The next American Idol is...meh.

American Idol crowned its ninth winner last night. But does anyone still care?

I know I don't.

I actually only watched the show during the first season (Kelly Clarkson woot!), but I at least followed the coverage of past seasons so I could be up on the current happs. But I couldn't even bring myself to put that much effort into it this year. With Simon heading out for greener X Factor pastures, I'm wondering if Idol's time is coming to an end. To be sure it's still the top rated show, but it doesn't seem to be having the culture impact as in years past. And with Simon gone and the talent pool seeming to be growing ever smaller, I think the end might be nigh. But this could be one of those instances where a tiny portion of the blogosphere declares something dead and it remains huge to the rest of Americans for years. It's just been off my radar for so long, I'm not sure what to think.

Are any of you guys still watching the show? If so, weigh in on what you think in the comments. And what's the deal with this Lee fellow? He seems cute, but I've never heard him sing and the folks over at Entertainment Weekly and Television Without Pity are not impressed.

My Two Cents on Lost

... are borrowed from someone else. But all the other kids were posting!

Seriously, sometimes I feel like I'm the only nerd person on the planet who hasn't been watching this show religiously. Moreover, I haven't even seen a full episode. GASP! So I'll leave the analysis to people like my friend Priya, who has not only watched every episode (twice) but has recapped them all on her blog, thisiswhatcomesnext.wordpress.com. Check out her magnum opus on the show: "Lost... and Found." See what she did there?

So long, Lost. We'll always have the merchandising.

Vindication, yo.

Before we chat about how AWESOME the Lady Gage episode of Glee was this week (seriously, Bad Romance is now my favorite performance number of theirs), guest-blogger Jason is going to run a few victory laps. Why? Read this post of his, and then read on below!


We've done it, people. We spoke and the powers that be listened. The clip below is exactly what I was talking about when I said that the best thing that Glee could do for itself is start airing webisodes featuring Sue Motherfucking Sylvester explaining today's modern social ills and the methods for surviving them. WE HAVE OVERCOME!

Lost...again

Hey folks...I didn't weigh in on the Lost series finale because I was QUITE IRATE. Nothing was answered and to prove it College Humor put together the below video.

I think it portrays my opinion better than I ever could.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Blossom!

Last night was the season finale of the Big Bang Theory. For those of you who don't watch the show, you should. Actually, if you are a dork in the slightest this show is for you. There are constant Star Trek, comics, and Joss Whedon references.

The finale last night was not its best episode, but it was good. There was fun witty banter between Penny and Leonard. Additionally, Sarah Gilbert made another fun cameo. I like her on the show because it is a nice flash back to Darlene and David on Roseanne. *Spoiler* Penny and Leonard did not get back together, which I liked but did become a variation of friends with benefits.

The highlight of the show, hands down, was the cameo of Mayim Bialik. TV's Blossom appeared as a possible romantic interest for our asexual Sheldon. Set up as a blind date through on online dating site, the interaction between the two was hilarious.

Check out Big Bang Theory's Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD.

in which I return, and LOST departs

(NB: I haven't yet read Maggie's post about LOST -- or anybody else's on the entire Internet, for that matter. I am trying to let my thoughts settle in before they are colored by anyone else's influence. So if this is totally repetitive: I apologize; it was not my intent.)

I have some thoughts about LOST.

First, on an emotional level, dear GOD what a gut-punch last night's finale was. I was a weepy mess for easily the whole last half. Intellectually I realize that showing each character, or couple, have a moment of joyous revelation was some serious string-pulling by the writers, but on an emotional level I Just. Didn't. Care. The moment when Sun and Jin remember everything they've been through and weep with happiness over having found their way back to each other? Priceless. And for all my hating on Charlie back in the day, his look when he saw Claire in the audience at the concert just stopped me dead. Bless that little hobbit's heart. But the moment that got me most of all? When Sawyer and Juliet literally blew out the lights when they touched. I mean, holy cats. "I got you, baby." Tears everywhere.

I was also immensely satisfied to see Kate actually choose a dude. I will confess to being a little surprised that it was Jack (not least because it might have been nice to see her get shot down by a still-grieving Sawyer one more time), but I appreciate that we got a little resolution to the love triangle at the end. Also, when Kate shot Smokey on the cliff when Jack couldn't follow through, I loved that for once Kate had some agency above and beyond waffling over boys or running away from situations she couldn't control.

