Terra Firma

I've recently returned from vacation. This time it was a cruise through the Eastern Caribbean with stops on islands like Barbados, St. Maarten, and Dominica. But the cruise departed and ended in San Juan, Puerto Rico. My friends and I decided to get there a day early and stay a day late just to make sure there were no problems with our flights, and we had a hotel right across from the port where the ship would depart (and arrive back).

Puerto Rico is a territory of the United States, but it's primary language is Spanish so we were unsure what kind of television options there would be. Thankfully, all the network and basic cable channels were there, including USA. When we arrived in San Juan, we were exhausted after a long day of flights, and all we really wanted to do was relax in our hotel room. So the Memorial Day Law and Order: SVU marathon on USA was just the ticket.

On the ship, the television options were much more limited. We got a TNT movie channel, and the ship had a complimentary movie channel, but other than that Carnival had appropriated most of the channels for their own programming. And I was not interested in watching a constant ad for a $30 on a video of "my cruise" which includes about 20 minutes of old people doing a Funky Chicken/Macarena hybrid dance. And no, I am not making that up. So when we made it back to terra firma in San Juan we all had only one wish: please let there be more Law and Order: SVU on.

Hurray! It's a little blurry, but you get the picture. Literally. Those feet belong to me and my friend Patrick, btw.

Oh, thank god for USA. Yes, they were running ANOTHER SVU marathon, this one with a "co-ed" theme, meaning that all the crimes involved high school or college age kids. The show is delightfully fucked up, and it's the television equivalent of chicken soup: a dietary staple and sure to make you feel better. After all, no matter how tired or sick or annoyed at something you may be, at least your life doesn't suck as much as it does for the people on that show.

So thanks USA, and thanks Law and Order for being there when I need you. Although I really shouldn't be surprised. After all, the sun never sets on Law and Order. Or CSI. Or NCIS. Ugh, stupid procedurals, now I'm getting annoyed at you all over again.