The Wonderful Wizard of Racism

So, I’m not a huge fan of musicals. There’s just something about the level of earnestness that a musical has to have in order to work that puts me off. Unless we’re talking about Soundheim. Seriously, there’s something going on in that dude’s brain that I hope he’s addressing with a therapist. That all said, when you get a musical that intersects with biting social commentary, I’m totally drawn in. Which is why I watched The Wiz Live! last week and am here to talk to you about it.

The Wiz Live! is the follow-up to The Sound of Music Live! and Peter Pan Live! and precedes next year’s Grease Live! All four are created by NBC which is clearly concerned about the dearth of exclamation points used in modern writing. But the biggest thing that The Wiz Live! has managed to do is thoroughly out-perform its two predecessors. By almost all measures, be they social media, ratings, or critical reception, The Wiz Live! was significantly better received than either of NBC’s previous live musical outings. Unfortunately, there are always jerks waiting in the wings to yell loudly about things.

Le Sigh.

I’ll talk about the jerks in a second, but first let’s focus on the production itself. Simply put, the show was thoroughly entertaining. First, consider the cast: David Alan Grier as the Lion, Mary J. Blige as Evilline (The Wicked Witch), Uzo Aduba as Glinda, and Queen Latifah as the Wizard. Dorothy is played by Shanice Williams, an actress who isn’t even 20 and for whom this is her first substantive production and she still managed to hold herself up next to these industry veterans. It almost goes without saying that the costumes and sets were going to be gorgeous and camera-ready, nevertheless they still knocked them out of the park. The word “ambitious” has been tossed around a lot in describing the production, but it is an accurate one that served it well.

I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I want the Wizard's chair in my apartment.

That’s not to say that there weren’t a few cracks – on one or two moments, the actors clearly stepped on each others’ lines or misspoke slightly. A mic dropped into the frame at the beginning of the broadcast. The director also relied too much on camera tricks to accomplish some of the special effects, a particularly confusing decision since those effects are all visible onstage whenever the musical is produced outside of a television studio so it’s not like they’re that hard to create. Those are generally trifles when compared to what the musical did right, however.

But of course, you can’t talk about The Wiz Live! without talking about racism. If the predominant storyline that came out of the production was generally about how good of a production it was, the second biggest story was the extent to which people online who don’t know their heads from their asses seemed to think that casting an all-black version of The Wizard of Oz is somehow an example of “reverse racism.” Twitter and other sources went nuts on this with lots of folk demanding that someone, anyone, should make an all-white version of The Wiz to protest this craziness.

"Should we tell them about MGM in the 1930s?"

I’m just old enough to remember the original version of The Wiz with Diana Ross and Michael Jackson airing on television when I was a kid. When the original film was created, it was actually the end of something; the movie marked the conclusion of an era of films that centered on African American characters and settings, beginning with the Blaxploitation films of the 1970s. Blaxploitation as an era of filmmaking has always been controversial, being seen alternately as both empowering to African American actors, filmmakers, and audiences and harmful to them. (See modern discussions on feminist pornography for a current example of the same argument.) The Wiz made for an odd, if likely unintentional, capstone to that movement. It is hardly the first film people are going to think of alongside Shaft, Super Fly, Blacula, Foxy Brown, or even Dolomite. Nevertheless, it remains one of the last major films to fall firmly into that world until later resurgences in the 1990s and beyond.

Given the original movie’s place in black history and black entertainment, it’s interesting that the modern version made some significant changes to its 1970s forbearer. The original musical and film was firmly grounded in the African American experience of the 1970s, harkening back to L. Frank Baum’s novel in broad strokes but bringing the action, settings, and characters into a thoroughly more urban environment. In it, Dorothy is 24 years old, a teacher, and living in Harlem. The version of Oz she travels to is a Through The Looking Glass version of New York City. Munchkinland is an inner city playground and the Munchkins have been transformed by the Wicked Witch of the East into graffiti because they tagged the park. The Scarecrow is made of garbage, the Tin-Man is found in an abandoned amusement park, the Lion has been hiding among the stone lions in front of the New York Public Library. The four have to contend with an evil subway line, a motorcycle gang, and “poppy girls”, prostitutes working Times Square who spray poppy perfume. The Wicked Witch of the West is a sweatshop owner. Oz isn’t a place that’s arrived by magically; Dorothy gets there by stumbling through a snowstorm below 125^th Street, an area of the city that she’s literally never been to.

I've had this exact same look while riding the B train.

By contrast, The Wiz Live! returns the action to a setting that’s much more in-line with the source material. Now, Dorothy, like her white counterpart from the 1900 novel and the 1939 film, lives in Kansas and is trying to get to Omaha. This Oz looks much more like Judy Garland’s, all psychedelic colors and rural environments. It’s a much more traditional approach that both undercuts the interpretive power of the 1970s film and adds to the value of the original story. Both approaches show that the story can thrive in different settings; the 1970s film transplants the story full cloth into a different world where the modern take applies a different cultural worldview to a predominately white world.

Fierce.

All of which is kind of what makes The Wiz Live! feel so especially different. Instead of being a closing scene, this time the musical is clearly part of the opening number and comes as a vanguard of a new movement toward televised musicals. Second, it layers the experience of a minority population onto a majority’s worldview. Much has been made in the past eight years of the United States becoming a “post-racial” society. While I don’t believe that’s entirely true, we are starting to see pools of that prospect begin to seep into the greater fabric of American culture. Particular in that goal of being “post-racial” is the understanding that no culture speaks with one voice and that there are multiple stories within each cultural group, oftentimes ones that are contradictory. The Wiz Live! and its success is a welcome contributor to that notion.  

Orange is the New Black: Season 2

Last night Clovis and I had a little chat about Orange is the New Black Season 2. We were pretty much in agreement that it was amazing...so I hope you are ready for a love fest. I mean, hopefully the chat is funny too, but it's basically us gushing about the show. Enjoy!

Maggie Cats: So, season 2! Thoughts?

Clovis: In no particular order...man, Vee is scary. I still don't give a shit about Piper. Larry is still a douche. But that's what you get when you cast Jason Biggs. Poor Crazy Eyes is going to be even more fucked up than ever. That's my 30,000-foot view.

Maggie Cats: I liked the this season even better than the first. I think introducing Vee and focusing on the power struggles within the prison was genius. And I do not dislike Piper as much as everyone else. I think side-lining her a bit was a good move....but basically, I have too much in common with her to hate on her.

Clovis: Haha, would you like to take this moment to confess anything about your secret lesbian past smuggling drugs? We can keep it between us and the blog readers.

Maggie Cats: I meant that I am a white privileged liberal self-focused lady. I didn't smuggle DRUGS.

Clovis: Livestock?

Maggie Cats: Only children.

Clovis: Fair.

Maggie Cats: Under my muumuu.

Clovis: In Morocco.

Maggie Cats: WHO TOLD.

Clovis: But back to the point, I really liked Vee, all things considered. One of the things that impressed me was how well she actually set up a functioning and stable family environment. You know. When she wasn't being a total sociopath.

Maggie Cats: She is a psychopath and excels at finding someone's emotional weakness and pouncing on it like a vampire. And this season was all about the created family as power. Joss Whedon is like, "they stole my favorite theme!"

Clovis: At least they let him keep his reputation as a character-murderer. That was nice of them.

Maggie Cats: True. Change of topic: I think Taystee might have become my favorite character this season. She is just so compelling.

Clovis: I really liked the arc they gave her. She was an interesting character in season 1, but season 2 really got to let her play with who that person is. I loved that she was the only one who understood the job fair, for example.

