't ambitious; each episode tackles one the "big" questions of science, technology, and culture. For example, the first episode asks the question, "Did God Create the Universe?"

See? When the Discovery Channel does something, they certainly don't half-ass it.

Next week's question is "Alien Invasion: Are We Ready?" Spoiler alert: NO. Please. If a civilization that had achieved space travel came to Earth and decided they wanted it, they would so just kill us. Just saying.

Oh, right the show. I really enjoyed the first episode. Every episode has a celebrity host and the first one was hosted by Stephen "Motherfucking" Hawking (with a little help from the new Sherlock Holmes, Benedict Cumberbatch). The episode started out with tracing the history of astronomy and when it got to current theories went waaaaaaaaaaay back in time to the Big Bang and what started it.

Another spoiler alert: the show (well, Stephen Hawking) concludes that God doesn't exist. Sorry, guys (cue the sad trombone). Let me see if I can sum this up. Basically, right before the Big Bang, all the matter, energy, and space in the universe was compressed to a infinitesimally small single point, like a black hole. It was so dense in there that time itself did not exist. And if there was not time, there was no God.

I know, right? This is some heavy stuff. But that's just Stephen Hawking's opinion. He once recommended a restaurant to me and I thought it was terrible so you have to take his ideas with a grain of salt.

The show and the content are fascinating and the production values are stellar. There are awesome special effects and graphics, and the difficult concepts are explained well for a layman, but not substantially dumbed down. You need to pay attention, but I am such a nerd I was kind of riveted. And the celebrity hosts are easy on the ears.

So tune in this Sunday to find out how badly mankind will get its ass kicked by the aliens! Curiosity airs Sunday evenings at 8:00pm EST on The Discovery Channel.

Where's your god now? Oh, wait...

Television’s Favorite Gingers: Special Birthday Edition!

Guest blogger Jayowolf is back again, with more gingery goodness!

--

If you listened at all to public radio last week, you likely noticed amongst all the talk from the nation's elitist cultured chattering classes that Lucille Ball's 100th birthday was August 6th. The Queen of both comedy and "B" movies (seriously, she was an early scream queen in the Fay Wray tradition) left an impact on entertainment that we're still feeling today.

It's hard to overstate how significant Ball's career was. Most of modern television only operates the way it does because of her ideas for how to film a television show in a way that would be seen as new and different. I Love Lucy was the first show ever to end its run at the top of the Nielsen ratings. It was also the first show to provide a profitable business model for running a show in syndication, proving that re-runs of a show could still generate money. It was the first one shot on 35mm film, the first to use the now-standard three-camera set up, and the first one ever (yes, EVER) filmed in front of a live studio audience, establishing the gold standard for sit-coms for the next 50 years.

Much is made today about cracks in the glass ceiling and it's frankly kind of shocking to realize how many of those cracks were first made by Ball. She was the first woman to run a studio independently. Even though she initially partnered with her husband, Desi Arnaz, once they divorced she not only bought out his stake in the production company but remained as studio head. Every time a modern female producer steps into her office and contemplates the pile of scripts in front of her, she is really only echoing what Lucille Ball accomplished 50 years earlier.

Also, she's hiding chocolates in her mouth. Because that's what women do.

The irony of watching Ball's signature character, the somewhat hapless and zany housewife Lucy Ricardo, is that most of what the character was guilty of doing the actress behind it was pulling off amazingly. For every joke about how horrible Lucy the character was with money, Lucy the woman was running one of America's most profitable institutions. Desilu Productions is responsible for some of the most popular and profitable sitcoms in TV history, including The Dick Van Dyke Show, The Andy Griffith Show, and My Three Sons.

They also didn't stop at sitcoms. Do your television tastes skew more toward the thrilling action adventure hour? Desilu was the producer for Mission: Impossible. For your language requirement in college, did you study Klingon? Thank Desilu; they produced Star Trek when no one else would take the show. Also get help – no one needs to be fluent in Klingon.

Finally, this. Just because.

But because the Network giveth and the Network taketh away, it's also fair to credit Ball with being the first network axman. Under her leadership, Desilu only produced shows that she believed would capture long-term interest from an American audience. Which means the shows that weren't performing up to her standards ran serious risk of being cancelled perhaps quicker than they would be under other production companies. Every "brilliant but cancelled" show that you've complained about/missed/blogged ad nauseum over owes part of its death, at least spiritually, to Ball's keen sense of giving the public what it wanted over taking too many artistic chances.

