Ghost Rider and Agents of SHIELD

So, if you haven't become aware yet, the current season of Agents of SHIELD features an iteration of the comic book character Ghost Rider.

For those not familiar with the Marvel Universe, Ghost Rider is in some ways like the Marvel version of the Green Lantern: he's had multiple iterations (different fictional people are "the Ghost Rider") each with different powers. Traditionally, he's a guy with a flaming skull for a head on a motorcycle, because he made a deal with the devil and now hunts evil for eternity or something similar.

However, recently Marvel moved him to being a guy with a flaming skull for a head in a muscle car because he died during street racing and is possessed by the ghost of his serial killer uncle, whose evil inclination he defies to be a vigilante.

As you can see from the trailer, the newest version of Ghost Rider is the one we're seeing in Agents of SHIELD.

I welcome the appearance of Ghost Rider, because I've been finding Agents of SHIELD becoming more and more stale.

To explain this I need to spoil some things. If you don't like spoilers, you should stop now. Below the horizontal line/blogger break I will spoil three seasons each of Agents of SHIELD and The Blacklist, as well as the ending to the Kurt Russell/James Spader film Stargate and probably some other things too because I'm on a roll.

What Ben's Watched On Streaming for June/July

I've watched a bunch of things on streaming media recently. Here are my short-ish reviews:

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD, Season 3 (Netflix)

A friend of mine recently said, "yeah, I was watching Agents of SHIELD, and then it got really stupid." I think she was referring to sometime in Season 2. 

Which is true, Agents of SHIELD perenially has a plot which I'd describe thematically as "peak comic book," where all plot threads come together into a unified whole no matter how disparate they seem to be at the beginning, and some stuff seems shoehorned in. It is apparently inconceivable to the Agents of SHIELD writers that SHIELD could have to deal with two major issues at the same time and they never team up or subsume each other. 

The show is also knocking off characters at a Game of Thrones rate (okay, pre-season 6 season finale Game of Thrones rate) sometimes seemingly because Joss Whedon doesn't want to pay for an actor anymore. Similarly, the "big bad" for the last half of the season sometimes seemed to be down a henchman because, I think, either the actor they had for him (who's B-list famous) was too expensive to be in every episode if he didn't have lines or he had a prior commitment so he couldn't appear in half the episodes you'd expect to see him in.

That said, as a guy who just read all the issues of Radioactive Spider-Gwen and spin-offs available on Marvel Unlimited (Gwen Stacy is a much more interesting Spider-Person than Peter Parker! Also she's in an alternate universe where Captain America was always an African-American woman and Daredevil is evil! You really should read it!), I have a pretty high tolerance for comic book stupid (I had to read through several issues with Spider-Ham -- yes, the Spider-Man that is an anthropomorphic pig -- crossovers) if a show is otherwise diverting. And Agents of SHIELD remains entertainingly diverting.

Also, Clark Gregg is still clearly enjoying his job and is a joy to watch.

Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress (Amazon Prime)

Elevator pitch for this show: "It's Attack on Titan, but with zombie mobs instead of naked giants, and it's set in a steampunk late Tokugawa Japan where most of the action takes place one of the armored supply trains for the rail system that keeps the last few human outposts connected."

The execution is, at best, fair. Writing seems to be done by folks given the directive: "use the formula we know works for shounen [teenage boy-marketed] anime for the elevator pitch you just heard. Do not, under any circumstances, take any risks with plot or characterization or otherwise give the audience something they likely have not seen before in another anime."

It's always magical zombies with glowing hearts covered in some sort of difficult-to-penetrate metal alloy. isn't it?

I could go on and give details, but it would really be a waste of your brain space. It's not good.

Penny Dreadful (Netflix)

This was reviewed before on this blog, but I actually like it a little more.

Let's not get too excited: I don't love Penny Dreadful as high art. I like it as a television version of a gothic horror (which also has influence from - and name-checks - the Grand Guignol style of gory theater) acted by people who are capable of much more substantial work than being "morally compromised supernatural evil-hunting team."

And that's what Penny Dreadful is -- Timothy Dalton plays the rich African explorer father of Mina Harker -- yes, that Mina Harker -- who assembles a semi-random team of dangerous misfits to rescue his daughter from a vampire. They are:

• the African explorer's mysterious African warrior butler/something (Danny Sapiani)
• demon-possessed psychic childhood friend of Mina (Eva Green)
• American gunslinger whose dark secret would be only revealed in the last episode of the first season if it wasn't spoiled by the credits sequence (Josh Hartnett)
• Dr. Victor Frankenstein -- yes, that Dr. Frankenstein (Harry Treadway)

In a parallel plotline, for reasons I can't quite understand, there's Dorian Gray (Reeve Carney); yes, the Oscar Wilde one with the painting. He seems to be there mostly to create multiple romantic issues with Josh Hartnett's character; Gray has sex with two women Ethan Chandler (Hartnett) is romantically entangled with, plus Chandler himself. I don't think this spoils much in the first season because, as I said, Dorian Gray has no direct relationship to the main plot. 

Here's Ethan Chandler and Dorian Gray making out. While there is a bunch of male full-frontal nudity in this show, sadly not of these guys. 

Also, Billie Piper is in this as a prostitute dying of consumption. She needs a better post-Doctor Who agent. 

As I said above, this show is sort of an update of gothic horror and Grand Guignol; the point is not that it's good, it's that it's constantly entertaining or at least shocking in a visceral way. There is a plot and there is dialogue. As the previous blogger on this beat noted, neither are particularly compelling (although the pacing of the story is good). But the production values, the acting, and the fact that everyone making this is taking it seriously instead of winking at the audience somehow raise it above "dumb" to "weirdly fun." 

Netflix I Watched On Paternity Leave: Marvel's Agents of SHIELD, Season 2

I know, I know, I really did a hatchet job on Attack on Titan [sic], even though I tolerated it for about 13-14 episodes more than I did Vexed or Red Data Girl. 

You know what I also watched a lot of while holding a six-pound child? Marvel's Agents of SHIELD, season 2.