Maggie Cats: But she still didn't UNDERSTAND the job fair

Clovis: EXACTLY! That's the story of Taystee's whole life - she understands the score so much better than anyone around her, but she always misses the one crucial detail that ends up biting her in the ass. She got that Vee offered love and protection and how important that was. She just didn't understand the cost it came at. Likewise, in season 1, she understood how to do what she needed to do to get released, but didn't understand what was going to happen once she was back in society.

Maggie Cats: Nailed it. And OMG we have to talk about the twist with Lorna. It was so amazing and surprising and didn't feel like a cheat at all. Guess what, audience? BITCH IS CRAY. And not just cray, but like 50 shades of cray.

Clovis: I was wondering what was up with that all through last season. I kept thinking that they were going to reveal that Michael wasn't real at all - just someone she made up in her head. When we finally saw her with the collage on her wall, I kind of figured that it was all just made up. Turns out I was close.

Maggie Cats: It's like the revelation didn't change how much I love her at all--which objectively feels strange. I did not even consider that she could be crazy. I think I have been consistently underestimating how well this show is going to flesh out everyone in the cast and not just a handful of main characters (like most television programs). This is what LOST was trying to do.

Clovis: Agreed. Not a single person in OITNB has yelled "Waaaaaaaaaallltt" once! Definite plus in its favor.
Maggie Cats: But seriously, I care about every single one of these characters. How often does that happen? Even the asshole prison staff. I still find them interesting, even if they are idiots.

Clovis: Like I said, my closest exception is Piper. I don't hate her, I just don't care about her when the other characters are so much more interesting to me.

Maggie Cats: I think the only thing they should do next season is just get rid of Larry completely from the plot, his story is kind of done. I didn't actively dislike his and Polly's subplot, but I think it has run its course. So see ya!

Clovis: Agreed, though I'm sure they'll leave him on. Piper needs that connection to her "real" life, so I'm sure they'll still be a presence. Although, in Piper's favor, I loved the moment they gave her during her furlough when one of the family members said to her that she must be so anxious to get out and return to her old life and Piper thoughtfully responded that actually, she kind of wasn't. Piper is developing more of a, dare we say, authentic existence inside the prison than she ever had outside it.

Maggie Cats: I just find Piper interesting. Her development to having more backbone...but also her inability to hold back on correcting people and coming off as a know it all. She just feels like another completely real person.

Clovis: Yeah, I don't think that's inaccurate. I just prefer the other characters to her. Big case in point this year was Poussay. One of the things that set me off with Poussay last year was that at times you could almost see the real actress coming through the character.

Maggie Cats: I think the problem I have, which isn't really fair of me, is that the actress is so stunning that she doesn't seem realistic as the character.

Clovis: Like, the character would suddenly lapse into a flawless British accent in order to make a joke or something. Skills that the real-life actress has but I didn't think that character would. Then suddenly this year we get her backstory of having been an army brat and likely a very competent one, given that she apparently mastered German on her own. Suddenly the character clicked for me. Although yes, agreed - she's been made "Hollywood ugly". Which is to say, they shaved her head.

Maggie Cats: I confess that I did not find her flashbacks very compelling. But again, different strokes. The fact that there is such a myriad variety of characters and we can each connect with different ones is a reason why the show is so great.

Clovis: That's definitely the strength of the show - the variety of its ensemble cast. Which makes me grateful that they got a second season (and are on their way to a third) so that they can keep showcasing all these characters.

Maggie Cats: One of my favorite blogs, Tom and Lorenzo, writes about the show. And they nailed it when they said it is telling womens' stories that nobody else is telling.

Clovis: Completely agree. The show blows both the Bechdel test and the Mako test out of the water. 

Maggie Cats: And watching it, you aren't like "how nice that someone is telling stories about ladies." It's just like, "this is a show that is brilliant. Oh, and hey, most of the characters are women. Neat." The fact that it is about women is not "a thing."

Clovis: It reminds me of some authors when they're asked about how they write women characters and the ones who respond by saying they write characters first and foremost and that those characters are women are secondary to having good story lines and good beats. I understand the flip side to that argument, that representation is important and that you do have to bear in mind that women's experiences are different from men's, but I think the point about focusing first and foremost on telling authentic stories is what helps to move the show into the space it occupies so well.

Maggie Cats: What you said reminds me of how Joss Whedon answered the question, "why do you write such strong female characters?" His response was, "how is this even a question? Why aren't you asking a hundred other guys why they don't?" And to me, "strong" doesn't necessarily mean kickass. It means characters that are actual people.

Clovis: For better or for worse, one of the unintended consequences of Joss Whedon writing characters like Buffy that are "Strong Female Characters" is that while Hollywood is slowly getting more comfortable with having female action characters, there's still a rule that a "strong" female has to be a tiny, petite blonde girl who can inexplicably punch a guy five times her size. That's an overreaction to the characters that writers like Whedon were trying to create, but it's the state we're left with. What makes OITNB so interesting to me is that there is no similar requirement here.

Maggie Cats: I'm not sure that idea is limited to "strong" female characters...I think it's more that Hollywood wants ANY female character to be petite and hot. So I think I disagree with your point on that one, but respectfully. Oh, wait, I obviously mean DISRESPECTFULLY

Clovis: In this show we get women of all body types, ethnicities, and backgrounds. And while some of them are physically strong and intimidating, others are "strong" in the sense that they're just well-written characters. Punch me and disagree with me. ;)

Maggie Cats: Hmm...I am neither blonde nor petitie. But I never turn down an offer to punch someone. I do prefer to give a kidney shot though.

Clovis: So what are you interested in seeing them do with the show in Season 3? 

Maggie Cats: You know, I have NO IDEA.

Clovis: Obviously there is more about the characters that I want to see them explore, but one of the things that I'd like to see more of is something on the recidivism that Taystee touched on in season 1. 

Maggie Cats: I don't even know what I want. I just trust the show to take me along for the ride and to tell the story the writers want to tell.

Clovis: I'd like to see them take a look at how the prison system works for women who are trying to integrate back into society. (or doesn't work, as the case may be.) 

Maggie Cats: That would be interesting. I think we will spend more time outside the prison with the fugitive chase. 

Clovis: Somewhat related, I'd also love to know about the guard who had the hilarious problem with the nuns. As someone who grew up Catholic, I can completely understand where he's coming from. If he could sing more about the divorce that his mom and dad should have had but for the church, that would be cool too.

Maggie Cats: YES! That was awesome. Again, a tertiary character that I never really cared about all of a sudden became completely intriguing. His song was hysterical.

Clovis: I love the romance between him and the female guard. Like, I don't need a full episode on the two of them, but I always want to see a few lines from them in each episode.

Maggie Cats: It's just so graceful how the show is able to have these little character moments that carry through the season and then you get a payoff.

Clovis: Another question for season 3 (since we haven't even talked about Red yet): Will Red ever get to eat that chicken? 

Maggie Cats: HAHA. Nope. And she is totally going to find out Piper lied about going to the restaurant too. She will have VENGEANCE.  

Clovis: Vengeance or disability, right? Sounds like if Red learns the truth about her restaurant it could be the thing that breaks her. Especially since she doesn't have the prison kitchen anymore. Another possible theme for season 3 (building off the "family is power" theme in season two): Will we see racial tensions getting more pronounced than they have been? Red was certainly building up her people, possibly as a preliminary move to take back the kitchen from Mendoza. 

Maggie Cats: I love that my answer is "I have no idea." Anything could happen. Sidenote: I hope the old ladies take over. Those bitches mean BUSINESS. 

