Contain Your Excitement

Did you catch CW’s “limited series event” Containment? No? Hooray! The US public health system works!

Seriously, if you’ve been fortunate enough to avoid infection with this particular bug, you can count yourself lucky. For reasons surpassing my own understanding, I’ve been watching it since it began back in April and as it sputters and spasms into the final stretch, coughing, wheezing, and bleeding from its various orifices along the way, I’m here to tell you about the experience.

The first sign of infection is Resting Bitch Face

First, a crucial question: Have you seen the movie Outbreak? How about The Andromeda Strain? Maybe Cabin Fever? Any of these? Yes? Congrats! You’ve already seen everything that you could possibly see in Containment. You have met your quota for disease outbreak contrivances. Please feel free to take a break and maybe watch a rom-com. If you answered no to any of those, get thee to Netflix and enjoy. There is a world of better viewing options if what you want to see is characters wrestling with an invisible antagonist that turns their own bodies against them, a healthy dose of gory body horror, and the requisite slow, creeping paranoia that attends both.

In the meantime, here’s what you need to know about the premise of Containment: After a highly virulent strain of bird flu breaks out in inner city Atlanta, the CDC and a particularly unbelievable government official from the US Department of Homeland Security decide the only way to prevent the disease from becoming a global threat is to literally barricade the downtown core of the city with freight cars stacked on each other and lock in any potential infected until a treatment or cure can be devised. What follows is the usual mix of relationships torn asunder, new relationships forged, people acting like post-apocalyptic asshats, and, of course, blood and coughing. Lots and lots of blood and coughing.

"Hey Bob. Another day at the office in the quarantine zone, amirite? I hear ya, I hear ya."

The characters resemble a paint-by-numbers book: There’s One Good Cop who is on the outside of the cordon and just trying to do right by the people inside. His Strong Female Character sorta fiancé is only inside the cordon because she decided to go to work instead of agree to move her stuff into his apartment because she has Commitment Issues. There’s Innocent Pregnant Teenager, her Initially Evil But Really Loves Her mother, and her Earnest But Misunderstood Inner City Baby Daddy who just wants to be a good father so he actually breaks into the cordon. Attempting to carry the emotional core of the show is Tougher Than She Looks Schoolteacher, who is trapped with her elementary school class inside the cordon on the world’s worst field trip. Tougher Than She Looks Schoolteacher has a meet cute thing going with Trying To Learn About Responsibility Police Officer who has been a slacker most of his life but is being forced into adulthood by virtue of being one of the only armed members of law enforcement trapped inside the cordon. And, of course, overseeing all of this is Nice But Possibly Shady Doctor who is inside the cordon and may know more than he seems to (spoilers: he does) and his counterpart Morally Ambiguous Government Official Who Operates With Impunity and Never Checks in with Anyone Higher Up. Said official is the one to make the decision to lock in tens of thousands of people to potentially die horrible deaths.

Any TV Sluts readers live in Atlanta? Find out if you are in the infection zone!

The Incurable Cough of Death is an uncredited character, though really should have top billing by number of appearances alone. Second billing should go to White Handkerchief/White T-Shirt, which all characters must have on them in order to make that first bloody cough really pop.

Clearly, I don’t think highly of Containment. On technical merits, it’s really not that bad. It’s competently filmed and looks slick. The acting is, well, not great but far from the worst I’ve ever seen. It’s just not greater than the sum of its parts, which is a quality a show needs to have, particularly if it’s treading on very familiar ground. The show unfortunately commits the one error a show is never supposed to make, the cardinal sin of television: it’s boring. Despite a legitimately strong first episode, the overall pacing of the next 10 installments is sluggish at best. Much like the infected characters that start piling up on the screen, the show limps around, gradually getting less and less lifelike. (Sorry, btw: It’s literally impossible to write this review without overly relying on cheap medical puns.)

It didn’t really have to be that way. In its first episode, Containment generates more excitement and more dread than all of Fear the Walking Dead did in the entire first season. I mean, come on! It’s a viral outbreak! That just lends itself to drama. Unfortunately, the few times the show gets interesting it’s only interesting because of characters making decisions that are SO OBVIOUSLY bad ones, you find yourself riled up at the lunacy of people acting how no human, driven by fear or otherwise, would act. It’s not until episode 10 that any real action begins to happen again. Watching the meandering plotlines and characters moving around without any direction only to begin to finally come together in the end made me wonder why the show couldn’t have just been three or four episodes, which likely would have served it better.

My reaction when I was on episode four and realized I still had eight more to go.

If, after all this, you’re still game for binging on the series, it wraps up its final episode next week. Back episodes are available from the CW. Mercifully, this disease is one that we can all get into remission from as the network has already announced that there will be no second season and the storyline will wrap up at the end of its current plot. Apparently the network had hoped that Containment could take advantage of the trend toward anthology shows, presenting either a different outbreak or a story of different people should a second season have occurred. Given that the first exposure was so ill-serving, it’s best to just let this patient go peacefully. 

