The Doctor Is In

Well, at least the Doctor is back for those of us lucky enough to have BBCA. Here's what TV Guide has to say about it all! I feel a little bad for Sci-Fi getting dissed, but since I've got DISH with BBC America I am not too upset.

In other retcon news...

SPOILER ALERT: This post contains plot details from the season finale of Bones.

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The season finale of Bones came off like alternate-universe fan fiction - amazingly good fan fiction, but still. It opens with a huge fan service for all us Booth/Brennan shippers - the two principles obviously in a loving relationship, jumping right into bed. Then you realize, Booth and Brennan have been recast as the married owners of a nightclub called The Lab.

How cute is John Francis Daley?

Angela, Zack, and the rest of the "squinterns" play employees at the club - with the exception of Clark Edison, who plays a rapper who wants to debut at The Lab, and Arastoo Vaziri, who plays a Persian businessman interested in buying B&B out. Sweets is the bartender/budding musical talent. Caroline plays, surprise surprise, the nightclub's attorney. Cam and Jared play cops, investigating a murder that had taken place on the premises, and Max Brennan plays a corrupt councilman trying to blackmail B&B. Randomly, Angela's ex-husband Grayson Barasa shows up as Clark's gangsta brother. Finally, Hodgins provides the narrative voice as a booze hound crime writer.

Best Line goes to Mr. Nigel-Murray:
"I’m not going to fare well in jail... I'm lovely."

You'll spend about 30 seconds going, "the hell?" And then you just go with it. It's a fun ride, with lots of great lines. After the serious revelation of Booth's brain tumor in last week's episode, it was a relief just to be silly with these characters for a while. Wait a minute ... OMG brain tumor!

Well played, Bones. Well played.

Yes, it all turned out to be Booth's coma dream. Or is it? Right at the end, Hodgin's narration switches to Brennan's voice, and we see her typing by Booth's beside. She deletes the story just as he wakes up mumbling, "it was so real!" *sniff, sniff* And now, just to make me feel better, here is some gratuitous cuddling.

Awwww...

Doctor of Mindf*ckery

SPOILER ALERT: This post contains plot details from the last two episodes of House, M.D.

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I'm of two minds about the House, M.D. season finale (pun intended, for those who've seen the episode). I was actually pretty bored with the first 35 minutes. I'm not a Huddy shipper, so their hookup in last week's episode didn't really do anything for me. This episode opened with House waking up alone, and acting all nostalgic about the night before. Which, while really really cute, was disappointingly out of character for him.

Gregory House getting all schmoopy over forgotten cosmetics? Really?

Then, of course, it fell to Cuddy to be a raging bitch the next day and screw everything up. No one can be as bitchy as House, but she gave it her best shot. Next there was a lot of Wilson-enabled sophomoric behavior, as well as some tooth-achingly sweet moments of playing with Cuddy's lipstick. At this point, I was surfing the internet and seriously considering taking a bathroom break without pausing my Hulu playback. Yeah, it was that bad.

And then they drop the bomb - it was all a drug-induced hallucination. House never detoxed. He and Cuddy never hooked up. And the lipstick he was playing with? Actually a bottle of vicodin. My mind, she is blown. Side note: ghost of Kutner cameo! Kal Penn = LOVE.

"Sup?"

Overall, I liked the finale. The side stories with Cameron and Chase's wedding and the old man who squawked (played by the hilarious Carl Reiner) really tugged at the old heartstrings. But I don't know if the payoff of the big reveal was worth slogging through the hot Huddy mess that was the first 3/4 of the episode.

Gobsmacked

Well, slap my ass and call me Sally.

Two shows that I never thought had a chance at renewal got a reprieve. Both Dollhouse and Better Off Ted have been renewed by FOX and ABC, respectively.

According to Michel Ausiello over at Entertainment Weekly, the budget for Dollhouse has been drastically reduced (and I loooove his idea of giving the douchey Topher the boot) all as part of the deal for renewal.

In other good news, Castle has been renewed as well! Hurray!

I suggest checking over at Ausiello's page at least daily for updates. The networks are due to make all their final decisions regarding their fall schedules next week starting on Monday.

UPDATES: Chuck is now officially renewed for 13 episodes! Yay! But, Terminator: Sarah Conner Chronicles is officially cancelled. Boo! You suck FOX! I can't believe they would keep Dollhouse but can T:TSCC. Maybe because it's so much more expensive with all that terminator CGI?

Make Me A Supermodel

... no, seriously, go make me one.

While skimming the site for Popular Science, I came across this: The Latest Model. It's a robotic fashion model! Several LOL-inducing thoughts:

1. Even though it approximates human movement, right now it can't really walk, or glide, or strut down the catwalk. It stomps.
2. The programmers are experimenting with a variety of facial expressions, but apparently they all come across as "surprised."
3. I cannot wait until this makes it into the zeitgeist and I get to hear Tyson tell some poor hapless model, "You look like one of those crazy Japanese robots that is going to make us all useless by the year 2030."