To recap for those of you who just picked up this blog today and don't watch any comic book related TV, Marvel's Agents of SHIELD follows the efforts of SHIELD, a sort-of-spy agency tasked with being regular folks who fight supervillans and whatnot. They have invisible planes and spy gadgets.

I watched this show all the way through Season 2 for the following reasons:

1. Clark Gregg.

If you do a Google Image Search for images of Clark Gregg as Phil Coulson, you will get something like 200 pictures basically identical to this one. 

Clark Gregg is just a lot of fun as "responsible dad figure of SHIELD." It's basically the role he was born to play.

2. Patton Oswalt sightings.

Patton Oswalt shows up in Agents of SHIELD about as much, proportionally, as he showed up in the Diablo Cody dark comedy Young Adult. Only in the latter, however, does he have a deeply awkward sex scene with Charlize Theron.

I was really, really hoping that, from the end of Season 1, Patton Oswalt would be a regular on the Agents of SHIELD cast. But he's not. Apparently the Whedons who executive-produce the show don't want to pay him for regular appearances. Which is sad, because he is amazing.

3. Kyle Maclachlan.

Paul Atreides from Dune and Agent Cooper from Twin Peaks is in this season, letting his inner Bruce Campbell free. His plot line is deeply, deeply stupid, but he is so gleefully over-the-top you don't care.

There are no good production stills of Kyle Maclachlan looking as unhinged as he usually does on Agents of SHIELD, so I'll go with this one where he's his usual scruffy. 

To explain what the heck is going on with Kyle Maclachlan's character would basically require a step-by-step spoiling of the whole season, because his character is (sometimes inexplicably) written into every part of it, from the Hydra plotline to the Kree plotline to the Inhumans plotline.

---

...and here's a bulleted, nitpicky list of what I didn't like about Season 2.

• Skye. Weakest link of Season 1, now critical to the plot but even less compelling in Season 2. 
• Not enough Lucy Lawless.
• Not enough Edward James Olmos.
• Not enough of that guy who plays the FBI agent on White Collar. 
• Stop trying to make Fitz and Simmons kiss, writers. She can just be not that into him.
• Not very good Avengers 2 tie-in.
• I was really hoping we were done with Deathlok. 

MOST IMPORTANT: Editors and fight choreographers of Agents of SHIELD -- I can tell when you cut from the actual actor to a body double from behind to do a fight scene, and it is really, really cheap and distracting, since you do it nearly every fight. If your actors suck at fighting, train them better. 

I’m Back! And Still Talking About Comics

Hello, Readers!  Apologies for the long delay since the last time I’ve written (Cancer sucks; let’s just leave it at that), but I’m back with a few more thoughts on comic books and the glut of comic book properties we saw on TV this past year.  Let’s run through them, shall we?

For the record, I’m mostly ignoring comic book properties of the non-heroic variety here. My reasoning is that “comic book character” as a genre is largely associated with capes and tights, as opposed to the wealth of incredible graphic novels out there that are also being given the live action treatment.  The Walking Dead is probably the most famous comic book-based TV show, but a glut of upcoming properties like Sex Criminals, Preacher, and my personal favorite The Wicked + The Divine are on the horizon.

"Sistahhhhs...are doing it for themselvessss.."

Agent Carter

Let’s start with the good. Agent Carter was a miniseries designed to give us more about the life of Peggy Carter, Captain America’s one-time love interest from before he got all frozen at the end of the World War II. Introduced in the movie Captain America: The First Avenger, Peggy Carter finally gets to be the hero that her fans know she is in this short-run series. Hayley Atwell reprises the character from the movies and presents Peggy as a secret agent working for the precursor to S.H.I.E.L.D. after the events of the first Captain America movie.  Peggy balances her life as a single woman in the 1940s with all the assumptions about her skills that era had with her actual ability to be a bad ass while hunting down an arms dealer. This show was beloved, not only for its obvious girl-power bona fides but for the fact that the sexism that Peggy faces is presented realistically. The men in her office who barely see her as more than a secretary are less two-dimensional stereotypes and more obvious signs of a world that is slouching toward change.  There’s a ton that you can say about the pretty incredible writing here, but I think of a friend of mine summed it up best when she said watching Agent Carter was the first time she felt like someone in Hollywood made a comic book superhero story for her.

Status: renewed for season 2, to air early 2016

"Wait, are we all still on this show?"

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Now maybe with the less good. Look, I know fans of this show love it. The thing I hear most frequently about it is, “but you’ve got to start watching, it’s gotten SO GOOD!” I’m glad for you and I’m glad for the show, but it lost me after the plodding first season full of characters I don’t care about. Of all the highly successful Marvel properties, this one to me illustrates most the danger of trying to run an integrated universe across multiple entertainment platforms. The show suffered because of revelations in Captain America: The Winter Soldier and while that’s unfortunate, it’s also not reason enough for me to come back to it.

Status: renewed for season 3, to air fall 2015

"Ours is a determined walk."

Arrow

Arrow had what should have been a big year that unfortunately got overshadowed by a flashier (heh) kid brother and some wandering in the woods on the part of the writers. As The Flash went full bore with establishing a world full of powers and magic, Arrow struggled to keep up. The introduction of Ras al-Ghul should have been a game changer and instead fans felt mistreated by the relative little screen time of the character and him once again being whitewashed. A creative change is in the air for next year, and it’s looking like we’ll finally see Ollie officially become Green Arrow and start to move away from the angst of the past two years. For the first time, all the characters are aware of each other’s secrets and finally working together. And no matter what anyone says, I’m enjoying Katie Cassidy’s Black Canary. The character is one of my favorites and Cassidy has done a good job of showing the damage that Black Canary carries with her without letting it destroy her.

Status: renewed for season 4, to air fall 2015

"Ahh, bugger."

Constantine

This is probably the show that I wanted to work out the most. After a lackluster movie, I really wanted Constantine as a character to have his due. I wrote before about how it’s essentially an American Doctor Who, although clearly the longevity is not the same. The show saw John Constantine battling the Rising Darkness with his trademark punk wit and whimsy. The show touches into the area of DC comics that I find the most fun – the area of magic and the occult. The show, unfortunately, failed to find an audience, however it may not be completely out for the count: there’s a chance the character could find his way to Arrow since they technically occupy the same world. Additionally, the upcoming Lucifer is based on a character from the same source.

