My So-Called Reunion

In the fall of 1994, My So-Called Life debuted and immediately won critical praise and a dedicated fan-base, mostly of teenagers. Whereas most family shows at that time were sitcoms that dealt with “very special episodes” once a season, My So-Called Life was a drama that not only confronted those issues in nearly every episode, it did it casually, understanding that to most people these issues, not the regular sitcom fodder of homework or nosey neighbors, were the stuff of everyday life. Sadly, it only lasted for one season but if you were one of the lucky few, as I was, to be squarely in its target demographic, that one year felt like something special.

Come with me, won't you, back to a time of flannel, body suits, and unironically clashing fabrics...

I’d argue the show was one of the forerunners to what we would now call “prestige television” in that it featured many of the same components that would come to define shows like The Sorpanos, or Game of Thrones: a variety of characters with their own plotlines, a unified story told over an entire season, moral ambiguity in plots and character decisions, and a sense of the stakes changing from one episode to another; It felt like life because things evolved and the show didn’t return to the status quo at the end of each episode.

But the show’s hallmark was the ultra-realistic depictions of teenagers and how they related to each other and to the adults in their lives. The show had very few villains, outside of life itself. The show was even mocked at times for the halting, seemingly rambling speaking style of the kids. Adults heard it and felt frustrated, recognizing all the “…um”s and “whatever”s and “….sure”s they heard from their kids daily while teenagers recognized the secret emotional codes that each monosyllabic grunt conveyed.

That inability to communicate was a central theme the show played with constantly. Moreso, it is one that expressed itself not only in the action, but in the interpretation of that action as well. As such, how you viewed the show was very much a function of your age and where you happened to be in your life at the time.

Here’s an example: one episode focused on Angela’s scheme to hang out with the object of her affection, troubled dreamboat Jordan Catalano. Knowing that her parents would never be cool with her spending time with Jordan, she arranges to study at neighbor boy’s Brian’s house one evening, but upon arriving slips away for a clandestine meeting with Jordan. (The meeting is relatively chaste, stuck in that non-verbal, early teenage haze where two kids can barely say anything to each other that doesn’t feature the word “like” as a connector verb.)

At the end of the episode, Angela has a scene with her father, Graham, where he asks about her evening. I distinctly remember my reaction to that scene watching it when it aired in the fall of 1994. It went something like this:

Graham: So you were over at Brian Krakow’s tonight. Was that, like, a date?

Angela: Oh my God, Dad! <Makes frustrated teenage noise>

Me (watching from home): What is wrong with him? How could he think that is what was going on? Clearly she has no feelings for Brian whatsoever. Why does he even bother trying to talk to about this? He’s her dad – it’s not someone you say this stuff to. This is mortifying!

In other words, I had an utterly typical teenaged reaction. Which makes sense, really: I was 16 in 1994, roughly the same age as Angela. My So-Called Life was a revelation because it was the first time I had seen teenaged characters on TV who reacted like I did, who thought like I did, and who looked like I did. They had the same perspective and thoughts and worries. It made them feel real and not canned or codified like the teenage characters on sitcoms who didn’t so much have problems as wacky, 22-minute misadventures that would mostly either resolve themselves or result in someone Learning Something Important.

Then, several years later, a friend of mine had a copy of the entire series on DVD and we gleefully sat down to watch it. We got to that same episode and rewatched that same scene. And like before, I had a strong reaction, though this time it was different:

Graham: So you were over at Brian Krakow’s tonight. Was that, like, a date?

Angela: Oh my God, Dad! <Makes frustrated teenage noise>

Me (watching from home): What is wrong with her? He’s her father and clearly doting on her! All he wants is to be friends with her again and not have this hormonal teenage monster in his house. His approach is awkward, but he’s legitimately trying to show interest in her life. Why is she being such a brat and not seeing that?

And thus, in one swoop and across fifteen years, My So-Called Life showed me exactly when I crossed over to the other side from empathizing with the teenager, to empathizing with the parent even though I myself don’t have children. In retrospect, I think that shows how thoughtfully the show considered the perspectives of not only its teenage characters, but its adult ones as well.