Clovis: Hell yes. I loved some of their lines about how no one thinks they can still cut you just because they have grey hair. I would love to see an old lady cabal start to form some real power plays in that place. It would be like a Godfather thing. 

Maggie Cats: It wouldn't surprise me--anything could happen on this show! Ok, let's wrap this up. I think we both feel this show is amazing. And I loved Season 2 even more than Season 1. Agree or disagree? 

Clovis: Definitely agreed. 

Maggie Cats: You are right and circle gets the square! 

Clovis: I was right? In what way? (not that I'm denying it...)

Maggie Cats: Your opinion was the same as mine and therefore it was correct. You get to avoid the kidney shot. Congrats!

Clovis: I always hoped this day would come.

Maggie Cats: Don't stop believin'.

Mad Men Threeway

Yay, so Fourth of July weekend. Since I am not stuck working 11-hour days for the present moment, AND SINCE IT WILL NOT STOP EFFING RAINING, I decided that I would be able to sit down and post our first ever TV Sluts Three Way, brought to you by Mad Men and Don's complete meltdown. Seriously. Someone send me a vacay.

 Remember when Don told a room full of Hershey execs that he was raised by prostitutes? Those were good times.

Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. 

I'm sure you've all been able to have some time to process your thoughts, so here are ours.
Maggie: Hurray!

Clovis: Hey, can everyone see me?

 Maggie: Yup

 Clovis: w00t Arsenic Pie, you there?

 Maggie: Arseeeeeniiiiiic.

 Arsenic Pie: I am here. I was finishing up with a student.

 Maggie: TV Slut threeway!

 Arsenic Pie: I told her I liked Lady Gaga. And she shrieked in my ear.

 Maggie: God, ESL students take FOREVER

 Arsenic Pie: Legit shrieked. She was super stoked.

 Maggie: I mean, what? Arsenic Pie: You have no idea

 Maggie: Haha.

 Clovis: Twelve lines in and we're already inappropriate.

 Maggie: There goes my food empire, I'm a racist.

Quiet, bird. I'll deal with you later. 

 Arsenic Pie: feel like we're off to a good start.

 Maggie: Hurray! So, Arsenic Pie, I dub thee in charge, since you are the Mad Men expert du jour.

 Arsenic Pie: YAY I'M THE QUEEN. Okay, so. OMG. Where to start?

 Maggie: TRUTHTELLING and CONSEQUENCES. That was what I got out of it.

 Arsenic Pie: Holy crap. I loved how the Hershey meeting turned into Don's therapy session. I mean, let's be real. Don needs a ton of therapy.

 Maggie: It was the anti-Kodak carousel speech, right?

 Arsenic Pie: But not in the chocolate meeting!

 Maggie: Is it wrong that through that whole meeting, I just wanted a Hershey bar? Hershey is my favorite. 

Arsenic Pie: I dislike Hershey. It is too sweet.

 Clovis: Funny, I wanted a prostitute. What can you do? 

Arsenic Pie: I like dark chocolate. I'm sure that could be arranged, Clovz.

Maggie: FOCUS, TV SLUTS.

Arsenic Pie: I wonder what Aimee is up to these days. Still deflowering 14-year-old boys. With her withered old hooker hands. ANYWAY.

 Maggie: Sigh

Clovis: Well, on that (and seriously)... I was impressed that I think this is the first time in the show Don has, like, told the truth about something.

Arsenic Pie: I feel as though Don has grown. Maggie: I know! That was exactly what I was thinking!

Clovis: I mean, it's one thing for Megan to know his past. But it's totally something else for everyone else. He has grown, but that growth is showing how far down he really is.

Maggie: Other than when he told a few people about the Dick Whitman thing, but this was like honesty about FEELINGS. And then, oops, he gets canned.

Arsenic Pie: You always root for him (at least I do) because he's this horrible cad who lies and cheats his way through everything, but he always somehow manages to come out of it relatively unscathed. But OMG he felt more human and less of a tool. I felt bad for him. That scene at the end with Sally made me want to cry.

Maggie: That was so cold when that dude with Duck was like, "Going down?" Burn! The girl who plays Sally is amazing.

Clovis: HAHA IKR?

Maggie: Remember when she said she didn't know anything about him? That look she gave him at the end, when he finally revealed something about himself...perfect.

Arsenic Pie: OMG I wanted to hit Duck. Where did they dig him up, anyway? I thought they fired Duck ages ago.

Clovis: See, I'm from the school of thought that I want to see Don fall, so I kind of got some glee from watching him get effectively shit-canned.

Arsenic Pie: Oh, that girl has MAD acting skils. I felt like Don was going to fall eventually, but I thought it would be more in a lung cancer way.

Maggie: Also with the sick burn: Bert Cooper.

Clovis: Or liver failure.

Arsenic Pie: Or a heart attack. Really.

Clovis: Which might be where they're going now that Don's got the DTs before a meeting

Arsenic Pie: As a side note, I did like how Ted revealed his dad was a drunk. Ted is like almost the anti-Don.

Maggie: Ted is exactly the anti-Don Clovis: I feel like Ted is what Bobby could be if he grows up okay.  I read an article where Matthew Weiner said that explictly. 

Arsenic Pie: They should whip a goatee on Ted. Did he really? I did not see that article. Clovis: That makes sense. He's Don's foil a lot of the time. Plus they both use Peggy, but at least Ted is more honest about it. 

Maggie: http://insidetv.ew.com/2013/06/24/mad-men-finale-matthew-weiner/

Arsenic Pie: Because Ted could totally leave his wife for Peggy, but he chooses to stay with his wife. The Total Draper Move in that situation is to leave the wife.

Maggie: Except for when he lies about leaving his wife to get in her pants. I was SO MAD at him. Because I adored Ted...up until then.

Arsenic Pie: Or the Total Roger Sterling Move. I thought for a second that maybe he meant it, but when he went back to his wife I was like nah. He's not gonna leave his wife for Peggy. And poor Peggy. Man. 

Maggie: Peggy needs to get with Stan and stop being with unavailable guys. Stan was so adorable in his suit, waiting for Don. A

Arsenic Pie: It's what Peggy does. I love me some Stan. I hated Abe.

Maggie: Agreed.

Clovis: I actually thought they were going to have Peggy pull a role reversal on Ted

Maggie: His hair was bloody stupid.

Arsenic Pie: Abe was awful to her. He was so hairy and annoying. 

Maggie: I would have stabbed him MONTHS ago.

Clovis: Like, have Peggy be all "Well, thanks for the sex. Now get it. Mamma wants to sleep."

Arsenic Pie: I loved that she used a BAYONET.

Maggie: Peggy is old school.

Arsenic Pie Like who does that? Peggy Olson. Who has a bayonet? No one.

Maggie: I am going to add that to my OK Cupid profile. "Once stabbed an ex with a bayonet, because it was handy."

Arsenic Pie DO EEET I was totally expecting Peggy to be all over Ted and not kick him out. She wants a guy so, so, so bad.

Maggie: Can we talk for a moment about her amazing pant suit?

Arsenic Pie Or she thinks she does.

Clovis: I loved her line about "Well, isn't it nice for you to have decisions."

Arsenic Pie OMG HER PANTSUIT Yeah, bc she feels like she has no choice.

Clovis: YES! I was saying to AP earlier that it was cool that she was the first woman to see on the show wearing pants to the office.

Arsenic Pie: She has to be a career woman, not because she's Ms. Feminist, but because she knows she can't get married.

Mr. Shaw, you're trying to seduce me. 

 Maggie: She will have ALL the decisions now. The pant suit never lies.

 Arsenic Pie: I hope she takes Don's office. And is like, "This shit is mine."

 Clovis: I hope Don has to ask her for it back in season seven and she says no.