Ball was fond of saying that you couldn't teach someone comedy; it was something that a person either had or lacked. The jury is still out on whether or not the same is true for business and executive acumen (rumor has it both our current president and the guy who had the job before him both have differing opinions on the subject) but Lucille Ball's success in both arenas certainly suggests that she pretty much always had the upper hand with us, even if her characters made us believe otherwise.

Thunder cats HOOOOOOOOOOO!

Well, everything you've heard is true: Cartoon Network has created a new Thundercats. But here's the good news--it doesn't suck and is in fact awesome and better than the original.

Speaking of the original, I definitely watched it, but there's not a lot I remember about it. Here's all I can piece together from the far reaches of my brain:

A bunch of cat people crash-land on a planet in a spaceship. They are:

Lion-O: steroidal whiny man-child

Tigra: DOUCHE

Cheetara: hot babe

Panthro: badass

Snarf: MOST ANNOYING CHARACTER IN THE HISTORY OF ANIMATION

Oh, and there's also a bunch of lizards and some creepy blue evil wizard dude. And of course the sword.

My understanding is that the plot of the new series is going to be a bit different (and darker thank goodness). We start in the city of Thundera where the Thundercats have been the ruling species for generations. But the lizards are not happy about this and there are strange rumors about an evil known as Mumm-Ra and "technology". Lion-O is the only one who really believes that these rumors might be true, as the other inhabitants of Thundera are content to be total jerks. Oh, except Cheetarah and this one old cleric dude who encourages Lion-O to believe in himself. I should also mention that Lion-O and Tigra are brothers and both princes of Thundera (as their dad is the King), but Tigra for some reason can't be the heir so Lion-O is the king-in-training. That part is kind of confusing to me.

But, whatever. The plot is not really important here. What is important is that the show has awesome fight and battle scenes (though the premiere draws a bit too heavily from the Lord of the Rings movies) and the quality of the animation and writing is pretty awesome. There's lots to like here and I feel that everything that was great about the original series is even greater and everything that sucked has been improved. Including Snarf. He's gone from the most annoying character in the history of animation to pretty freaking adorable. Mostly because he can't talk.
Hurray!

I'll leave you with a two interesting tidbits about about the new series:

*One of the executive producers was also the producer of Avatar: The Last Airbender

*Larry Kenney (the original voice of Lion-O) is voicing Lion-O and Tigra's father, Claudus. I find that one particularly fun.

Thundercats airs on the Cartoon Network Friday nights at 8:30 EST.

Soul Eater

I know what you are thinking. "What's this? A post about anime that is NOT written by Monkey Sri? Has the world gone mad??"

No, dear readers, the world has not gone mad. The fact of the matter is I, Maggie Cats, have decided to dip my toe into the anime pool.

I admit that until this point I have not been an anime fan. It's not that I don't like it, in fact I have a little previous anime experience...if you think of Robotech, Sailor Moon, and Unico as anime. The truth is that I always felt like you couldn't lightly get into anime; everyone I know who is a fan is a serious fan, you know what I mean? I just never thought I had the time or the patience to get into a whole new fandom.

Recently I decided that was stupid. If I wanted to watch a little bit of anime, I would dammit! So when Netflix recommended that I watch the anime series Soul Eater, I figured why not. And so I gave it a try.

Like most anime, it's a very different story than we are used to and doesn't reply on our Western cultural tropes. Which is honestly, part of the appeal. Briefly: the show is set at the "Death Weapon Meister Academy (DWMA)," and revolves around three teams consisting of a weapon meister (teenager badass) and human weapon (another teenager who can tranform into a badass weapon). Trying to make the latter a "Death Scythe" and thus fit for use by the academy's headmaster, Lord Death, aka The Grim Reaper, they must collect the souls of 99 evil humans and one witch, in that order; otherwise, they will have to start all over again. That's only the very basics of the plot though, the bigger focus is on the DWMA stopping evil witches and demons from spreading madness throughout the world. It's got awesome fight scenes, a bunch of plot surprises and twists, and while some of the characters annoy (mostly the male teenage ones, natch), for the most part it's an exciting, addicting, and really well-made series.

As my first real crack at anime I found it relatively easy to get into the world of the show. A couple things didn't necessarily translate well (boys get bloody noses when they are attracted to someone?? Whatever), and of course many of the women had RIDICULOUSLY large boobs, but the differences are part of the appeal for anime. You never know what to expect, and that is something I really like. Also, the first three episodes were pure set-up and intended to introduce the show's main characters. So if things seem a bit slow at first, stick with it and the plot soon picks way up.

For people who are not really into anime (yet), Soul Eater is a great gateway into the world, and I really recommend the show. The entire series (about 50 some episodes) is available on Netflix.

