Death Becomes Pemberley

A murder, a ball, a ghost story, a secret romance, and a possibly rabid woman running amok in the woods. It must be...Jane Austen!

Look at this stuff! Isn't it neat? Don't you think my collection's complete? 

Because OF COURSE Lizzie and Darcy could not just live their 1% lifestyle without being troubled by Lizzie's batshit sister and her good-for-nothing husband, Wickham. Because you know all of what I'm about to tell you more or less happened barely after the last paragraph of P&P was written, Jane Austen put down her quill pen, and the ink dried. Do not front and say this isn't canon. You know everything went immediately to hell after the wedding. JANE AUSTEN IS A LIE. You guys, this is hilarious. Actual real JA fan fiction brought to a teevee or computer screen near you.

The action actually begins a few years into Lizzie and Darcy's marriage. The Darcys have spawned a boy named Fitzwilliam (natch). Lizzie and Darcy are planning a ball, and then Captain Denny is mysteriously (and quite inconveniently, I might add) murdered, which basically strands everyone at Pemberley until the MUHDUH is solved. So, get ready for some Regency Clue realness. 

Fine weather for a MUHDUH.

The plot will be familiar to those who have read the novel of the same name. It begins with two Pemberley servant wenches, straight of out of Downton Abbey central casting, who claim to have seen the "ghost of Mrs. Riley" in the woods. Mrs. Riley is an unfortunate figure whose ghost reportedly haunts the woods around Pemberley after she committed suicide because her young son was hanged for poaching a deer on the Pemberley property. According to the legend, her appearance foretells the onset of tragedy. Wooooooooo. Unfortunately for the veracity of the ghost tale, Lizzie encounters this same woman in the woods, and when Lizzie attempts to restore the lady's lost bonnet, she straight up hisses at her. At which point, Anna Maxwell Martin is Deeply Confused.

Is she Catwoman or WTF? Wait, which Jane Austen fanfiction am I in? Is this the vampire one? Shit.

Georgiana Darcy has grown about ten feet, and she is in the lovez with a socially awkward lawyer, which makes total sense for her, actually. However, Colonel Fitzwilliam, who was such a sweetie in the novel, is hot for Georgiana and has apparently morphed into a real shady character since we last saw him. I blame Lady Catherine. So anyone who has a real stick up their bum about Jane Austen canon should stop watching RIGHT NOW.

You mean this didn't really happen in the book? You mean they made it up? Wait...

Things are going along swimmingly in Lizzie's tricked out life, until she is unfortunately reminded of her genetic and marital ties in the form of her sister Lydia and her dastardly rake husband, Wickham. WICKHAM. MISTAH WICKHAM. 

We see Wickham arguing with Captain Denny over Something, and Denny appears to be trying to talk Wickham out of some sort of deceitful behavior (because he is the most appalling rake), and Wickham is insisting that whatever it is that he has done or wants to do is no big deal. They are interrupted by the appearance of Lydia and HOLY SHIT IT'S CLARA!

You think you've got problems? Girl, please. I have, like, no idea where I parked my Tardis.

Lydia and Wickham's story, as it is revealed, is that they were planning to crash the ball at Pemberley, since they weren't invited because awkward. They are not received at Pemberley. They're just classy like that. Denny accompanies them, and midway on their journey, the coach stops and Denny gets out and goes into the Pemberley woods. Wickham, angry, gets out of the carriage too, and follows him. What happens after that remains the mystery that we must unravel.

Lydia's story is that she heard gun shots, immediately freaked out, and ordered her coachman to complete the journey to Pemberley, leaving Wickham and Denny behind. 

She bursts into Pemberley, creating all the drama that she so dearly loves, and announces that Wickham is dead dead dead alack alack he's dead. Mrs. Bennet helpfully suggests that it might be fine because Wickham might have died in a duel, and that sends Lydia into a fresh round of hysterics.

No, no. Tell the nice man from the newspaper I'm your momager, honey. 

