Fox, I want my 19 minutes back

Sunday's Fox lineup has been a staple in my house for years. It isn't Sunday without Family Guy and the Simpsons. It is possible that these are the only shows my husband remembers to watch. In support of the Sunday line up I attempted to watch the new Fox comedy Sons of Tucson...uggh.

This show is HORRENDOUS! The main character played by Tyler Labine is clearly a wanna be Jack Black. Much like Jack Black he is NOT REMOTELY FUNNY!


The premise of the show is that the father of three young boys is arrested for banking crimes. In order to avoid being placed in foster care, the three boys hire a dad. The hilarity is meant to ensue. In last weeks episode, which I can only handle 19 minutes of, the main character smuggled viagra in llamas and had to figure out how to get the drugs back. UGGH!

The three "kids" are also horrid. They are three unknown child actors and...let's hope they stay that way.

Please do not watch this show.

As a side note, the only time i chuckled during the show was when they said the llamas were named bella and edward.

Drinking the Kool-Aid.

Ah, there's a certain satisfaction that comes from getting your friends hooked on something, isn't there? This past weekend, I found out that two of my friends have become addicted to Avatar: The Last Airbender since I made them sit down and watch it. And I'm not sure why, but sharing my love of certain shows just seems to result in a warm fuzzy feeling. Maybe it's because there's some kind of pay-it-forward thing happening. After all, some of my favorite shows were discovered based on word of mouth. Example: Doctor Who (Caroline), Gossip Girl (Chris), True Blood (Rachel), and even Avatar: The Last Airbender (Monkey), and on and on. So the more shows I recommend to other people, maybe the more awesome shows I will have recommended to me? There must be some kind of mathematical equation for this thing.

The more people who discover the awesomness of Appa, the better.

Things I learned on my latest work trip...

Another day, another week-long work trip. This time to Reno, which is turning out to be kind of awesome and I really suggest that you come visit. Especially in the Spring.

But as with most travel, this one has led to a few life lessons:

1) Having a television in the bathroom is weird. I'm staying at one of the casinos here in Reno, and because of the government rate was able to snag a pretty swanky room (but swanky in the casino sense which means it is ridiculously gaudy). It has an HD tv in the main room...but also a smaller one in the bathroom which is just strange. Do people really need to watch television while brushing their teeth? What about when peeing? There's also a phone by the toilet which, ok you may be a high-powered business man, but do you REALLY need to conduct a business call while sitting on the john?

2) Supernatural is now part of TNT's "prime time in the day time" line-up airing from 7-8 am. Score!

3) I spent an entire afternoon watching Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns on SyFy on Monday. And this came days after having an impassioned discussion about the merits of the show with Selvi and Kristin. It was fate.

4) Unlike Central time (where shows air an hour early), shows air at their regular time here on the West Coast. Which means everyone got to see Lost three hours before me. Which kind of sucks and makes me feel like I missed out. Well, I actually did miss out because it turns out I went to bed before 9 when Lost airs...I was jet-lagged, ok? But when it was 7:00 in the evening here and I realized that all my friends had just finished watching Lost, it made me feel like I was late for the party.

5) The sun never sets on NCIS. I used to think this saying only applied to Law and Order and CSI, because there is ALWAYS an episode of those shows on one channel or another. But apparently NCIS has now joined the endless rerun brigade.

Coming up next: Maggie spends the next 10 years trying to watch everything her DVR recorded this week while she was gone! Exciting.

Dude, I'd watch that show.

Spoilers for Lost episode "Recon" below!

Lost was kind of ho-hum last night. The episode was solid, but there weren't a lot of big reveals. Well, Sawyer screwing Charlotte, throwing her out, and her being awesome and not forgiving him and his big puppy eyes was kind of a surprise. Go, Charlotte!

But the best part was seeing Sawyer in the sideways flash. He's a cop. And his partner? Miles! As soon as I saw them together the only thing I could think of was, "I would totally watch that show." I'm not a fan of cop procedurals in general, but Sawyer and Miles: two smartasses out to clean up the mean streets of LA....sign me up. If ABC was smart they would have these two signed for a new show to take Lost's place ASAP, because you KNOW people would watch.

And who knew Miles would look so cute in his cop gear?

This could be the next big buddy cop show, y'all.

