Everybody Bleeds

So, this week's episode of True Blood was bloody for sure. Pretty much every character bleeds either literally or emotionally all over the place. And, I don't know, stuff happened, but man it just felt like it was a big old mess, you know? With only one more episode, there's not a lot of clarity about what happens next. We'll see next week, but in the meantime, here you go.

TL;DR: Ben's not quite dead yet, but he's going to be recuperating in that faerie land for a while. Meanwhile, Sookie and the rest of the townsfolk have to get to Terry's funeral, which is honestly heartbreaking and a bit of a real-world relief to watch next to all the supernatural soap-y-ness happening in the vampire plotline. Bill and Eric each make it to the camp to liberate the vampires, Eric through extreme violence, Bill through inoculating them so that they are invulnerable to the sun. Everyone gets high at the end.

Recap: ZOMG you guys! Ben is totes dying in Sookie’s arms and Bill is all like, whatevs – I need his blood now, whatever he’s got left kthanx. And then Sookie actually bites open her own wrist to feed Ben back to health. Remember when this show pretended to try to be sort of real and grounded? Bill wants to charge into battle but Sookie points out that Eric has more of Ben’s blood in him right now than Ben does, so good luck with that, VampireJesus, and let’s just Faerie Light you back to the real world while we stay here, what say we?

Yup. Totally grounded.

Arlene attends Terry’s funeral, black veil and all. Remember how she wanted the black preacher? Guess who’s the preacher’s wife is. It’s totally Tara’s mother, the now reformed former alcoholic who used to rip Tara apart on the daily and then claim she only did it because she had a demon in her. Again, back when the show was grounded.  Sookie, meanwhile, wants to get to this funeral but promises Ben that she’ll be back and still intends to go through with the whole eternal bride thing. She teleports right into the funeral, which you would think would have made a bigger splash, but no one really even notices except for one old biddy who refers to Sookie as “the Stackhouse girl – the weird one.”

Sookie takes her place with the other mourners and happens to be seated next to Mrs. Fortenberry, mother of Hoyt, everyone’s favorite Woobie character who we had to write off the show last year. Hoyt’s doing well since leaving town for Alaska, got a girlfriend and everything. Again, remember, only like a week has passed in this show’s timeline. Hoyt moves quickly. Alcide shows up as well, showing how nothing brings the town of Bon Temps together like a funeral.

Eric is taking advantage of his newly sunlight-enabled Faerie blood-enfused lifestyle to attack VampCamp in the middle of the day. By the time Bill arrives, there’s just the usual - Blood, carnage, lots of body parts. Eric is inside the camp using the gnawned off hand of some prison guard to open all the secure doors before finding the scientist who killed Nora and literally ripping the man’s genitals from his body and throwing them to the floor because Eric is kind of a boss when it comes to vengeance torture. Must be because he’s Scandinavian. (And yes, we see the entire thing, including the removed components. Because why not go big at this stage in the season, really?) Eric goes about freeing vampires and starts to find ones who have drank the infected True Blood and are becoming ill.

Bill is hot on Eric’s trail and finds the now dickless scientist begging for death. Bill asks if the scientist ever did anything to hurt Jessica while she was in here. When he honestly says yes, Bill obliges his wish to die. By crushing his face with his boot. Again, we see everything.

I don't know, you guys. I just feel like I'm not even fazed by the carnage anymore. Does Pat Robertson have something that he could say about that on Fox News sometime?

At the funeral, Andy delivers an honestly moving eulogy about how shattered and hurt Terry was when he first returned from the war.  Sam recalls how it was that he came to hire Terry to work at the bar, being impressed by how sensitive he was to people around him, even with the damage done to him. Lafayette (wearing a sweet suit with fake eyelashes because he’s Lafayette) recalled working with Terry and feeling like he could see Terry wearing his soul on his sleeve and taught him how to deep dry things in the kitchen with style. Sookie gets up to speak, which would seem out of place, but is honestly kind of sweet because she could hear Arlene’s thoughts about how she wasn’t ready to speak herself. She tells everyone that she remembers how the first thing Terry thought when he saw Arlene at work was that he loved her already. (This, btw, is told in flashback, marking the first time this season we see Sookie at work. And it’s the second to last episode. And it’s from the past. So, yeah, there’s that. But it’s honestly a really beautiful moment.)