Status: cancelled

So much blood, you guys. Seriously, so much blood.

Daredevil

Remember how I said my friend referred to Agent Carter as the comic book show that she finally felt like Hollywood had made for her? Well, the other half of that sentence was that she felt like Daredevil was the one they made in disregard of her. Daredevil is Marvel’s first foray into Netflix’s original series. For those unfamiliar, it’s the story of Matt Murdock, who lost his eyesight at a young age and now fights crime using his heightened senses. The fact that some weird super chemical is responsible for the loss of his sight is also what explains how UTTERLY heightened his senses have become. The show is by far the entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (the one that includes The Avengers, etc.) that is the farthest removed from Marvel’s “house style” of high contrast shots, bright colors, easy humor, and breezy attitude. Daredevil is filmed in murky blacks, greens, and yellows and plays up the idea that Daredevil is Marvel’s Batman.  It’s also somewhat predicated on the idea that all that damage and destruction to New York from the first Avengers movie maybe had a consequence. The show veers more toward the violent and the gritty, which is a big factor in my friend’s less-than-enthusiastic endorsement. Nonetheless, it scored well with critics and with lots of fans.

Status: renewed for season 2, to air on Netflix in 2016

"Just try and catch me, bad ratings."

The Flash

Along with Agent Carter, The Flash is the best comic book property that this year’s television season brought us. In the same joined universe as Arrow, the show is a fast-paced (I’m never going to stop with these speed puns) take on a classic superhero. By embracing the elements of the character that made The Flash a touchstone in the world of comics, the show has reaped a lot of dividends. The trend in a lot of superhero stories is to get away from the more ludicrous story elements of the comic books. The Flash took that notion and ran away from it. It managed to make Gorilla Grodd an effective character, for God’s sake. What’s more, the series was immensely popular, outperforming Arrow and forcing that show to rethink how it would conduct its next season. DC Comics has taken heat for how it plans to manage all its properties, from the upcoming shared universe movies like Batman vs. Superman to Arrow and The Flash, but this show may hold the method to their madness. Season one ended with an acknowledgement that the multiverse is real, opening up the possibility that all of the DC properties are, in fact, connected even if they seem contradictory. The Flash plans on delving even deeper into the multiverse next year when it returns.

Status: renewed for season 2, to air this fall

So much rain, you guys. Seriously, so much rain."

Gotham

Oh, Gotham. Where do I begin with you? You know I’m a huge Batman fan, so you’ve pretty much got my attention from the start. I’ll never quit you. That said, let’s tighten things up a bit in season two, mmkay? Gotham made strides in its first season by establishing a very lived-in Gotham City. The show was stylized and beautiful to look at. And what they got right, they nailed: Carmen Bicondova’s Selina Kyle is precisely how Selina should be played as a young teenager. Donal Logue is Harvey Bullock and Robin Lord Taylor has earned the praise he’s gotten for his portrayal of the Penguin. Now the show needs to focus on fixing its two weakest links: Jim Gordon and Bruce Wayne, ostensibly the heroes of the show. Gotham was predicated on the notion that the show was going to be more about the development of Batman’s villains than on him. In that sense, the show has succeeded because the “evil” characters are by far more interesting to watch. The problem is that we still need to feel like we’re on the side of Gordon and Bruce Wayne, even if Bruce is still only a child. Creating compelling, layered bad guys is important for good storytelling, but as long as the narrative focus is always returning to Jim and Bruce the show will have a hard time capitalizing on its biggest assets.

Status: renewed for season 2, to air this fall

Undeath is no excuse for an unrefined palate. 

iZombie

Last but not least, the little zombie show that could. As a comic book property, iZombie is perennially overshadowed by its bigger siblings, the superheroes and that other zombie show that people are losing their heads over. That positioning is unfortunate, because iZombie is delightful. It’s the story of Liv Moore (yes, that’s on the nose), a medical resident who is bit by a zombie at “the world’s worst boat party” and awakes to find herself desiring brains. Unable to connect with her old life, Liv becomes a medical examiner and discovers that if she eats the brains of bodies brought in, she can take on flashes of their memories and personality which, natch, she does to help solve crimes. So long as she regularly eats, Liv seems to be a normal, if pale, girl, so much so that her family and friends hardly notice that anything has happened other than assuming her new more lethargic personality is the result of the trauma of the “boating accident” she was involved in. The show plays with melodrama and humor masterfully, which is to be expected given that the show was developed by Rob Thomas and Diane Ruggiero-Wright, the creators of Veronica Mars. As such, the show contains some of the same DNA as their previous creation. Liv is, essentially, Veronica if she had moved to Seattle, become a zombie, and grew up in a slightly less paranoid home. The same noir-tinged voiceovers and wit that made Veronica Mars memorable to fans is on display here. The show was praised by critics and fans, although some fans were displeased by the in some cases significant departures that the show makes from the comic book.  iZombie was probably the biggest surprise of this season and season two looks to continue the trend.

Status: renewed for season 2, to air this fall

So, winners and losers of the 2014-2015 comic book television season? The Flash and Agent Carter are comfortably sitting on top, followed closely by iZombie. All three had positive fan and critical reactions and all three are coming back for their second season. Daredevil and Arrow occupy the middle ground; both were solid entries into the genre, however both darker and both shows that took themselves far too seriously at times. Gotham and Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. come next; both shows are very high concept and will have hardcore fans loving what they’re doing. They both have the backing of their parent companies probably more than either one deserve, but that alone should keep them chugging along for at least a while. Constantine, the only show not to be renewed, is sadly the biggest loser. Fans of the character know, however, that John Constantine usually finds a way to show up in places where he wasn’t supposed to be, so we’ll see how long it will be before he’s mucking things up for everyone again.

But wait! There’s more! This post gives you a sense of the current slate of comic book shows, but next season is going to nearly double the number of properties on your television. For a full run-down of the new comic book characters about to grace your screen this coming year, check back soon.

