Secret Boyfriend(s) of the Week

Justin Tolchuck and Raja Musharaff, from Aliens in America. And no, it's not weird that I chose two high school characters as our SBs this week - Dan Byrd is 22, and Adhir Kalyan is 23. Besides, when guys are this freakin' adorkable, age ain't nothin' but a number.


Is it just me, or do these two look insanely huggable?

After six seasons of Scrubs, you'd think I'd have had my fill of neurotic narrators who combine entirely egocentric world views with often depressing lacks of self-esteem. Apparently not. And while John Dorian's rambling voiceovers eventually become preachy and overdone, Justin's interjections are both quirky and poignant, without being heavy-handed. Of course the series is still young and, due to it's content and setting (race relations and Smalltown USA, respectively), it runs the risk of descending into after-school special territory.


A Very Special Episode? Oh, dear God, no.

The acting is so good, though. Everyone in this series is a parody (the overbearing mother, the vapid teenage daughter, the well-meaning but ultimately feckless father) and yet each character comes across as authentic, and likeable. That's more than chemistry. That's alchemy. I have a feeling that these boys could taken the most leaden of plots and make it into television gold.

And Raja! Oh, I could write odes about this guy. Sonnets! Epic poems of adulation and joy! *ahem* I'll restrain myself to saying, I dig this kid. Religious people are often depicted at best as kooks and at worst, zealots. But Raja has a quiet dignity that, to me, speaks of the inner peace that true faith brings. And at the same time, he isn't so holier-than-thou that he won't play Dishsoap-dispenser Drums to accompany your Parasol Guitar every once in a while.


Oh, yeah. They're cool.

Finally, I love the relationship between Justin and Raja. They're both outsiders, but it goes beyond that. Raja's steadfastness makes Justin a better person. Justin's flakiness reminds Raja that, hey, they're still just kids. And I'm looking forward to watching them grow up.

I have never wanted pie more in my LIFE.

There has been a lot said about Pushing Daisies.
How it's wacky and whimsical...beautiful and charming...and that its slick, colorful exterior serves as a great contrast to the black humor that shoots through its core. But blah blah blah whatever. Because the show is just fun. Watching it makes me grin like a fool. Handgun cozies? Petting your dog with a stick? Bursting into song in the middle of a pie shop? Sisters who used to have a synchronized swimming team called the Darling Mermaid Darlings? Kissing through saran wrap? I'm hooked. Say no more. I'm on board.
Say what you want...the show is hard to categorize no matter how you slice it. I suppose you could describe it as an adult fary-tale/crime procedural. And a comedy. And a drama. And a musical. See what I mean about being hard to categorize? But, again, it's just so fun! It's like a group of fun though slightly insane people got together and said, "you know what? Let's make a show that is just awesome." And Pushing Daisies was the result.

While the plots are often meandering, and often make...how shall I say, no sense, it's not a case of style over substance. Ned's central problem, his inability to touch (or connect) with the wider world around him is applicable to all of us. Although, to be fair, our wider world doesn't appear in such vivid technicolor as Ned's. Which makes his inability to truly fit in with the wonderland around him even sadder. I have a feeling the moral of the story will be something along the lines of closing ourselves off from those around us never works out. Or it could just be that pie is awesome. Because whenever I watch this show, I want pie. As in, NOW.

What about BOB?

Just in time for Halloween, TV Squad has released their list of the top 10 scariest tv characters of all time. While I don't disagree with any of the choices they made (with special kudos for their choice of The Gentleman from Buffy, because DAMN, those guys were scary), I can't help but ask, how could they forget about BOB??

For those of you with a taste of the macabre, surely you are familiar with David Lynch's frightening and yet awesome tv series, Twin Peaks. And if you have watched Twin Peaks, you know about BOB. The malevolent spirit who delights in possessing people and making them perform unspeakable atrocities has got to be THE scariest tv character of all time. Here's a pic:



SEE???