Darcy and the other menfolk launch an expeditionary force to find Wickham and Denny, and they find Wickham sobbing over a super dead Denny. The game is then afoot! Wickham is, of course, the main suspect.  This is where things get mysteriously mysterious because everyone agrees that Wickham -- cad, reprobate, dipsomaniac that he is -- is not a murderer. Everyone also agrees that Lydia and Wickham probably know a lot more than they are telling.

Wickham: He's literally wearing a red, shirt.

Lydia: I know, right.

Darcy is forced to set off for the magistrate, an aging hippie named Mr. Hardcastle. Hardcastle and the Darcys have bad feelings between their families, because Hardcastle's father was responsible for prosecuting Mrs. Riley's son, and who had pushed for the boy's hanging. This was against the older Mr. Darcy's wishes. Hardcastle requests to see the sleeping Wickham, and then goes to meet the local barber veterinarian butcher doctor, to inspect the dead Denny. They determine that Denny died not from a gunshot wound, but someone gave him a jolly good whack on the back of the head. Ouchie. If it hadn't happened in the woods, I would have guessed it was the professor in the wine cellar with a candlestick.

Cause of death: Being an ancillary.

Wickham is later arrested for the murder, sending Clara, I mean Lydia, into further hysterics. The trouble is, no one really believes that Wickham committed the murder, and it may be up to Lizzie and Darcy to solve the murder, probably primarily Lizzie since she was on Bletchley Circle and so she has practice with that sort of thing. So now Lizzie is going to have to Do The Right Thing and clear the name of a man she hates. Is this going to be the redeeming of Wickham? Does he really need to be redeemed? Can't he just be a giant asshat? I haven't read the book, so I have no idea how it ends. I may or may not be hoping that the twist will turn out that Mr. Darcy killed Denny because he's a robot alien sent to destroy us all (much like Tom Hiddleston).

You think he's real, ladies? Come. On. Clearly aliens sent him to take us down.

In that case, I'm hoping that it's revealed that The Doctor sent Clara into Pride & Prejudice to pretend to be Lydia in order to catch the Darcybot before he can destroy Pretend Regency England. And Fantasia as well.

Exteerminate! Exteerminate!

But the real enemy, as it turns out, is not the Darcybot, but Lady Catherine, who is, of course, the Giant Cockroach Queen.

A girl can hope.

My overall reaction is that I thought this was really fun. If you really take Jane Austen seriously, then perhaps this isn't the movie for you, but if you are all about murder mysteries, costumed aggression, and people sobbing in corsets while flailing around big, fancy houses

#Swag

then this is right up your alley. Maggie Cats says she has actually been to the P&P house, which makes me jelly. I kid about Jenna Coleman as Lydia, but I really think she is a brilliant choice for that part. She is not a person I would have thought of immediately to play Lydia, but seeing her in the part makes total sense. I also enjoy the casting of Rebecca Front as Mrs. Bennet. She is the no-nonsense Chief Supt. Jean Innocent on Inspector Lewis and it's fun to see her take on a role as removed from her Lewis character as the flighty and clueless Mrs. Bennet.

The next installment of Death Comes to Pemberley airs on PBS during Masterpiece Mystery. In my area that means Sunday at 9 p.m. EST. Check local listings for dates and times. 

Days of FuturePast: The Hour and The Bletchley Circle

So, with it being Memorial Day and all, I thought I'd take a televised road trip with ya'll and highlight two great BBC dramas set in the post-WWII era. Since it's now the unofficial official start of summer, this may be a good time to get some shows queued up for your summer watching.

No, not that 50s. This 50s.

That one. The one where everyone had a push-up bra and smoking was sexy and cool and didn't cause a bunch of cancer. Also, no one wore black-framed glasses ironically. Oh, the good ole days. 

I have waxed philosophic about The Hour before and how it was SO GOOD and then BBC canceled it because ugh. Never fear. Our modern space age era allows us to access moving pictures and television programs at the touch of a button like never before, all thanks to humanity's ability to harness the power of nuclear energy. Well, really it's electromagnetism, but I did want to sound like one of those announcer guys from the 50s.

Plus also:

Clip art!