DC's Legends of Tomorrow

DC Comics continues their domination of prime time with another show on the CW (from the same team that brought you Arrow and The Flash): DC's Legends of Tomorrow. In a nutshell: a group of B-side characters from other shows are brought together by a time-traveler from the future to defeat the Big Bad Guy who is bent on world domination. Does the show hold together? Guest-blogger, Karen, has the answer. --Maggie Cats 

I sat down to watch the newest foray into the DC-verse with a little trepidation...I'm WAY behind on both Arrow and The Flash. Will I be able to keep up with who is who? Will it make sense? Will I be hopelessly lost? (SPOILER...maybe).

During the first episode of DC's Legends of Tomorrow, I was bombarded with characters, back stories, and information. Of course, every time Arthur Darvill, from Doctor Who, is on screen I squeal with fan girlish delight. I love the fact he has stepped up to captain his own TARDIS...er, Waverider. But sadly, I could not keep all the other characters straight in this first hour of the pilot. Some I know from previous exposure, but many just sort of fade into their archetypical obscurity.

Umm...that's a lot of legends. 

Here's what I actually got:

White Canary - Tortured, sad assassin, previously dead, needs a good mission give her life meaning.

Bad guy thieves (who are quite entertaining but thus far sadly nameless for me) - want to steal antiquities and are easy to catch.

Weird, merged fire hero - old guy + young guy = fiery hero? Old guy wants to have adventures, young guy really liked when he was, thank-you-very-much.

Hawkman and Hawkgirl - Reincarnated lovers who fight Vandal Savage, the Big Bad, again and again. Hawkman is way more up to speed, with his past lives, though meeting her son apparently jolts some of Hawkgirl's memories. Apparently they had a son in a past life. Wonder how many children they left behind, lifetime after lifetime of battles and deaths?

The Atom - It's Ant Man! Only it's not. And he's really smart! But nobody takes him seriously. He's kind of a big kid needing affection and attention. Well, this is going to end badly.

Rip Hunter - It's Doctor Rory! Man, I love Arrthur Darvill. He plays tormented but good intentioned so well!
Vandal Savage - The bad guy. Who we are TOLD is awful and terrible and we even see him DO awful things but he....falls terribly flat. Where's the menace? Where's the savagery? He seems so calm and not scary. Maybe I've been spoiled, but I want some terror with my eternal evil menace. Maybe he needs some good theme music, like Darth Vader.

Watch out! HE HAS A BIG STICK! And a sweet beard.

In the first hour we meet our hero team and have our first trip through time! In which we go to the 1970s. Woo. Big whoop. The team finds the man who can track Vandal Savage, who we learn is in fact Hawkgirl and Hawkman's son from their previous lifetime! And we learn some of their backstory. (Not enough, alas, to make them three dimensional characters yet.)

Meanwhile, we learn that JUST LIKE THE DOCTOR, this time traveler ALSO stole his ship!! Only instead of just sort of shaking their heads and collectively deciding "Time Lords will be Time Lords", his bosses send Boba Fett...er...Chronos to stop him. Chronos manages to hurt the ship and fatally wound Dr. Hawkson...surprise! You cannot change the past that easily, Hawkcouple. The trusty team ends up stuck in the time vortex or whatever they're calling it on this show while Rip makes repairs.

We also discover, along with the team, that Rip tricked them all into this gig because Savage savagely murdered his wife and son (at the beginning of the show) and none of them, not one, are legends....at least not yet. Instead, Rip plucked them from a place of relative obscurity in history as their absence (meaning, in case they die horribly) would not disrupt the timeline. Way harsh, Rip.

Legends, ASSEMBLE. Oh, wait....

I enjoyed this hour of television, but I can't say I'm enamored with Legends of Tomorrow. At least not yet. I'll give it 3 more episodes to really hook me. There are so many characters, I feel I need more time to get to know them. And the time travel better get more exotic, pronto! Because 1970s? Really?!

3.5/5 stars

DC's Legends of Tomorrow airs Thursday nights at 8:00 on the CW. You can catch the two-part pilot on CW's website.

Making a Run (heh) at The Flash

My name is Clovis and I’m the fastest blogger alive.

Okay, so that’s clearly not true given how long it’s been since I’ve published a post, but I couldn’t resist the into when talking about yet another of the pantheon of new comic book properties that are showing up on our airwaves. I speak of The Flash, of course; The CW’s Arrow spinoff chronicling the story of Barry Allen, the Fastest Man Alive.

No.  The other fastest man alive.  The white hipster-y one.