Bosch - newish from Amazon Prime

Hello, blog readers. I'm Ben, author of the instant classics guest posts on Daredevil and Peaky Blinders. Maggie Cats recruited me to come on full-time because I already had a clever Blogger handle: "the Pedant." As a name, it's both a promise and a threat.

I'm one of those "cord nevers" the cable company likes to pretend don't exist; I use my DSL to consume from streaming services, as well as taking advantage that someone else's parents pay good money for HBO GO. As a result, my posts will mostly be about the things that I dredge up from Netflix and Amazon Prime.

Today, I'm going to tell you about the fun new(ish, came out in February) Amazon Prime-only series Bosch. It's based on a series of books by writer Michael Connelly, which I haven't read, but I'm told are pretty good. In both books and show, LAPD detective Heironymous "Harry" Bosch solves crimes and gets justice, law and "the rules" be damned.

Harry Bosch is played by Titus Welliver, whom you may remember as "SHIELD Agent who Deathlok stomped into a coma in season one":

"Wait, Patton Oswalt gets a regular gig on this show, and I don't?"

Or perhaps as "Starfleet officer murdering intelligent beings for spaceship fuel" in Star Trek: Voyager:

"The Paramount folks found this expression too intense for Star Trek."

He's generally a character actor for shows (Sons of Anarchy, The Good Wife), which is sad, because Titus Welliver is actually a pretty decent actor, which I did not define by lowering the bar to "not having a brow-heavy glower in every scene."

While Harry Bosch does have his share of brow-heavy glowers (how could he not?), he's a troubled soul with a large arsenal of non-glower facial expressions. The season starts with Bosch shooting a suspected serial killer who turns out maybe to be unarmed, and he gets sued for it.

Bosch being in trouble for doing the right thing in sort of the wrong way is a recurring theme. His respect for police procedure and "the rules" is at his convenience, but he does get caught for it. Usually, though, he gets off with only a minor penalty because he did in fact stop a very bad guy, although it's not because the bad guy was bad, it's because punishing Bosch would be politically inconvenient for the LAPD. 

And then, for the first season's story arc, some other police find Evil Clone of Mark Ruffalo (Jason Gedrick, previously on Dexter) with a murdered male prostitute in the back of his panel van.

"I swear I have no idea how that rent boy got into my panel van to then stun gun and strangle himself to death."

Dark Ruffalo is named Raynard Waits, and after a day of pretending he knows nothing about anything, he then claims to have murdered a bunch of folks, including a a long-dead child whose remains Bosch has just found. But Bosch is pretty sure Dark Ruffalo didn't commit that murder. 

Finding out who did, and whether Dark Ruffalo will get his due, provides the tension for the season. And it is tense. Promising leads go nowhere, Bosch makes ill-considered decisions in his personal and professional life, and the higher-ups in the LAPD (mostly The Wire's Lance Reddick, playing a different high-ranking policeman) and District Attorney's office are scheming to take maximum political advantage of the fallout. 

Did I mention the opening theme? It's Caught a Ghost's "Can't Let Go," which is the best expression of jazzy jadedness towards life since Morphine's "The Night." It predisposes you to a story of grit, of perseverance against near-certain failure, of an ugly world that still needs saving. It's a great theme. 

So, if you have Amazon Prime, spend some time watching Bosch. Unless you hate gritty detective stories, you won't regret it. 

Marvel's Agents of SHIELD Season 2: A Mac Attack review

Remember last Fall when we all waited breathlessly for the premiere of SHIELD? And then the internet was like blah blah blah I hate it or blah blah blah I love it or blah blah blah I only watch things based on DC Comics? But then we stuck with SHIELD and it got really awesome in the Spring after the new Captain America movie? Well, even if you don't remember any of that--the second season of SHIELD has started and ready to weigh in on whether things have improved or gone down hill is Mac Attack. 

Warning: Spoilers. 

Let's begin with the TL;DR. I liked it, but it wasn't amazing. If my cousin is more indicative of the general audience than I am, the changes will be, on balance, positive.

I personally didn't like them. That said, this whole review comes under the caveat that In Joss We Trust, and also that the show is (in my opinion) supported by the broader Marvel Cinematic Universe as a whole, so there's no question but that I'll keep watching it. In short, it's less "great" and more "good" now. 

Breakdown. 

Director Coulson. What's up with him? He used to be Superman, in that he was the paragon of hope. Nothing could ever change his innate nature, his trust in himself, in his mission, in the ultimate goodness of humanity that had to be protected at all costs. Towards the end of last season he went through some stuff that made him darker for a while, but he seemed at times to be fighting to maintain that belief, even though he admitted it was faith. I sorta wish they'd found drama in other places and let this one thing be the solid foundation of the show, but at least then it was still an interesting conflict. Now... he just seems sorta waffling. He cares about his team, but he wants to take risks, and he'll stay in the shadows but look towards the light... It's more "real", I suppose, but also more boring. They could have achieved the same effect by introducing outside pressure (like from Melinda) that forces him to act that way, while maintaining the interesting parts of him. I'm not saying it's not a valid character choice, but it's a downgrade from what he used to be. 

I know people wanted more shout-outs to Marvel Canon. Here you go. Absorbing Man.

Here you go, canon fans. ... And ladies. 

I actually like how they're doing this. Pick a bunch of D-listers, take the name and power, then do your own thing with it. I would still have been in favor of an even more original, unique take, but if it keeps my cousin happy, I'll take it. I really think they threaded the needle on this one. They're giving the people who want this to be just an extension of the comics 90% of what they want, and giving people like me, who want something new and think the comics are a hot mess, 90% of what we want. Neither side is totally happy, but both sides keep watching.

Anyone who actually thinks Lucy Lawless's character is dead, raise her hand. Sidenote, that was a LOT of trust on Absorbing Man's part that rubber is immune to the Obelisk.

So... big dangerous mission, we're gonna take the risks, we need to win... and they get, what, a cool jet? To replace the cool jet they can't use anymore? We'll risk EVERYTHING to... maintain the status quo.

Seeing Skye in the field doing a good job with guns was a nice change.

Absorbing Man's trick of using the glass to turn invisible and draw in the guards was smarter than I give that character credit for.