 Arsenic Pie: Side note: Did Ted get the office that Lane offed himself in? I think he did.

Maggie: Haha. I have a feeling though that Duck might get the office...

Arsenic Pie: Duck owes Peggy.

Maggie: I mean, it is still 1968, I don't know if we'll see a female head of creative.

Arsenic Pie: For sleeping with him.

Maggie: Oh, ew. I kept thinking about that too. Duck and Peggy. Girl has made some bad decisions. 

Arsenic Pie: I think she should sell hard for that job. She really has. She really has. I feel Duck owes her. 

Clovis: Peggy will still be reporting to Ted, according to Joan. But still, Peggy has pretty well positioned herself. Arsenic Pie Why did they ask him back? They fired his ass. Methinks Ted isn't going to interact with Peggy much.

Maggie: Do you think they will split next season between NYC and LA?

Clovis: They didn't ask him back - he was bringing in the other candidate that Roger chatted up in the Detroit airport back a few episodes ago.

Arsenic Pie: And she will end up ostensibly in charge and then unofficially in charge and then in charge. Ooohhh. Okay, I missed that part. But he'll worm his way back into their good graces.

Clovis: Oh totally. Duck is kinda slimey.

Maggie: KINDA?

Arsenic Pie: Duck is way smarmy.

Clovis: Heh. Word.

Arsenic Pie: They should have a smarm off

Clovis: Between Duck and Pete?

Arsenic Pie: Between Duck and Bob Benson. BOB

 Maggie: Whoever leaves the slicked slime trail wins.

 Arsenic Pie: BENSON

 Maggie: I love Bob!

 Arsenic Pie: GIVE IT UP FOR BOB BENSON

 Clovis: BOB BENSON WINS EVERYTHING!!!

 Arsenic Pie: How much do you love him???

 Maggie: He won a frilly apron! And is Joan's Big Gay Best Friend!

 Clovis: Seriously, I loved Bob Benson for his showing up Pete

 Maggie: Hahahah, that was amazing. I feel like he could go crazy, ala Single White Female though.

 Arsenic Pie: He totally showed him up and he's TOTALLY going to figure out Roger is Kevvy's real daddy, if he hasn't already.

Clovis: The thing about that was that Pete has never had to fight for anything in his life - everything's been handed to him and he doesn't know what it means to actually push for something. Bob clearly has those skills and has been using them for his entire career. Bob is also like the new and improved Don Draper

 Maggie: Sidenote: does the agency have ANY kind of vetting process for job applicants??

 Arsenic Pie He's Don 2.0. I don't think so, no. I mean, they hired Don.

 Maggie: : My point, that is it.

 Arsenic Pie: And Peggy got promoted for helping with one or two campaigns.

 Clovis: Maybe they should spend less time banging secretaries and more with their HR department

Arsenic Pie: Yeah, but that would take all the fun out of it. I think they just hire people they like and don't look into their resumes.

Maggie: Clearly. I need to work there. I can be Joan 2.0.

Arsenic Pie I want Don's bar.

Clovis: I'll take Roger's. He seems to have a rum thing going on.

Maggie: Well, then that's agreed.

Arsenic Pie: I want to be Scarlett, Pete's beleaguered secretary.

Maggie: When TV Sluts opens their corporate headquarters, we all know our place.

Arsenic Pie I love Roger. He's just such a rake

Maggie: I love John Slattery, the Silver Fox.

 Arsenic Pie: Like an unabashed, unapologetic rake.

 Clovis: I love how he's becoming outdated and doesn't really let it bother him.

 Arsenic Pie: John Slattery ftw.

 Clovis: Like, Don's worried about losing his mojo. Roger just figures if the ladies don't get him, that's their loss because he's such a catch.

Maggie: He could not give two shits. He has worn that same three-pieced suit style for 30 years, thank you very much.

 Arsenic Pie: This is why we love Roger.

Maggie: That's how I feel about my dating life. (NOT).

Arsenic Pie: Roger is the Honey Badger of Mad Men. Roger don't give a shit.

Clovis: I keep saying that the point of this show is which characters are going to make it through the 60s and which will be tanked. Roger is clearly going to make it, only because he doesn't care.

Maggie: I live in constant fear that Roger will have another heart attack.

Arsenic Pie: I am afraid Ted will kill someone with his plane. Like his wife.

Clovis: Heh. How convenient for Peggy!

Maggie: Or himself?

Arsenic Pie: How much did you love Ken Cosgrove getting Dick Cheneyed? Or all three?

Maggie: Up until this episode, I full on loved Ted. Now not so much. Poor Ken.

Arsenic Pie. I know. Poor Ken.

Clovis: I just want Ken to go write his novel.

Maggie: Remember when he had to give up his writing? Arsenic Pie: I thought he was dead.

Clovis: You know it's what he wants to do.

Maggie: His science fiction novel!

Arsenic Pie: It totally is, but he got married and has to support a kid. Yes!

Maggie: The scene of him tap dancing might be the best thing to ever happen on Mad Men.

Arsenic Pie: Didn't he try to write an episode of Star Trek or am I imagining things? I loved the tap dancing scene.

Clovis: I want him to get it published and then rub it in Pete's face by asking for an endorsement quote for the dust jacket.

Arsenic Pie: He should get an Emmy for that. Oh poor Ken Cosgrove.

Maggie: So, question.

Arsenic Pie: ?

Maggie: Did you all think the season ended on a hopeful note for Don?

Arsenic Pie: I think so.

Maggie: With everything else in free fall, at least he seemed to be opening up to his kids.

Arsenic Pie: He's losing all of his material stuff, but I think he might be able to connect with his kids on some level.

Clovis: I think it ended with him (almost) at rock bottom, almost becoming Dick Whitman again. Whether or not he still has more to fall, I'm not sure.

Arsenic Pie: And his relationship with Betty has improved since the hate sex.

Maggie: But remember how we felt at the end of Season 1, the hopefulness of the Kodak carousel speech? And then that obviously didn't take.

Arsenic Pie: The thing we know about Don is that he can always bounce back.

Clovis: He can bounce back because he always has the trappings of what he believes makes him the impressive man. He's now losing those things.

Maggie: Excellent point. Do you think he could pull a Dick Whitman and now and just leave it all behind and reinvent himself?

Arsenic Pie Right, but I think he has the intellect and fortitude to rise above things, even if he isn't an important Manhattan ad exec. He's done it before. It took major cahones to pretend to be Don Draper in the first place.

Clovis: I think he could, but I don't know if he will. He values himself only in how others see him. He may not be able to pull himself back together without the encouragement of his own youth.

Maggie: I honestly don't know if he would be willing to abandon his kids.

Clovis: Well, Sally maybe. The other two? Who knows?

Maggie: He has had a couple kid revelations this season, like when he took Bobby to the movies.

Clovis: What are their names again? Billy... something.... ;)

Maggie: Sally, Bobby, and Gene.

Arsenic Pie: I feel like if he's more centered if he has people depending on him and he cares about them in a real way, not in an "I have to" way. Well we only care about Sally.

Maggie: Don's just going to return them to the SC&P Prop Department, let's be honest. *shakes head* 

Arsenic Pie: Sally's the only one worth keeping.

Maggie: I dunno, I kind of like Bobby.

Clovis: Literally, since the others have been played by multiple actors.

Maggie: He had some interesting things in the Planet of the Apes episode, he seems like a good kid.

Arsenic Pie: I like the new Bobby. I hope he sticks around. Although he looks like a Brady kid to me. He looks like Peter Brady and Opie had a love child.

Clovis: Somehow Sally has grown into a teenager and Bobby is still perennially 8 years old.