But possibly my favorite thing about the finale was the sense that redemption is within the reach of anyone who wants it, as long as you're willing to acknowledge your flaws and work on being a better person. Each one of these people was massively imperfect, and yet all of them (with the exception of Ben, which is a whole 'nother story) managed to find redemption in the end. For some it took death directly at the Island's hands (Shannon, Boone); for others it took sacrifice to save others' lives (Sayid, Jack); but for everyone on the Island -- or at least everyone in the final scene -- the salvation they found was reached not through faith in any one particular god or religion. It was, for lack of a better term, belief in the Church of Being a Better Person. "Christian Shepherd" and the walking-into-the-light mythology notwithstanding, I found real resonance in the suggestion that all these people, some of whom had done extravagantly terrible things, managed to salvage themselves not by buying into a pre-arranged religion but by realizing within themselves both that they could be better and that they ought to, for their own sakes and for the people closest to them.

So I will buy that the last message of LOST is to believe in your own innate worth and ability to be a little better tomorrow than you were today. As a send-off for these characters, Lindelof & Cuse did them right; as Christian pointed out to Jack in that pivotal scene before he enters the sanctuary, the people he knew on the Island were his most important, most formative connections. That the way each of them had to "remember" was by re-making those connections speaks volumes not only about those characters' importance to each other, but also to a larger point the show seems to have been making all along: No one lives in a vacuum. Even on the very paradigm of a deserted island, the relationships you build with the people around you have the power to make you a better person, to save you.

The End

Last night was The End. As in, the last episode of LOST. Ever. Let's just take a moment and let that sink in.

.....

Ok, moving on. I watched the episode in what I thought was the perfect environment: at a friend's house surrounded by fans of the show sipping on some Dharma beer. The viewing party was hosted by my friend Jon (shout out!) and it was one of the few times I have watched LOST with a group. It certainly added to the experience, what with the gasping, clapping, laughing, OMGing, and general excitement. But even if you watched the show alone at home, I bet you have some thoughts. I mean we are talking about an often confusing but always thought-provoking show here.

Alright, first things first. What actually happened on the finale? The first question you probably had was, "what?" when the show ended. After some thinking, i figured the following things out:

1) Everything that happened on the Island was real. It was a not a dream, a hallucination, an alternate time line, or another dimension. IT WAS ALL REAL.

2) The "flash sideways" was not sideways but waaaaay in the future (or in a place of no time at all) in what was essentially Purgatory, or the waiting room for the afterlife a.k.a heaven. As Christian told Jack, some of the Losties there had died before him, some had died many years after him, but they had all died at some point and were now together in a Purgatory-esque place where time had no meaning. But there were all ready to move on, and they were all moving on together. Except Ben, who needed some more time to think about it, but that seems about right. I kind of liked the twist on the Purgatory thing, since so many people had speculated that the Island was actually Purgatory since the beginning. This seems like kind of a nice salute to that idea by the writers, while turning the idea on its head in typical LOST fashion.

3) Essentially, Jack was wrong in his "live together, die alone" mantra. They all, in fact, died together and will always be together. (sidenote: I wonder if part of Jack was thinking, "even Sawyer? I have to spend all of eternity with that guy? Damn.")

But what about all the unanswered questions? What about the electromagnetism, the time travel, the Dharma Initiative, the temples, the statues, the original Others, the polar bears, Tunisia, the frozen donkey wheel, all that stuff? I think what the writers were basically trying to tell us with the finale is, in the end, the show was always about the characters. The first season was the most character based, after that more and more plot devices started to be introduced, but those were basically for the purpose of moving around characters, giving them places to go, things to do, and challenges to overcome. But what the show was really about were these people, these characters. If you were more interested in the broader plot questions, sorry, you'll have to wait for the inevitable companion books, graphic novels, and other tie-ins for your answers, but I think the finale was crafted to answer the questions concerning the characters.

So I guess the big question is, was it satisfying? Like I said, if you were in it for the plot-driven mystery, than no. If you were in it for the characters, then you are probably happy. I went into it with no expectations and really enjoyed the finale. I wish more attention had been paid to the plot mechanics, but you know I'll take what I can get. I wasn't pissed (as some were) that the show ended with the characters being led into the light of heaven by "Christian Shepherd." Was it heavy handed? Sure. Was it cheesy? Definitely. Was it what I expected, no, and that's what LOST does best. And it was kind of nice seeing these people who have, let's face it, dealt with some serious shit be happy and at peace with one another.