Like Arrow before it and Gotham alongside it, The Flash is another of DC Comics’ superhero stories.  Barry Allen is a forensic scientist working in Central City when he is working one night in his lab and is struck by a stray lightning bolt and falls into a wall of chemicals.  When he comes to, he finds himself with the ability to move at super speed and quickly becomes a crime fighter facing off against other oddly-powered individuals.  As with my Gotham review, this one is going to get nerdy, folks.  If you’d prefer to skip all the comic book talk and jump straight to the TV show, you can jump ahead.

Wow, what a flashy character!

The Comic Book

So here’s the fast and dirty (get used to it guys, the puns are irresistible on a topic like this) on The Flash:  Barry has super speed.  He can run faster than anything else on the planet, fast enough to run on water and generally muck about with physics in all sorts of fun ways.  He can vibrate his atoms to allow him to do things like pass through walls.  He can also, on rare occasions, transcend and travel through time due half to Einsteinian physics and half to comic book hand-wavium.  He is motivated by an almost naive desire to do good partially stemming from seeing his mother murdered mysteriously as a boy.  He is also always, ironically, late to everything.

The character is actually one of comic books longest-running legacy characters.  It’s also notable for being one of the first comic book characters to introduce the idea that a super hero could age out of his or her role and be replaced.  The character of The Flash originally dates back to 1940, the Golden Age of comic books, and was a college student named Jay Garrick who gained his super speed after inhaling water vapor. (Yes, really.)  In 1956, DC Comics streamlined its storytelling process, the first of MANY times it would do this, and integrated all its separate characters into a shared universe.  In the process, The Flash was given a different identity, costume, and background and was now Barry Allen, forensic scientist who gets his powers through that aforementioned lightning bolt.  Barry Allen would later be replaced by Wally West, the character’s nephew in 1986.  I bring this up because each time The Flash became a different man, the other characters still continued to exist.  This made The Flash as an identity something that could be passed down, a radical concept to comic books.  For a sense of perspective, consider that with a few stunt-stories, Batman has always been Bruce Wayne, Superman has always been Clark Kent, Iron Man has always been Tony Stark, and Peter Parker has always been Spider-Man.

The people who make red spandex are basically kept in business by these guys.

This sense of legacy in the comics is what has always given The Flash a certain emotional heft to it.  Barry recognizes Jay as a predecessor, while Wally comes to utterly revere Barry after becoming the Flash himself due to, shall we just say, unfortunate events related to Barry.  As such, The Flash as a character is always imbued with the notion of time being a precious commodity and the idea that we’re all racing toward an ending that’s coming faster than any of us would like it to.  Despite that gloomy notion, The Flash as a character is almost uniformly written as an optimist.  In all iterations, from Jay to Wally (and beyond, but that’s getting more detailed than you want, trust me), The Flash represents the character who, possibly more than almost any other super hero, does what he does because he believes in the best of people and just wants to do the right thing.

Okay, non-comic books fans.  You can come back now.

"Faster than a speeding bul... oh hey wait..."

The TV Show

I’ll say right away, like Maggie Cats said a few weeks ago, The Flash had one of my favorite new pilots this season.  Almost everything about the way the show has presented its key characters and its premise has been on pace right from the start.  Barry (Grant Gustin), initially introduced last year as a guest character in Arrow, is established at the start as a forensic scientist working for the Central City police department.  He’s been drawn to a life in law-enforcement after seeing his mother murdered under HIGHLY mysterious circumstances as a young boy.   With his father convicted of the murder, Barry was raised by family friend and police officer Joe West (played by Jesse L. Martin) who raised Barry as a sorta-sibling to his own daughter, Iris (Candace Patton).  Barry’s father, btw, is played by John Wesley Shipp who played The Flash in the short-lived 1990s era TV version of the same character.  In the pilot episode, Barry is struck by a stray bolt of electricity as the result of a catastrophic accident at STAR Labs, a sort of CERN-esque research facility headed by Dr. Harrison Wells (Tom Cavanagh).  When Barry awakens six months later, he finds that he has acquired super speed as well as an enhanced physiology that has increased his endurance and his ability to heal.  What is a young man to do in this situation?  Fight crime, naturally.

From there, the show plays out as you’d expect from The CW.  We’ve got your over-arching mystery (what was that strange yellow blur that killed Barry’s mother in their own home all those years ago?), your healthy dose of love-triangle (Barry is, natch, secretly in love with Iris who sees him like a best friend and is herself involved in a secret relationship with her father’s rookie partner at work), an assortment of enemy-of-the-week villains (turns out that stray bolt of electricity didn’t just affect Barry), and a possible twist (the good Dr. Harrison who helps Barry establish his heroic identify may not be all that he seems to be).  The thing that makes all of this work, honestly, is the speed at which this story progresses.  There’s no denying it – The Flash moves quickly.