Now, according to tv legend, Frank Silva (the portrayer of BOB) worked on the set of Twin Peaks as a set dresser and his reflection from a mirror was caught on film. David Lynch, who has got to be one of the weirdest people ever, was so struck by the OMGSOSCARYiness of it, that he wrote the character BOB and hired Frank Silva to portray him.

The moment captured in the picture above comes from the show's Pilot, when the audience first caught a glimpse of BOB as he was seen crouched behind a bed during a hallucination/vision of Laura Palmer's mother. I think I can say with a certain degree of definitiveness that from that moment on, BOB because the scariest character in television EVER. Disagree? The you probably haven't seen Twin Peaks.

Torchwood In A Nutshell or Seriously, Russell? SERIOUSLY?

A/N: This was written after watching almost the entire season of Torchwood, before seeing the last few episodes of Doctor Who Season Three. It includes spoilers for "Everything Changes," "Greeks Bearing Gifts" and "Keep Killing Suzie," at very least.

***

Good location (as demonstrated by the eighteen gratuitous aerial shots per episode to remind you that OMFG THEY ARE IN CARDIFF!). Good production values. Good creative team (Russell T. Davies is a Golden God). Good actors.

Inexplicably terrible.


Back row: Dopey, Sleepy, Happy, Grumpy, Bashful
Foreground: Sneezy? OK, so the metaphor falls apart a bit.
He sure as hell isn't Doc.

A friend asked me why I watch this show, when I clearly don’t like it. Let me clarify – I love watching Torchwood. Maggie and I derive great pleasure from mocking everything that is said and done in what passes for Torchwood’s plot. And there’s always a (microscopic) chance that something that happens in this atrocity may be important in future episodes of Doctor Who. And heaven forbid we miss a single obscure DW reference.

The worst of it is the characters. Owen is a douche. Ianto is an emo kid. Tosh is completely spineless. Gwen is too fucking naïve to live. And Jack – Jack in Doctor Who is LOVE, but Jack in Torchwood is kind of an irredeemable bastard. And they can’t seem to stay out of each other’s pants long enough to do much actual work.

Tosh: Hi, guys! I have this thing to show you –
Gwen (thinking): Can’t she see we’re busy having eye sex?
Owen (thinking): Mmmm, I loved it when Gwen dressed me up and called me ‘mummy.’ I wonder if Rhys would be into a threesome.
Tosh: *rips off telepathy necklace* Ugh, I think I’m going to be sick.

Ianto: So … now that we’re putting our dead colleague’s body back in the freezer, I think this would be a great time to suddenly stop crying about my dead girlfriend and proposition my boss.
Jack: Oh yeah, baby, the way you click that stopwatch really turns me on!
Suzie: Um, hello? I’m laying right here.
Jack: You can watch.
Suzie: I’d rather die. Oh, wait …

The only redeeming qualities of Torchwood:
1. Cap’n Jack Hotness. His suspenders-and-overcoat combination is ridiculous … ly adorable!
2. Plot continuity, and the occasional well-designed plot twist. These include:

• Cap’n Jack can never die because Rose resurrected him.
• The severed hand? Totally the Doctor’s!
• Suzie killing herself was all part of Her Evil Plan. And you know Russell T. Davies thought of that shit, too.

So I’ll hang in for the rest of the season. If only for the one shining moment in DW when Jack returns and says,

“OMFG, I WAS IN CARDIFF!”

I know this isn't a Heroes blog but I have to say....TIM KRING WHERE IS SYLAR? WE HAD A DEAL...I WOULD WATCH HEROES AND YOU WOULD GIVE ME MORE ZACHARY QUINTO.

How long do I have to wait, Tim Kring, how long?

WANT. SYLAR. NOW.

Transcript of a conversation between two Heroes fans

Sri: Hey! You watching Heroes tonight?
Maggie: HELLS YES! Shall we chat during commercials?
Sri: Totes!
Maggie: Woot.

*random squee-age re: Chuck and Doctor Who*

Sri: OMFG HEROES IN 8 MINUTES! Wait - limited commercial interruption? I should pee now ... be right back.

