Doctor Who Season 9: Love It or Leave It

It’s been a while since your TV Sluts have talked much about The Doctor. Having finally finished the latest season of the very long running show, I naturally have thoughts about it. The most recurrent thoughts being, “WTF?”

Season 9 is an odd one. For the most part, it felt to me like slog just to get through. I was, in fact, ready to write off the entire season until the last three episodes came out of nowhere and got unexpectedly amazing. At its worst, the season was trying to be too clever for its own good. At its best, season 9 delivered some cool twists, sent some characters flying, and delivered what is legitimately one of the best episodes of Doctor Who ever made.

Given the dual nature of the season, I’m here to help you figure out which episodes you need to watch and which ones you delete off your DVR queue.  Generally, everything I say will be spoiler-free up until the final three episodes, which are as spoiler-y as can be. As a note, I’m including the most recent Christmas episode, even though it’s technically a part of season 10 because the BBC is just weird. Onward!

Wibbley wobbly coat-y woat-y

Episodes 1 & 2: The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar

Summary: The Doctor discovers that he is inadvertently responsible for making one of his own arch-enemies, Davros, the creator of the Daleks. For two episodes, The Doctor and Davros speechify at each other about their respective lives and deeds. In an almost unrelated story, Clara teams up with Missy to get the Doctor and… do something. It’s never totally clear.

Should you watch it? Only the scenes with Missy and Clara. Missy is one of the better new creations to the Doctor Who universe and the action between the two of them is fast-paced, funny, and exciting. The Doctor’s scenes drown themselves entirely in the show’s own mythology and need to be clever.

Episodes 3 & 4: Under the Lake/Before the Flood

Summary: The Doctor and Clara come to an underwater base and discover an alien space ship and a whole bunch of dead people who keep coming back as ghosts. The episode gets incredibly timey-wimey as The Doctor must go back in his own timeline to just before the two of them arrive in order to save the day.

Should you watch it? In a word, no. At best, this should have been a single episode. Stretching it into two is painful. Hardcore fans, who will watch anyway, will appreciate a few Easter Eggs dropped into the dialogue, but for the rest of it it’s just a waste.

Arya Stark is really progressing this season.

 Episodes 5 & 6: The Girl Who Died/The Woman Who Lived

Summary: The Doctor and Clara attempt to save a pre-historic Viking village from aliens masquerading as gods. In doing so, they rely on a precocious girl in the village named Ashildr, played by Maisie Williams (Arya Stark from Game of Thrones). In the process, Ashildr is granted immortality. In the second half, The Doctor discovers Ashildr thousands of years later in 1600s London, now completely changed by her immortality and not necessarily for the better.

Should you watch it? Oh my, yes. The first episode is really just a set up for the second, but for completeness of story and for recognizing how awesome Masie Williams is in this part, it’s well worth it. “The Woman Who Lived” was the first episode this season that I actually loved. It felt like the best kind of Doctor Who episodes of the past.

Episodes 7 & 8: The Zygon Invasion/The Zygon Inversion

Summary: Remember the Zygons from the 50^th Anniversary episode and their “pretend to be human and infiltrate Earth” plan? They’re back and up to their old mischief. The entire episode is largely an excuse to bring back the character Osgood, who died in last season’s finale. It also tries to make a statement about human nature, though largely falls flat.

Should you watch it? No. While the episodes bring back some fan favorite characters, that’s not enough to give up two hours of your time.

Episode 9: Sleep No More

Summary: The lone standalone episode of the season, The Doctor and Clara find themselves on a space station with a mysterious enemy slowly hunting down and killing the crew. The show usually tries to do a space-themed horror episode once person season; this is it.

Should you watch it? Skip this one. The horror never really materializes and it mostly feels like a filler episode. Though at least it’s only a one-parter.

As I said at the top, the last three episodes of the season are all 100% worth watching. They are, in fact, wonderful and are the ones that reminded me that Doctor Who isn’t out of ideas and fanciful storytelling just yet. Watch all of these!

WARNING: SPOILERS IN THE NEXT THREE EPISODES!