If what you want is an in-depth discussion of the broader thematic import of the show, such as the ideas of mythical dualism and the eternal balancing of light and dark, I suggest you check out Doc Jensen over at EW.com or stop by Lost Central at The Washington Post. As for me, I enjoyed the hell out of the show, got top rate entertainment for 6 years, and that's what I'm taking with me from the experience.

End of Series Quiz

Favorite Episode(s): Interestingly, they both come from Season 4 and both revolve around Desmond and Penny's story. The Constant and There's No Place Like Home. They represent the show at it's best, balancing the drama of the characters lives with the chaos the crazy plot twists caused.

Favorite Character: Benjamin Linus. Hands down. Never has a character's motives or alignment (good or bad?) been so deliciously murky. Runner up: Mr. Eko. Bible bashing club FTW!

Favorite Quote: "I think I liked you better when you just hit people with your stick.” – Bernard, to Mr. Eko, S.O.S.

Gone Before It's Time? Nah. Setting an end date was brilliant, otherwise the show would have stretched on and on and become more convoluted and probably pointless.

At Least We'll Always Have....: the complete series blu ray and the countless theories, ideas, discussions that will exist forever on the internet. Was there ever a show that was more fun to speculate about? That was half the fun I think.

Moment of Silence

It's been a sad week, everyone. No, nobody died, but unfortunately, Jensen Ackles is no longer a single man.

Yeah, he got married.

Let the mourning begin.

See, even Jared is upset.

Happy Birthday Blog!

They said it wouldn't last. Ok, nobody really said that, but guess what you guys?

Our little blog is officially 4 years old!

It seems like just yesterday Caroline and I were looking for a way to get our tv related thoughts out there and we came up with the idea for TV Sluts. I don't actually remember whose idea it was, but it went something like:

Person 1: We should totally have a tv blog.
Person 2: Let's do it.

And *POOF* a blog is born.

All us TV Sluts are still coming up with an appropriate way to celebrate (feel free to leave suggestions below), but take a look back at our first month of posts here to relive the old times. The end of West Wing, the beginning of our Doctor Who obsession, comments on the state of Lost (then in it's what, only second season?), it's all there folks. So enjoy, and thanks for sticking with us for four years. It's been a helluva ride!

Easy to Assemble

Illeana Douglas is a total "hey, it's that gal" - an actress you recognize but can't name, who's been in everything and nothing. She plays up her semi-(hemi-? quasi-?) celebrity in her web series, Easy to Assemble. Douglas stars (as herself) as a recovering actress, trying to make a new start as an employee at IKEA. The rest of the cast is filled out with some of the hardest working people in show business - Justine Bateman, Ed Begley Jr., Tim Meadows, etc etc.

"How many favors can I call in for this episode?"

Now, I know what you're thinking. Sri, isn't this just an excuse for a four-minute long IKEA commercial? Well... yes, actually. Easy to Assemble is what's called "branded entertainment." Think of it as the opposite of product placement. Instead of a show being used as a vehicle for a product (I'm looking at you, Lady Gaga and Virgin Mobile), a product is used as the vehicle for a show.

Here's why I think this works:

1. The writing is really funny. Beyond the main plot, several of the shows end with "training videos," each featuring the guest star of that episode.
2. As mentioned above, these are some great comedic actors. Jane Lynch plays a Swedish IKEA employee. Ed Proops pops in for a few episodes as Illeana's agent. I could go on.
   
3. IKEA is, in general, looked upon favorably by most and with slavish devotion by many. It's a company that doesn't make us go, "ick." Besides, the emphasis is truly on the entertainment part of "branded entertainment."

So if you love IKEA or B-list stars (sorry, Illeana), give Easy to Assemble a try. At the very least, you might find that duvet you've been looking for.

Sweet dreams...

For more analysis, and for links to Illeana's other web series: Illeanarama - Supermarket of the Stars, check out this article on IKEAfans.com (seriously).

BLOG RETRACTION!

