When There's Nothing Left to Burn, You Have to Set Yourself on Fire

Last week, I recapped Lost Girl for ya'll. This week, I'm recapping the other half of Powerful Mondays (RAWR), Being Human.

We begin this episode where we left off last week, with vampire and all-around genuinely decent bloke Aidan ailing after being infected with tainted blood from a human who had had the flu. It's a strain of flu that knocks humans on their ass for a few days, but anyone who has had the virus is basically vampire poison. The virus has killed off a significant portion of the greater Boston area's vampires, and it looks like Aidan is its latest victim. Despite his careful efforts to remain unaffected by the virus, Aidan was infected after a run-in with werewolf and homicidal lunatic (ha!) Liam.  While he is sleeping, Aidan dreams about those halcyon pre-vampire days, and there's a flashback of Aidan saying goodbye to his wife and son as he headed off to fight in the Continental Army during the Revolutionary War. He awakes in present-day Boston, with bro Josh keeping vigil over him. 

I am tormented for several very valid reasons and I don't freaking sparkle. 

In a previous episode, Liam prompted troubled teen weregirl Erin to incapacitate Aidan by mixing her werewolf blood with his untainted blood supply, which she followed up with an ill-advised attempt to stake him. This led to Aidan kicking her so hard that she fell against a wall and landed...in the hospital. As she was unconscious but recovering, Liam paid a visit to her room and suffocated her.  If we were unconvinced at that point that Liam is batshit, he subsequently vampnapped Aidan, tortured him, and then injected him with tainted blood. Recovered werewolf Josh rescued Aidan before Liam could turn and rip Aidan to shreds, but not before Wolf Liam scratched Josh, subsequently making Josh a werewolf. Again.

Yep. I'm off the wagon.

Aidan watched his vampson turn to dust a few episodes ago due to the virus, and he decides he can't spend his last few days holed up in his basement bedroom and decides to go into work at the hospital where he is employed as a nurse, alongside Josh and Josh's fiancé, Nora. Josh and risen corpse Sally point out to Aidan that he can't go to work with all of those buboes, rashes and open sores. Sally patches Aidan up with the Death Becomes Her kit she got from her mortician boyfriend and he's good to go.

Werenurse Nora is nekked in the woods, waking up after her turn. She is beckoned by kindly werehippie Pete, who is lying on the ground in the altogether, babbling about how he's a vegetarian when he's not frolicking in the forest and baying at the moon. He offers her a cheese sandwich, but Nora declines. After previous encounters with purebred weretwins Connor and Brynne, and meeting their creepy father Liam, Nora is understandably wary of other wolves. Nora allows Pete to borrow a shirt, and half-assedly extends an open invitation for him to visit.

Nora arrives home and Josh tells her that Aidan protected her by lying to Liam about what happened to his daughter. Nora killed Brynne and Aidan killed Connor, but Aidan told Liam that he killed both of them. Nora absolves Aidan of blame in Erin's death and we can assume she now believes Josh and Aidan's theory that Liam encouraged Erin to harm Aidan.

Family fun night at the WereManson house.

Meanwhile, arisen corpse/ghoul/zombie/part-time Nicki Minaj impersonator Sally is falling apart. Quite literally. In previous episodes, Sally was suffering from a decomposing hairline. Now her corpserot is accelerating. She goes upstairs to brush her teeth, and shoves her brush plum through her cheeks. Oopsie. Then her teeth start falling out faster than a second grader's.

If you've been watching this season, you know that former ghost Sally was raised by a dark magic shady rootworker witch  (at a soup kitchen, no less) at the behest of Josh and Nora. The witch, however, neglected to inform Sally and her compatriots about the fine print. Sally has been perpetually snacking this season, and she cannot quell her insatiable hunger! Sally goes to the refrigerator to see if there's anything left after she raided it, and she finds a mouse about to get pwned by a mousetrap. She grabs the mouse and swallows it, rushing upstairs after Josh nearly catches her. She looks in the mirror and sees that the hole in her cheek is gone and her scalp has healed as well. This leads to the realization that she has to feed on living flesh in order to stay alive.

Tomorrow night, Pinky, we will come up with a new plan. One that isn't foiled by the atomic weight of gold.

The witch accidentally raised two other people who were in limbo with Sally, and all of them are left to discover on their own how to keep themselves from dying...again. While still ghosting about, Sally befriended a psychic girl named Zoe and Sally's former crush Nick began dating her, first as a ghost and for realz in the physical realm after he was raised. Sally meets with Zoe and  Zoe tells her that Nick has been staring at her. A lot. In a not sexy way. It's creeping her out, and she's getting scared.

Sally is troubled by her mousecapade, and after her talk with Zoe, she pays a visit to fellow undead Nick, and confesses she ate a mouse. 'Sall good. Nick reveals that he's been eating cats. We found out last week that Nick has been luring stray cats to his house, and pounces on them once they come to eat. Zoe, of course, has no clue. 

Official Season 3 promo shot.