We all grow up. Revisiting our youth can lead to some funny conclusions, not only about who we were but who we are now. Though My So-Called Life only ran for one season, its characters would have graduated Liberty High School in June of 1997, twenty years ago this month. In honor of this show that I still love for its perfect encapsulation of what it felt like to be a teenager in the (mostly) pre-internet 1990s, I started thinking about what would the lives of these people look like if the show were to drop back in on them twenty years after we saw them last. And so, here’s my take on what the 20-year class reunion for My So-Called Life might be:

Angela Chase

Then: ruminative teenager, emotional spendthrift, says “like” a lot

Now: mild-tempered adult, mother, author

The rocky shoals of adolescence were never navigated so fully as they were by Angela Chase. Like most teenagers, Angela experienced high school as a constant source of melodrama, albeit one that she would come to think of in more gilded terms. After high school, Angela attended University of Virginia on a scholarship, graduating with a degree in creative writing.  She eventually took a job writing for a non-profit in Boston where she met Chris, a lawyer. The two eventually became engaged in 2004 and married the following year. Their first child, Claire, was born in 2006, followed by a son, Grant, in 2008. Angela’s often laconic speaking and writing style expressed itself in her first novel, a story about a homeless teenage girl living on the streets of a nameless city which received praise for its “stark, understated style.” Angela continues to contribute steadily to several publications and is currently at work on her third book.

 Rayanne Graff

Then: Rebellious wild child, drug addict, new BFF to Angela

Now: Countess of Devon

After graduation, Rayanne’s life could only have gone in one of two directions: way down the spiral or way up to the clouds. She was destined either to be the repeat offender in the Pittsburg Downtown Rehab Clinic or finally come to terms with her own emotional issues and make some positive changes. Thankfully, she chose the latter, got (mostly) clean and finished an associate’s degree from community college. She managed to enroll as a non-traditional college student, earning her bachelor’s degree in psychology in 2002. In 2003, Rayanne met Charles Courtenay, Lord Courtenay and the son of the 18^th Earl of Devon, England. After a whirlwind romance, the two married in 2004 and Rayanne relocated to London where she become the Countess of Devon after her father-in-law’s death in 2015. Rayanne and her husband have two children and the family are active in philanthropy.*

*Note: This one was easy to write. It actually happened.

Rickie Vasquez

Then: Troubled semi-homeless teenager, kind soul, bisexual

Now: Professional theatre owner, still kind, gay

Despite a rocky adolescence, Rickie managed to graduate from Liberty High on time and in good standing, largely through the help and support of his friends and his mentor, English teacher Mr. Katimski. After graduation, Rickie moved to New York City to pursue his dream of becoming an actor, which largely meant he spent years as a waiter. Despite the challenges of his career choice, Rickie managed to achieve modest success off Broadway and built enough of a network of fellow performers to establish his own performing company and home theatre, The Girls’ Bathroom. The company specializes in telling non-traditional stories and has been featured in leading theatre trade productions. Rickie lives in Astoria and has a reputation for mentoring troubled youth.

Note: my idea of Rickie’s transition from self-identifying as bisexual to identifying as gay is not intended as a case of bisexual erasure. Given the attitude about homosexuality in the mid-90s, particularly in a relatively conservative suburb, I think it’s highly likely that Rickie would have fallen into the trope of identifying as bi at the time because of its relatively better social standing than being gay. (Rickie also self-identified as gay, rather than bisexual, in one of the final episodes.) The notion of gay men initially identifying as bisexual, while certainly used unfairly to cast actual bisexuals as some kind of gay-in-waiting, has nonetheless been an unfortunate pattern for a number of years.

Jordan Catalano

Then: High school bad boy, dreamboat, sorta musician?

Now: Meth addict prolly

Man, you guys – the post-graduation years were not kind to Jordan. I’m operating on the assumption that Jordan even graduated from high school. It’s possible he dropped out, but I think the trajectory of the show would have shown him graduating, albeit just barely. Either way, life after high school was not good for the guy. He was never the brightest star in the heavens to begin with, sensitive soul that he may have been, so his path was likely to either be in the right place at the right time and land a modeling contract or delve down the path of unintentional pregnancies, drug use, and low-paying jobs. One of these was far more likely the other and, now in his late 30s, Jordan has seen some shit, man. He doesn’t really remember his time in high school much, though he does like to think about his car and wishes he could afford a new one.