Their handling of Talbot was masterful. Saving/kidnapping him, demonstrably wanting to get one thing out of him while secretly getting another thing, playing him like a puppet... add this to the fact that they have the team all doing each other's jobs (Skye's in the field while Trip's running computers) and I'm starting to suspect they poached some of the Leverage writers, which would be a huge positive in my book.

A few things I hate. 

The show has gotten stupider. Ontology is following intent, and that's always a bad thing. Absorbing Man had about a 45 second headstart on Agent Xena. How could he possibly have known where she was going, AND gotten ahead of her? And I don't totally agree with the physics of the crash. Perhaps they'll fix it later, explain that one of the mercenaries was a traitor or this Doctor Evilface dude was tracking them via GPS and somehow had a vehicle for Absorbing Man that was faster than a speeding car trying to go as fast as it could in a straight line on an empty road. If this is not at least referenced in the next episode (how could he POSSIBLY have gotten there in time?) I will be greatly disappointed.

Ward's imprisonment, he'll only talk to Skye, he's got an agenda and will attack psychologically. Skye is initially hesitant to meet with him and acts aggressive at the start. We, the audience, will slowly gain sympathy for him while Skye does. This sympathy will cause conflict between Skye and the people Ward's actually hurt, like Fitz. His ultimate betrayal of Skye's newfound trust results in his escape, while still somehow leaving potential room for his true redemption. Sorry, already saw the second season of Alias.

Absorbing Man's guards see him gone, so they immediately open the door and walk into the room. Because apparently they got kicked out of the Evil Overlord's Legion of Terror. I get that we were supposed to believe they weren't as good at being guards as SHIELD agents would have been, but did they have to be suicidally, mind-numbingly stupid?

A lot of potential. 

A lot of things weren't addressed in this premiere. I'm not against this, I think they did cover a lot, and I can't think of what I'd suggest they give up in order to cover these other things. I am looking forward to them finally being addressed.

Does Skye think of Ward, the man who trained her, when she's out in the field kicking ass with guns now? 

Melinda. We got almost nothing with her, though I love the complexities of her arrangement with Coulson. He's in charge of her and the mission, she's in charge of him as a resurrected half-alien. And they're both good enough at what they do to make this complicated relationship work. Mostly. Check in more often, Coulson. Don't be that trope.

I'm glad they've basically gotten rid of Fitz and Simmons, they were the show's crutch. I liked them as characters, and I'm glad they're still on the show, but they would just magic-science every problem. Now the characters will have to solve problems with skill and cleverness, and not just, "I've analyzed this and here's a magic antidote".

It was awesome seeing Carter's shout-out, odd that she calls it the end of Hydra, yay she's with the Howling Commandos. And interesting tie-in, now we know why "mysterious artifacts" are called 084's. It's these subtle details that really flesh out the world. This is why I will always keep watching.

A Guardians of the Galaxy tie-in was asking for too much; I can't think of a reference I would have actually liked, anyway.

From Risks above; too often, "take a risk" gets translated in TV to "try something that seems dangerous but then win big and get everything." I like that there was sacrifice. Things went wrong, costs were paid, but they got something for it. Tension. Yay.

Predictions. 

"He can absorb the properties of whatever he touches, we don't know how." A foreshadow to the 'age of miracles' from the end of Winter Soldier? Is this the beginning of a tie-in to Avengers: Age of Ultron?

The Obelisk, when activated, has runes on it like Garett and Coulson draw. Obviously a Kree artifact.

Oh, and a female lead changed her hair-style. I think I'm supposed to care about that, it prolly says something deep and meaningful about gender roles. I don't really care.

Wow...what a searing indictment of...um, wavy hair?

The CW: Shows Old and New

We're now a couple weeks into the new television season, but the premieres are still coming fast and it's still overwhelming me and my DVR so I am dedicating one post to almost everything on The CW. It kind of pains me to admit this, but The CW might be my favorite network. I know, I know. This basically cinches it--I am really a 15 year old fangirl at heart. But I stand by my opinion that the CW is producing some of the best sci-fi television out there. Just look at the shows I'm discussing below and you'll see what I mean.

Oh, and btw, I am not discussing the new show Reign, about Mary Queen of Scots in this post. Mostly because it just aired last night and I haven't seen it yet, but also because I am going to give it a stand-alone review post. I am that excited about it, you guys.

Let's start with the new shows!

The Tomorrow People: the concept for this one is kind of like a blend of Heroes and SHIELD. Genetic mutations have caused some people to be born with special powers (though in this world they are limited to the three Ts--teleportation, telekinenis, and telepathy) that manifest in the teen years. There's a shadowy organization called Ultra hunting down the special folk, but also a group of renegades who call themselves The Tomorrow People who are forced to live in hiding. Both groups are trying to track down teens who are just "breaking out" with their powers. Our hero, Steve, is connected to both the organization and the rebels, but I don't want to give anything away since the plot is actually kind of twisty and neat.Oh, and Steve may be a SUPER special type of special.

This show surprised me by actually being good. Of course, all the characters are impossibly good looking, but while that bothered me about SHIELD, here it kind of works? Maybe because it has more of a younger focus, but for some reason I actually prefer The Tomorrow People to the more "adult" SHIELD (may Joss Whedon forgive me). The show has more of a feel of rock and roll, of getting down and dirty with the concept, and there is also just more of a sense of fun.  There isn't any new ground being broken here in terms of the genre, but I found myself drawn into the plot. The writers have tossed several story balls in the air (who and where is Steve's father??) and there were some delightful twists in the pilot episode. Like I said, I don't want to give anything away, but fans of sci-fi should definitely check out The Tomorrow People, despite the lame title.

Apparently the gene for super powers is intertwined with the gene for pretty.

The Tomorrow People airs Wednesdays at 9 on the CW.