Pictured: Rush hour in the speed lane.  I'll stop.

Unlike Arrow’s season-long brooding, Barry gets into this hero thing before the end of the first episode. All the major plotlines are introduced, the outlines of each character’s development are laid out, and we’re, well, off and running.  Seriously, more happens in the first thirty minutes of the pilot episode than you see in most seasons of an HBO series.  The show is also undeniably fun.  The Flash as a character is universally depicted in the comic books as someone with a sense of humor.  He’s Peter Parker without all the personal hard luck.  In keeping with that, you’re not going to find much in the way of personal agonizing or tortured development here.  Barry wears bright red and yellow and speeds around at 300mph in the middle of the day.  Unlike Arrow’s Oliver or even any of the numerous iterations of Batman, there’s no need to only operate at night.  In a cameo scene with Oliver Queen, Ollie even calls this out when urging Barry to use his powers to help his city.  “You can inspire people in a way I never could,” he tells Barry.

The Easter Eggs

Of course, in addition to all this actual mainstream drama and adventure, there are TONS of bones thrown for nerds like me.  After the STAR Labs accident, a broken gorilla cage bears the name “Grodd”, implying something has gotten out.  Barry’s first speed tests occur at a Ferris Air testing field.  One of Barry’s superhero support team members is Francisco “Cisco” Ramon.  The other is Caitlin Frost.  Caitlin’s fiancé, tragically killed during the STAR Labs explosion, was Ronnie Raymond.  In the comics, every issue begins with the same phrase: “My name is Barry Allen and I am the Fastest Man Alive.”  Because every episode begins with a brief recap of what’s come before, take one guess what the voiceover begins with?  And at the risk of avoiding spoilers, I won’t even mention several other major plot points and characters introduced in the first few episodes that potentially point to some MAJORLY big (and spoiler-y) things that DC Comics and Warner Brothers appear to be ramping up for all their comic book properties, including a few possible implications for those big movies that you might have heard were recently announced.

Um. Spoilers?

Bottom line? Watch this damn show.  It’s fun, it’s adventurous, it’s breezy, and it’s got some great action with a nice dose of frothy character mush.  Nerds will feel respected, everyone else will just enjoy a good story playing out. 

The Flash airs Tuesday nights at 8/7c on The CW.

We Used to be Friends

After years of waiting and waiting (and waiting)...the Veronica Mars movie is finally here! There was no doubt this was a movie made for the fans, both literally and figuratively, since most of us ponied up the money through Kickstarter to get the thing made.

But was it worth the wait? In this post, TV Sluts past, present (and future?) comment on the film and discuss whether it met our expectations.

Oh, and it probably goes without saying...but spoilers ahead!

First up: Clovis!

The good – I love these characters and loved seeing them again. I loved the ending. Even though we knew from the first moment we started watching that there was no way in hell that Veronica was ever going to go back to New York and be a lawyer, it was still gratifying to see her (spoiler alert) taking over that Mars Investigations chair in the last shot. Also? More Mac. Always more Mac. I would watch a tech-heavy Mac spin off where she fights cyber-crime.

The bad – I wanted the movie to look as noir-y as the show did and it never quite managed it. All the saturated color and shadows of the show kind of got sunshine’d out in the movie. Also, the limitations that the movie was working off did have an impact – scenes that should have been rewritten clearly couldn’t be because there wasn’t time to do it; characters had to written flatly in case an actor couldn’t make the shooting schedule. (Though the fact that Rob Thomas and Co. pulled off everything they did that quickly is pretty amazing.) 

My big beef though was that never once did I ever believe Logan may have actually killed Carrie. In the show, Logan is written to be ambiguous about his actions – we believe that he can be underhanded or murderous. I would have liked there to be a bit more doubt about Logan’s guilt or innocence, and as such there’s no good tension there at all between Logan and Veronica. 

That said, I did enjoy the movie a lot although watching Veronica Mars was similar to watching Serenity in that they’re both total nostalgia bait and reminders that you’re never going to get back what you once had.

The only thing that I really didn’t like was the obscene number of “we used to be friends” lead-ins that all the media articles on the movie used. Come on, feature writers – think fresh.

Next: Sri!

My favorite Veronica Mars character is Eli "Weevil" Navarro, the leader of the local bike club (PCHers). The only thing we knew about his characters from the previews was that he had "gone straight" and gotten married. By the end of the movie, Weevil has survived a gunshot wound and had reclaimed his role as head of the PCHers. Someone commented to me about how depressing it was that he ended up back where he started. But what is a noble villain without the villainy? He's just a noble dude, and god knows Life kicks noble dudes in the teeth. Also, without Weevil, Veronica lacks the necessary underworld contacts/street cred to be a successful PI. Also... leather jacket. Enough said.