They may look like kids, but half of them turn into weapons and the other half will kick your face in. Fun for the whole family!

Deadliest Warrior

Why has nobody told me about this show until now? WHY?

It combines three of my favorite things: fighting, awesome weapons, and lots and lots of fake blood. Seriously, this show is the bomb. Sometimes literally.

I am, of course, talking about Spike TV's Deadliest Warrior. The show pits famous warriors (either individuals-- like William the Conqueror--or classes of fighters, such as a Zulu warrior) against each other in a series of tests to see who will come out on top. The results of the various tests are then plugged into a computer simulation program which calculates the deadliest warrior.

The tests that each hypothetical warrior are put through focus on their standard weapons and battle techniques. For example, a recent episode I caught with my Dad and brother pitted a Roman Centurion against an Indian Rajput. Their weapons were categorized by their range capabilities, and various experts took turns whacking at blood-filled mannequins or (also blood-filled) hunks of meat to determine which weapon was most effective. Another episode that pitted the CIA against the KGB combined weapons and strategy, posing a challenge for experts in Cold War weaponry to see who could perform the quickest and most efficient clandestine assassination. Shockingly, the exploding cigar lost. Boo.

So what's the allure of this show? Um, how about the fact that it is completely badass? As someone who was raised on action movies I have a pretty strong bloodthirsty streak, so watching showdowns between history's best and deadliest fighters is pretty awesome. The tests are always fun (if you like seeing mannequins getting hacked limb from limb--and really, who doesn't?) and sometimes the results are surprising. But really this show is entertainment at it's most basic. Violence = fun.

It's just too bad there aren't more female contenders for the Deadliest Warrior. Aside from Joan of Arc I haven't seen the show focus on any women. In that vein, I have come up with a great deathmatch:

Miyamoto Musashi, a Japanese ronin and the most famous swordsman of all time....

VS.

Jane Austen, famed nineteenth century English novelist.

The pen is mightier than the sword, right?

GET IT??

Oh, shut up.

Deadliest Warrior airs on Spike TV pretty much all the time, but the new third season episodes air Wednesday nights at 10pm.

Chloe King....it'll do in a pinch.

I'm just going to say this off the bat: there's never going to be another Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There's no way to recapture that perfect storm of writing, cast, stories, and teenage drama that made Buffy such an amazing ride. And despite it's less than stellar ratings, Buffy has become a true part of American culture. Which of course means that television networks are going to forever try to duplicate it's formula.

You know what I mean: teenage girl (or guy) realizes she/he has superpowers, is part of some great mythical calling, and must become a leader in an ancient war...while at the same time balancing all the facets of what we call "normal" life. School, jobs, love...sometimes those things are harder than kicking the ass of fantastical creatures.

The Nine Lives of Chloe King currently airing on ABC Family is the latest in these Buffy-esque dramas. From wiki (with a little editing for clarity from yours truly):

Chloe King is a teenager who discovers she is a descendant of an ancient race called the Mai. She has special cat-like powers, including nine lives, superhuman speed, strength, hearing, agility, night vision and the ability to extend her nails like cat claws. The Mai once acted as defenders of humans and guardians for Egyptian pharaohs and are descendants of the Egyptian cat-goddess Bastet. Chloe has extra abilities even among the Mai, and her gift of nine lives marks her as the "Uniter," a warrior in a prophecy that states that she must save the world and both the Mai and Human races, and stop their war. She begins training with two other teenage Mai, named Jasmine and Alec, and is being pursued by a shadowy human organization known as The Order, who are trying to destroy all the Mai...especially the Uniter. Of course, she also has her trusty best (human) friends Paul and Amy who help keep her grounded in the "real" world.

The show is harmless fun. The whole cast is likable, especially Chloe, which is a good thing because if she was insufferable the rather lackluster plotting could become a problem. But Chloe, her friends, and her Mom (Amy Pietz--who was hilarious as the Mom on Aliens in America a few years ago) are all interesting and not annoying, which is more than you get from most shows about teenagers.

The Mai themselves are also pretty cool. Chloe picks up her new powers really quickly so there's no waiting for the badassery to start. Basically, she immediately starts kicking bad guy butt. And the concept of her nine lives is pretty interesting too--the show can feel free to kill her off a couple times and she'll bounce back, and it definitely gives a sense of weight to the show. You know going in that the heroine in this show will die. Sure, she'll come back, but when the bad guy wraps her in chains and dumps her in a pool of water there's real tension that she could actually drown horribly.