Awhile back...I think in October I slammed CW's Vampire Diaries. The plot was slow and the acting awful. I shook my finger at the network's attempt at ripping off the Twilight Saga. What I didn't tell you was that I kept watching. And watching...and watching. And I am so sad to report I am an addict. The seasons finale of Vampire Diaries last night out did all of the other television I watched this week. There are twists, turns and the characters have been more fully developed.



The acting remains iffie. Paul Wesley, plays the lead vamp Stefan, is awful. His acting never improved. However, the peripheral characters were developed more and more and once the plot stop centering on Stefan and Elena's EPIC romance the show got good.

***Spoiler Alerts*** The season finale was spectacular. It really reeled me in and had me yelling at my television. The last 10 minutes sold me on staying on board. I almost lost it screaming at the TV when the show took a major twist and Elena and Damon kissed. I practically freaked! Of course, it turns out that it wasn't Elena, but Catherine but it was a true WTF moment. Additionally, I was shocked they killed off Anna. I really liked her. She was my favorite character, but the loss I assume motivated Jeremy to end it all. I hope he becomes a vamp! Talk about family drama!

If you haven't given the show a chance (I will take the blame), check out season one on DVD. The show was renewed for a second season and returns next January so we will see where they take it!

Getting Pumped for True Blood

Amidst the Vampire craze and desires to capitalize on the immortal undead, one show stands out as better than the rest. True Blood season three returns to HBO on June 13th at 9pm. According to the teaser releases this season should more closely follow the books (Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse books). Last season, the writers went on a complete tangent from the books, going on complete rants on subjects that were merely touched on in the books. However, this season will be the introduction of Alcide...who all the book fans are quite excited to meet.

However, to hold all us True Blood fans over HBO has posted mini episodes. Currently there are three videos online. The first revolves around new vamp Jessica and her homicidal mass killing spree. The second is an American Idol style audition sequence starring Eric and Pam. Finally, we see a fight between Sookie and Tara at Merlotte's. Check them out on you tube and start getting pumped for season three of True Blood!

My personal favorite is below:

Glee Gets Its Voice Back...

We all recall that I slammed the awfulness of the season return of Glee. In fact I have been INCREDIBLY critical of this season. The songs have been forced on the plot, the plot has been rushed and it didn't feel like the same show that rocketed it to fame. Last night, I felt the return of the old Glee. For once, there wasn't a "theme" to all the songs and the plot didn't give me whip lash.



SPOILER ALERTS! Last nights Glee focused on Rachel losing her voice (and might I add doing an awful yet appropriate version of a Miley Cyrus song..mimicking Miley herself :) ) and Puck losing his "mojo" and fauxhawk. The plots were simple and fun!

The highlight for me had to be Jessie's Girl...performed by Finn in reference to Rachel. You knew the minute the beat started why they named Jonathan Goff's character Jesse in the first place. I was rocking out to Glee again (and Rick Springfield). And in a shocking move, there were back to back musical numbers with Puck AWESOME dancing and rendition of the Lady is a Tramp following up Finn. I was overly impressed with his singing and dancing.

Kurt fans also got there fill of a Kurt subplot. Once again, Kurt feels slighted by his dad. I love Mike OMalley in this part....Does he have it? GUTS! (Ok, I have made that joke like thirty times but it still makes me laugh). The plot ended with a good rendition of Rose's Turn from Gypsy. (Shout out to Sydney and cows!) This was hands down Kurt's best performance this season (Defying Gravity last season was his best)and his vocal range always amazes me. Ascot aside, Kurt's number reminded me of old Glee.

The episode ended with a parallel being drawn to losing your singing voice and quadriplegia..which was off and slightly offensive, but with a nice performance of U2's one.

I am back on board the glee train. Next week's NPH and Joss Whedon episode should be the highlight of the season...the clip of NPH singing Aerosmith's Dream On....uggh..countdown until next week.

What did you think?

KC lays down the smack

It all started a few weeks ago, when Ramin Setoodeh of Newsweek expressed the opinion that while straight actors can play gay characters, gay actors have trouble "playing it straight." Um... what? Kristin Chenoweth stood up for co-stars Sean Hayes and Jonathan Groff, both singled out int he article, in a pretty scathing rebuttal. For the short version, check out this article from E! Online. I think our friend Cheryl said it best (when she shared the link): "Way to go, Cheno!"