...and then, Priya!

The VM movie was like saying hello to an old friend. A two hour treatment of what made the show so great...a girl with an identity crisis unknowingly longing to return to who she was before and realizing that freedom comes from stopping that fight and taking up the mantle of crusader against the powerful. She is an imperfect heroine that doesn't always do the right thing but along with a rich diverse broader cast of characters finds a way to at least try.

Weighing in from Texas, here's Cheryl:

I adored it. It felt like a long episode, albeit a much darker one. Not that Neptune was ever sunshine and roses, but this was a whole new level of messed up. I get the feeling that it was probably the show Rob Thomas wanted to make but, you know, Standards and Practices. The only real complaints I have are how out of the blue Logan joining the Navy felt (not that I object, especially not to that uniform, I just would like to know what led up to that decision) and the path Wallace's life took. Why is he not an engineer? What happened that made him give up on the dream that was so important to him he stepped down from the basketball team? I think a lot of the movie was set up for the book series though, so maybe we'll get the answers there.

And finally, what did I think?

It's so rare for something to meet your expectations. And maybe it's just the excitement and a bit of rose-colored glasses...but honestly? I loved it. I have no complaints. I have no quibbles. I didn't go into the movie "wanting" anything specific to happen, I just walked in and let in unfold. It was Rob Thomas' story and I was beyond happy and content to just be along for the ride. It felt like hanging out with an old friend, where no matter how long you have been away from each other, you just pick up right where you left off. Of course, in this case the old friends happen to be some of the most supremely messed up people ever with major trust issues who wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it walked into the room and dropped its drawers...but still. My opinion might change upon further viewings, but for now? Nothing but love and gratitude that I got to revisit the world of Veronica.  

And let's be real. Vinnie Van Lowe, Cliff, Deputy/Detective Leo, Principal Van Clemmons...and OMG CELESTE KANE?? How could I ask for more? 

Feel free to weigh in with your thoughts in the comments below!

Hey, Baby It's Reigning

OMG you guys. So, like, Reign? Which just aired on the CW? Is like so awesome and historically accurate! Mary, Queen of Scots, is like the coolest Queen ever. Right?

Clearly people who think the above are the target audience for the new drama Reign. It's basically The Tudors for teens. And it is both amazing and ridiculous. Let's just establish right off the bat that we don't care about historical accuracy. I am going to turn off my brain and assume that Reign takes place in some alternate universe and leave it at that. Because, really. If that kind of thing bothers you so much you can never watch any historical drama ever. Especially one that airs on The CW.

Hit it, CW promo people!

Hidden between the lines of the history books is the story of Mary Stuart, the young woman the world would come to know as Mary, Queen of Scots. The teenage Mary is already a headstrong monarch ─ beautiful, passionate and poised at the very beginning of her tumultuous rise to power. Arriving in France with four close friends as her ladies-in-waiting, Mary has been sent to secure Scotland’s strategic alliance by formalizing her arranged engagement to the French king’s dashing son, Prince Francis. 

You guys, this show has everything. Teen angst, teen romance, teen sex, love triangles, "fabulous" costumes, prophecies, magic, mysterious shrouded crazy ladies, dark and dangerous woods, and a surprising amount of politics thrown into the mix.

But seriously, the best thing about the show? The absolute best thing?

The Queen of France, Catherine de Medici, is played by Megan Follows, aka, ANNE OF GREEN FUCKING GABLES. 

You guys seriously have no idea how important this is. Anne of Green Gables (and even more so Anne of Avonlea) was absolutely pivotal to my development into a feisty, imaginative red-head. Anne was pretty much my hero. And whenever Megan Follows pops up in a show (she was in an episode of Longmire last year!) I get so fangirly you cannot even imagine.

Anne and Gilbert OTP 4EVA!!!11!

Alright, let's get back to Reign. Other than Megan Follows there aren't a lot of people I recognize in the cast. I think the chick who played Susan in the Narnia movies is one of Mary's interchangeable ladies in waiting, but for the most part we have your standard line-up of pretty CW people. And they are all pretty much competent. I kind of wish the actress playing Mary would act a little more feisty, since Mary is actually written with a brain (well, maybe half of one) in her head and a strong backbone, but that's more of a quibble than an actual criticism.

More interesting than the actors are the characters they play. Because here is where Reign actually surprised me. I made a lot of assumptions before seeing the show. First, that Prince Francis would be your typical asshole spoiled brat. And that his mother, the Queen of France, would somehow be plotting against Mary because she's prettier than her or some other bullshit reason. And the king's bastard son, Sebastian, would be a womanizing rogue who would get between Mary and Francis.