Okay, so. The Hour. Seriously, this show is da bomb. (See above.) I binge watched all of the episodes about a year ago, and I have been hoping since then that Netflix would make the show available on instant streaming, but it is alas still only available on DVD.  However, it is available on Amazon Instant Video. Originally airing on the States on BBC America, The Hour dramatizes a fictional BBC news and information program entitled (you guessed it), The Hour. Don't ask. It's meta.

It features Romola Garai (Atonement, Vanity Fair, Daniel Deronda) as Bel Rowley, professional news lady and producer of The Hour (the show within the show, not the show show.) Her partner in crime is her bestie bestie (and maybe boyfriend if she could only stop screwing married men), Freddie Lyon, portrayed by the adorbzabear Ben Whishaw (Bright Star, Brideshead Revisited, Skyfall). Freddie is a truth-seeking journalist and co-presenter of the hour, along with Hector Madden (Dominic West). Hector is less of a truth-seeking journalist and more of a man whore. Hector has an affair with Bel, much to the humiliation of Hector's wife, Marnie (Oona Chaplin, really, yes, that Chaplin).

Freddie is totally in love with Bel, but Bel has friendzoned him, although it's clear from their working and platonic relationship that they should be a couple. In the mean time, Freddie sets out to uncover corruption in the British Parliament and PM's office, overturning secrets that are being kept at the highest levels of the incredibly paranoid UK government. His crusading puts both his life and the survival of The Hour in jeopardy. There are spies and all types of intrigue. Also featured are Anna Chancellor (if you remember your 1995 P&P, she threw shade at Lizzie Bennett as Caroline Bingley) and Peter Capaldi as the Season 2 Head of News. (Thaaaat's where I've seen him before.)

This show is smart, sexy, well-written, and engrossing. It had a following in the US, but BBC canceled it after two seasons. :Sadface: It would be nice if someone else would pick it up and make more episodes. I won't give away too much, but Season 2 ends on a cliffhanger and it was the cast's understanding that they would be tying up the loose ends when the execs at The Beeb brought down the ax. There's no reason why BBC America couldn't take up the reins and make a few more episodes. What does a girl have to do to see Bel and Freddie get together?

Is your "I Like Ike" button tingling? Well, that means it's time to discuss The Bletchley Circle.

Now, we all know the British are known for their great muhhhhder mysteries. There is so much murder in Britain, and so many clever people to solve said murders. Bletchley features a quartet of ladies who worked as Nazi code breakers at the top secret Bletchley Park during World War II. During the post-war period, they've found themselves without much to do because if a lady gets it into her pretty little head that she has a knack for puzzles and things, well then she's really not that content to sit at home and discover new ways with Spam.

Set in 1952 and starring the always awesome Anna Maxwell Martin (Becoming Jane, Bleak House, Philomena) as  Susan Gray, a London housewife who sets things in motion when she realizes that a string of murders she has been reading about in the Times shows a distinct pattern. Not taken seriously by Scotland Yard or even by her own husband, Susan becomes convinced that she can crack the pattern's code and find the killer. She enlists the help of her old Bletchley friends, who have found life rather dull after after their time spent cracking Nazi codes on Enigma machines and whatnot. Susan's friends -- Millie (Rachel Sterling), Lucy (Sophie Rundle), and Jean (Julie Graham) -- have, like Susan, had to keep their wartime activities to themselves and so must for the most part confine themselves to 1950s gender roles.

Girl, don't even think I don't have a tire iron in my dainty handbag.

Series 1 aired on PBS Stateside in 2013 and is available on Netflix streaming. Series 2 saw the departure of Martin's character, and the introduction of a new member of the circle, Alice, portrayed by Hattie Morahan (Elinor in Sense and Sensibility, 2008), a former Bletchley worker who finds herself in trouble with the law. 

I find the Brits tend to have a good grasp on the mystery and suspense drama, and if you're looking for something with some strong female leads, I'd encourage anyone to tune in. Series 2 is available on on Amazon Prime. 

Series 2 just finished airing on PBS, but if your fallout shelter has wifi, the series is available for binge watching online.

Now with wireless internet! And in technicolor! Spamdandy!