Bill makes his way through the VampCamp to see that the fang is in the other mouth now as the vampires are making the humans go through the same “experiments” that they were subjected to. Eric, meanwhile, discovers Jason having been the ongoing buffet for a room of female vampires. Jason’s looking more than a little drained (rimshot!), Eric feeds him his blood. “When you dream of me,” Eric tells him, “Dream of nice things.”

Well, this got homoerotic quickly.

Jason’s up and moving and leading Eric through the Camp, unaware that Sarah Newlin has been hiding from the carnage under some slaughtered bodies.  Eric discovers Pam’s shrink being cornered by a few vamps. Eric menaces him a bit but the shrink seems actually not very bothered and that he’s going to die a happy man after fucking Pam. Eric is visibly riled and drags the shrink off to help them find Pam. On the way, a woman screams in the distance. “I know that scream,” Eric muses and finds who else but Ginger held in one of the rooms.

Sarah Newlin meanwhile recites the Bible and climbs the steps to the top of a building in the Camp and opens the ceiling, revealing the white room below where Jessica, Pam, Tara, Willa and the other vampires have been huddled into in order to be exposed to the sunlight, just like in Bill’s vision. Bill, however, has gotten there in the nick of time and allows them all to feed off him, giving them the ability to survive in the sunlight.

And to think, all this time you thought I was being over the top about the VampireJesus stuff.

Hilariously, the only vampire that can’t reach Bill to feed is Steve Newlin. Eric finds them all in the room and holds Steve into the sunlight. As Sarah looks down from above (and yelling “Die, Fuckers!”), she’s shocked to see everyone doing just fine, except for Steve. Steve sees her as he begins to burn and makes his final confession. “I love you…” he says looking directly at Sarah. “…Jason Stackhouse!” he finishes. The best part of this is honestly Jason’s “WTF?” reaction, btw. Oh Jason. You never were that bright, were you?

The vamps are saved, but also high as kites from all the faerie-tainted blood in them. Eric finds Pam. “I saved you the therapist,” he tells her. “You take such good care of me,” she purrs before rushing to kill the therapist.  The other vampires trip out, dance with each other and honest to God play ring around the rosey with Steve’s bloody remains. Viola spends a particular amount of time cradling Bill, who starts to see visions of Lilith that whisper a shush to him.

Back at the funeral, it’s finally time for Arlene to say her last words. She breaks down, remembering the first night that their son was born and how much she wanted to fall apart but Terry kept her together. As the funeral is about to wind down, Big John Dixon, a character that we've literally never seen before and only just started to hear about in passing a few episodes ago who is also a cook at the restaurant and can totally sing OMG THAT'S SO CONVIENT, arrives to sing a song called “Life Matters” for Terry. It’s a little out of place and really only serves to provide the mood music for the scene that runs concurrently with it below, but what the hey. Big John has a beautiful voice. Even a distraught Arlene admits, “That was the shit.”

 At VampireWoodstock, Pam gets down to business. “Have we killed everyone who needs killing yet?” she asks. Jason realizes that the only human left (aside from him and the still tricked out and occasionally screaming Ginger) is Sarah Newlin herself. Sarah tries to run for it, but he gets to her before the vampires do.  Sarah tries to tell Jason that she’s doing God’s work. Jason wrestles her gun from her and tries to bring himself to shoot her, but isn’t able to do it, saying he doesn’t want anymore blood on his hands.

Say it with me, Clue fans: "Too late!"

Eric leads the vamps around the camp in the sun and they begin to smash the infected True Blood. Meanwhile, in Honolulu (wait, what?), crates are being unloaded only to be instantly taken by local, fun-loving Hawaiian vampires. Um. I guess Hawaii is a thing in this show now?

Back in the white room, Lilith tells Bill that his time on earth is over, but he insists that he’s not going anywhere. He calls Jessica to him. When she and James arrive, they can see him talking to someone, but can’t see Lilith. Jessica literally walks through Lilith to get to him. As Lilith moves closer, James tries to get Bill to drink from him, theorizing that maybe it will save him.

The funeral ends with the 21-gun salute, taps and the marines presenting Arlene with the folded flag from Terry’s casket. Sad Panda.

Jessica and James leave the vampire camp, followed by a restored Bill who walks among the rest of the vamps like a messiah. Pam looks for Eric, finally seeing him off in the distance and not joining the rest of the crowd. “Don’t you dare leave me,” she whispers as Eric flies away.