But here's the thing. The main characters in Reign are actually (gasp!) fully formed people with complex motivations that make sense! I know, it's like a fall television season miracle. As for Prince Francis, he has some good points (he believes a man should know a trade) and some bad ones (he sleeps around and is kinda a bitch about it), but is struggling with doing what is best for his country--which may not necessarily mean marrying Mary and allying France with Scotland. Sebastian, Francis' half brother, is all smolder but also seems like a nice guy. I just love a good love triangle. And Queen Catherine, while she does try to take down Mary, it's because she believes in a prophecy saying that Mary will cause Francis' death. So she's really trying to protect her son.

Oh, didn't I mention the magic elements in this? Because the Queen's bestie is NOSTRADAMUS. You know, the seer. According to wikipedia, Catherine de Medici was actually an admirer of his, but who cares. Because there is magic and prophecy in this show and it is amazing. Oh, and there is also some crazy woman running around the French castle with a veil over her face warning Mary not to drink wine with roofies in it and that part is kind of amazing too.

Basically, this show has a large touch of the ridiculous. But it's the Middle Ages and people believed really weird shit back then so it works.

Man, the French royal family looks like a barrel of laughs, don't they? Oh, and the chick in the bright blue? Is the King's mistress. Oh, you crazy French people.

Speaking of ridiculous, the costumes on this show. Seriously, the costumes. Mary and her ladies in waiting look like someone raided the prom section of Forever 21. The entire show is a hodge podge of eras--I am pretty sure I spied some extras wearing some dresses from Gone With the Wind and the Queen of France looks like she wandered off the set of Pride and Prejudice. There is no consistency, but rather than bugging it makes watching the show kind of fun. Like when you would watch Sex and the City just to see what cray cray outfit Carrie was going to turn up wearing. The guys for the most part have pretty standard 1500s wear, but I have high hopes for pantaloons to make an appearance. 

There's also a surprising amount of court politics going on here. It's pretty much all in the context of marriage alliance discussions, but still. I was impressed the show is spending any time at all on the current state of affairs in sixteenth century Europe. I am hoping that they will get more into the religious issues (Catholics vs. Protestants) as the show progresses.

In sum, Reign is amazing, ridiculous, and you should watch it. Oh, and if you are a straight dude, there was a controversial female masturbation scene, so there you go.

MORE LOVE TRIANGLES PLZ

Reign airs Thursdays at 9:00 EST on The CW.

The CW: Shows Old and New

We're now a couple weeks into the new television season, but the premieres are still coming fast and it's still overwhelming me and my DVR so I am dedicating one post to almost everything on The CW. It kind of pains me to admit this, but The CW might be my favorite network. I know, I know. This basically cinches it--I am really a 15 year old fangirl at heart. But I stand by my opinion that the CW is producing some of the best sci-fi television out there. Just look at the shows I'm discussing below and you'll see what I mean.

Oh, and btw, I am not discussing the new show Reign, about Mary Queen of Scots in this post. Mostly because it just aired last night and I haven't seen it yet, but also because I am going to give it a stand-alone review post. I am that excited about it, you guys.

Let's start with the new shows!

The Tomorrow People: the concept for this one is kind of like a blend of Heroes and SHIELD. Genetic mutations have caused some people to be born with special powers (though in this world they are limited to the three Ts--teleportation, telekinenis, and telepathy) that manifest in the teen years. There's a shadowy organization called Ultra hunting down the special folk, but also a group of renegades who call themselves The Tomorrow People who are forced to live in hiding. Both groups are trying to track down teens who are just "breaking out" with their powers. Our hero, Steve, is connected to both the organization and the rebels, but I don't want to give anything away since the plot is actually kind of twisty and neat.Oh, and Steve may be a SUPER special type of special.

This show surprised me by actually being good. Of course, all the characters are impossibly good looking, but while that bothered me about SHIELD, here it kind of works? Maybe because it has more of a younger focus, but for some reason I actually prefer The Tomorrow People to the more "adult" SHIELD (may Joss Whedon forgive me). The show has more of a feel of rock and roll, of getting down and dirty with the concept, and there is also just more of a sense of fun.  There isn't any new ground being broken here in terms of the genre, but I found myself drawn into the plot. The writers have tossed several story balls in the air (who and where is Steve's father??) and there were some delightful twists in the pilot episode. Like I said, I don't want to give anything away, but fans of sci-fi should definitely check out The Tomorrow People, despite the lame title.

Apparently the gene for super powers is intertwined with the gene for pretty.

The Tomorrow People airs Wednesdays at 9 on the CW.