Scarfs are cool.

Episode 10: Face The Raven

Summary: Clara attempts to save a friend who has been sentenced to death for a supernatural murder that he doesn’t remember committing. In the process, she and The Doctor are reunited with modern-day Ashildr (Maisie Williams again) who has calmed since her last meeting with The Doctor in the 1600s and is now a protector of people who have been affected by him. To that end, Ashildr has set up the entire bogus murder in an attempt to trap The Doctor in an effort to keep him from harming anyone else. Clara’s self-confidence and attempts to out-clever everyone backfire and she is killed in front of The Doctor as he is teleported somewhere else…

Oof. This episode. I can't you guys... All the feels...

Episode 11: Heaven Sent

Summary: The Doctor arrives in his prison, a large castle somewhere unknown completely surrounded by an ocean of water and haunted by the memory of not being able to save Clara. The only other thing in the castle is a silent, shrouded figure that constantly pursues The Doctor, attempting to kill him.  Finally deducing a way out, The Doctor is caught by the figure, who kills him at the very same time he re-appears exactly where he began. The Doctor eventually deduces that he is caught in a cycle whereby he searches for an exit and is killed that has been going on for over 7,000 years and the only way to break free is to continually try to beat it, a process that lasts for over 4 billion more years. In the end, the Doctor is freed and finds himself standing on Gallifrey.

Episode 12: Hell Bent

Summary: The Doctor declares war on Gallifrey’s High Council and extracts Clara from her own time-stream moments before her own death in an attempt to save her. When this doesn’t work, The Doctor takes the TARDIS to the very end of the universe to see the only other person who will be there: Ashildr, who tells him that he and Clara cannot be together because they are too catastrophic. The Doctor attempts to erase Clara’s memories of him but the process backfires and he instead forgets most of his memories of her. At peace with her death but assured that it will happen, Clara and Ashildr use a TARDIS of their own to return Clara to the moment of her death, but not before deciding that they could perhaps “go the long way around” and vanish off into space and time.

SPOILERS ARE DONE! BACK TO REGULAR PROGRAMMING!

Goodbye, Sweetie?

Christmas Episode: The Husbands of River Song

Summary: Your favorite (or not) Moffat-era character returns as The Doctor encounters River Song near the end of her life, just prior to going to The Library. River is unaware of the 12^th Doctor and thus doesn’t recognize him but uses him to help her pawn a very valuable diamond that she’s married a dictator for with the plan of swindling him out of it. A madcap adventure ensues, ending with The Doctor and River’s final night together before she is destined to go to her death in “Silence in the Library”.

Should you watch it? Your mileage may vary, depending on how much you like River. As a fan of her character, it gave me all the closure I have wanted for her story. If you prefer to think of The Doctor without his wife (it happened; deal with it), you can likely skip it.

So where does that leave us? Far too many of the episodes fell victim to Doctor Who writing at its worst, which is to say needless complexity and cleverness for the sake of being clever without any of the actual sense of adventure or wonder. Showrunner Steven Moffat in particular suffers from this from time to time, though he’s not the only one. This cleverness for cleverness’s sake is evident in the mandate that rather than have a season-long story arc, every two episodes would be paired together for two-part story with a neatly hook-y title denoting how they relate to each other. And while I appreciate that approach as one that doesn’t make me wait for a big payoff that inevitably won’t be as earth-shattering as it is promised, it also means that a story that doesn’t grab you is doubly-long and hard to sit through. Unfortunately, that was the case for a lot of the stories here.

What serves as a trip-up for this season likely comes down to the basics. I like the 12^th Doctor. I like Clara Oswald. I like Peter Capaldi. I like Jenna Coleman. I like all these things. What I apparently don’t like is what happens when they all come together. Clara and The Doctor have never totally clicked, despite strong performances from two (actually three) likeable actors. This is incredibly disappointing for me given how incredibly strong Clara’s introduction was, way back in Season 7’s “The Asylum of the Daleks”. I could write an entire post about Clara and what made her work relative to what made her different, but for now I’ll just say that she became problematic, though her character was delivered some kind of justice by giving her an ending that is absolutely worthy of what her character should have been all along.