Wonderful World of Webseries

The thing I love about web series (at least the ones I watch) is that, by virtue of being relatively cheap to make and publish, they can afford to be targeted directly to niche markets. But Sri, you might be saying, some regular shows and even entire channels are targeted to niche markets! Fine, smart ass. Let me put it another way - web series are to broadcast TV what blogs are to print magazines.

And for every magazine like Cat Fancy,

there are 1,000 sites like icanhascheezburger.com.

Both blogs and web series are great for the digital generation because they're (a) easily accessible online, (b) published in bite-sized pieces, and (c) tailored to our personal interests. However, there is a wide range in quality of both. The best way to navigate the world of web series is the same as for blogs - links and recommendations. And because I am a selfless person, I volunteer myself to watch minutes upon minutes of web series, in order to bring you the cream of the crop. You're welcome.

I've already blogged about The Guild, featuring my idol Felicia Day and my homeboy Sandeep Parikh. Both are involved in the next web series I'm going to recommend - The Legend of Neil. No bias at all, I swear.

Sandeep writes, directs and produces the show.

As you can imagine, his genius shines throughout.

The story concerns a modern sad-sack (fired, dumped, and evicted all in the same day) named Neil, who tries to drown his woes in a game of Legend of Zelda. And beer. In a rather unmentionable way, he is magically transported into the game. There he staggers through the fantasy realm, focusing a cynical (albeit bleary) eye on all the game conventions that just don't make sense. For example, when the body of his first kill disappears he finds a Heart Cookie (that restores his health) in its place. His deranged mentor Old Man tells him, "Eat up! You deserve it... for committing murder." Fair warning - the humor ranges from other such clever reinterpretations of game logic to cheap toilet humor... but it works. Trust me.

If you like old-school NES games, you'll enjoy The Legend of Neil on an almost spiritual level. But even if you don't have an intimate knowledge of 8-bit, there's a lot in this show to love. Felicia Day as the nymphomaniac fairy - who can heal you with a kiss... and more - is a great combination of good girl image and dirty girl language. The special effects are purposefully bad in some places and pretty decent in others. There's even a musical episode! And even if you watch the entire series in one go, it will take less than three hours. So go ahead - give Neil a chance!

Not that he stands much of one, anyway...

If you really loved me, you would watch Friday Night Lights.

Alright, everyone. I need to ask you all a favor. It's not a big deal, it will only take one hour of your life (44 minutes if you own a DVR) and you don't even need to leave the couch. And this is your opportunity to prove how much you love me. Because it doesn't count unless you are constantly trying to prove it.

I want you to watch the season four premiere of Friday Night Lights on NBC this Friday night.

I know what you are thinking. "But I'm not a Neilsen house so it doesn't matter for the ratings. I don't like football/Texas/stories about small towns. I've never watched the show before so how can I start with the fourth season?" You want some cheese with that whine?

I hear you, and trust me, it doesn't matter. Because of it's deal with Direct TV, FNL is already renewed through a fifth season so I don't need you to watch for the ratings. I need you to watch because this is honestly and seriously one of the best television shows airing right now. I assume since you read this blog you tend to have similar taste to us posters, or at least can see where we come from in our opinions, so please trust me. This show is little-watched, but contains some of the most beautiful, honest, and realistic acting and writing out there.

In case you live under the rock, I'll tell you that the show follows the people who live in the small town of Dillon, Texas and their high school football team. The center of the show is the Taylor family, with Dad, Eric, the football coach, and wife, Tami, the principal of the high school. Their daughter, Julie, will be a senior this year and they have a baby girl whose name escapes me but is adorable. Other characters include the other students and their families, many of whom (meaning the students) are on the football team.

Before I lose you at mention of football, let me assure you that I am not a huge fan of the sport, but the show contains just enough scenes of game play to make those oh so dramatic episode endings (with great commentary so even I know what is going on the field) but not so much that you feel the show is just about football. It's about the people, k? Football is just a sport that they happen to be passionate about...or it's a metaphor for life, but that's way too complicated a thought when we are this close to the weekend.

So please just give the show a chance. It's brilliant, amazing, blah blah blah words can't express the greatness. The interactions between the characters are so real that sometimes I just can't comprehend it. For example: Tami and Julie have a fight and I just sit there with my mouth hanging open because I have had that same fight with my Mom. The exact. same. fight.