The Originals: Moving the "original vampires" off of The Vampire Diaries was a great idea in theory; the plot of VD had really become too bogged down with the melodrama of Klaus and his merry band of sociopathic siblings. But I wish I could say that giving them their own show was working out in everyone's favor. It's not like the show is offensively bad or anything, and if you enjoyed the scene-chewing of the Originals over on VD you'll find a lot to like about the new show. It's just that the first few episodes have seemed like a lot of plot rehashing, exposition, and repetitiveness. In episode 3 there is finally some actual plot movement and character-building, but you have to wade through two hours to get there. I do appreciate the more adult-look of the show and the New Orleans setting, but The Originals is going to have to throw more at me to keep me interested. Building up the character of current vampire king-of-the-city Marcel is a good start--I am intrigued by him. Also he's pretty. I'd give this one a solid C for average; I'll stick with it, at least for now, but could quickly lose interest.

The Originals airs Tuesdays at 8:00 on the CW.

And now for some returning favorites!

Arrow: I don't think I have ever seen a season premiere episode as well-executed as the Arrow premiere. Our hero has a new goal: he is no longer a vigilante but is going to be a full-blown hero (YES). There's some new mysterious badass characters in town, relationships between everyone have been shaken up, and there is a even a hint of new romance in the air (again YES). Oh, and River Tam (Summer Glau) has joined the cast so you know that is going to be awesome. Even in the island flashbacks--when we discover how and why Oliver Queen became a total archery ninja--there are new plots afoot. Basically, Arrow is just as fun and exciting as it was in the first season and the new story elements have me really looking forward to the season to come. If you aren't watching this show....seriously, just watch the damn show.

Arrow airs Wednesday at 8:00 on the CW.

The Vampire Diaries: Now that the original vampires are off on their own show, we can move forward with the whole Silas thing. Except I kind of find that whole plot stupid and never really got it. But it seems like all you need to know is that Silas is some uber-powerful immortal witch who looks just like Stefan (more dopplegangers, oh yay) and can read minds and compel anyone, even vampires. I'm not quite clear on what his end game is, but it involves finding the now human Katherine, and since I love Katherine I am all for this plot. Elena and Caroline are apparently unearthing some weird secret society at their college which has me mildly interested, but that seems to all be on hold while we deal again with Stefan as a Hungry Hungry Vampire. Hardly any show on television does plot twists and momentum the way The Vampire Diaries does, but they need to stop recycling plots and try out some new ideas this season. I'm kind of meh so far, which is sad because I really enjoy the show.

The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8:00 on the CW.

Supernatural: *yawn*

I'll never stop watching Supernatural because of my undying love of Jensen Ackles, but seriously guys. Step it the fuck up. This angels and demons crap has been old for three years now and I just. don't. care. And enough with the manufactured secrets between Dean and Sam. How about this? We actually have the brothers work together toward a common goal. That was why the first few seasons were so good.

I just really wanted an excuse to post a picture of Jensen. Jared, honey, get out of the shot, mmkay? If we need someone to cry like a little bitch we know where to find you.

Supernatural airs Tuesdays at 9:00 on the CW.

Coming up next time on the blog: a review of Reign. Or as I like to think of it: Teen Tudors.

This is Ballet

A few week ago, with little fanfare, the CW launched the second season of its reality series, Breaking Pointe.

For those not in the know, Breaking Pointe follows the lives of several dancers at the Salt Lake City-based ballet company, Ballet West. Not only do we get a glimpse into the personal lives of the dancers, but we also get a behind-the-scenes look at the process of putting on a ballet. From casting to rehearsals to showtime, Breaking Pointe documents the blood, sweat, and tears that make for a successful ballet.

Most of you are probably thinking, "that sounds incredibly boring." And hey, maybe it would be for you. I'm not a ballet expert or anything, but I attend probably once or twice a year--usually the Nutcracker. Which probably makes the snotty ballet fans think I am a total noob. But no matter what you say, every little girl wants to be a ballet dancer when she grows up and so I love Breaking Pointe for providing a peek under the curtain of the professional dance world.

Last summer, the show focused on the relationship problems of Allison and Rex--they were best friends but he wanted more and she wasn't ready to give it to him. When we meet back up with these star-crossed lovers (not really) it turns out they tried dating, but Allison just wasn't over the love of her life whom she had previously dated. Now, Allison is back with her former boy toy and agonizing over whether to give up her dance career to move to Detroit to be with him. He apparently can't move because he still has three years left in his medical residency.

But whatever. I am so over Allison and her drama--just make a decision, girl!

What I find much more interesting is Ballet West's staging of the classic ballet, Cinderella. We get to see the dancers in rehearsals, duking it out for the coveted roles, and basically working their asses off to get the show ready for opening night. For anyone who thinks that ballet is just pretty princesses twirling around in tutus...think again. These bitches (including the guys) push their bodies to the brink every day, and incur multiple injuries. Sometimes it's just a toe nail that falls off--apparently this is an everyday occurrence--but sometimes it can be way more serious, like when soloist Ronnie breaks his foot. One of this year's plots is whether Ronnie's injury will cause the end of his dancing career. You can go from the top to the bottom with only one mistake.