And of course there's romance. Mai can't get together with humans--even a kiss from a Mai is fatal to a human. So it makes Chloe's burgeoning romance with nice-guy Brian (whose father is connected to the Order) interesting. And hottie Mai Alec is pretty interested in Chloe as well. What's a girl to do? Thankfully, Chloe is not the kind to sit around whining and complaining about her love triangle woes--so far. It's also nice not to have to rehash the whole "I never wanted super powers all I want is a normal life!" plot. For the most part, Chloe is very accepting of her lot, takes to her new powers with relish, and despite the danger that accompanies her new role as the Uniter (both to herself and her family), seems to enjoy being a superhero.

For those looking for some mindless summer fun, I would definitely recommend The Nine Lives of Chloe King. Cool fights scenes, an interesting premise, and likable characters more than make up for the unclear (so far) back story and vague menace of the Big Bad. You can find the episodes that have already aired online or on On Demand, and check out the show Tuesday nights at 9:00 on AMC Family.

Spies Like Us (And We Like Spies)

Burn Notice is a summer series currently in its fifth season. I've so far watched through a good chunk of the third season. The premise is basic (and outlined for you at the start of every episode). Michael Westen used to be a spy for the US Government. However, someone, somehow, made it look like he'd done some very bad things. Spies don't get fired or retired. They get burned. He is dumped in Miami with no money, no credit history, no connections, and no way to leave (this last bit they never really explain well; apparently, the nebulous "they" are willing to let him live, but will kill him if he leaves). He has to get by on little more than the skills and training he received as a spy.

And his sunglasses. Seriously, they deserve billing.

The show's main weakness is the fact that it is incredibly formulaic. Almost without exception, the show starts with Michael coming up with a step in his grand plan towards the goal of this particular season. This plan will be referenced a few times throughout the episode. At the end of the episode, he takes the step forward in his plan. Meantime, he will someone stumble across a "Client". This is typically a normal, law-abiding citizen who has somehow attracted the displeasure of some crime syndicate or other. It will usually seem to be very minor at the start, and rapidly develop into a much larger problem than it first appeared. At the end, Michael saves the day.

Personally, I really like the formula, which is why I keep watching. But I cannot in good conscience recommend this show to anyone, because if that one method of doing things isn't something you'll want to watch over and over again, you will rapidly get bored. There are many cosmetic changes. Each season's over-arching plot is usually somewhat riveting. Sometimes he connects with the Client himself, and sometimes it's a favor he does for one of his teammates, either the paper-manipulating former Navy Seal Sam, or the Picasso-with-explosives Irish terrorist girlfriend Fiona, or his chain-smoking passive-aggressive hypochondriac mother. Bad guys will recur, sometimes an asset on one job will come back later and be a client. It tends to the fairy-tale ending side of things, but it gets fairly dark.

This woman spawns spies. And emphysema.

The selling point, to me, is the tricky mechanical stuff they do. Anyone besides the few main characters will get a super when they are introduced each episode, and they're good at making these funny. They will split the screen to show Michael trying to pick the lock and escape unnoticed while the bad guy walks down the corridor towards him. They have some of the most effective use of voice-over I've ever seen.

In short, it's worth watching a few episodes. You might find yourself hooked, and watch it for a while. Just don't expect it to ever change.

The Lights will always be on for me.

Tomorrow night, Friday Night Lights airs its last episode. EVER. And today the creators/actors/crew of the show got a nice thank you: an Emmy nomination for best drama series. Sure, that nomination has been 5 years in the making (and don't even get me started on all the years Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton were snubbed), but hey, better late than never right?

When I read the nominations over at EW.com this morning, and saw FNL's nomination, I literally gasped, yelled "Oh my god! I am so happy!" and did a little dance in my seat. At my desk. AT WORK. And I didn't care who saw or heard me, because dammit, this show is awesome.

I'm not going to rehash everything I have said about the show in the past (the realistic depiction of small town (and everywhere) life, relationships between family and friends, the excitement of the football--ok maybe I will rehash it) and the show has been the topic of 11 blog posts in the past. That seems like a lot, but I am always trying my darndest to get people to watch it. The fact that it's lasted this long is really a miracle and represents the only instance in recent memory I can think of where a network kept a show around because it was good. The ratings were never that great, and the splitting of the cost with DirecTV was definitely a help, but say what you want with NBC--they did right by us with this one.

If you haven't seen it before, wow, are you behind. But on the other hand, you get to sit down with 5 amazing seasons of one of the best dramas on television (NOT exaggerating on that one) and enjoy it. And for that I am a little jealous. You get to experience it all for the first time, without worrying about cancellation, schedule changes, and all the usual television bullshit.