Parenthood

Since we no longer have traditional tv “seasons” this month the major networks are launching new shows. Each network has put all their chips into one new show. For NBC it’s Parenthood. For our readers not current on their late 80s movies, Parenthood was a parenting angst movie starring Steve Martin with EXCELLENT cameos from Keanu Reeves (pre the bus). The movie was all about the hardships of being a parent from late developing kids, to kid geniuses, to teen angst and even adults with childlike tendencies. It was a great movie and I assume Ron Howard is trying to capture the chemistry in his new show. (For the record they tried this in 1990 and failed)


I have to admit Parenthood (the tv show) is well thought out, constructed and even well written. It is clear that the writers spent time developing the family dynamic and characters. It is a family of two sisters and two brothers and each of their extended families. In the first two episodes, the teens got arrested, one of the kids was diagnosed with Asberger’s and an illegitimate child has shown up. The plot, though predictable, is also well put together. The family dynamic is there.

The high point in the show for me is the return of Lauren Graham to television. I know Gilmore Girls is a hit or miss show with readers, but for me it was a staple. Her character is charismatic and Lauren is doing great so far. The original pilot starred Maura Tierney in Lauren Graham's role, but due to her ongoing breast cancer treatment she couldn't continue. Though Maura will be missed, I am certainly happy they filled the role with Lauren. I also am loving Peter Krause (Six Feet Under) and Sam Jaeger (Eli Stone). Both are complimenting there “marital” counterparts well and making me chuckle. The low point is CERTAINLY Dax Shepherd. Why anyone would cast him in a real role perplexes me. His comedic role is lacking and his general presence annoys me. Hollywood continues to cast him in movies and shows despite his poor line delivery and lack luster emotions. Additionally, Erika Christensen is not holding up her own. Erika plays Julia, a high powered attorney trying to get to know her daughter, and its just not getting there for me. Perhaps there will be room for growth.

Overall, I have added it to the list. Plus I could sell it to my husband since Craig T. Nelson is in it. Try Parenthood tonight at 9.

It's about frickin time.

One of the perils of DVR is that you sometimes fall behind on stuff. I can often fall a full week behind in watching some shows, including Chuck (I can hear Jeff's gasps of unbelief even from several hundred miles away).

So imagine my surprise this morning when getting ready for work I discovered that Morgan has FINALLY learned that Chuck is a spy. To which all I can say is...

HALLELUJAH! Also, Morgan is kinda badass. Who knew?

I think this is going to be great for the show. I've been whining/complaining/bitching that the old "I have to keep this secret from all my friends and family" route was getting old. And I always thought that Morgan would be great to have in on the whole spy thing. And look at that, I was right!

I'm so glad that instead of blowing up at Chuck for lying to him for 2.5 years he was thrilled to learn Chuck's secret. It was an unexpected twist, but fits perfectly with the character. And seriously, who wouldn't want an awesome international spy for a best friend? Chuck's mad Duck Hunt skills will definitely come in handy.

So cheers to Chuck! This season is moving right along at a good clip, and I really like the addition of Brandon Routh to the show (a.k.a. Superman). I know a lot of fans didn't like the idea of a new romantic interest for Sarah, not to mention Hannah, but I actually like the execution of both. After all, you need to come up with some reason to keep Sarah and Chuck apart. But now that Chuck has admitted to himself that he loves Sarah (to himself at least), who knows what the future holds?

Oh, and Chuck producers, writers, and directors?

Thanks for the many shirtless Captain Awesome shots. It definitely made my Monday.

Is this the end for our intrepid heroes?!?

Heroes hit the airwaves in 2006 among a tremendous media blitz, soared through a stellar first season, and eventually hit upon the rocky shoals of viewer discontent. Yeah, I realize that sentence mixes three or four metaphors. Deal with it.

Now, the scuttlebutt around the web is that Volume 6 (Brave New World) may not come to pass. As a fan who's stuck with the show for this long, I was of two minds about this news. On one hand, when Heroes was good, it was amazing. On the other, it hasn't been amazing for four seasons. Then it occurred to me - a simple way to save the show in its purest, most awesome form.

Kill every-damn-body.

Peter Petrelli? Gone. I've had enough of his stroke-victim face and his weirdly (even for me) close relationship with his brother. Mohinder Suresh? Outta there. As much as it pains me to say it, this show hasn't needed my darling 'Hinder for a long while now. Noah Bennett? He made the show when we only knew him as HRG, but now he only gets to be bad ass once in a blue moon.

And none of this half-assed dying that's been going on so far. It robs character death of its emotional resonance. Nikki Sanders' death was major, but then the actress shows up again as Tracey Strauss. There's another triplet out there, too - Barbara. God knows when they were planning to bring her in. Same with Nathan Petrelli. Maybe they thought having two death scenes (one where he physically dies, one where Sylar's personality pushes Nathan out of their shared brain) would make us twice as emotional. Actually, it just made sure that when Nathan was gone, I was glad to be done with him.