Emo sigh.

All that said, I absolutely loved the poetry and genuine emotion and fun that last three episodes and the Christmas episode manage. “Heaven Bent” in particular is notable for storytelling that hits every note it needs to and does so while packing an emotional wallop. It’s worth noting that entire episode only contains two speaking parts, The Doctor and one other character who gets one or two lines at the very end. Likewise, “Hell Bent” gives us a peek at an alternate reality Doctor Who with Ashildr and Clara going off in their own TARDIS that is stuck looking like a 1950s American diner and that’s a TV show I would watch the hell out of. The excitement evident in those final episodes save the season from being a complete misfire.

So, get to watching the good stuff. Ignore the boring bits. And join the rest of us in waiting to see just who exactly will be the next companion now that Clara has exited the show. I’m still waiting on them to bring back Donna, though. 

Or, you know, two chicks with their own TARDIS would be cool too...

Mad Men: Obergruppenführer edition

Guest-poster and Amazon Prime subscriber Zach is here to tell you all about Man in the High Castle. Ever imagine what would have happened if the Axis won WWII? Amazon has you covered. --Maggie Cats

Truth is, I’ve been waiting for Amazon’s adaptation of Man in the High Castle for some time; it’s one of my favorite books, and I’ve been hearing about it’s expertly crafted dystopian sci-fi world since September. 

The plot in two sentences: In this world, Germany got the atomic bomb first, and used it on Washington, DC, ending WWII and dividing up the United States into the occupied “Greater Nazi Reich” and the Japanese puppet state, Pacific States of America. The series brings us in during the early 1960s, focusing on the capitals of each of these states, New York and San Francisco. 



The two main characters are Juliana Crain (Alexa Davalos), who's trying to figure out exactly what her newly deceased sister was wrapped up in, and Joe Blake (Luke Kleintank), a Nazi double agent posing as a resistance fighter. 

Will you like it? If you like lush, gorgeous detail, and the intersection of 1960s culture and consumerism colliding with Nazi/Japanese domination, then yeah. The series provides a rich crop of easter eggs and clever visual asides and it's clear the show creators really thought through this alternate universe. I found myself pausing and rewinding constantly, checking out small amusements such as a little boy reading a copy of the kid’s magazine, “Ranger Reich.”

Also, rocket planes are a thing.

Beyond the detail though, is a near-constant gripping drama, with the only lull spent in an early episode in Canon City, a “wild-west” located in the neutral zone of the Rocky Mountains, the last refuge for outcasts (elderly, albinos, Jews, etc.) who would be institutionalized or exterminated in either state.

Drama’s not your thing? Then enjoy the rich secondary characters (who sometimes outshine the leads). Let your stomach get queasy when you find yourself essentially agreeing with the family values espoused by the Rockwellian Smith family, the paterfamilias being a strict but kind husband and father, but also the head of the SS for the Greater Nazi Reich with a prevalence for sadism. Revel in the fascinating social commentary on race and gender--at one point our lead characters are led through a “white dancers only” fetish strip club, run by the Yakuza. The series seems tailored for us to examine our own America through our glimpse at this fictional world.

For me, the only downside to this adaptation is that the eerie version of “Edelweiss” featured in the opening credits is my new nightmare fuel. Here’s hoping it can be yours too.

Man in the High Castle is on Amazon.com, and is free to Amazon Prime members. All episodes are available for streaming Nov. 20th, 2015.

Peaky Blinders

Guest-poster Ben is back, this time with a review of the Netflix series, Peaky Blinders. If period pieces, Irishmen, and graphic violence are your thing, sounds like a must watch. I know I can't wait. --Maggie Cats

Peaky Blinders on Netflix (it’s called a “Netflix Original,” but the only original thing is that Netflix has the exclusive U.S. rights from the BBC) will take about half a day of your time to watch all 12 episodes. I strongly recommend it, although if you have a job or child care obligations or a desire not to become so sedentary that you merge with your couch, you don’t have to binge-watch it. You will find yourself tempted, though.