So here is what I recommend. Some Friday evening in late September and early October, when a light breeze carries a hint of fall and the excitement of high school football and dreams, curl up on your couch and give Friday Night Lights a chance. I promise you won't be disappointed.

And remember: clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.

ETA: Check out this awesome article sent to me from Alexis and Jamie at work. An Oral History of Friday Night Lights, courtesy of Grantland. It has a couple plot spoilers, so beware!

...in which Caroline and Maggie Cats discuss The Killing

I may be a little late to the party, but I tend to get there eventually. After languishing on my DVR for several months, I finally got around to watching the first season of AMC's murder mystery The Killing. There was some, shall we say, controversy surrounding the season finale, and that was what finally got me off my butt to watch the show. Caroline had some strong feelings following the finale, so she and I kicked it old school style (like we used to back in the day) with some gchat blogging.

Fair warning: we discuss some minor spoilers of the first season and the structure of the finale. If you're likely to watch the show (although the moral of the story is basically: don't) you might want to steer clear of this one.

caroline: what i thought about The Killing's first season finale: FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. Seriously, i was so mad i nearly threw the remote at the TV.

me: what was it that pissed you off? the lack of definitive resolution to Rosie's murder? I had heard grumblings from people about the finale, so I was prepared to not find out who the actual killer was when I watched it.

caroline: well, i have had some time to think about what exactly it was that made me so HULK SMASH and i think that primarily (as everyone else on the entire internet also said) it was that the promise of the pilot and the first couple of episodes was just so thoroughly destroyed by the time we got to the season finale, that i just wanted to know who killed her OMG. The characters that initially seemed so promisingly complex just turned into a bunch of flimsy collections of characteristics without an actual cohesive center, if that makes any sense

me: that was something else I was going to ask you; to me, the show let down on the promise of the premiere in terms of quality, and by the end it was kind of a mess.

caroline: oh, it was a complete disaster.

me: the problem is, it seemed like a planned disaster. It wasn't like LOST, where it felt like it was aimlessly wandering. I got the feeling that the writers thought they were geniuses with all the red herrings but from a viewer standpoint they made it look like the detectives didn't know were they doing for the sake of their story.

caroline: i mean, somebody called Holden and Linder the Keystone Kops, and i could not agree more; talk about slipshod detecting -- it was like the Scooby Gang!

me: I think when they introduced the terrorism subplot they began to lose me.
I was not as pissed about the finale; I thought it was a wasted opportunity, but I think I was prepared to not have resolution on the central murder. And I have to say, when they cut to black I was disappointed because I did want to see what happened next.

caroline: see, i was only watching by that point for some resolution -- to see if, by some miracle, they could tie it all up in the final episode. The thing that made me the most angry, i think, is that they sent the one character i cared about into a total 180 without earning it at all

me: You mean the implication like Holder was a dirty cop?

caroline: the one thing the writers got right was the evolution/redemption of his character...the one thing! And then to just yank the rug out from under that story arc in the last 15 seconds of the show was cheap.

me: I think by watching it all back to back I was better served by that...I found it surprising but not shocking. If that makes sense. I can believe that there is still more going on with him.
I think my central problem with the show is what Tom and Lorenzo refer to as the over-abundance of "misery porn"

caroline: OMG, right?

me: the early episodes with the Larsons were just too much. There is only so much grief a person can take seeing.

caroline: like, some of that is interesting, and definitely a departure from what you normally get with crime procedurals. But when week after week it's just Mitch drowning herself (...heh) in her grief in Rosie's room ... we get it.

me: agreed. Also, the "will Linden leave town" thing was lame. Spoiler alert: SHE'S NOT GOING. She's the main character!

caroline: DUDE. that got old, like, five minutes into the pilot.
(although it did give me a few minutes to wonder if Callum Keith Rennie is secretly the killer. did you see Harper's Island?)

me: heh, I did! That show was more entertaining than The Killing. Make of that what you will

caroline: you are not wrong, lady.

me: so here's the big question: will you come back for Season 2?

caroline: absolutely not. Well: i will read TWOP to see who killed her. But seriously: SO MAD.

me: I think I will check out the premiere...but if it doesn't seem they have learned any lessons it's over.

caroline: fair enough ... but I've read a couple interviews with the creator where she's all, "oh, it's fabulous that everyone hated the ending! It just means they're talking about my show! Proof that my plotting and characterization are impeccable!"

me: Wow. Talk about delusional. It really means people won't watch anymore and you'll get fired! I think the take-away from this its that it's REALLY hard to stretch one murder into an entire season of a tv show without it becoming a meandering over-complicated mess.
Hello, Twin Peaks?