What I envision is a spin-off show focusing on Claire Bennett. Maybe 1,000 years in the future, when everyone around her has either been blown to bits, eaten by sharks or just died in their sleep. Is she a hero - or a villain? Does she have a sidekick? An arch nemesis? I want all the usual comic book tropes, but turned on their heads. That was the promise of Heroes - that it would bring something new to television.

Well, Tim Kring? I'm waiting...

--

Maggie Cats, I feel like you've proposed this solution before. Anyway, it bears repeating. Kill! Kill!

Bonekickers

I had never heard of Bonekickers until Netflix recommended it a few weeks ago, but I decided to give it a try since there's pretty much no British show I won't check out (which trust me, does not always work out--Demons, I am looking at you. But more about that in a future post).

Bonekickers is pretty easy to sum up: it's a BBC show about a group of archaeologists. I thought it would be a pseudo-Indiana Jones type thing, with archaeologists traveling around the world investigating supernatural objects and having incredible and often wacky adventures. But there's really nothing supernatural about it, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's more like CSI meets...well, it's really just like CSI but with really really old stuff instead of murders.

It's only got one season, but I was pleasantly surprised with the overall quality of the program. Each episode investigates a different period in history: ancient, medieval, colonial, WWI, etc. etc. and it's not just limited to British history. The characters are a team of archaeologists who work at the fictional Wessex University. The show tries to drum up interest in a season long arc as every episode contains a reference or clue to a certain ancient sword. A sword that the main character, Dr. Gillian Magwilde, is convinced is the sword of King Arthur. I'm 4 episodes in out of the total 6, but honestly right now I am kind of meh on the whole magical mysterious ancient sword thing.

Overall, it's a solid British procedural with an interesting twist and tells some pretty interesting stories with its characters. I can't speak as to the authenticity of the science and archaeological techniques, but I do appreciate how the show doesn't flinch from showing that most of what archaeologists do is dig in the mud and look up shit in really old books. It's kind of refreshing not to depict archaeologists as running around the globe having ridiculous adventures all the time.

Oh, and the best part of the show is Hugh Bonneville, whom you might recognize from Notting Hill. He's kind of hilarious, and yes, he wears a fedora. Apparently all male archaeologists do.

All in all I give the show a solid B. If you like history, old stuff, and socially awkward people, consider giving it a try.

NB: I would just like to point out that I spelled the word "archaeology" wrong every single time I typed it in this post. That takes talent, people.

LOST: Recent thoughts from around the interwebs

There's a lot of information out there about Lost. You could scour the Internet for hours trying to track it all down, but why bother? That's what I'm for, right? As soon as I've finished the most recent episode of Lost, I hop on the Internet and visit my favorite sites. Here are some of the best comments and thoughts from around the webs for this week's episode, "Sundown."

Liz Kelly and Jen Chaney over at The Washington Post have a weekly Lost "dueling analysis" column as well as an online chat.

Plano, TX: I think we'll look back on this episode as the one where we really understood what the sideways universe was all about.

It's not sideways, it's not flash-forward: It's Sideways/forward. The choices that the Losties make in this war indicate what happens to them in the alternate universe. Choose Flocke, you're damned to repeat the same cycle you were in (Re: Sayid and killing, Kate and running). If you chose Jacob, you'll find some resolution of your issues (Jack and his daddy-issues/son- issues). Thoughts?

And of course, any Lost trip around the world wide web isn't complete without paying a visit to Doc Jensen's column over at Entertainment Weekly.

"For years he has been trapped, but now Jacob is gone. He is free. This man will not stop until he has destroyed every living thing on the Island. ...He is evll incarnate.''

"I'm thinking Dogen was getting it wrong, too, either because he's misinformed or biased because of what Jacob did for his son: spared him from death. In fact, think about the wondrous things associated with Jacob. Richard's eternal youth. The resurrection hot spring. And, if you believe Ben from season 3, a cure for cancer. Jacob isn't ''good,'' per se — he's just capable of giving life. Put another way: Jacob is the god of beginnings. He is The Alpha. The Man in Black? Not evil — he's the god of endings. He is the Omega. The beginning and the end. Polar, warring opposites, but absolutely necessary for life to bloom (Alpha) and to have form (Omega). Both are necessary for anything to have meaning. Jacob unchecked leads to chaos; Man In Black unchecked leads to annihilation. Both need to exist in balance; both need to be equally weighted rocks on the scale."