Maggie: I....never really paid attention to what he looked like to be honest. Do we think this is it for Don and Megan?

Arsenic Pie: I didn't even know they had a new Bobby until I looked it up. I hope so. I'm tired of Megan. I know what her purpose is on the show. But she is really boring.

Clovis: I was never a big Megan fan. I know she isn't going anywhere because Matthew Weiner is obsessed with her, but I do hope this is the end of the marriage.

Maggie: Huh, I always liked her. Mostly because she didn't put up with Don's shit....at least the stuff she knew about.

Arsenic Pie: I liked her on that level -- the not putting up with Don's shit level -- but I feel like she's the least interesting of the female characters. Yet she gets the most screen time.

Clovis: Agreed. 

Maggie: Also, she's Canadian.

Arsenic Pie: Yes, I caught that. Since they mention it.

Clovis: Did we really need a year of her quest to become an actress at the expense of Peggy and Joan? 

Arsenic Pie: All the time. I fucking love her mom, though. If for nothing else, Juliette Binoche as Marie is pretty classic.

Maggie: Some follow through with Joan would have been nice. I assume she got Avon, but really they needed more of THAT this season. More Joan, plz.

Arsenic Pie: Yeah, WTF happened with Avon? They just dropped that plotline.

Clovis: OMG SPEAKING OF MOMS - How much did we love the Mother Overboard development? 

Arsenic Pie: Did she land the account or what? OMG PETE'S MOM OVERBOARD!!!!!!!!!!

Maggie: Apparently, Matthew Weiner thinks it's obvious to the audience that she got the account.

Clovis: I seriously LOLd at that, you guys.

Maggie: That was ridiculous (Pete's Mom) Poor Pete, he is never going to be able to travel ANYWHERE by air or sea.

Arsenic Pie: That was some legit Downton Abbey realness. PEOPLE DO NOT FALL OFF BOATS. 

Clovis: RIGHT!!!!! Maggie: Actually.... It happened on a cruise ship I was on.

Arsenic Pie: Are you serious?

Maggie: Yep.

Arsenic Pie: Did they die?

Maggie: That's the assumption.

Arsenic Pie: Hahahahaha. Omg.

Maggie: If you are in the middle of the ocean and someone comes up missing...

Arsenic Pie: Holy crap.

Clovis: It still happens. proof:

Maggie: I don't think it's actually that uncommon.

Arsenic Pie: Maybe not uncommon, but rare.

Maggie: Especially on cruises with older people. Oops, there goes Grandma!

Clovis: You have to admit, though, it's totally something this show would do. It veers from ultra realism to total absurdity sometimes.

Arsenic Pie: I feel like Pete's mom is going to show up in Venezuela. With a cabana boy.

Maggie: What is the deal with her marrying Manolo??

Clovis: Who's name wasn't even Manolo!

Maggie: Do we think he married and then murdered her for her money??

Arsenic Pie: I just figured Manolo was after her money.

Maggie: I didn't really get what was going on there.

Arsenic Pie: Which Pete and Bud aren't going to let him have.

Clovis: Or because Manolo wanted to stay in the US. Arsenic Pie: If she even has any. Clovis: After all, Manolo knew that Pete was paying all Mother's bills.

Maggie: True. Arsenic Pie: He had to know Mother really didn't have money, or didn't have control of the money. Maybe he's a psychopath.

Maggie: But then why would he marry her? That whole thing was so weird.

Arsenic Pie: And as we know he is gay...

Maggie: Mad Men definitely became more soap operaish, probably because of Megan.

Clovis: Although I feel like that story's likely done. It would be American Horror Story level ridiculous to bring Mother back next season after spending the summer on Gilligan's Island or whatever.

Arsenic Pie: It's totes what happens on soaps.

Clovis: True.

Arsenic Pie: Why doesn't Megan just go to LA?

Clovis: I think she's going to.

Arsenic Pie: Like, she cold leave. No one's stopping her.

Maggie: I think so too. I do think they will have to split the show between LA and NYC.

Arsenic Pie: I was kind of pissed at her for telling Don his kids are screwed up. I mean they are screwed up.

Clovis: Don's pathetic "we'll be bi-coastal" excuse wasn't cutting it for her.

Arsenic Pie: No, she should just go.

Maggie: She instantly felt bad about saying that though. To be fair, they were in the middle of a fight.

Clovis: Yeah, but you know she's been holding that one in a while. She's been overly patient with the kids, Sally in particular, several times.

Arsenic Pie: Well, I can see how she might resent them. Like, Don's left her alone with the kids several times. Several times when she'd been expecting him to be there. And Megan's not really cut out to be a mom. And doesn't want to be, really.

Maggie: Yeah, I thought it was a totally understandable and realistic comment to make in that situation. And so was her response immediately after.

Clovis: Yeah, agreed.

Arsenic Pie: I still want her to leave. ;)

Clovis: I think Megan's generally a nice person. I just am kinda at a loss for what else to do with her story, you know?

Maggie: I guess we'll find out next year!

 Arsenic Pie: There's nothing you can do with her, really. She's nice and good.

 Maggie: Maybe she'll get hit by lightning.

 Arsenic Pie: And that's about it. Or STABBED

 Clovis: HAHAHAHA. By Pete's mother

 Maggie: Or kidnapped.

 Arsenic Pie: Back from Venezuela. AND OMG SHE MISTAKES MEGAN FOR TRUDY.

 Clovis: With Manolo's twin.

 Arsenic Pie: AND STABS HER.

 Maggie: I would watch that show.

 Arsenic Pie: I would watch the shit out of that.

 Clovis: Agreed a thousand times.

At this point, Maggie Cats had to leave the chat in order to work on her Syfy movie draft, which I can't yet  reveal all the secrets of, but I can say that it involves rabid snakes invading Lake Superior. Yes. Rabid. Snakes. You're welcome, America.

Clovis: I totally want to hear what you think of the whole season.

Arsenic Pie: Well, I think it was better than last season. And plenty of OMG and WTF moments to go around. I live for those. But I felt like there should have been more Joan and more Betty.

Clovis: Agreed.

Arsenic Pie: I liked that we saw a lot of Peggy.

Clovis: The women characters are so much more interesting than the men, I think.

Arsenic Pie: But honestly...less Megan.

Clovis: HAHAHA totally. I didn't like how last year became The Megan Show.

Arsenic Pie: Legit. I'm sure she's nice and all, but less Megan. It was The Megan Show. I don't hate her, I just think the other female characters on the show are more interesting. I did like how they focused on Sally. Because she kills it on that show.

Clovis: I feel like Matthew Weiner was tricked out over January Jones and so gave her all this screen time that she hadn't earned because she's not that great of an actress. Then when Jones got a boyfriend that wasn't Weiner, he found another actress to obsess over. Sally is totally the character that you just want to see what happens to her. Like, I really want to see a postscript with a 60-year-old Sally in the modern day and see what becomes of her life.

 Arsenic Pie: I feel like he's unnecessarily mean to Peggy. Sally will be divorced three times. With four kids. Three of whom hate her.

 Clovis: Exactly. I feel like sometimes Peggy really gets written as the Ball Buster or something.

 Arsenic: I feel like JJ is a better actress than Jessica Pare. The thing is, Peggy isn't even a feminist. She wants to get married and have kids. She just can't. Not a feminist in the traditional sense.

 Clovis: Yeah, I probably agree. And I don't think JJ is that great. Jessica Pare just doesn't have a lot of talent aside from looking pretty and playing one or two rote emotions. Yeah, true on Peggy.

 Arsenic Pie: I don't even think JP is that pretty, honestly. She's horsey. JJ is prettier.