Peaky Blinders is the story of the Shelby family, Irishmen living in post-WWI Birmingham, England. The Shelbys form the core of a racketeering organization called the “Peaky Blinders.” It’s led by Tommy Shelby, played by Cillian Murphy with perhaps the world’s ugliest haircut:

All the male Shelbys have this haircut. It doesn’t look better on any of them.

But the appalling haircuts are not why the Shelbys’ gang is called the “Peaky Blinders.” They’re called that because they sew razor blades into the lining of their cabbie-style “peaked caps,” and when the need arises the Shelbys slash for the eyes.

We do not use the word “classy” to describe the Shelbys. Or “merciful.”

So, yes, if you’re watching Peaky Blinders, you should have a pretty good tolerance for violent nastiness on a level similar to Breaking Bad. Otherwise, what will happen is that you will be immediately taken in by the awesomeness of Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds’ song “Red Right Hand” playing in the opening, end up wanting more guitar-heavy rock-backed period drama, and then end up half-covering your eyes as a guy gets beaten to death in a basement as you suddenly wish you were still watching Downton Abbey.

It’s actually kind of interesting to watch Downton Abbey’s third season at the same time as the first season of Peaky Blinders, as they take place in the same year.

In Downton, we watch chauffeur-turned-mild-political-agitator Tom Branson get into a spot of trouble mildly agitating for Irish independence. Lord Grantham manages to get him out of it with a phone call, though. Nothing to worry about here.

In Peaky Blinders, the Irish Republican Army threatens mass-murder against the Shelbys if the Peaky Blinders don’t assist the cause of Irish independence. Much of the solution to the Shelbys’ IRA problem involves preemptive or alternative murder.

"No matter how many I kill, my haircut remains distractingly bad."

In Downton, Bates’s worst problem while being wrongfully imprisoned for the murder of his wife was that the nasty corrupt prison guard stopped his mail. In the second season of Peaky Blinders, we find that prison is as fatal in 1920 Birmingham as being in women’s lockup in Eastern Kentucky with Dr. Caitlin Snow from Flash. That is, people get shivved with regularity.

Really sucked that Eva Crowder wasn’t a speedster, huh, Dr. Snow? (Justified, season 5)

While Downton has Hugh Bonneville as the financially incompetent self-righteous patriarch of the Granthams, Peaky Blinders has Sam Neill as Inspector Campbell, the sneering, self-righteous Belfast police chief come to solve Birmingham’s national security issues with as much brutality as needed.

“I’ll bet you’re sorry I’m not Hugh Bonneville, ain’t ye?”

There are also Communists, and, in season two, London’s Jewish and Irish organized crime.

In short, if after Downton you wonder what happened to all the people who swore and actually, you know, did things, you can watch Peaky Blinders and find out.

So, why should you watch what I’ve just described as “Frank Miller’s Downton Abbey”? Because it is a compact package of emotional suspense. Despite Cillian Murphy being called on to do his trademark “I am at best indifferent, and more likely amused, at your suffering” face (the one from Red Eye and Batman Begins) a bunch of the time, he’s also having real emotions, too. At the start of season one, Thomas Shelby is a PTSD-wracked bookmaker with ambitions, and he’s about to fall in love with the wrong woman. Will he be able to pull off his complicated plan for the Peaky Blinders to rise above mere local bookies, or will love and his adversaries destroy everything Tommy has ever worked for?

But it’s not just Tommy; each member of the Shelby clan, from shell-shocked older brother Arthur to world-wise Aunt Polly, has a story to tell, and you end up rooting a little for all of them, despite their murderous criminality (or willingness to tolerate same). Compared to the uncompromising, all-consuming violent righteousness of the Irish Republicans and Inspector Campbell, the pragmatism of the Peaky Blinders seems to gain a moral sense of its own. And, as The A-Team’s Hannibal always said, we love it when a plan comes together, and when Tommy Shelby’s plots reach their apotheosis, when we see how all sorts of little things that happened in episodes before lead to one massive, guns-blazing finish, we almost can’t but hope that something with this much effort and care actually works out for the architect.