The Originals: Moving the "original vampires" off of The Vampire Diaries was a great idea in theory; the plot of VD had really become too bogged down with the melodrama of Klaus and his merry band of sociopathic siblings. But I wish I could say that giving them their own show was working out in everyone's favor. It's not like the show is offensively bad or anything, and if you enjoyed the scene-chewing of the Originals over on VD you'll find a lot to like about the new show. It's just that the first few episodes have seemed like a lot of plot rehashing, exposition, and repetitiveness. In episode 3 there is finally some actual plot movement and character-building, but you have to wade through two hours to get there. I do appreciate the more adult-look of the show and the New Orleans setting, but The Originals is going to have to throw more at me to keep me interested. Building up the character of current vampire king-of-the-city Marcel is a good start--I am intrigued by him. Also he's pretty. I'd give this one a solid C for average; I'll stick with it, at least for now, but could quickly lose interest.

The Originals airs Tuesdays at 8:00 on the CW.

And now for some returning favorites!

Arrow: I don't think I have ever seen a season premiere episode as well-executed as the Arrow premiere. Our hero has a new goal: he is no longer a vigilante but is going to be a full-blown hero (YES). There's some new mysterious badass characters in town, relationships between everyone have been shaken up, and there is a even a hint of new romance in the air (again YES). Oh, and River Tam (Summer Glau) has joined the cast so you know that is going to be awesome. Even in the island flashbacks--when we discover how and why Oliver Queen became a total archery ninja--there are new plots afoot. Basically, Arrow is just as fun and exciting as it was in the first season and the new story elements have me really looking forward to the season to come. If you aren't watching this show....seriously, just watch the damn show.

Arrow airs Wednesday at 8:00 on the CW.

The Vampire Diaries: Now that the original vampires are off on their own show, we can move forward with the whole Silas thing. Except I kind of find that whole plot stupid and never really got it. But it seems like all you need to know is that Silas is some uber-powerful immortal witch who looks just like Stefan (more dopplegangers, oh yay) and can read minds and compel anyone, even vampires. I'm not quite clear on what his end game is, but it involves finding the now human Katherine, and since I love Katherine I am all for this plot. Elena and Caroline are apparently unearthing some weird secret society at their college which has me mildly interested, but that seems to all be on hold while we deal again with Stefan as a Hungry Hungry Vampire. Hardly any show on television does plot twists and momentum the way The Vampire Diaries does, but they need to stop recycling plots and try out some new ideas this season. I'm kind of meh so far, which is sad because I really enjoy the show.

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8:00 on the CW.

Supernatural: *yawn*

I'll never stop watching Supernatural because of my undying love of Jensen Ackles, but seriously guys. Step it the fuck up. This angels and demons crap has been old for three years now and I just. don't. care. And enough with the manufactured secrets between Dean and Sam. How about this? We actually have the brothers work together toward a common goal. That was why the first few seasons were so good.

I just really wanted an excuse to post a picture of Jensen. Jared, honey, get out of the shot, mmkay? If we need someone to cry like a little bitch we know where to find you.

Supernatural airs Tuesdays at 9:00 on the CW.

Coming up next time on the blog: a review of Reign. Or as I like to think of it: Teen Tudors.

Checking back in with SHIELD

This blog post is coming at you because of the awesome IT guy at my office, Jonathan. He spent countless hours this week helping me resolve some issues with my work-at-home computer and by way of thanks, I told him he could pick the topic of my next blog post. His response? "Write about SHIELD." Done and done, Jonathan; this one's for you!

Let's get one thing straight right here at the beginning: I will not be typing Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. every time I talk about the show. It is will henceforth be just SHIELD. First, I think a name that long is just ridiculous for a tv show. And second, I am WAY too lazy to type out all those periods between those letters.

So, SHIELD! What do we think so far?

I talked briefly about the show based on the pilot and liked it, but had a few minor quibbles. Now that we're three episodes in...I still feel basically the same. It's fun, it's action-packed, it looks great (both the actors and the production values), and in the words of fellow TV Slut, Caroline, "Clark Gregg will not be denied."

There's no doubt that without an actor (and character) as interesting as Clark Gregg and Agent Coulson, SHIELD would fail. Coulson is literally the center of the show, which is saying something with such a large ensemble cast. But he's the glue that's holding everyone together--both plot and acting wise--and it's a good thing Clark Gregg is so awesome. He has a remarkable talent for playing the straight man, but making the straight man the funniest guy in the room. He is simultaneously a BAMF and child-like in his love for the sheer coolness of his job (and the toys). Some people might think bringing Agent Coulson back from the grave was a cheat and robbed The Avengers of its most emotional moment, but I couldn't be happier. More Clark Gregg is always a good thing.

Now for those quibbles. Before I start down this path I want to make clear that I really like SHIELD. Like I said, I think it's fun and I really enjoy watching it. Having said that....my main problem with the show is two-fold. My first issue is with the supporting cast. Other than Ming-Na Wen, none of the other actors are anywhere near the league of Clark Gregg. For my money, they are all interchangeable with all the other blandly attractive white people working on all other procedural dramas right now.  It's not entirely their fault; none of them have thus far been given interesting back stories or character notes to bite into. Other than a propensity to spout cute and quippy dialogue, none has really made an impression. So I am hoping that as we move forward we'll start to explore more about the other characters.

Oh, and Skye's hair always being perfect is kind of pissing me off.

My other minor issue is that so far, there is a lack of serialization. I know networks are scared to go down this path, but the whole "monster of the week" things is already getting a little stale and we're only three episodes in. Fringe tried to keep their episodes more self-contained in the first season and it didn't really work out for them. I am hopeful that SHIELD will bump up the mythology and over-arching threats in the coming months.

And there you have it! In my humble yet obviously correct opinion, SHIELD remains the most promising new drama of the season and the one I am (still) most excited about. I am fairly confident that any issues the show has now will be resolved as time goes on, especially if Joss Whedon has the same kind of input he did for the pilot episode.

SHIELD airs Tuesday nights at 8:00 on ABC.

Yup, he's just that awesome.

The Hollow Crown Part Two: It's Only a Flesh Wound

In the Yeare of our Lorde Fourteen Hundred and Plague, Henry IV reigns. He has been the king since taking the crown of Richard II to become the first Lancaster king of England.

Willie Shakes wrote this aroundabouts 1597, but there's really no way of knowing for sure, since Willie Shakes didn't actually exist, amiright? 