That's right, bitches. Your days are numbered.

Looks like Ted's heading for a better place

A few weeks ago I raved about ABC's Better Off Ted. Unfortunately, real life got in the way and I missed a few episodes. So the other night I went to the show's website to catch up. Immediately, I noticed something was wrong. First of all, they only have episodes 6 and 7 (out of 7) online. Secondly, episode 7 was labeled "season finale." Cold dread began to creep up my spine. I rushed to Wikipedia... a total 13 episodes are listed, but the air dates for everything after episode 7 are listed as "TBA." Finally, I found this A.V. Club article that shares my suspicions. Looks like the show will be canceled mid-season.

I know, Phil. I'm upset, too.

This news is just depressing. Sure, Better Off Ted may not have been the next Lost. What did ABC expect - hardly any promotion, a moving time slot (okay, so they moved it once, but still!), and only 7 weeks to make things work? They hardly gave the show a chance.

But maybe it's not too late! There's an informal poll on Entertainment Weekly's site about saving the show. It's slightly inconvenient to fill out (they ask for an email address, even though they don't display it, and one of those 'confirm you are a person' code thingies), but well worth the effort! According to EW, ABC announces it's new prime time schedule in less than a week - sign the poll and help save Better Off Ted!

It's not Project Runway.

Don't be looking for Tim, Heidi, Nina, or Michael. There are two challenges every episode, including a mini-challenge that the designers have only 1 hour to complete. The runway show is performed in front of a crowd of "fashion industry insiders." There's no independent mentor; co-hosts Isaac Mizrahi and Kelly Rowland are both judges AND mentors.

It's not Project Runway.

But you know what? I like it.

The Fashion Show debuted last Thursday at 10pm on Bravo. Since losing Project Runway to Lifetime, I guess Bravo decided to just make the same show, but with some well-placed tweaks.

Isaac Mizrahi was delightfully bitchy (telling the designers how embarrassed and disappointed he was with the first runway show) and Kelly Rowland was kind of useless but looked great. The third regular judge Fern Mallis (the woman who runs New York Fashion Week) knew her stuff and the guest judge was an actual designer.

The challenges were interesting and really showed off what the designers were capable of. The mini-challenge was to create a little black dress from just a black t-shirt (they had only one hour) and the main challenge was to organize into teams, come up with one "must have" piece and incorporate it into five different looks to form a collection. So it was a team challenge, but each designer was in charge of one of the looks. They expressed themselves individually, but needed to design for a team collection as well.

I like that the runway show is performed in front of an actual crowd, but I'm not sure how I feel about having the crowd vote on the winner. Things could get....interesting. The judges are (so far) only responsible for picking the person who gets the boot.

As for the designers....most of them are difficult to distinguish at this point. Of course, Merlin stands out (watch the show, you'll know why--picture a gay latino fairy-magician), and I was really impressed with the initial design of Reco. Other than that, I'm going to shy away from making any predictions...you never know with these kind of competitions!

MSCR: Ed, Edd, n Eddy

This is Cartoon Network's longest-running series (celebrating its 10^th year), and it's easy to see why. "The Eds" are a trio of adolescent boys, scheming and dreaming through an endless summer in an idyllic suburban cul-de-sac. These kids are having the childhood we all wish we had – non-stop hijinks with our best friends. You might think that having three protagonists with the same first name would be confusing. But each is such a unique little miscreant that there's never any doubt.

Eddy is the leader of the group, and a born con-man. His harebrained plots and unapologetic greed for jawbreakers are constantly getting The Eds into trouble – which is basically his element. He lovingly refers to his compatriots as "sock-head" and "lumpy."

Edd, aka Double D, is the brains of the operation. He's a tremendous nerd, trying to apply a rational approach to an irrational world. While he often tries to dissuade Eddy from his more dangerous stunts, he usually gives in and ends up helping. Ed's little sister Sara has a bit of a crush on Double D … and so do I.

Ed is a gentle giant, an amiable simpleton whose frequent non sequiturs are the highlights of the show.

Ed: Hey guys?
Eddy: What, Ed?
Ed: I say, the cheese is always twice the fence post.