And did I mention the rockin’ score? Guitars everywhere (White Stripes in the first season).

Quick and Dirty

I've been trying out a lot of random shows lately with varying results. Let's try something new where I just shout out my initial thoughts about this motley collection.

Backstrom:Dwight from The Office tries to be House. He's not House. I lasted all of two minutes before I was offended by this excremental show. 

Next!

Call the Midwife: BIRTH CONTROL. Seriously, you will not let any man near your lady parts after watching this show.  

Next!

Glee: It's the Final Season! They're all back at McKinley! Who cares?!

Next!

Grantchester: He's a hot vicar who solves murders. Too bad it's totally boring.

Next!

Z Nation: Still way better and more fun than The Walking Dead. 

Next!

Black Sails: Completely nonsensical and impossible to follow.

And finally....

Marco Polo: Everyone is more interesting than the main character, but at least he's cute. Oh, and the show is actually pretty good if you're into thirteenth century Mongol politics. AND WHO ISN'T.

Maggie Cats OUT.

It's SUGAR, not crack. Calm yourself.

You've probably noticed I haven't been around a lot lately. My mother has been going through some serious health problems, and I've basically spent the last few months back at home helping her out. But she's starting to feel better which means that I can start to get back to life as usual. So here I am! Back and ready to talk about two of my favorite things: television and baked goods. Ahhhhh, yeeeeeah.

I've been watching a lot of Food Network lately. For the most part, the shows are mindless and filled with food porn. So you know, perfect for me. Your brain doesn't need to work hard while watching, and beyond thoughts like, "my God, how much butter is the Pioneer Woman going to put in this recipe?" or "where does the network find chefs for all these stupid cooking competition shows?" I don't get very engaged in the Food Network programs.

With one exception.

Food Network's Holiday Baking Championship. It is the cooking competition to end all cooking competitions. I'm not sure exactly how it manages it, but the show has hit upon the perfect mix of fun personalities, clever challenges, amazing food, and fair and entertaining judging.

I'll have one of each, please.

I was hooked from the first episode (which you can watch online here): Holiday Cookie Madness. 8 bakers compete in various cookie challenges, including having to make their best cookie recipe using a specific tool (some have to make drop cookies, some rolled cookies, etc.).

All episodes follow the same format; there's a pre-challenge where the bakers compete to win an advantage in the main challenge of the episode. Three judges, including Duff of Ace of Cakes, taste the results, pick a winner, and eliminate one of the bakers. The last baker standing at the end of the six episodes will walk away with a sweet $50,000.

The challenges have included the aforementioned cookies, holiday pies, a yule log (bouche de noel, if you're fancy), holiday cakes, and baking with certain classic holiday flavors like peppermint. In the final episode, which airs this Sunday evening, the bakers will be constructing gingerbread worlds. I repeat: GINGERBREAD. WORLDS.

I was having trouble getting into the holiday spirit this year. Chalk it up to exhaustion, both emotional and physical. But dammit, if the Holiday Baking Championship hasn't turned things around for me and made me excited for Hanukkah and Christmas. And for that alone, I'm thankful.

Also, just seeing all the baked goods is pretty freaking awesome.

 It's log!

Orange is the New Black: Season 2

Last night Clovis and I had a little chat about Orange is the New Black Season 2. We were pretty much in agreement that it was amazing...so I hope you are ready for a love fest. I mean, hopefully the chat is funny too, but it's basically us gushing about the show. Enjoy!

Maggie Cats: So, season 2! Thoughts?

Clovis: In no particular order...man, Vee is scary. I still don't give a shit about Piper. Larry is still a douche. But that's what you get when you cast Jason Biggs. Poor Crazy Eyes is going to be even more fucked up than ever. That's my 30,000-foot view.

Maggie Cats: I liked the this season even better than the first. I think introducing Vee and focusing on the power struggles within the prison was genius. And I do not dislike Piper as much as everyone else. I think side-lining her a bit was a good move....but basically, I have too much in common with her to hate on her.