First off, I want to start by saying that one thing I loved about this production was that the Welsh characters (Hotspur, Lord Percy, et al) actually sound Welsh. A Welsh accent being what it is, it sounds very similar to what is known in the biznit as OP. That is, Original Pronunciation. That is, what Shakespeare and his contemporaries likely actually sounded like when they spoke Early Modern English. I thought this was a really clever way of sticking some OP goodness into the production, instead of everyone flouncing around with posh RP pronunciation. Not that I am down on posh RP. I can do it like a boss and I often launch into it upon a fortnight with little provocation. Whether it was director Sam Mendes's intention or not to give us a little OP to go with our supper, it was not lost on me and 'twas most appreciated, good sirrah.


During the course of Henry IV, Part I, the aging king has more than his fair share of Medieval England Problems. He just could not wait to be king, and now that he's got the job, he's finding it comes with a lot of work-related stress. He so thought that pillaging the Holy Land to absolve himself of guilt over Richard II's murder would be therapeutic for him, but as it turns out, not so much. Those pesky Scottish and Welsh subjects are agitating for autonomy AGAIN, and even though the Percy (Northumberland) family helped him overthrow Richard II, Henry feels like they're being completely unreasonable, too. 

#99Problems

The title of the play is kind of a misnomer. It really isn't about Henry IV at all. He's a presence in the movie, but his part is very small and he's much more of a background character, and he's honestly not a terribly interesting character. Jeremy Irons is the type of seasoned, veteran actor dude to pull off the part and make it memorable and significant. Henry wouldn't work at all without someone like Irons in the role, and if there isn't a good Henry to bring urgency to Hal's situation, then play just doesn't work. Mostly, he's concerned about the succession and his legacy after he dies, and he spends a lot of time ranting and nagging Hal about straightening up. There's not a whole lot of depth to him as a human being in this part of Henry IV, and the way the character is written is sort of static and uninteresting, but his story is more or less the engine of the play. So, in sum, Henry's way more boring in this play than he is in Richard II. Apparently, he goes batshit in Part II. We can look forward to that. 

Really, the play is more about the dichotomy between Prince Hal and Henry Percy (Hotspur). I'll let the professors parse out the complexity of their relationship, but it's no coincidence that they share a name (Henry) and similar personality traits. However, they express themselves in different ways. While Hal sows the proverbial wild oats of youth in taverns, drinking wine and banging whores, Hotspur spends most of his time ignoring his wife (Lady Mary Crawley herself, Michelle Dockery) and fuming over the indignities Henry has been subjecting the Percy family to. They're both idiots, but Hal only emerges as the champion of the play because he wises up. 

Back to the plot. Adding to Henry's troubles is that his son, Prince Hal (later Henry V) is a drunk frat boy. By "drunk frat boy," I mean he is fucking awesome. In case you were wondering why Tom Hiddleston isn't Loki-ing around on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (that is fucking annoying, Clovis), it seems he's given up on trying to take over freaking Space Norway in favor rejecting the throne of England for dipsomania and potential VD, and also inadvertently making your pants spontaneously fly off.  

Hal spends most of his time carousing with his friend Ned Poins (who is also kind of hot), and a fat old drunken whoring nobleman. No, that's not Hagrid's midget cousin. That's Sir John Falstaff (Simon Russell Beale), who I'm guessing needs little introduction. Falstaff is what you'd expect. He's uncouth and drinks a bunch. There are a lot of shenanigans. And nonsense. And also foolhardiness. 

Ahh. If only you'd seen my Santa Claus back in '86.

Anyhoo. Harry Percy, or Hotspur, is emo, but Henry thinks that he'd rather have Hotspur for a son because Hotspur does his noble duty and goes out and kills Scottish people like he's supposed to, whereas his own son is drunk at the bar. Kids these days.

At the start of the play, Henry whines about how his son is a layabout and a good-for-nothing and a slacker. These mid-millenials. Interrupting his self-pity-a-thon are Hotspur and Lord Percy. Hotspur's been out battling the Douglas at Holmedon like a good laddie. Henry wants Hotspur to return the Scottish prisoners that Hotspur took in action, and Hotspur is like no. Hotspur wants the king to ransom his wife's brother, Edward Mortimer, who's been taken prisoner by Owen Glendower (most Welsh name ever). The king goes ballistic, basically because he's a control freak, and insults Lord Percy and Hotspur. 

Hotspur: The king is being a total asshat.

Lord Percy: I know, right?

Remember when the Earl of Northumberland helped Henry overthrow Richard II? Yeah, those were good times. The Percys sure do remember that Henry owes his throne to the support of nobles like themselves, and they are PISSED that Henry is dissing them.

MEANWHILE back at the whorehouse, Falstaff decides that he, Hal and Poins should rob a merry band of travelers who are making their way into the shire. Because reasons. Hal and Points decide that that is not enough highjinksery for them, so they don't show up to meet Falstaff at the appointed time, and Falstaff has to do the highwayman thing all on his own. Falstaff robs the travelers (who really deserve to be robbed if they can have their asses kicked by Falstaff), and then Hal and Poins jump out from behind some trees to surprise Falstaff and steal the money that Falstaff stole. It's like Robin Hood, but postmodern. Hal returns the money to Falstaff, and they all go back to drinking and wenching. All is right with the world. 

Falstaff: You! Elf! Get back to making toys!

Hal: And more wine!

Falstaff! Yes! More wine!

Hal: And more whores!

Falstaff: Yes. More whores, more wine, and more toys. I said now, elf!

Over at castle Northumberland, Hotspur is raging against the machine. His obsessive anger with the king has not gone unnoticed by his wife, Kate.

Lady Kate Percy's Diary:

Weather: Bleak.

Shags: 0. If possible to have negative shag balance, am probably getting there.

Weight: Same. However, have been eating cold roasted peacock sandwiches, butter directly out of churn, and some cheese off wheel when servants are asleep. If someone would invent ice cream, would be grateful. Weight gain: imminent. Am defo not preggers.

Harry Status: Continues raging. Day 7 of tirade. Am hoping tires himself out but has been up all night ranting about king. 