Brian Krakow

Then: Nerd, Angela’s neighbor, holder of unrequited love

Now: Successful tech magnate, eligible bachelor

For all that he couldn’t catch a break in high school, upon graduation Brian was at the forefront of the new world. The tech revolution was just beginning in earnest in 1996 and Brian capitalized on this by attending college at Stanford and getting in on the ground floor of the tech world. He launched his first killer app only one year out of college and parlayed the experience into a successful video game production company. His company has grown and now provides video and audio solutions for a variety of public and for-profit companies. He lives part time in San Francisco and Montreal and is regularly listed on various society magazines’ annual “most eligible bachelor” lists. He also contributed the start-up capital for Rickie’s independent theatre company. 

 Sharon Cherski

Then: Former BFF to Angela, frenemy of Rayanne, Killjoy

Now: Engineer, somewhat happily married, mother to teenage daughter

Unsurprising to everyone, Sharon graduated top of her class and was immediately accepted into college at Carnegie Mellon University where she pursued a degree in engineering and graduated as one of only two women in her class before becoming the only woman in her graduate degree program. Long since broken up with her high school boyfriend Kyle, she eventually became engaged to Scott, a fellow CMU student before ending the relationship three weeks before the wedding as she realized she wasn’t in love with him. She accepted a job with an auto manufacturer in Johannesburg, South Africa where she met Paul, a fellow engineer. They married and Paul immigrated back to Pittsburgh with her after two years. Their marriage experiences fits and starts, many coming from the clash of two cultures, though Sharon and Paul try to love each other as they manage the tension that comes from a long-term marriage. She now has two daughters of her own, the eldest of which is about to begin her freshman year as a multiracial girl in a mostly white suburban high school. One can only imagine what her experiences will be like…

Patty Chase

Then: Mother to Angela and Danielle, breadwinner, provincial

Now: Semi-retired former executive, doting/meddling mother and grandmother

Patty and Graham’s marriage was straining throughout the show, though it eventually met its breaking point when Patty discovered Graham’s infidelity with his coworker, Hallie Lowenthal. Though they attempted to keep the marriage going, it dissolved shortly after Angela left home. Patty initiated the divorce, coming to the realization that while she still cared for Graham she could never be in love with him again. Patty continued to operate Wood and Jones Printing, wisely foreseeing the impact that the digital world would have on printing companies and successfully diversifying the company enough to keep it in operation for many more years. She eventually sold the company in 2014 for a profit and is now semi-retired. She is proud of the accomplishments of both of her daughters, though she continues to worry about them and has been accused more than once from each of them of inserting herself into their lives. She and Graham are on good terms and Patty has found Graham’s second wife to be surprisingly enjoyable. Patty has no plans to remarry, but continues to keep her options open.

Graham Chase

Then: Father to Angela and Danielle, cook, milquetoast

Now: Remarried, culinary instructor in Philadelphia

Even despite his affair, Graham still didn’t see his divorce coming. He believed that he and Patty had made real progress up until the moment Patty brought home the divorce papers. Given that his previous career path could best be described as “driftless”, it was one more destabilizing event in his life. Thankfully, his progress and reputation at the culinary school he had been attending/instructing at provided a needed assist when a colleague recommended that he apply for an open position at a prestigious culinary school in Philadelphia. He was offered the job and relocated. Shortly after beginning, he met Sue, a real estate agent who was taking cooking classes at the school. They married in 2004 and Graham became a step-father to Sue’s two sons. Graham continued to develop a close relationship with Angela and the two have become closer as Angela has become a parent herself.

 Danielle Chase

Then: Little sister, family non-entity, wisecracker

Now: Blog editor-in-chief, Instagram maven, hot take detractor

Six years younger than Angela, Danielle initially thought that once Angela left the house she would finally have her parents’ undivided attention. Unfortunately, Patty and Graham’s divorce left Danielle once again feeling invisible to her family. She graduated high school in 2005 and attended Oberlin College where she majored in creative writing and gender, sexuality, and feminist studies. It was there that she launched the beta version of her blog “Chasing the Dragon”, initially as an underground zine for fellow Oberlin students. It caught the attention of a New York media mogul who quickly moved to co-opt it, taking it under his media umbrella and hiring Danielle as editor-in-chief. Now going by Dani, she has skewered the social climbers of Los Angeles and New York with her trademark snark and is occasionally called upon to provide talking head commentary for nightly cable news programs. She is happily single.