Clovis: Haha, would you like to take this moment to confess anything about your secret lesbian past smuggling drugs? We can keep it between us and the blog readers.

Maggie Cats: I meant that I am a white privileged liberal self-focused lady. I didn't smuggle DRUGS.

Clovis: Livestock?

Maggie Cats: Only children.

Clovis: Fair.

Maggie Cats: Under my muumuu.

Clovis: In Morocco.

Maggie Cats: WHO TOLD.

Clovis: But back to the point, I really liked Vee, all things considered. One of the things that impressed me was how well she actually set up a functioning and stable family environment. You know. When she wasn't being a total sociopath.

Maggie Cats: She is a psychopath and excels at finding someone's emotional weakness and pouncing on it like a vampire. And this season was all about the created family as power. Joss Whedon is like, "they stole my favorite theme!"

Clovis: At least they let him keep his reputation as a character-murderer. That was nice of them.

Maggie Cats: True. Change of topic: I think Taystee might have become my favorite character this season. She is just so compelling.

Clovis: I really liked the arc they gave her. She was an interesting character in season 1, but season 2 really got to let her play with who that person is. I loved that she was the only one who understood the job fair, for example.

Maggie Cats: But she still didn't UNDERSTAND the job fair

Clovis: EXACTLY! That's the story of Taystee's whole life - she understands the score so much better than anyone around her, but she always misses the one crucial detail that ends up biting her in the ass. She got that Vee offered love and protection and how important that was. She just didn't understand the cost it came at. Likewise, in season 1, she understood how to do what she needed to do to get released, but didn't understand what was going to happen once she was back in society.

Maggie Cats: Nailed it. And OMG we have to talk about the twist with Lorna. It was so amazing and surprising and didn't feel like a cheat at all. Guess what, audience? BITCH IS CRAY. And not just cray, but like 50 shades of cray.

Clovis: I was wondering what was up with that all through last season. I kept thinking that they were going to reveal that Michael wasn't real at all - just someone she made up in her head. When we finally saw her with the collage on her wall, I kind of figured that it was all just made up. Turns out I was close.

Maggie Cats: It's like the revelation didn't change how much I love her at all--which objectively feels strange. I did not even consider that she could be crazy. I think I have been consistently underestimating how well this show is going to flesh out everyone in the cast and not just a handful of main characters (like most television programs). This is what LOST was trying to do.

Clovis: Agreed. Not a single person in OITNB has yelled "Waaaaaaaaaallltt" once! Definite plus in its favor.
Maggie Cats: But seriously, I care about every single one of these characters. How often does that happen? Even the asshole prison staff. I still find them interesting, even if they are idiots.

Clovis: Like I said, my closest exception is Piper. I don't hate her, I just don't care about her when the other characters are so much more interesting to me.

Maggie Cats: I think the only thing they should do next season is just get rid of Larry completely from the plot, his story is kind of done. I didn't actively dislike his and Polly's subplot, but I think it has run its course. So see ya!

Clovis: Agreed, though I'm sure they'll leave him on. Piper needs that connection to her "real" life, so I'm sure they'll still be a presence. Although, in Piper's favor, I loved the moment they gave her during her furlough when one of the family members said to her that she must be so anxious to get out and return to her old life and Piper thoughtfully responded that actually, she kind of wasn't. Piper is developing more of a, dare we say, authentic existence inside the prison than she ever had outside it.

Maggie Cats: I just find Piper interesting. Her development to having more backbone...but also her inability to hold back on correcting people and coming off as a know it all. She just feels like another completely real person.

Clovis: Yeah, I don't think that's inaccurate. I just prefer the other characters to her. Big case in point this year was Poussay. One of the things that set me off with Poussay last year was that at times you could almost see the real actress coming through the character.

Maggie Cats: I think the problem I have, which isn't really fair of me, is that the actress is so stunning that she doesn't seem realistic as the character.