caroline:OMG Twin Peaks. I haven't watched that in a looong time
But. The parallels. They are overwhelming.

me: The Killing has suffered from Twin Peaks syndrome...if you premise an entire show on "
“who killed so and so" people expect you tell them.

caroline: right. Or, at the very least, to give them something else to chew on that distracts them from the part where you don't actually tell them

me: I thought for sure they would reveal the killer in the finale...and then the ripples of Rosie's murder would reveal or lead to another death that would make up season 2. Alas not the case.
Because that seems to be the central conceit of the show...how a killing affects the people involved, no matter how tangental.

caroline: agreed, and that's a very intriguing premise. They just couldn't sustain it

me: so, final thoughts?

caroline: final thoughts. Creative, unusual premise; intensely talented actors. Both of those let down by unfocused, lazy writing and a vast miscalculation of what the viewers wanted and what the story demanded

The Killing: a great show to watch! Assuming you like miserably slow pacing, inconsistent characters, grief porn, and no resolution to WHO ACTUALLY KILLED ROSIE LARSEN.

Awesome Theme Song

... is awesome! This guy named Jason Sturgill recently did an orchestral version of the X-Men theme song. Check it!



I loved this show, mostly because I was convinced my mutant powers would manifest themselves at any given moment. And even though the science is so terrible that it gives me a mild headache, I'm sure X-Men is one of the reasons I work in genetics today. Double true.

BAMF

This post contains spoilers for the first season of Game of Thrones. Including a big honking one that gives away the surprise twist. You have been warned so don't come crying to me if you read it and then regret it.

Wow, I have been sitting on this one for a looooooooooooong time. First, I was like, "oh! This has to to do with Game of Thrones! I should wait until Sean Bean's character dies and then post it because it would make for some delightful juxtaposition." And then I was like, "nah, I should wait until the first season is over when I discuss the season overall."

But I didn't do either of those things. Because I am lazy.

But fear not, gentle readers! Because I have finally gotten around to giving you further proof that Sean Bean is BAMF.

He got stabbed in a fight outside a bar, walked back in, patched himself up, and ordered another drink.

Now I have been a fan of Sean Bean since I was about 11 years old. There I was, innocently watching Masterpiece Theater, and he appeared as the villainous Lovelace in the BBC production of Clarissa. Despite his kidnapping, psychologically torturing, raping (!!), and then abandoning the show's heroine, I was hooked. I followed his career ever since, from the Sharpe movies (just IMDB it if you've never heard of it), to Patriot Games, to The Lord of the Rings, to Game of Thrones. He may be a total "Hey, It's That Guy!" to most Americans, but to me Sean Bean is the shit.

When he was cast as Ned Stark in Game of Thrones I was ecstatic for him because it was such a big step forward in his career (never underestimate the power of a HBO series), but I was also sad. Because as a fan of the Song of Ice and Fire books, I knew Ned Stark was DOOMED from the beginning, and would only be on the first season of the show. And I had to force myself to bite my tongue to keep from wailing as people raved about his performance. It would be too short lived! It's not fair! Maybe they'll depart from the books and Ned will live? Or not.

So here's to you Sean Bean! You keep being awesome, hanging out with models, defending their honor, and shaking off a stab wound. And I'll keep internet-stalking you. Deal?

Mmm...sigh.

Now where will I get my (mis)information?

So, apparently Glenn Beck's show (Fun Times with Uncle Crybaby Newshour or whatever it was called) aired its final episode yesterday. Hooray, this will free him up to enter the GOP candidate race/media whore circus! Please oh please oh please, Palin/Beck 2012. Freedom Isn't Free (TM).

Aaaaanyway, I would never in a million years suggest you expose yourself to the grotesque stream of conspiracy-laden fallacious logic that erupts, unbidden, from Beck's noisy mouth hole. EXCEPT for this one time. Behold, Requiem for a Rodeo Clown by the good folks at Media Matters.

Sucking, but in the True Blood way.

Warning: this post contains discussion of the entire third season and the fourth season premiere of True Blood!

I watched a lot of True Blood today. And when I say a lot, I mean like 10 episodes. First I had to finish my Season 3 rewatch so I'd be all caught up and then I had to (and I mean had to) watch the fourth season premiere.

True Blood isn't for everyone, of course. It's got more violence, gore, sex, and bad language than almost any other show on television. Add to the that vampires, werewolves, shape-shifters, fairies, and witches and it's definitely not everyone's cup of tea. Of course those are also all the reasons that I love it. To me it's a big old addictive tangle of fun.