"Don't marry the Welsh guy," said friends. Wonder if that cheesemonger in Surrey is still single...

In a play comprised almost entirely of dudebros, Kate Percy has one of the best monologues in the whole damn thing -- actually, it's one of the best monologues in Shakespeare.  Kate is, of course, played by Michelle Dockery. She's a clever choice for the part because it's giving the people what they want, and the people want more Downton Abbey. 

This is for all of you Downton Abbey fans who can't stand to see Lady Mary with anyone but Matthew.

Hotspur's all up in arms this time because he got a letter from one of his noble kinsemen in re: Hotspur's request for them to join in Hotspur's plan to overthrow the thing. Survey says: No. Kate threatens to castrate Hotspur if he doesn't tell her what he's up to, then he insults her, tells her he doesn't love her, and throws her on the bed. Real winner you've got there, Kate! Hotspur's worried that his kinsmen will betray him and tattletale to Henry, so he leaves to go plot his rebellion, and tells Kate that she can, like, join him in a few days or... he'll call her or...whatever.

Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!

Because Henry IV has got a serious case of he oldz, he's really concerned that he's going to die and leave England without a decent king. The guy is one rebellion away from a triple bypass. He's got his little spies everywhere, and he's aware that Hotspur & Friends are a-plottin' and he's got to get Hal to sober up long enough to walk a straight line and maybe get stabby with a few rebellious folks. 

Henry: Ohhh, my prostate.

Hal: Soo...just to clarify. No hookers ever again or just tone it down a bit?

Henry: Ahh! My acid reflux.

Hal: Okay. Bad time to ask. Did you see I killed that guy-

Henry: Shut up! 

Henry summons Hal into his throne room, and Hal shows up and Henry is is all like, 

Henry lays some smack down on Hal and tells him this drunkenness, tomfoolery, monkey business, frequenting of strumpets, and general errant knavery have got to stop. LIKE RIGHT THIS MINUTE. He tells Hal that he is just like Richard II (only Henry hasn't had him imprisoned yet) and thinks Hal is going to go over to Hotspur's side in the rebellion. Henry's speech itself kind of goes on and on without much point, but it spurs (ha!) emotion in Hal.

 Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps.

Hal reassures Henry that he's got it all wrong. He swears to fight against Hotspur and to take any action necessary to prevent Hotspur & Friends from taking over their rightfully...er...stolen crown.

And THEN Sir Walter Blunt enters and alerts them to the fact that Douglas, who's leading the Scottish rebels, has joined forces with the English rebels near Shrewsbury and they're getting ready to attack. OH NOES. 

Over at Castle Glendower in Wales, Percy and the other rebels have gathered to plot their battle against the king, and this is where we meet Glendower's daughter, Lady Mortimer, who's married to Kate Percy's brother. Yeah, I think I've got that right.  She doesn't speak any English, and Mortimer doesn't speak any Welsh, and neither of them have bothered to learn the other's language for, you know, relationship purposes. I guess that would require literacy. Hey, don't judge. I'm sure they connect on other levels. They gather in the evening to have a fancy dinner party before they all die horrible deaths or are executed or torn apart limb from limb or are banished and whatnot.

This isn't Chanel? Then WTF is it? "A skinned muppet"? Okay. What is a muppet?

Lady Mortimer doesn't have any lines per se in the play, but she does get to babble incoherently in Welsh. Needless to say, I would be all over that part like it was my job. Lady Mortimer decides to give a concert for the rebel alliance, and there's a moment where Kate and Hotspur appear to set aside their differences for the sake of snuggletime. They sneak off during Lady Mortimer's song for a make-up quickie.

Weather: Continues bleak.

Shags: 1. Harry. Against cold stone wall in dank castle. Bum: a bit cold.

This Enya music is making me horny. 

That brings us up to Act IV, or thereabouts. This is where it starts to get real. It's all Empire vs. Rebel Alliance from here on out. 

In Shrewsbury, which is near Wales, Hotspur, Worcester (pronounced Wooster) and Douglas are discussing their strategy when this guy shows up and tells Hotspur that his father is too sick to fight that day. Really? You've got fat old fuckin' Falstaff waddling onto the battlefield to support Hal and the king, but Lord Percy can't toddle his sorry ass to the fight? I call shenanigans. AS IF THAT IS NOT ENOUGH BAD NEWS FOR ONE EFFING DAY, Vernon shows up and tells Hotspur that Henry's other son, Prince John, is, like totally headed their way with a bunch of soldiers, AND the king AND Hal are on their way with a bunch of other soldiers. Vernon has seen Hal on a horse, and he looks completely regal and is totes ready for Hotspur to baaaariiiing it. 

SPARTAAAAAAANNNS!!

AND AND AND. Glendower is bailing. Well, I guess he's not technically bailing, but he can't assemble enough forces together before the battle. This would maybe be a good time to BACK THE FUCK OFF, but Hotspur says NOPE. We are going to fight this thing to the end, and he expresses a wish to have a mano a mano confrontation with Hal. 

Hotspur: We're going to win, right?
Dudebro: Oh, yeah. Totally! 
Hotspur: YOLO!

The battle is actually pretty cool, and should, I hope, satisfy all the stage combat and SCA nerds out there. It's not exactly Orcs vs. Elves or Harry vs. Voldemort (I said it), but it's pretty exciting and historically accurate from a combat perspective. Hal is wounded, but he's got his vow to redeem himself to keep in mind, and, though wounded, he meets Hotspur in one-on-one combat and kills him.

Yeah, that's right. I stabbed you. Mind THAT gap, bitch.

I'm not sure who delivers the tragic news to Kate Percy, but I'm guessing she's sensing a theme. 

The rebellion thus quashed, and the rebels either killed in battle or executed, King Henry is able to hang onto his ill-gotten throne and Falstaff lives to drink and whore another day. So, a net gain for our fair city.

Obviously, the play is much richer than what I've presented here for you, and there's way too much going on in the movie for me to have room for to recap for you fine folks here. There's a new episode airing this week, and that will be Henry IV, Part II: The Wonder Years. Head over to PBS.org for more info.

It's a Game of Thrones!