 Clovis: It's true.

 Arsenic Pie: It is. Girl's got a horse face. Anyway, yeah. Peggy isn't the single-minded career woman who chooses work over family.

 Clovis: Seriously. She's getting by a lot on the fact that she speaks French and so has other skills to work with.

Arsenic Pie: She has no choice. If she wants goodies she has to earn them. I get annoyed when she speaks French. It's like they think we forget she's French so they have to remind us.

Clovis: Exactly. Plus, she's willing to do whatever for a man. She was all "Oh, you want to live in a hovel but give me babies, Abe? Okay!"

Arsenic Pie: But Juliette Binoche is hysterical. She is. She will bend over backwards for a guy, unless it's Pete.

Clovis: Haha. Pete.

 Arsenic Pie: Hahahaha. Pete.

Clovis: You screwed the pooch on that one, buddy. 

Arsenic Pie: Eventually, I will feel sorry for Pete. That day has not arrived.

Clovis: God I hate watching Pete and his tantrums. I mean, I like how he's written because it's good that the audience is allowed to dislike him and he is given depths. But dude.

Arsenic Pie: I felt so bad for his mom. He was so mean to her. I don't even dislike Pete. I think he's hilarious.

Clovis: Can I also say that I just really want Bob Benson to totally smack Pete down?

Arsenic Pie: Oh, totally. Bob Benson is my new hero. That actor reminds me of Jason Sudeikis so I have a hard time taking Bob Benson seriously.

Clovis: Vincent Kartheiser does a really wonderful job of showing how false Pete is when he's trying to be smarmy. He also plays Pete as someone who totally idolized Don Draper without understanding that he's looking in the wrong direction of history. Ironically, Bob is the character that is most like Don, but is doing Don Draper better than Don Draper does right now.

Arsenic Pie: They should make a Bob Benson action figure.

 Clovis: I would buy that action figure. Especially if it came with the self-help records.

Arsenic Pie: And the headphones. Someone put us in charge of AMC merch.

 Clovis: Right?!?!

 Arsenic Pie: I love how Bob is another Don Draper, and it disgusts Pete so much to meet people like Don and Bob. Because as you say, Pete has had everything handed to him. And Don and Bob may lie, but they work for what they have.

 Clovis: And Pete sees them as being not worthy because they aren't the right kind of person.

 Arsenic Pie: Yes, and also because he's puritanical and sees himself as the moral center. Whereas everyone else is morally bankrupt.

 Clovis: Despite being equally as bankrupt as everyone else.

 Arsenic Pie: Or more so.

 Clovis: "Know thyself" is not advice he ever thought worth taking, clearly.

 Arsenic Pie: Pete justifies everything in his head, and when things go wrong for him, then he thinks other people are out to get him. Like, he would not take the time to get adequate care for his mother, so he hires Manolo. Then blames Bob for things going haywire.

 Clovis: That's totally his MO - take the easy way out that will get him the most benefit for the least work and then never accept responsibility. That particular track was brought out most i thought when he was one of the biggest advocates of prostituting Joan out so that they could get a wealthy client.

 Arsenic Pie: Oh, he was all for that. And Don was against it. Don is the only guy in that office who has never hit on Joan. He either doesn't sexualize her or he respects her, or both. Well maybe with the exception of Bert Cooper, but I doubt his engines fire anymore.

Clovis: Exactly. The one time he sorta kinda did (when he took her out to drive around in the jaguar) even then it wasn't really something he was aiming for. And Joan, to her credit, refers to Don as "irresistible", but can resist him perfectly fine herself because she knows what it would be like to be with him.

Arsenic Pie: It's so weird how he's never disrespected her, when practically every man disrespects Joan. 

Clovis: I wonder if that's because, despite his own treatment of women, he knows what it's like to be around women who have to work for afford their lives.

Arsenic Pie: I feel like he respects Joan, and he doesn't respect women in general. But he doesn't respect Peggy.

 Clovis: I mean, Joan's no prostitute, even that one client aside, but there are similarities. Yeah, true. But he kinda does - he values her a lot. He just doesn't know how to show it. His need to manipulate her always wins out.

 Arsenic Pie: He treats Peggy the way he treats his male colleagues. And Peggy takes it personally.

Clovis: My favorite scene in the entire series so far is the one last season where she tells him she's leaving and for the first time, he actually shows affection to her, partially as a tactic, but also because he knows that he's lost her and he'll never get her back, really.

 Arsenic Pie: I guess I should say he doesn't treat Peggy with the same respect he shows Joan. He won't. Don was her mentor and he didn't give her what she felt she was entitled to. Now I think she's just going to take it. Instead of waiting for a man to give it to her.

Clovis: I hope so. I mean, It's easy to make Peggy the stand-in for feminism when, as you say, she isn't, really. But she's one of the characters that I really like, so I really want her to come out on top of this. 

Arsenic Pie: She's way not a stand-in for feminism. I was really hoping things would work out with Ted. Then I realized what a tool he is.

 Clovis: What about that massive turn around?

 Arsenic Pie: She's the Edith.

 Clovis: It only took him, what, half a day after sleeping with Peggy to be all like "shit, I've got to go to California. Haha, she so is.

 Arsenic Pie: Ikr. First he was like, "I don't love my wife. I love you." Then he figured he had to stay with her. Out of what? Pity? Inertia? I feel like Peggy can't catch a break.

 Clovis: Little of column A, little of column B?

Arsenic Pie: Maybe.

 Clovis: I also found it interesting that this is the first time we've seen Peggy really play up her sex appeal. Arsenic Pie: HAHA I LOVED THAT

 Clovis:  Peggy NEVER toys around with sex, probably because of what happened with Pete.

Arsenic Pie: When she walked into that office full of dudes. 

Clovis: But she did this time and did it FULL FORCE

 Arsenic Pie: AND SHE WAS DRESSED LIKE A PLAYBOY BUNNY. No, she is all business, all the time. I thought that was awesome. She owned that shit. And you know it is prolly the first time people like Cutler took any notice of her.

 Clovis: Yeah, exactly. Also, fucking Harry Crane. That guy can't resist throwing in a stupid, sexist statement, can he?

 Arsenic Pie: No, he really cannot

 Clovis: He refers to every woman as a "sex kitten" if they do anything more than be dumpy. 

Arsenic Pie: I like how we've never seen his wife. Like ever.

 Clovis: That said, I actually kind of like Harry. I just think he's a putz.

 Arsenic Pie: Harry's an idiot, but a lovable one.

 Clovis: I know, right? We've seen the secretaries he's slept with, but never his family.

 Arsenic Pie: Supposedly, he has a wife. I don't think we've seen Ken's wife, either. We've met Trudy.

 Clovis: And you just know that he was angling to become partner so he could run the LA office. Now I guess he's out of that running.

 Arsenic Pie: We've met Trudy a bunch. Nah, there are too many sharks in that office for Harry to be in charge of anything. He doesn't have the balls.

Clovis: I love Trudy, BTW. But then, it's Allison Brie, who everyone loves.

 Arsenic Pie: Who doesn't love Allison Brie? No one. That's who.

 Clovis: Only a fucking monster, that's who.

FUCK YOU, SARAH MACLACHLAN.

 Arsenic Pie: HER LAST NAME IS CHEESE. A DELICIOUS CHEESE. I also love Trudy. I loved it when she kicked Pete out.

 Clovis: I KNOW RIGHT!!!

Arsenic Pie: SHE WAS SO PISSED.

 Clovis: I know we haven't seen everything from her perspective, but she's also the only one who's kicked out the husband and not given a fuck about it. She's been all like "screw you guys, I'm going home" over this and content to raise her kid on her own.