 Tino

Then: Man of mystery, Frozen Embryos front man

Now: Club DJ maybe? Unconfirmed.

No one actually knows if Tino ever graduated from Liberty High School. Neither Rayanne nor Jordan have heard from him since 1998 when he was last spotted hosting a “total rager” at some Sophomore’s house.  Rickie claims to have seen him at an MTV event in Times Square around 2002, however was unable to confirm. Someone going by his name began to make it big on the Los Angeles club circuit about this time and is currently modestly successful as an international DJ who hides his face with a series of outrageous masks.  It is still unknown what, exactly, he looks like. 

Murder Most Fair

Like World War I, Episode two of Game of Thrones second season, "The Lion and the Rose", featured a major character's death which will set into motion a cascade of events that threatens the newly won peace in Westeros. Maggie Cats and I are here to chat about what is rapidly shaping up to be a horrible idea if you live in Westeros: Getting married. 

Seriously. It amazes me how many geeks want Game of Thrones-themed weddings. Are they not paying attention?

 It goes without saying there are MAJOR SPOILERS afoot for those who haven't caught up yet, so proceed at your own risk. Seriously. It's your last chance. Stop now if you don't want anything given away. The big reveal is in the first line. You've been warned.

 Clovis:  Instead of starting with "what did you think?" how about a variation - how much did Joffrey's death  fit for you in terms of how much you wanted him to suffer relative to how much he actually did? Put another way - was the payoff worth it, or could you have stood to have had at least a few minutes more of sputtering on his part?

 Maggie Cats:  Let me work this one out. Fact: Joffrey is a sociopathic spoiled toolbag who needed to have hot pokers shoved into his eyes. Fact: he was also a kid and watching any kid choke to death on his own blood is horrifying. Especially when his parents are RIGHT. THERE. 

Even by Westeros standards, this is harsh.

Clovis:  Very true. This is another reason I like the actor - he plays this terrible person, but you saw how horrifyingly young he was to die that way.

 Maggie Cats:  I find myself quite conflicted about his mode of expiration actually. I don't think that I, as a viewer, needed more time to watch him suffer. I seem to remember in the book (I hate to always go back to the book, but whatcha gonna do), it took him waaaay longer to die. Because dying from lack of air actually takes a really really long time. It was like 5 minutes before he actually full on died. Which is even worse. So from that perspective, the TV audience kind of got off easy.

 Clovis:  I feel like there wouldn't be enough that could be done to him to make audiences feel they had gotten proper revenge, which is actually kind of the point – this story is fundamentally about how unfair life and humans can be. The villain doesn't always get his just desserts.

 Maggie Cats:  For it to feel like revenge for the audience, I don't think the death itself needed to be more protracted, but steps leading to it. Joffrey would need to be stripped of his throne, humiliated, made to understand his douchebaggery. Poisoning seems so....random.

 Clovis:  Death isn't enough for Joffrey. You want him humiliated, de-powered, destroyed. All the things he's done to others you want visited back on him. It makes me think that the scene they included earlier in the episode between Milesandre and Shireen was definitely emblematic of all this. Milesandre even has that great line about the only hell being the one that we've living in right now.

 Maggie Cats:  Exactly. It's not even the dying that's the important part. It's someone finally getting through to him that is a total c***. Which is of course exactly the opposite of what they teach you in all those seminars about being successful--you can't approach conflict with the attitude that you need to "win" the argument. But that's what you WANT. And Joffrey would never be like, "oh, you are so right, I am such an asshole."

 Clovis:  In fairness, those seminars also aren't oriented toward medieval survival.

 Maggie Cats:  Are you sure? You have never spent a holiday with my family.

 Clovis:  <rim shot>

 Maggie Cats:  Nailed it.

 Clovis:  Totally.

 Maggie Cats:  Anyway, it definitely speaks to the quality of the show (and the book) that you feel sympathy for Joffrey as he dies, despite his awfulness.

 Clovis:  Definitely. He's terrified. He's a little boy again because he's only, like, sixteen. All that bravado that we see him with earlier, cutting up Tyrion's book, mocking the War of the Five Kings, it's all just covering up his own issues and his own immaturity.

 Maggie Cats:  He's never really been anything but childish, which definitely helps with the gut punch during his death scene. He's like that kid in the Twilight Zone episode who is omnipotent. But also a brat.