Clovis: Like, the character would suddenly lapse into a flawless British accent in order to make a joke or something. Skills that the real-life actress has but I didn't think that character would. Then suddenly this year we get her backstory of having been an army brat and likely a very competent one, given that she apparently mastered German on her own. Suddenly the character clicked for me. Although yes, agreed - she's been made "Hollywood ugly". Which is to say, they shaved her head.

Maggie Cats: I confess that I did not find her flashbacks very compelling. But again, different strokes. The fact that there is such a myriad variety of characters and we can each connect with different ones is a reason why the show is so great.

Clovis: That's definitely the strength of the show - the variety of its ensemble cast. Which makes me grateful that they got a second season (and are on their way to a third) so that they can keep showcasing all these characters.

Maggie Cats: One of my favorite blogs, Tom and Lorenzo, writes about the show. And they nailed it when they said it is telling womens' stories that nobody else is telling.

Clovis: Completely agree. The show blows both the Bechdel test and the Mako test out of the water. 

Maggie Cats: And watching it, you aren't like "how nice that someone is telling stories about ladies." It's just like, "this is a show that is brilliant. Oh, and hey, most of the characters are women. Neat." The fact that it is about women is not "a thing."

Clovis: It reminds me of some authors when they're asked about how they write women characters and the ones who respond by saying they write characters first and foremost and that those characters are women are secondary to having good story lines and good beats. I understand the flip side to that argument, that representation is important and that you do have to bear in mind that women's experiences are different from men's, but I think the point about focusing first and foremost on telling authentic stories is what helps to move the show into the space it occupies so well.

Maggie Cats: What you said reminds me of how Joss Whedon answered the question, "why do you write such strong female characters?" His response was, "how is this even a question? Why aren't you asking a hundred other guys why they don't?" And to me, "strong" doesn't necessarily mean kickass. It means characters that are actual people.

Clovis: For better or for worse, one of the unintended consequences of Joss Whedon writing characters like Buffy that are "Strong Female Characters" is that while Hollywood is slowly getting more comfortable with having female action characters, there's still a rule that a "strong" female has to be a tiny, petite blonde girl who can inexplicably punch a guy five times her size. That's an overreaction to the characters that writers like Whedon were trying to create, but it's the state we're left with. What makes OITNB so interesting to me is that there is no similar requirement here.

Maggie Cats: I'm not sure that idea is limited to "strong" female characters...I think it's more that Hollywood wants ANY female character to be petite and hot. So I think I disagree with your point on that one, but respectfully. Oh, wait, I obviously mean DISRESPECTFULLY

Clovis: In this show we get women of all body types, ethnicities, and backgrounds. And while some of them are physically strong and intimidating, others are "strong" in the sense that they're just well-written characters. Punch me and disagree with me. ;)

Maggie Cats: Hmm...I am neither blonde nor petitie. But I never turn down an offer to punch someone. I do prefer to give a kidney shot though.

Clovis: So what are you interested in seeing them do with the show in Season 3? 

Maggie Cats: You know, I have NO IDEA.

Clovis: Obviously there is more about the characters that I want to see them explore, but one of the things that I'd like to see more of is something on the recidivism that Taystee touched on in season 1. 

Maggie Cats: I don't even know what I want. I just trust the show to take me along for the ride and to tell the story the writers want to tell.

Clovis: I'd like to see them take a look at how the prison system works for women who are trying to integrate back into society. (or doesn't work, as the case may be.) 

Maggie Cats: That would be interesting. I think we will spend more time outside the prison with the fugitive chase. 

Clovis: Somewhat related, I'd also love to know about the guard who had the hilarious problem with the nuns. As someone who grew up Catholic, I can completely understand where he's coming from. If he could sing more about the divorce that his mom and dad should have had but for the church, that would be cool too.

Maggie Cats: YES! That was awesome. Again, a tertiary character that I never really cared about all of a sudden became completely intriguing. His song was hysterical.

Clovis: I love the romance between him and the female guard. Like, I don't need a full episode on the two of them, but I always want to see a few lines from them in each episode.

Maggie Cats: It's just so graceful how the show is able to have these little character moments that carry through the season and then you get a payoff.

Clovis: Another question for season 3 (since we haven't even talked about Red yet): Will Red ever get to eat that chicken? 