And if I need to appeal to your base instincts, I'll just say there is lots of eye candy. Lots and lots of eye candy for both boys and girls.

Friday Night Lights has its season 4 premiere on Friday, May 7, at 8pm on NBC. Please watch.

Okay, hear me out on this...

***Spoiler Alert for House, M.D. episode on May 3, "The Choice"***

The patient on last night's episode of House, M.D. was a "formerly gay" man who collapsed at the altar on his wedding day. Turns out that the electroshock therapy he received to "cure" him of his sexual orientation exacerbated a congenital malformation in his brain. At the end of the episode, he still chose to reject his ex-boyfriend and try to stay with his fiancee - who immediately dropped him like a hot potato.

"Actually, let's just be friends."

The plot brings up some interesting points about sexuality, and I thought it was well done overall. Plus, it gives me the perfect excuse to talk about House's sexuality and make you all uncomfortable by mentioning the HoYay in this show XD For those not familiar with the term "HoYay," here's my fave definition from Urban Dictionary:

Noun, abbreviated from 'Homoeroticism, Yay!' ... used to describe a homoerotic or homoromantic subtext between two characters, generally on a television show. Where one sees HoYay is, of course, extremely subjective, though in some cases it can be canon (as in the episode of Angel wherein Spike says 'Angel and I were never intimate... apart from that one time.').

I'll just put it out there - House/Wilson = OTP (fandom term meaning that they belong together). You could argue that House is based off Sherlock Holmes who, for all intents and purposes, is asexual (Irene Alder aside, he never looked twice at anything - man, woman, vegetable or mineral). Wilson is his devoted Dr. Watson - sidekick, confidant, and friend. They're really just the same old partners in crime-solving, updated for the modern era. And you'd be right... mostly. But I think the creative team realizes that some level of sexual tension between these two characters is not a bad thing. There is both subtext and overt references to House and Wilson being in a relationship. And fangirls everywhere tune in specifically for these little moments of HoYay.

When they moved in together,
a resounding "squee" could be heard across the land.

Do I think they'll ever become a couple? Not a chance. But that's not what HoYay is about. Anyone who wants a show about gay characters in gay relationships can watch Queer as Folk. Half the fun of HoYay, IMHO, is that it's a little subversive. House and Wilson are straight and, like the "formerly gay" patient, they can't really choose to be otherwise. But it's fun (for some) to pretend they are secretly in love with each other. HoYay keeps the fanbase strong.

Also, musical numbers happen. Awesome!

Future Husband?

30 Rock has been on a roll this season. I wasn't always the show's biggest fan (I thought the first two seasons were wildly uneven), but it has really hit it's stride the past couple years, and this season has been the best yet, at least in my opinion.

One of the things the show does best is juggle it's many celebrity guests. Some shows aren't so great at stunt casting (hate to say it, but How I Met Your Mother tends to fall in this category for me), but 30 Rock always comes up with roles and situations where celebrity guest stars don't seem like a gratuitous ratings-grab. Case in point: Michael Sheen.

He played a guy named Wesley Snipes. And when Liz called him out on his insane name he countered with, "it’s insane that the actor Wesley Snipes has that name. If you saw a picture of him and a picture of me and were asked who should be named Wesley Snipes. You’d pick the pale Englishman every time! Every time!" Good point, Wes.

So basically, Wesley was having dental surgery at the same time as Liz. They met in the recovery room (when they were both still high on anesthesia) and entered each others' numbers in their cell phones as "future wife" and "future husband." When they actually met again...they realized they had nothing in common and really irritated each other. But then! They kept running into each other and Wesley became convinced that the universe wanted them to "settle" for one another. Liz decided that she wouldn't settle and gave Wesley the old heave ho. But he promised to see Liz again in May, for sweeps. Which is apparently what Brits call spring cleaning.

And true to his word, I'm starting to see reports that Michael Sheen will be back on 30 Rock this month and IMDB seems to confirm. Maybe he will end up Liz's future husband after all? I bet big things are going to go down in the season finale. Its just like Notting Hill... he's "British and charming. And she’s got… certain angles that work for her." And is it really "settling" if you end up with a hot Englishman who's a dead ringer for Tony Blair? And occasionally moonlights as a werewolf and vampire? I think not.