Maggie: It's time! I hope Sylar is in the premiere. But probably not.
Sri: Ha, maybe.
Maggie: Also ... SHUT UP MOHINDER!
Sri: Hey, that's my man you're talkin' about.
Maggie: Tim Kring, quit it with the voice-overs.
Sri: I was hoping those would fall off second season.

Maggie: I love Nathan calling his mom evil. I cheered.
Sri: But that was so mean! Even if she is evil.
Maggie: It was awesome. And someone is hunting the old guard.
Sri: She's going to die!
Maggie: And that will be awesome!

Maggie: Aw, I missed Hiro.
Sri: YATTA! You know that was a shout-out to all the fan girls.
Maggie: Maybe Hiro is learning something bad ass from Sark, and he's hunting [the old guard] down.

Sri: Oh, poor Molly! That shit would give anyone nightmares. And why did [Matt's wife] divorce him?
Maggie: Because she is dumb.
Sri: For real!
Maggie: Greg Grunberg is love. And, gotta say, recovering from FOUR BULLETS IN THE CHEST after only four months is pretty bad ass.

*random squee-age re: The Office and ... John Stamos?*

Maggie: Um. Hate [Nathan's] beard. But it makes me miss Claude.
Sri: Yes. That beard is clearly the devil. It looks like it's eating his face.
*later, but on a related note*
Maggie (upon seeing the random fake Irishmen): Heh, I like their accents. "Turd" row back ... it's totally Peter inside.
Sri: HE GOT A HAIRCUT! LOVE!
Maggie: "I don't remember?" LAME. Amnesia is so last year.
Sri: Indeed. But I love the new 'do. Sad thing is ... it looks like Peter's hair migrated to Nathan's face.
Maggie: Ha!
Sri: And it's super power is looking disgusting.

Sri: *gasp* Matt/Mohinder OTP!
Maggie: And a million fan fics were born.
Sri: Hahahaha!
Maggie: They moved in together? This show is so gay.
Sri: In a good way.
Maggie: Sylar is going to be pissed when he comes back and finds out Mohinder has been cheating on him ...
Sri: And, incidentally, when an 8 year-old is the Voice of Reason, you know you're in trouble.

Sri: Ha, Claire's got a new androgynous boyfriend.
Maggie: He ... annoys me.
Sri: Yeah. That whole "robots vs aliens" thing is kind of insulting.
Maggie: I think he is going for 'adorkably charming' but it's coming off 'ass hat.'
*later, there is flying and peeking into young girls' windows*
Maggie: WHOA.
Sri: Stalker!
Maggie: Awesome! But still ... CLANG CLANG SKETCH ALERT.

Maggie (about the Cheerleading Challenge): There is an easier solution to this problem. Martha says 'fuck off!' and walks away.
Sri: I'd be like, 'NO, BITCH! Back the hell off and die!' ... this is why I was unpopular in high school.

Maggie: David Anders is so smokin'. Also, you should never meet your hero.
Sri: OH NO HE DIDN'T! Smokin' or no, punching Hiro is not cool. Besides, I bet the legends of Takezo Kensei are actually based on the swordsmith's daughter. But since Japanese culture was so patriarchal, they couldn't deal with her being a woman.
Maggie: So there were like, 'let's make it the drunk white dude!'

Sri: Mr. Bennet is going to kill his manager and hide the body where no one will ever find it. So much for being 'invisible.'
Maggie: Mr. Muggles 4 EVAH!
Sri: I like the EXTREME GUILT CLOSE-UPS!!
Maggie: For the lying liars who lie.
Sri: I love Lyle's look of utter confusion.
Maggie: ... and terror. Like, SOMEONE ANSWER HER, PLEASE!

Sri: OMFG Mohinder's cheating on Sylar - again! Mr. Bennet, I expected more from you.
Maggie: Mohinder is such a slut.

Sri: F*cking shave, Nathan, and maybe I'll be able to stand the sight of you.
Maggie: I don't think Nathan could look sketchier if he tried.
Sri: Oh, nast. Looks even worse in the bar mirror.

Maggie (in the attitude of one reunited with her long-lost love): SYLAR! Nice shirt.