The cast is rounded out with a diverse group of frenemies from around the cul-de-sac, as well as the Eds' would-be paramours, a trio of trailer park girls known as the Cankers. I deliberately call it a "cast" because each character is well-developed and the interactions between them are complex and organic. In other words, despite the far-fetched plots, Ed, Edd n Eddy feels real in a way other cartoons don't. Check it out at the official website, or the next time it airs on Cartoon Network

Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Pile of Crap

In theory, I should love Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire. I liked Xena: Warrior Princess and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, and I knew that this would be a parody of that genre. The production values are pretty good, which was one of my major concerns when I first heard about the project. The title has umlats in it, which makes me smile. And the lead actor is a dreamy Irish Englishman rock star, Sean Maguire. His Krod Mandoon is a new kind of hero - one who is more sensitive and in touch with his feelings.

Who said Hufflepuffs can't be hot?

But even the pretty cannot distract me from the fact that this show is basically shit. Sure, I found some elements funny - but that says more about me than about the show. To call the humor sophomoric would be an insult to sophomores everywhere. The writing is something a 14 year-old boy might come up with, full of gratuitous toilet and sex jokes. Beyond that, there is an undertone of misogyny that sticks in my craw. I'm referring to the token female character, Aneka.

Aneka is billed as a "pagan warrioress," an obvious send-up of Xena. Except, she's super slutty. In the first episode she goes home to her village to complete the Rite of the Raccoon or some such, where she sleeps with 300 men. Part of the rite is doing a strip tease for a catcalling crowd of lecherous men. And already I'm clutching my poor abused frontal lobe in agony.

Just one of many disturbing misconceptions about paganism.

That's when it hit me - there is no need for a parody of Hercules and Xena. Those shows were already parodies of themselves, because they were fully aware of their campy glory. And that was part of the fun - liking a show but also laughing at yourself for liking it. Krod Mandoon, in trying to take the genre "over the top," devolves into the lowest form of humor imaginable.

You people should be ashamed of yourselves.

The season (and with any luck, the series) finale aired yesterday. I didn't bother to watch. Though I may catch it in one of the million reruns of the show Comedy Central will use to fill air time.

Hidden Sponsor?

Why is everyone so thankful to Oprah today? I don't get it. For those of you not aware on yesterday's episode Oprah announced she was giving away chicken (by way of a downloadable coupon)

All the interviews today of local people are people THANKING Oprah! Why?!? She is clearly getting paid by KFC! This is a purely sponsored event to sell KFC's chicken. Why are people pretending this is something other than a giant COMMERCIAL.

The news coverage, the online coverage and the radio coverage are all free advertising for KFC's grilled chicken (though I am sure it wasn't completely free given the amount they had to pay Oprah).The link the coupon is below if you are dying for grilled chicken:

http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090430-tows-kfc-coupon-download

New Show Watch: Glee

As we near the end of the television season, all the new episodes dry up, and a tv-blogger has nothing to occupy her time. But wait! There's all the new shows coming down the pike to dissect and discuss!

So what's the new show that is currently making me wriggle with glee?

Glee!

Glee is a new FOX program slated for this fall, but for one night only on Tuesday, May 19, FOX is airing a special preview of it after American Idol.

So what's the deal with the show and why is Maggie so excited about it? Here's the run-down from FOX:

GLEE is a one-hour musical comedy that follows an optimistic high school teacher as he tries to transform the Glee Club and inspire a group of ragtag performers to make it to the biggest competition of all: Nationals.

Will Schuester, a young optimistic teacher, has offered to take on the Herculean task of restoring McKinley's Glee Club to its former glory. Everyone around him thinks he's nuts. He's out to prove them all wrong.

Musical? Comedy? A heart-warming story of a bunch of rag-tag kids fighting their way to the top? Dude. I am so in.

According to this article, the soundtrack will feature musical numbers each week, ranging from classics to current pop hits. Woot! And Kristin over at E! is reporting that there are plans for several soundtrack albums in the works AND featured songs will be available for download on Itunes immediately after the show airs. Also expected are guest appearances by Kristin Chenowith (love), Victor Garber, and Josh Groban.

Did I mention that it stars people who have been in Hairspray on Broadway and Veronica Mars, Heroes, and Nip/Tuck?

Seriously, what is not to love?

For an extended preview, click here! I don't about y'all, but I got chills, they're multiplying.

When your ratings are down...add Jeff Goldblum

Sunday marked the first episode of the show including our quirky detective. Bloggers around the tvsphere wrote diligently months ago that Goldblum was the reason for the massive delay in releasing the latest Law and Order episodes. Apparently, he wanted the final say on all of his episodes.

I wanted Goldblum to suck. Really badly in fact, however, not so much. Granted he is no Goren, a love I will never quite understand, but he held his own. Julianne Nicholson (Wheeler) has stayed on as the fourth detective on the show. The opening credits photos were entertaining because they were all Jeff Goldblum and none of her.

I doubt the add a detective will help, especially since Jeff himself failed so miserably on NBC with his bomb Raines (despite awesome production assisting). Hopefully, Vincent will carry the show enough to keep it on USA another season.