Maggie Cats: HAHA. Nope. And she is totally going to find out Piper lied about going to the restaurant too. She will have VENGEANCE.  

Clovis: Vengeance or disability, right? Sounds like if Red learns the truth about her restaurant it could be the thing that breaks her. Especially since she doesn't have the prison kitchen anymore. Another possible theme for season 3 (building off the "family is power" theme in season two): Will we see racial tensions getting more pronounced than they have been? Red was certainly building up her people, possibly as a preliminary move to take back the kitchen from Mendoza. 

Maggie Cats: I love that my answer is "I have no idea." Anything could happen. Sidenote: I hope the old ladies take over. Those bitches mean BUSINESS. 

Clovis: Hell yes. I loved some of their lines about how no one thinks they can still cut you just because they have grey hair. I would love to see an old lady cabal start to form some real power plays in that place. It would be like a Godfather thing. 

Maggie Cats: It wouldn't surprise me--anything could happen on this show! Ok, let's wrap this up. I think we both feel this show is amazing. And I loved Season 2 even more than Season 1. Agree or disagree? 

Clovis: Definitely agreed. 

Maggie Cats: You are right and circle gets the square! 

Clovis: I was right? In what way? (not that I'm denying it...)

Maggie Cats: Your opinion was the same as mine and therefore it was correct. You get to avoid the kidney shot. Congrats!

Clovis: I always hoped this day would come.

Maggie Cats: Don't stop believin'.

Binging and Purging

In just a few short years, the concept of binge watching a TV show over the course of a weekend has gone from covert activity to guilty little secret to blatantly-confessed event.  That this trend of watching television has grown more prominent clearly isn’t in doubt – look no further than Netflix’s practice of releasing entire seasons of its programming all on the same day for evidence that this is a pattern that entertainment studios will continue to look toward in the future.  And none of us are alone in this - 61% of Americans binge-watch their television, a sizeable demographic, but also a sizeable shift in the way we watch TV over the past decade.

I feel you, animated person.  I feel you.

But for those of us enjoying the entertainment rather than thinking about the business implications, we sometimes have to balance the desire to sit and binge an entire series against how much time we can realistically spend on the couch in our pajamas.  Thankfully, the good people at Nielsen have got us covered on this one.

Released earlier this year, Nielsen (the same company that tracks viewership for your favorite television shows which also makes it sorta kinda the same advisory body that is responsible for killing your favorite television shows after it has determined that not enough test households are watching) has put together a list of how much time it actually takes to binge watch a variety of shows.

Want to watch the entirety of the BBC’s Sherlock and bask in all its Cumberbatch-ery? That’s going to cost you 14 hours of your time.  Up for the political machinations of Kevin Spacey?  House of Cards will take 22 hours.  The Walking Dead can serve up a full one day, fifteen hours of zombies straight to your living room.  If you want to go to there, 30 Rock will take two days, two hours all together.  Mad Men weighs in at two days, nine hours. How I Met Your Mother takes three days, two hours to get to the damn point already. (That point is that Ted is a terrible person.)  Better pray that you don’t run out of time – 24 takes six days, two hours to watch completely.

And yet, that’s still not even scratching the surface for some shows.  Supernatural can give you six days and one hour’s worth of ridiculously overly attractive people fighting demons.  Law and Order: SVU takes ten days and ten hours to tell stories about horrible people doing horrible things.  Binging on donuts and The Simpsons will last you eight days, ten hours (and going strong).   It will take 12 days, nine hours to catch every episode of Pokemon.  And if you really, really want to have an experience with warping both space and time, it takes more than two full weeks to watch every episode of Doctor Who.

The scary thing? Homer's still only on the Fifth Doctor.

Knowledge is power, my good people.  Don’t go into your binge-watch this weekend without knowing what you’re committing to. 

To see the full list of how long it takes to watch TV’s popular shows, go here.  To see how long your favorite sci-fi shows take, it’s here.  Finally, if you really want to know how much of your lives you’ve lost to cartoons, this is the place.