When I originally watched the third season, I remember thinking that it was a huge hot mess...but that doesn't mean I didn't like it. After my rewatch, I still enjoyed the hell out of it but it was easier to follow the (many) plot threads that wound throughout. But there are a couple things I am hoping the fourth season can sustain/improve upon.

First, I'd like the fourth season to do a better job of making the secondary (and tertiary) characters a part of the bigger plot. Sam, Jason, Jessica, even Lafayette seemed to languish in subplots that were separate from what was going on with Sookie. Second, I am hoping Tara will stop getting shit on by the plot-gods. I mean seriously. How much crap can one person be expected to take? I cheered for her when she left Bon Temps at the end of the third season because she needed a fresh start and to get the hell away from that place. As much as I took a certain sick delight in the character of Franklin (who might be the most fucking crazy person on this show EVER), watching him repeatedly torture and rape Tara made my feel like I was watching one of those Hostel-like movies. Not good for the soul. Finally, I want the show to continue with introducing the hierarchy and politics of the vampires. What is The Authority? Who makes the kings and queens? Basically, I have a lot of questions about the vampires and I want answers dammit.

So how did the fourth season premiere shape-up? In a word: it was great but a little ridiculous at times. But really doesn't that go for the entire show? There were some huge surprises (the fairies aren't all sparkles and light! Bill is the new king of Louisiana!), and hints were laid of the season to come (witches!). We got a glimpse of Tara in her new life in New Orleans as an ultimate fighter and lesbian (!!) and Jason is actually a deputy. God help us.

Of all the shockers, the revelation that the fairies aren't what we were led to believe is, to me at least, the most interesting. My favorite writer over at TWOP, Jacob, wrote a really interesting article about fairies (ney, faeries) over at Smart Pop and I really recommend you check it out. Despite the weirdness of the opening scene from the season premiere, when Sookie and her grandaddy go from fairyworld to Afghanistan and running away from IEDs, it's clear to the audience that our expectations of fairies are going to be completely subverted this season. I say bring it on. And again, that's firmly in the True Blood wheelhouse, and kind of the point.

I was pleasantly surprised the show decided to flash forward a year, it was weird to think that so much had happened in Bon Temps since the show began and yet it had only been about a month in the actual timeline. It was a brilliant move to propel the show forward and allow the characters to develop quickly. Some might call it lazy (as some of the characters will completely change and the writers aren't burdened with the mess of actual storytelling), but I have a feeling this season is going to center around showing us exactly how all these characters ended up where they are.

Oh, and add two more things to my season four wishlist: Sookie and Eric actually get it on (hawt) and more Alcide please!

I mean, really. Don't you want him on your television too?

PS: Just adding one additional comment that I noticed other people had made on some message boards. When Sookie and Grandpa were fleeing the fairy land...yes. It did resemble an old school Star Trek landscape. Who knew fairy land looked so much like Southern California?

Anyone missing Glee as much as I am? No one? Okay, I'll just... be over here, then.

Pic stolen from courtesy of ROFLrazzi. Not safe for work productivity.

Double Dose of Summer Song Competitions

The age of the summer hiatus from new television has ended. With the influx of all things "reality" the summer is a perfect time to start a new hit show. This summer I have permitted two new reality shows into my world. Keep in mind, with reality shows I am always picky. I only begin watching based on word of mouth and only continue watching if they are spectacular! That being said, I have nothing but great things to say about the two summer song competitions I have fallen in love with.


The first is The Glee Project, airing on Oxygen. For those of you who have fallen my ever increasing disdain for Glee, you may be slightly surprised by this. However, the Glee Project personifies all the things I fell in love with Glee in the first place. This show is a singing/ performing competition to win a guest spot on glee. Each episode the kids perform in a team music video. The producer of the show (and glee) choose with the vocal producer and the choreographer who is not performing well and select a bottom three. The bottom three then perform for Ryan Murphy (executive producer for glee) and he chooses one to "not call back." I like this show because its about the music, but also honest in the way Murphy says "I can write for you" or "I just don't see a character coming from you." The kids appear VERY real, and not trained broadway or theatre or even movie actors. Each also REALLY has a personality.


Additionally, I have fallen for Platinum Hit on Bravo. Yet another in the series of cookie cutter reality shows Bravo has released, Platinum Hit is a song writing competition. To be honest, the songs are good and these writers are talented. Two weeks ago I loved a song soo much I downloaded it off of itunes and have been singing it since. It is interesting because the songwriters are decent performers too. It's actually really interesting to watch the creative process of the song. The only week point for me is Jewel, and though I know other people adore her, she seems just so Blah as a host.