 Arsenic Pie: And she was one of the most conservative and traditional women on the show. At least, that's how she was presented. She did her little early 60's housewife thing. She even told Pete when she kicked him out that she'd expected that he'd cheat on her.

 Clovis: She's barreling into the 1970's full steam ahead.

 Arsenic Pie: She is Trudy. Hear her RAWR. It's going to be all Garp, all the time at that house now.

Clovis: For realz.

Arsenic Pie: Fo shiznit.

At this point, both Clovis and I had to leave the chat in order to don our parkas and grab our harpoons en route to Siberia to save some wayward nerpas, who were in an advanced state of distress.

EHERMAGEHRD. THA CUHTE!

The Great White Targaryen

Hello, readers! Clovis here. Because we got such a great reaction from our conversation about the Game of Thrones episode “The Rains of Castamere”, Maggie Cats and I are reprising our conversation for this week’s season finale, “Mhysa”. In it, we discuss the continued fallout from the Red Wedding, King Joffrey’s umpteen millionth temper tantrum, Arya Stark’s ongoing journey into badassery, and the uncomfortable racial politics of Daenerys Targaryen’s quest to liberate all of the people who are darker-skinned than she is.

It should go without saying that there are major spoilers ahead and you should not read if you haven’t already watched the final episodes of this season, or if spoilers are just not a thing that you worry your pretty head about. Spoilers from the books are completely absent, however, as I haven’t read them either.

Do enjoy!

 Maggie Cats:  It pains me to admit it, but I was underwhelmed by the finale. I feel bad saying that, since coming off the events of the Rains of Castamere how could it be anything BUT a bit underwhelming.

 Clovis:  I'm inclined to agree. That could partially be because of the hugeness of the Red Wedding, but it just felt a little too much like a coda.

 Maggie Cats:  It felt like a season premiere. Instead of some journey's end...it felt like a bunch of journeys’ beginnings.

 Clovis:  I kept thinking that the season should have ended with that horrible shot of Cat dying and then this would have been an appropriate re-introduction.

 Maggie Cats:  Exactly. I guess there were other characters that had things going on after the Red Wedding that they wanted to get to in a finale...but can you imagine if the image of Cat dying had been the last thing you saw for a year?

 Clovis:  It would have been EPIC. That said, however, I really liked the opening scene. Seeing the carnage still going on was a really good way of keeping the impact of the deaths strong. I also had a seriously sick-to-my-stomach reaction seeing that they had defiled Robb's body the way they did.

 Maggie Cats:  Definitely. That's from the books, and I was wondering if they were going to go there. As a non-book reader, was it clear to you it was Robb's body?

 Clovis:  Oh yeah. The wolf's head really did what it was supposed to do. Also, for people like me for whom the wolves remind me of my family dog, it was doubly heart-breaking. Lay off the Direwolves, people! 

Human slaughter is one thing, but puppy murder is a bridge too far!

 Maggie Cats:  The way you could see the strings/thread holding it on was SICK. But in more lighthearted news, it's nice to see Arya has picked up a sidekick in the Hound. Bron and Tyrion as the wacky sitcom couple is sooooo 2012. This year it's the Arya and Clegane show!

 Clovis:   I kind of want Arya and the Hound in a spin-off series all to themselves. Like an 80s buddy cop movie.

 Maggie Cats:  You want EVERYTHING to be a 80s buddy cop movie.

 Clovis:  It's true. I'm willing to die on that hill.

 Maggie Cats:  I think you watched too much Lethal Weapon.

 Clovis:  Also guilty as charged. But in either case, I really liked the Arya gets stabby scene.

 Maggie Cats:  Yes. I mean, the audience knows she is a total BAMF, but this was kind of the Hound's first time seeing was she can actually do.

 Clovis:  I loved that the Hound's reaction wasn't "dude, don't kill people." but "dude, let me know when you're going to do this next time, mkay?"

 Maggie Cats:  Well, he can't really throw stones on the whole "not killing people” thing. He is good sidekick material for her.

 Clovis:  Exactly. And he's definitely building a grudging respect for her.

 Maggie Cats:  I don't really remember too well where their story is going, so I hope the writers give us some more moment like that. I love how all these people are like Arya's mortal enemies (like Tywin) but then they meet her and are like, "dude, this kid is awesome." Arya would so be Facebook friends with all the Lannisters.

 Clovis:  Can I also say how much I loved her "this is the first man I've killed..." qualifier, just moving right past that boy she killed a few seasons ago.

 Maggie Cats:  Yeah! She did a good job too with it. Go for the arteries.

 Clovis:  Definitely. Sister don't play, you know?

"Make 'em pay... make 'em all pay..."

 Maggie Cats:  What did you think about Bran meeting up with Sam? I appreciated that they established right away that Sam knew exactly who he was. Sam = smart.

 Clovis:  I was actually really relieved with that - I get that the story is about how all these people are being separated from each other, but it was nice to have a couple of the storylines converge, even if just for a little bit. Basically I felt like some of these characters have earned the right to meet back up with their compatriots or at least hear, like Bran did, that they're still alive.

 Maggie Cats:  Agreed. And I am glad that Sam hung on to the dragonglass. It wasn't clear. And then he just started pulling it out of every pocket and I was like, "ok, then."

 Clovis:  Yes! I thought he dropped it back when he took out the White Walker and I was like, "SAM! YOU LOVEABLE FOOL YOU!"

 Maggie Cats:  Point of order: in the books, Sam kills the White Walker (called "the others") in front of the Night's Watch guys. They dub him Sam the Slayer. I kind of miss people calling him Slayer; he deserves props.

 Clovis:  See, I wish they could have kept that detail. Not to hate on Gilly, but she's not exactly the most enthralling of travelling partners, you know?

 Maggie Cats:  Ah, bless. She is not the sharpest tool in the shed. And you just KNEW Sam would fall for the first woman to ever talk to him.

 Clovis:  Oh totally, bless his heart. I did seriously LOL at Sam being all, "hey, my vows are intact - it's not my kid" and then Gilly is like, "I named him Sam!" <facepalm>

 Maggie Cats:  STFU Gilly! You are Not. Helping.

"Sorry if my joy at being free from a life of constant rape and repression has me caring a little less about you saving face in front of your boss."

 Clovis:  I didn't realize that the Maester they were talking to was actually a Targaryen! I think I saw that on the added features when I was watching the episode. I liked how that connected, though.

 Maggie Cats:  I feel that they was mentioned way back in the first season when Jon was talking to him. But yes, he is actually the last man of the Dragon line. It was a conversation about how you have to give up all ties when you join the Watch. And he chose to not get involved in the war when Robert overthrew the Targareyns. When Jon was all, "they killed my Father, RAWR!"

 Clovis:  Ahhh, gotcha. Still, good world-building, you know?

 Maggie Cats: If there is one thing Song of Ice and Fire is good at....is world-building. And killing people. Often at the same time!

 Clovis:  Speaking of which (on both counts) can we talk Dany for a second?

 Maggie Cats:  Oh, you mean her 5 seconds of screen time?

 Clovis:  In fairness, it was an impressive five seconds. She can literally be like, "Nuthin. Was on screen for two minutes. Freed an entire cadre of slaves. U?"

 Maggie Cats:  I dunno, it seemed a little to "the great white hope" to me. It comes directly from the books, but the visual rubbed me the wrong way.

 Clovis:  THANK YOU! That's where I was going with this.

 Maggie Cats:  It all makes sense, the people live in the desert so of course they are browner and she is all pale and silver...but still. The picture of it was a little squicky.