USA Today's pop culture blogger, Whitney, rounds up the 10 best Lost thoughts from the comment threads of Pop Candy every Friday. :

froglegggz: The flash sideways are showing us what happens if they "take the deal" from Flocke/Jacob. Dogens deal w/jacob was that he would take his new job... keepin the temple safe... and he would be rewarded with his son never having died... his sacrifice would be that he was never allowed to see him/leave... So i think it was very clear tonight that we saw Sayid after he took Flocke's deal... Nadia would be alive...and his sacrifice was HE COULD NEVER BE WITH HER?

What if someone had never seen Lost and was working their way through the final season? They would probably be pretty confused.

When I went to start last night’s episode I noticed Said was spelled Sayid in the cable guide description. Fine. I was using the spelling a college friend uses, but it’s their show so I am going to honor their wishes by adding another letter in there. I’m not counting this on my ignorance tally. It’s pretty high already.

And finally....bonus music video! Miley meets Hurley.

So close, and yet so far.

Oh, Evan Lysacek. You were this close to being my secret boyfriend of the week, and then I had to go and read that you are appearing on Dancing with the Stars. How you intend to do that and train for the upcoming World Figure Skating Championship, I don't know, but that is neither here nor there.

YOU ARE AN OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL WINNER. AND YOU ARE APPEARING ON ONE OF THE TACKIEST SHOWS EVER.

Now, I know people who watch and enjoy this show. It's cheesy good fun. Who doesn't like seeing celebrities" (and I use that term loosely) with ostensibly little or no dance experience take on the challenge of ballroom dancing, all while wearing sparkly, feathery, and ridiculous outfits. People who should be on the show: Kate Gosselin. Shannen Doherty. Pamela Anderson. People who should not be on the show: OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL WINNERS.

Apolo Ono I am also looking at you. The fact that you won your season does not mollify me.

Oh, who am I kidding. Figure skating is half-way to the ridiculousness of most ballroom dancing anyway.

This picture alone makes my argument a loser.

You know who would be awesome on DWTS? Johnny Motherfucking Weir. He and that show were MADE for one another.

Jason Hates a Canadian

Here's something you don't see on the blog very often. A post about sports! Guest-blogger Jason weighs in on the Canada vs. USA match-up at the Olympics on Saturday and has some...shall we say...strong feelings for one of the Canadian players. Not those kind of strong feelings! Get your mind out of the gutter, people.

In the aftermath of the Olympics, that biennial event designed to bring the world together in staunch but healthy competition and international friendship, I’m just going to come out and say it: I hate Sidney Crosby. The centre for the Pittsburgh Penguins has got to be one of the most over-hyped hockey players ever. I mean, he's talented, but he rarely ever delivers for Pittsburgh, usually only providing assists rather than out-in-out goals. He believes his own hype, however, and will now have more reason to believe it because he actually managed to score the final tie-breaking goal over the USA hockey team last night playing for his native Canada.

For the official record, I'm wicked fine with Canada winning as many gold medals as they want. They kind of deserve to have a medal for something other than modesty. Which doesn’t even get a medal because if it there was one, who would wear it?

So wherefore my ire? As a die-hard hockey fan, I somehow cannot get behind the spirit of cooperation that the Olympics are all about the second the puck hits the ice. I think this is because hockey is the only sport I know of where bad sportsmanship is actually encouraged. It’s kind of why I love it, actually. I have the worst cognitive dissonance watching the Olympic hockey matches because while I’m trying to get behind What It All Means, all I really want to do is yell things about the mothers of the opposing team’s players doing amorously inappropriate things with moose. The Olympics is about healthy competition. Hockey is about bloodsport.

And frankly, Canada fascinates me. I grew up in one of the only places in the entire continental United States where you had to drive south (yes, south) to get to Canada. A love for our neighbors to the north is not an easy one to nurture – one who is obsessed with England is an Anglophile, one who loves all things French is a Francophile. Even those with an affinity for the Irish can be called Hibernophiles (Never heard of it, but I like it --Maggie Cats). So far, we’ve yet to come up with a similar concept for those of us who have a predilection for the witty, modest folk who share our borders. Of all the people competing, surely these are the ones that we can all agree not to be angry with because they played hard and fair, right?

Yeah, you’d think that. And then I remember that up until these games, the USA was the only team to ever win the gold in hockey while as the host country for the games. And we did it twice. And Sidney Crosby wasn’t even born the last time it happened. And suddenly I’m right back to the old hockey fan that I have been bred over 30-odd years to be.

Thank God the regular NHL season can now go back to its standard programming and I can go back to insulting players without my brain hurting.