"Hey! It's Danny Tanner!"

Last night's Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget paralleled the man's career - it oscillated wildly between the barely funny and the barely televisable. Ba-dum chh! Seriously, what more can you say about a man who's such a sell-out that he did Full House for eight seasons AND such a pervert that his version of The Aristocrats is considered one of the dirtiest jokes of all time? Quite a lot, apparently.

Saget, relaxing at ... wait, WTF is going on here?

First of all, I've got to give John Stamos credit - as Roast Master, he held his own against people that were much, much, much funnier than him. Dave Coulier had the sense to stay away, though he did show up in the audience. He had this to say: "I wish I was roasting Saget - on spit in my backyard. Just pouring soup over him, and listening to him scream."

Oh, Uncle Joey... Cut. It. Out!

My favorites of the night were Cloris Leachman, Brian Posehn, and Norm MacDonald. I heart Leachman because she took the "you're old" jokes so well. Plus, she totally made out with Stamos on stage. I so want to be her when I grow up. And I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Posehn - he is the most unfortunate looking person I've ever seen. When you look like that, you have two options in life: comedian and serial killer. He took the high road.

Yikes.

But MacDonald stole the show - during the other comedian's roasts he was reading the sports section or doing a crossword. Every time someone insulted him, he would look up and cock his head as if to say, 'sorry, were you talking to me?' When it was his turn, he told some of the least funny jokes I have ever heard in my life.

See for yourself ... it's a freaking train wreck.

The reception of MacDonald's roast was lukewarm at best - the audience didn't "get" it. In my opinion, MacDonald was doing a send up of the cheesy humor so popular in Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos. It might have helped if he had broken character to explain himself, but MacDonald is a better performer than that. I honestly think he doesn't care if people are laughing at his jokes - he knows what's funny, he doesn't need your validation or approval! Which is probably why his career has been in the toilet for over a decade. Sorry, Norm - if you didn't want to pander to the masses, perhaps you should have stayed out of showbiz.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed the roast. All of the comedians were funny, and some were hilarious. There were even a few tender moments and lots of hugs - you got the impression that Saget was thrilled to be there. Even if it was just so he could get up on national television and tell us all to go f*** ourselves.

I think we learned an important lesson today, kids.
Bob Saget's a douchebag.

Check it out online or Tuesday at 10pm on Comedy Central.