 Clovis:  Speaking of the scene itself, I have never seen a more Game of Thrones: CSI episode than this one.

 Maggie Cats:  Well, don't forget CSI: Winterfell when Lady Stark was combing the tower for clues and discovered gasp golden hairs!

 Clovis:  That's true. It was a clear precursor. Watching this one with a bit of advanced knowledge, I loved how well framed the scene was showcasing all the potential murderers and laying little clues to the possible point where any one of them could have done it.

"Moi?"

 Maggie Cats:  I actually thought they did a great job of not making it too much of a "something bad is going to happen soon" scene though, so when he actually died you were like WHAT THE HELL?? I need to go back and rewatch; I confess I had forgotten who actually did the deed in the books. I remember NOW though.

 Clovis:  It's never made absolutely clear, but the implication is that it is the Queen of Thorns. And they certainly set that up here - having her specifically play with Sansa's hair (I swear it looks like she palms something when she's touching her braid) and showcasing where they cup goes every time it leaves someone's hand EXCEPT for right before he picks it up again and it's been right at her table.

 Maggie Cats:  Not everyone remembers all the character's thirty names you know, Clovis. Let's just say: Margaery's Grandma.

 Clovis:  Fair enough, if i can also call her Grandma TopGun, because I think that's who she is really.  The scene was like the old con game of "follow the cup". It's in view at all times except for two or three strategic points - when it falls under the table and Sansa picks it up, when it rests at Grandma's table out of frame...

 Maggie Cats:  DUN! But again, unless you knew to look for that...I don't think a viewer would have noticed.

 Clovis:  No, not at all

 Maggie Cats:  Those clever HBO execs...they want me to rewatch!

 Clovis:  It's definitely there to be looked at once you know what's happened. But in terms of other things in this episode, I have to say that the thing that I appreciate again and again about this show is the dedication it takes to the smaller moments.

 Maggie Cats:  Do you mean all the character conversations?  We haven't had this many characters in one room since Season 1.  Loved them all, especially Cersei/Brienne.

 Clovis:  Yup, exactly. The best one being Cersei accusing her of being in love with Jamie. WHICH SHE TOTALLY IS.

It's like Mean Girls, only with be-headings.

 Maggie Cats:  I'm not sure she even thought about it though until Cersei said it. The actress who plays Brienne is really great; I mean they all are, but I love her extra much. Like how I love chocolate, but if you put peanut butter in there I am like OMG INFATUATED.

 Clovis:  Brienne doesn't even really have a vocabulary for love. She knows that she felt something for Renly, but isn't sure how to articulate it. Now she's feeling it again for Jaime, but this time it's with someone who at least actually knows her name and (maybe) feels something back.

 Maggie Cats:  Aw, poor emotionally stunted Brienne. Whatever, I am a total Brienne/Bear shipper.

 Clovis:  There is that lovely song about the two of them...

 Maggie Cats:  Speaking of songs... Rains of Castamere is officially overplayed. It's like Clear Channel owns all Westeros music stations. Enough!

 Clovis:  Even Joffrey was done with it. He threw the coins at the singers who barely made it through the first verse.

 Maggie Cats:  Nice to see some things are universal.

 Clovis:  Oh, another great small moment - Loras and Prince Oberyn totally eye-fucking each other from across the room.

 Maggie Cats:  HA, yes. That was hawt.

Bow-chicka-wow-wow

 Clovis:  I keep saying that with all the inter-relations that we've got going on here between the characters, this show is always only a few decapitations away from being Real Housewives of Westeros.

 Maggie Cats:  To be fair, they would need a shit more botox. Cersei would be first line for that injection.

 Clovis:  She'd cut a bitch. Literally.

 Maggie Cats:  bah dum dum.

 Clovis:  But contrary to our conversation so far, other things did actually happen in this episode. I, for one, was pleased to see crazy-ass Selyse, Stannis's nutty wife, return.

 Maggie Cats:  Oh, yeah. And I guess they burned her bro at the stake. As one does.

 Clovis:  And she's angling to do so to her own daughter if said whelp doesn't shape up. I loved the dinner set up - Selyse and Stannis at one end. Milesandre shoved down at the far end of the table.

