Deadliest Warrior

Why has nobody told me about this show until now? WHY?

It combines three of my favorite things: fighting, awesome weapons, and lots and lots of fake blood. Seriously, this show is the bomb. Sometimes literally.

I am, of course, talking about Spike TV's Deadliest Warrior. The show pits famous warriors (either individuals-- like William the Conqueror--or classes of fighters, such as a Zulu warrior) against each other in a series of tests to see who will come out on top. The results of the various tests are then plugged into a computer simulation program which calculates the deadliest warrior.

The tests that each hypothetical warrior are put through focus on their standard weapons and battle techniques. For example, a recent episode I caught with my Dad and brother pitted a Roman Centurion against an Indian Rajput. Their weapons were categorized by their range capabilities, and various experts took turns whacking at blood-filled mannequins or (also blood-filled) hunks of meat to determine which weapon was most effective. Another episode that pitted the CIA against the KGB combined weapons and strategy, posing a challenge for experts in Cold War weaponry to see who could perform the quickest and most efficient clandestine assassination. Shockingly, the exploding cigar lost. Boo.

So what's the allure of this show? Um, how about the fact that it is completely badass? As someone who was raised on action movies I have a pretty strong bloodthirsty streak, so watching showdowns between history's best and deadliest fighters is pretty awesome. The tests are always fun (if you like seeing mannequins getting hacked limb from limb--and really, who doesn't?) and sometimes the results are surprising. But really this show is entertainment at it's most basic. Violence = fun.

It's just too bad there aren't more female contenders for the Deadliest Warrior. Aside from Joan of Arc I haven't seen the show focus on any women. In that vein, I have come up with a great deathmatch:

Miyamoto Musashi, a Japanese ronin and the most famous swordsman of all time....

VS.

Jane Austen, famed nineteenth century English novelist.

The pen is mightier than the sword, right?

GET IT??

Oh, shut up.

Deadliest Warrior airs on Spike TV pretty much all the time, but the new third season episodes air Wednesday nights at 10pm.

Chloe King....it'll do in a pinch.

I'm just going to say this off the bat: there's never going to be another Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There's no way to recapture that perfect storm of writing, cast, stories, and teenage drama that made Buffy such an amazing ride. And despite it's less than stellar ratings, Buffy has become a true part of American culture. Which of course means that television networks are going to forever try to duplicate it's formula.

You know what I mean: teenage girl (or guy) realizes she/he has superpowers, is part of some great mythical calling, and must become a leader in an ancient war...while at the same time balancing all the facets of what we call "normal" life. School, jobs, love...sometimes those things are harder than kicking the ass of fantastical creatures.

The Nine Lives of Chloe King currently airing on ABC Family is the latest in these Buffy-esque dramas. From wiki (with a little editing for clarity from yours truly):

Chloe King is a teenager who discovers she is a descendant of an ancient race called the Mai. She has special cat-like powers, including nine lives, superhuman speed, strength, hearing, agility, night vision and the ability to extend her nails like cat claws. The Mai once acted as defenders of humans and guardians for Egyptian pharaohs and are descendants of the Egyptian cat-goddess Bastet. Chloe has extra abilities even among the Mai, and her gift of nine lives marks her as the "Uniter," a warrior in a prophecy that states that she must save the world and both the Mai and Human races, and stop their war. She begins training with two other teenage Mai, named Jasmine and Alec, and is being pursued by a shadowy human organization known as The Order, who are trying to destroy all the Mai...especially the Uniter. Of course, she also has her trusty best (human) friends Paul and Amy who help keep her grounded in the "real" world.

The show is harmless fun. The whole cast is likable, especially Chloe, which is a good thing because if she was insufferable the rather lackluster plotting could become a problem. But Chloe, her friends, and her Mom (Amy Pietz--who was hilarious as the Mom on Aliens in America a few years ago) are all interesting and not annoying, which is more than you get from most shows about teenagers.

The Mai themselves are also pretty cool. Chloe picks up her new powers really quickly so there's no waiting for the badassery to start. Basically, she immediately starts kicking bad guy butt. And the concept of her nine lives is pretty interesting too--the show can feel free to kill her off a couple times and she'll bounce back, and it definitely gives a sense of weight to the show. You know going in that the heroine in this show will die. Sure, she'll come back, but when the bad guy wraps her in chains and dumps her in a pool of water there's real tension that she could actually drown horribly.

And of course there's romance. Mai can't get together with humans--even a kiss from a Mai is fatal to a human. So it makes Chloe's burgeoning romance with nice-guy Brian (whose father is connected to the Order) interesting. And hottie Mai Alec is pretty interested in Chloe as well. What's a girl to do? Thankfully, Chloe is not the kind to sit around whining and complaining about her love triangle woes--so far. It's also nice not to have to rehash the whole "I never wanted super powers all I want is a normal life!" plot. For the most part, Chloe is very accepting of her lot, takes to her new powers with relish, and despite the danger that accompanies her new role as the Uniter (both to herself and her family), seems to enjoy being a superhero.

For those looking for some mindless summer fun, I would definitely recommend The Nine Lives of Chloe King. Cool fights scenes, an interesting premise, and likable characters more than make up for the unclear (so far) back story and vague menace of the Big Bad. You can find the episodes that have already aired online or on On Demand, and check out the show Tuesday nights at 9:00 on AMC Family.