I strongly suggest filling you summer void with these two hits!

Franklin & Bash

Well...I know as a contributor I have been lacking, however, my newly developed passion for Franklin & Bash has brought me back to posting. When I first saw Zack Morris was trying yet another law show (I believe this makes 3), I was disappointed. Another flop for Zack :( However, the inclusion of Brekin Meyer lead me to watch.

I was incredibly impressed. Clearly, the plot is simple, two jokester adult teenagers who act as lawyers, winning cases in shockingly immature manners. The writing is reminiscent of early Aron Sorkin. The dialogue is fast paced and generally witty, with a modern geeky technology twist. Both Meyer and Gosselaar (who I will now stop referring to as Morris) are actually great in their roles. Granted they are quite similar to their early 90s immaturity, but it works.

Joining the already 90s powerful cast is Malcolm McDowell as the powerful head attorney who looms power over everyone. Essentially, the same character he plays in entourage, but with a tad more comedy. I am also incredibly impressed by the anti social misfit supporting cast of Kumain Nanjiani (who plays an agrophobic paralegal) and Garcelle Beauvais (who plays the former felon turn legal aid). I would definitely check this show out.

TNT wednesdays at 9pm :)

James Bond: “You’re Doing It Wrong”

Guest Blogger Jays on his favorite cartoon of the moment (borderline NSFW). Filing this under the "cartoon roundup" because... well, because I can.

xoxo
Monkey Sri

--

I don't have a lot of appointment television shows – the rise of online reruns and DVRs has pretty much killed my need to build any kind of a schedule around what's on TV. That said, every now and again a good show crops up that resets that particular urge. The latest example of this for me is Archer.

Sexy, sexy explosions!

Archer is an animated comedy on FX about the missions of the International Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS), specifically agency super spy Sterling Archer. In addition to the rogues gallery of soviet-era ne'er-do-wells and the occasional modern day terrorist, Archer must also contend with his chief rival at the office (and ex-girlfriend) Lana Kane, a variety of office pencil-pushers more concerned with bureaucracy then saving the world, and his boss who also happens to be his inattentive, abrasive and over-sexed alcoholic mother, Malory Archer.

Archer combines the visual style of the 1960s James Bond movies with modern technology (GPS, cell phones) and conventions (the staff is forced to endure sensitivity training) to frankly hilarious result. It's sort of like what would happen if Mad Men took itself less seriously and featured more espionage and stereotypical eastern European super villains. You know, aside from Betty Draper. <Rimshot> In tone, it's a spiritual successor to Arrested Development, both for its irreverent sense of humor and its casting; Arrested Development alums Jessica Walter, Judy Greer and Jeffrey Tambor all play lead characters.

The title character himself is played with dripping nonchalance by H. Jon Benjamin, who also voices the lead in Bob's Burgers. Sterling Archer is renowned as the most dangerous spy in the business, despite being only moderately bright and way more concerned with his own hedonism than with anything else. He also has the unfortunate distinction of having the least threatening codename in the world, "Duchess". We later learn this was the name of his mother's favorite dog. Additional leads are played by Aisha Tyler as Lana Kane, top female agent and light years more competent than Archer but still not as highly recognized as him, and Chris Parnell as nerdy Cyril Figgis, the ISIS Comptroller and Lana's new boyfriend.

The show takes every trope of a classic spy movie and runs so far with it that it ends up in another genre. The James Bond references are intentionally mashed into the more modern dysfunctional family sitcom. And like its predecessors from that oeuvre, the show doesn't shy away from visual sight gags that are intentionally suggestive. The show has yet to meet an entendre that it couldn't double or triple.

Yup. That Photo of Malory and her dog is referencing exactly what you think it is.

Where the show's standard stock in trade really is, however, is the sex. There's no shortage of people talking about it, people having it and people doing weird things with it. Secretary Cheryl makes no secret of the fact that she enjoys asphyxiation and is often drawn with red finger marks around her neck that go uncommented on by her uncomfortable coworkers. HR Director Pam states on many occasions that her goal is to get one of her coworkers to sleep with her and she's not terribly particular on which one. And it's the rare episode that goes by without someone mentioning Sterling Archer's repeated prostitute addiction, courtesy of lines like these:

Archer: Oh my God, Cyril, you killed my hooker!
Cyril: Call girl! She was a call girl!
Archer: No, Cyril – when they're dead, they're just hookers.

And then there's the bondage, which occurs more often than you'd think…

There is actually a point to this scene, but it doesn't end up where you want it to.

Just finishing its second season, Archer has officially been renewed for season three, which will begin next year. Season one is available for instant watch on Netflix.