Breaking Pointe has a little something for everyone. If relationship drama is your thing, you can follow the couples on the show (who range from a long-married couple to two young dancers just beginning to date). Or you can watch it for the dancing and the insider look at the workings of a dance company. Think of it as the real life version of Center Stage--minus Peter Gallagher's amazing eyebrows, unfortunately. But these dancers aren't messing around, and they'll do whatever it takes to stay on top.

Breaking Pointe airs Mondays at 9:00pm on the CW.

 But in the end, it's worth the pain.

Thursday Nights Bite

Hellloooooooooo, people! Say hello to our guest blogger for today, Peanut Em&Em. Clovis and I have known Madame LePeanute for more years than we care to admit to, and she's graciously volunteered her services to blog for our squirrel friends here at TV Sluts. Peanut Em&Em has prepared some peanut buttah for us, in the form of a Vampire Diaries review. Enjoy!

It’s 8:30 Thursday night and my house is silent.  The boys are in bed and my husband is downstairs on the elliptical.  I sneak into the family room, turn on the TV, and quickly mute the volume.  My God, I don’t want to get caught.  Breathing a sigh of relief, I see that my DVR has successfully begun recording one of the worst shows on the CW (Ok, I admit that’s not saying a lot).  I guess it’s time to come clean. Hi, my name is Emily and I am addicted to The Vampire Diaries.

If you are unfamiliar with the series, let me take this second paragraph to catch you up on the first 3 seasons.  The series revolves around Elena Gilbert, a human high school student, and her vampire admirers, brothers Damon and Stefan Salvatore.  Elena is not just your average high school girl though.  Oh no, she has some supernatural blood in her as well; she is the doppelganger (twin) of Damon and Stefan’s first love, the vampire Katherine.  What an amazing love…square?  Add to that that in each season someone different is trying to kill “poor” Elena while Damon and Stefan try to save her.  And with that, you’re all caught up on the first three years of TVD.  Welcome to the Vampire Diaries family!

There’s enough of me to go around, boys.

           

I hope by now that you are thinking the same thing that I have been thinking for the last three seasons.  If someone is always trying to kill Elena, and she’s hanging out with vampires anyway, why didn’t one of the Salvatore boys just turn Elena into a vampire?  Well, thank God at the end of season 3 they finally did just that.  With fragile Elena now a rough and tough vampire they had to step up some serious evil this season.  In season 4 we have seen the return of just about every baddie that wanted to kill Elena over the years with the addition of our new super baddie, Silas.  Silas is the first immortal ever created and also happens to be stronger than any other supernatural creature in the Vampire Diaries universe.  (Where the heck are they going to go from here?)

The Season 4 finale finds Elena and the boys facing off with Silas.  Elena’s best friend Bonnie, the witch, (Of course Elena’s best friend is a witch!  Oh and by the way, her brother is a vampire hunter.  Take that willing suspension of disbelief.) is attempting to put a spell on Silas to turn him to stone so that the boys can drop his body in the lake effectively ending Silas’s reign of terror.

Certainly things could not go according to plan.  Enter Emily’s favorite vampire Damon, played by Ian Somerhalder.  I’ve loved Ian since he was Boone on Lost.  He’s pretty.  Unfortunately, somewhere between Lost and The Vampire Diaries he forgot how to act.  He has taken a page from the acting style of Joey from Friends.  Remember that episode where Joey was explaining to Rachel how he acted in the emotional scenes on the soap opera?   He used the “smell the fart” technique of acting.   He would by squint up his eyes and pretend he smelled a fart, that way he looked like he was feeling the emotions of his character.  That is how my boy Ian plays too many of his scenes in TVD, including the scene where Elena finally confesses her love for Damon (well, for this season anyway).

You’re my brother and I (takes a deep breath) love you man.

            

So where does that leave poor Stefan?  He is left to deal with Silas’s body.  Season 4 ends with Stefan about to throw Silas into the lake wrapping everything up with a nice bow.  Or not, because we quickly find out that the blanket containing Silas’s petrified body contains only rocks.  What?  You’re kidding me!  Oh no, it gets better.  Silas shows up and goes on to tell Stefan that he is his doppelganger just before he locks Stefan into a safe and sends him to the bottom of the lake.  Not possible, Stefan is a doppelganger too?  No, you read that correctly, we now have two sets of twins.  This reminds me of a lesson I learned early in my writing career.   If you write yourself into a corner, don’t have your character’s phone ring in order to dig yourself out of the hole.  It’s too obvious.  Really, 2 sets of doppelgangers?  The phone’s ringing TVD and it’s on the bottom of the lake.  Shhh, don’t tell anyone, but I will be tuning in this fall to see how you dig yourselves out of this one.