At the hospital, Aidan pays a final visit to his blood bank, Bubble Boy and likely future evil vampire overlord Kenny. Kenny sees that Aidan has the virus.  Kenny has been feeding Aidan with his pure blood, in exchange for Aidan's promise that he will turn Kenny once Kenny turns eighteen. Aidan tells Kenny that he's going to have to reneg on his deal because he's dying. Kenny tries to argue with him, urging Aidan to turn him immediately. Aidan refuses, citing the likelihood that he would infect Kenny with the virus, and says goodbye. Kenny's determined not to live out his entire adult life in a sterilized room in a hospital, and he thinks turning vamp is his only hope, so he contacts sketchy redheaded vampiress Blake in the hope she will renew her previous offer to turn him in exchange for his untainted blood.

Aidan meets up with Nora, who thanks him for not telling Liam that she killed Brynne. Nora had blamed Aidan for Erin's death, but she slowly starts to realize that the untrustworthy party in the whole debacle is Liam. Nora urges Aidan to go home. Home reminds Aidan of the good times in the past: when Sally was a ghost; when Josh was a werewolf the first time and when Aidan didn't have vampitis.

There is a flashback of Aidan remembering his wife, Susanna. Soon after the Revolutionary War ended, Aidan made his way home, hiding out in the barn on his homestead and feeding on chickens. Susanna finds him. He tells Susanna what he's become. Forward-thinking colonial lass that she is, Susanna is unfazed and lets him drink from her hand. Now that's devotion, kids. 
Aidan is soon disturbed to find Blake creeping around outside his window. He tells Blake to leave Kenny alone, and he tries to attack her, but he's weak and she slams him against the wall.

Josh is home tending to Aidan when Nora arrives -- with a guest. It's Cat, Aidan's human crush! Boy, is she a sight for his bleeding eyes. Nora and Josh leave Aidan alone with Cat so Aidan can at least say goodbye to her. Cat has no idea yet that Aidan is dying, and also doesn't know he's a vampire. She's in 20 kinds of the dark about her almost-not-quite-boyfriend, but we like her for Aidan! The bad news is that the galloping vampsumption takes an ugly turn while Cat is there, and Aidan passes out. Cat nurses him while he's asleep, but he dreams again of Susanna. Cat leaves, assuming she will see Aidan again after he's recovered from the "flu." Nora and Josh, however, are preparing themselves for the end. They're cheered by a surprise visit from friendly werewolf Peter, who shows up with a pot of chili (vegetarian, natch). Peter is a ginormous tree-hugger, featuring all the bells and whistles: smoking of giant doobies, backpacking, at oneness with nature and vampires. He also meditates. Pete tells them about his travels, while "Your Ex Lover is Dead" by Stars plays in the background. Nice touch, production team. Pete encourages Josh to make peace with his wolf, and says his wolf really is terrified of him. The three of them sit in a circle and meditate, and Josh attempts to make contact with his wolf. 

Oh, Susanna. Don't you cry for me.

After Sally's visit with Nick, she's HUNGRY. She stops by a grocery pet store and looks longingly about the little furry creatures she wants to devour: little mice, little hamsters, little bunnies and little kittens. She walks away in horror after a little boy walks out with a fish -- and he looks mighty tasty!

Sally gets home, and she and Josh find Aidan seizing. He coughs up blood and this looks like the end. Don't worry! He has Main Character Immunity. The next morning, Aidan is cured! Josh, Nora and Sally theorize about what could have helped Aidan beat the infection, and Sally mentions that the last time Aidan got "joker-faced" (her words) was when he drank from Josh. Like a room full of Jonas Salks, they figure out that when Aidan drank from Josh, that gave him immunity, and his dose from Erin served as a "booster." That's it! The correct answer is werewolf blood! Ding, ding, ding!

Liam's psychopathic obsession with both avenging his children's deaths and ridding the world of vamps has backfired. Aidan visits Kenny and tells him the deal is back on. He also meets with Blake and lets her in on  the vaccine news, but tells Blake that Nora and Josh are off limits and that she has to stay away from Kenny. Or he will cut her.

Sally confesses to Aidan that she really doesn't like being Zombie Grrrl. She feels like she can't go around killing things just to survive and yes, the irony escapes her. Aidan's finally come to terms with being a vampire, and Sally kind of throws it up in his face. Nick told Sally that he thought it was worth it because they got a second chance at life, but Sally doesn't think so. This prompts Aidan to remember Susanna again. In flashback, Susanna accepts that Aidan is immortal, and urges him not to hold back if he finds love again. Aidan goes to the university where Cat works (she's a professor of early American history, ha ha ha). They make out in the hallway!! 

Later, Josh tries to meditate again to make contact with his wolf. He succeeds this time, and reaches his hand out to his wolf. 

Canis lupus Joshius.

Meanwhile, one of Liam's werewolf henchmen is having just the worst day. Liam and his minions go out and night and jump the remaining vampires and stake them, but now Blake has the upper hand! She's lured him to a parking garage and gathered a bunch of vampires together for mass vaccine/murder time. Yeah, he's pretty much fucked. 

Speaking of people who are fucked, Zoe comes home to Nick and finds him feeding on an unfortunate kittums. He tries to explain it away, saying that he just needs to eat. He says, "But I'm still hungry" and lunges at Zoe. The lights fade as we hear her scream.

Being Human airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on SyFy (imagine greater). Previous seasons are available on Netflix instant and DVD.