 Maggie Cats:  Poor Davos. He is a man adrift in a sea of batshit crazy people. Seriously, he is so....steady. And yet: surrounded by crazy.

 Clovis:  I know, right? What's the phrase about never being a prophet in your own land?

 Maggie Cats:  He is a lot of people's favorite character. I think because he is the only halfway normal person. DESPITE all the stuff that he has gone through.

 Clovis:  Davos (and Milesandre) I think are really among the only True Believers in the show, even though they believe in different things.  As such, they both are arguably the closes to the sanest of the all the characters. Even though Milesandre is decidedly more...um...pragmatic about her sanity.

 Maggie Cats:  I guess it depends on what it is people believe in. I think you could say Tywin is a "true" believer. In his ability to fuck you up if you mess with his family. The Lannisters are what he believes in.

 Clovis:  Yeah, I'd say so. For him, it's just about being faithful to the right path of his family, even if the individual members of that family don't live up. You could argue that Ned Stark was the ultimate True Believer and look what it did for him. Even bad ass Arya isn't a "true" believer though - she's far too motivated by her need for revenge.

 Maggie Cats:  I was going to suggest that, but he kind of backed off at the end. Remember when in the end he did lie--because he thought it would save Arya and Sansa.

 Clovis:  that's true. So in terms of going forward, what are you excited about seeing this season? Joffrey's death happen about halfway through book three with plenty of other developments on the horizon. Without giving away too many spoilers, what are you eager to see?

 Maggie Cats:  Honestly, I don't remember too much. Except for Prince Oberyn's reason for being in Kings Landing coming to a head. I try not to reread the books too close to the tv show since I want to be surprised. So I don't have a clear idea going forward of what will happen. It's probably been about 5 years since I read Storm of Swords.

 Clovis:  Have we really only had one Jon Snow scene so far? I'm personally interested in getting back to the Wall to see how they deal with the invasion of the Wildlings now that some of them have made it over.

 Maggie Cats:  But based on the two episodes we have seen, I want to see more progress in Bran's story. The vision flashes were very cool. And I always want to see more of Jon Snow's hair. So I concur.

 Clovis:  Yeah, i really liked them. In the books when he merges with the trees he can see all sorts of things from all sorts of times. I wonder if they'll use this as an avenue for showing us some of the historical backstory.

"My character's sole purpose so far in this show has just been to be a plot device."

 Maggie Cats:  That's a good idea, maybe some stuff about the First Men, etc. But I am over that fucking three-eyed crow. You know what I need? A stuffed three-eyed crow for my living room. It would really tie the place together.

 Clovis:  It would go well with your iron maiden and your cask of amontillado.

 Maggie Cats:  Don't forget the guillotine. So fun at parties!

 Clovis:  How could I? Madame, her kiss is legend.

 Maggie Cats:  *eyeroll. In the nicest way possible, I mean. If you start quoting Proust I am out of here.

 Clovis:  accepted that way, I assure you. And I'll avoid the Proust. I've had too much grad school in my life to subject anyone to that.

 Maggie Cats:  Anything else you are looking forward to seeing?

 Clovis:   As we said last week, I'm really eager to see what they do with Margaery. In the books she kind of fades into the background after Joffrey's death, at least for a little while. I want to see if they develop her out a bit more. I would pay good money to watch her and Cersei fighting over the Iron Throne.

 Maggie Cats:  I think they will, they showed her in the preview for the next episode. And she is kind of established now. I mean, she IS technically queen. Bitch should just take over.

 Clovis:  Exactly. And the people love her and hate her mother-in-law. Margaery can totally rally the people to her side. The question I've got (for both the book and the show) is how much did she know that Joffrey would be killed? She's not naive, and she's got to be relieved that she doesn't have to actually live with the little demon, but clearly it was always her intent to ascend to this position. There's a reason why she married Renly, after all.

 Maggie Cats:  I never had the impression she knew what was going down.

 Clovis:  So is she just mentally nimble enough to take that crown and run with it until Cersei rips it off her head? Cersei is often ineffectual, but she does know how to move quickly. And TV Cersei is portrayed as savvier than Book Cersei.

 Maggie Cats:  I don't know the answers to any of this...which makes me really happy and excited about the season moving forward!

 Clovis:  Agreed. Me too.

That's it for this week. Join us again next week for episode three - "Breaker of Chains".