 Clovis:  Exactly. And there's been some rumbling around the corners of the interwebs to that exact effect. Here's a good example. Short version, the author argues that Dany's entire "White Woman of Privilege Leads the Savages Out of Darkness" is really, really discomforting.

 Maggie Cats:  True. But on the other hand...and god, I hope this does not come off as racist....if you look at our world, and if you are dealing with a nomadic tribal people who live in the desert...I mean, how else are we supposed to make them look? I think the problem is that you establish Westeros as a land full of white people, when we move the action to another land...what are you supposed to do to differentiate?

 Clovis:  That's why this vein of discussion about Dany's story and the GoT world in general is interesting to me - one of the counterpoints to that article is that the Dothraki are not depicted as brutes and savages, but are shown to have culture, society, character. Contrast that to the great pains they take to show that the white European stand-ins are arguably way more barbaric in their actions in Westeros and it makes for a confounding argument. Likewise, as some of the commentators pointed out, the Wildlings are wholly described as barbaric and uncivilized...and universally white.

 Maggie Cats:  Tywin Lannister and Joffrey are basically the most horrible people in the story. And they are white as the day is long.

 Clovis:  I'm personally reserving judgment on the racial politics of the show (and books) until they're done. It's hard to argue one way or another about the author's or filmmakers' intentions until you know the whole story.

 Maggie Cats:  I think we're all just bringing our own bullshit to the story.

 Clovis:  Yeah, agreed.

 Maggie Cats:  The people arguing that the depiction of the Dothraki and other peoples is racist...probably don't stop to think about how horrible the white people are in the story. Is it racist to show the white people living in a medieval feudal society? I mean, I don't know--I'm not advocating anything in this discussion. Just that the image of the Dany as the great white hope struck me as a viewer and was a bit discomforting.

Inside the GOP's wet dreams.

 Clovis:  Completely agreed. It's hard to have a lot of medieval white people tropes. They didn't make a lot of youtube videos back then.

 Maggie Cats:  Oh, please, there are medieval white people tropes coming out the ass of this show. The evil Queen, the innocent princess, the knight who is a savage...But almost all fantasy is.

 Clovis:  Very true. I stand corrected. I was thinking in terms of "embarrassing white people tropes" of which there are many, just harder to nail down for the time.

 Maggie Cats:  How about white people dancing at a wedding? Or playing basketball? Next season on Game of Thrones....

 Clovis:  EXACTLY! Of course, white people did behave pretty badly at the last Westerosi wedding we saw...

 Maggie Cats:  HA! And there is another wedding coming up! Speaking of Joffrey, that kid is OUT OF CONTROL. I think Tywin is starting to get actually concerned. The day is coming when he is not going to go to his room when he is told.

 Clovis:  How much did you love the "the King is up past his bedtime" conversation?

 Maggie Cats:  Um, it was AMAZEBALLS.

 Clovis:  The dynamic between Joffrey and Tywin is so much fun to watch. Since Cersei is so obviously incompetent at raising her own child.

Image courtesy of awkwardfamilyphotos.westeros.com 

 Maggie Cats:  I did love the little moment between her and Tyrion though.

 Clovis:  Absolutely. Just when I start to hate Cersei, she goes and throws in a glimmer of something that makes her feel sympathetic, in this case honestly talking about how her memories of a young Joffrey are the only things that keep her alive and that even the cruel, adult version of her son can’t take that from her. Jesus, it was just heart-breaking.

 Maggie Cats:  That is one lonely bitch. The only person she has to talk to is someone she loathes. Not that she doesn't bring it on herself, but still. In the books you don't really get these kind of moments with her character until Book 4, so I like that we are getting more of it in the show.

 Clovis:  She needs a girlfriend to, like, get mani-pedis with or something. Too bad all the women of King's Landing are terrified of her.

 Maggie Cats:  Or she threatens to have horribly murdered. She might want to work on her friendship style.

 Clovis:  Yeah, she needs some life-coaching. Starting with "whatsay you not sleep with your brother so much?"

 Maggie Cats:  Arya should be her life coach! Wackiness ensues.

 Clovis:   Although we all know Arya would be leading Cersei into some kind of Rube Goldberg-ian trap to have her slaughtered terribly. Arya is probably not the best person to be the guardian of Cersei's physical or emotional wellbeing.

 Maggie Cats:  OK, fair enough. I can't wait to see how the Cersei/Jamie dynamic has changed now. Too bad we have to wait AN ENTIRE YEAR.

 Clovis:  I know. He's changed so much in the time he's gone, physically and emotionally. I have to admit, I've been doing some background reading on Jaime and I've developed more of a sympathetic eye for him. I feel like his entire life has been about him basically doing the hard thing that no one else would do and then just taking the shit that gets dolled out for it. I know it's not been in the show as much, but reading about his role in basically preserving the city of King's Landing when the Mad King wanted to burn the entire place to the ground rather than let Robert have it goes a long way to explaining why Jaime killed the king.

 Maggie Cats:  Another great example of hidden depths. The people in Westeros like to assign labels to people ("Kingslayer") but then it's not always accurate or fair. But then you have to remember...he pushed Bran out of a tower.

 Clovis:  Exactly. Just when I start to like him a bit...

 Maggie Cats:  I love the layers! Like a delicious parfait of incest and bravery! I've said too much.

 Clovis:  So, looking ahead to season four, can I make a few wild guesses about what I'd like to see without any confirmation from those who have read the books? I have to believe that we've got more character deaths coming and my sincere hope is that they'll pair the deaths of people we like with maybe at least one or two that we're ready to get rid of. That said, my money is on Shae and Littlefinger not making it out of season four alive.

 Maggie Cats:  Hmmmm. That's all you'll get from me.

 Clovis:  Varys pretty much established that if Shae sticks around, she's going to cause problems for Tyrion. That doesn't bode well, in my mind. Littlefinger seems to me to be overplaying his hand, and so far whenever we've seen that, it doesn't go well for the character in question.

 Maggie Cats:  Do you think Tyrion was involved in the offer to get Shae to leave town? She seemed to think he was. I would also just like to point out, that stuff we don't know about Varys until book 5 was in the show from the very beginning. And I think it was better for it.

 Clovis:  Varys is such a manipulator, but one that has let slip that he does actually like and respect Tyrion. I think he tried to get Shae out of town because he honestly wants Tyrion alive and capable and thinks those two are together it won’t happen.

 Maggie Cats:  Mostly his motivation to protect the realm and his contacts across the sea. I don't remember Varys trying to get Shae to leave being the book, so I agree. Tyrion was not involved.

"Just because I'm a whore doesn't mean you can buy my love. Oh hey wait..."

 Clovis:  Another point in my mind for Shae not being long for this world, there's sort of an unwritten rule for this story, which is if something can go wrong to make Tyrion's life worse, for God's sake let it happen. Shae dying would fit that bill well.

 Maggie Cats:  Awwww. Also, true. I wish you could see me, I am clapping my hands in anticipation for you to see what is going to happen. The term "fiendish glee" might be appropriate.

 Clovis:  So aside from that, I have to hope that season four will bring us more of Arya being awesome (no brainer, there), Bran continuing his vision quest and, please God, more Margaery Tyrell (and her grandmother) being charmingly manipulative. Shall we wrap this up with an eager eye to next season, then?

 Maggie Cats:  Yes; despite the underwhelming finale, I am very excited for where the story is going. So by that definition, it was successful. There is some great stuff coming! I look forward to watching the internet explode some more.

 Clovis:  Yeah, me too. Certainly a lot to discuss.

And with that, onward to season four, my good people! Coming…Spring of 2014. L <sad trombone>