Spies Like Us (And We Like Spies)

Burn Notice is a summer series currently in its fifth season. I've so far watched through a good chunk of the third season. The premise is basic (and outlined for you at the start of every episode). Michael Westen used to be a spy for the US Government. However, someone, somehow, made it look like he'd done some very bad things. Spies don't get fired or retired. They get burned. He is dumped in Miami with no money, no credit history, no connections, and no way to leave (this last bit they never really explain well; apparently, the nebulous "they" are willing to let him live, but will kill him if he leaves). He has to get by on little more than the skills and training he received as a spy.

And his sunglasses. Seriously, they deserve billing.

The show's main weakness is the fact that it is incredibly formulaic. Almost without exception, the show starts with Michael coming up with a step in his grand plan towards the goal of this particular season. This plan will be referenced a few times throughout the episode. At the end of the episode, he takes the step forward in his plan. Meantime, he will someone stumble across a "Client". This is typically a normal, law-abiding citizen who has somehow attracted the displeasure of some crime syndicate or other. It will usually seem to be very minor at the start, and rapidly develop into a much larger problem than it first appeared. At the end, Michael saves the day.

Personally, I really like the formula, which is why I keep watching. But I cannot in good conscience recommend this show to anyone, because if that one method of doing things isn't something you'll want to watch over and over again, you will rapidly get bored. There are many cosmetic changes. Each season's over-arching plot is usually somewhat riveting. Sometimes he connects with the Client himself, and sometimes it's a favor he does for one of his teammates, either the paper-manipulating former Navy Seal Sam, or the Picasso-with-explosives Irish terrorist girlfriend Fiona, or his chain-smoking passive-aggressive hypochondriac mother. Bad guys will recur, sometimes an asset on one job will come back later and be a client. It tends to the fairy-tale ending side of things, but it gets fairly dark.

This woman spawns spies. And emphysema.

The selling point, to me, is the tricky mechanical stuff they do. Anyone besides the few main characters will get a super when they are introduced each episode, and they're good at making these funny. They will split the screen to show Michael trying to pick the lock and escape unnoticed while the bad guy walks down the corridor towards him. They have some of the most effective use of voice-over I've ever seen.

In short, it's worth watching a few episodes. You might find yourself hooked, and watch it for a while. Just don't expect it to ever change.

The Lights will always be on for me.

Tomorrow night, Friday Night Lights airs its last episode. EVER. And today the creators/actors/crew of the show got a nice thank you: an Emmy nomination for best drama series. Sure, that nomination has been 5 years in the making (and don't even get me started on all the years Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton were snubbed), but hey, better late than never right?

When I read the nominations over at EW.com this morning, and saw FNL's nomination, I literally gasped, yelled "Oh my god! I am so happy!" and did a little dance in my seat. At my desk. AT WORK. And I didn't care who saw or heard me, because dammit, this show is awesome.

I'm not going to rehash everything I have said about the show in the past (the realistic depiction of small town (and everywhere) life, relationships between family and friends, the excitement of the football--ok maybe I will rehash it) and the show has been the topic of 11 blog posts in the past. That seems like a lot, but I am always trying my darndest to get people to watch it. The fact that it's lasted this long is really a miracle and represents the only instance in recent memory I can think of where a network kept a show around because it was good. The ratings were never that great, and the splitting of the cost with DirecTV was definitely a help, but say what you want with NBC--they did right by us with this one.

If you haven't seen it before, wow, are you behind. But on the other hand, you get to sit down with 5 amazing seasons of one of the best dramas on television (NOT exaggerating on that one) and enjoy it. And for that I am a little jealous. You get to experience it all for the first time, without worrying about cancellation, schedule changes, and all the usual television bullshit.

So here is what I recommend. Some Friday evening in late September and early October, when a light breeze carries a hint of fall and the excitement of high school football and dreams, curl up on your couch and give Friday Night Lights a chance. I promise you won't be disappointed.

And remember: clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.

ETA: Check out this awesome article sent to me from Alexis and Jamie at work. An Oral History of Friday Night Lights, courtesy of Grantland. It has a couple plot spoilers, so beware!

...in which Caroline and Maggie Cats discuss The Killing

I may be a little late to the party, but I tend to get there eventually. After languishing on my DVR for several months, I finally got around to watching the first season of AMC's murder mystery The Killing. There was some, shall we say, controversy surrounding the season finale, and that was what finally got me off my butt to watch the show. Caroline had some strong feelings following the finale, so she and I kicked it old school style (like we used to back in the day) with some gchat blogging.

Fair warning: we discuss some minor spoilers of the first season and the structure of the finale. If you're likely to watch the show (although the moral of the story is basically: don't) you might want to steer clear of this one.

caroline: what i thought about The Killing's first season finale: FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE. Seriously, i was so mad i nearly threw the remote at the TV.

me: what was it that pissed you off? the lack of definitive resolution to Rosie's murder? I had heard grumblings from people about the finale, so I was prepared to not find out who the actual killer was when I watched it.

caroline: well, i have had some time to think about what exactly it was that made me so HULK SMASH and i think that primarily (as everyone else on the entire internet also said) it was that the promise of the pilot and the first couple of episodes was just so thoroughly destroyed by the time we got to the season finale, that i just wanted to know who killed her OMG. The characters that initially seemed so promisingly complex just turned into a bunch of flimsy collections of characteristics without an actual cohesive center, if that makes any sense

me: that was something else I was going to ask you; to me, the show let down on the promise of the premiere in terms of quality, and by the end it was kind of a mess.

caroline: oh, it was a complete disaster.

me: the problem is, it seemed like a planned disaster. It wasn't like LOST, where it felt like it was aimlessly wandering. I got the feeling that the writers thought they were geniuses with all the red herrings but from a viewer standpoint they made it look like the detectives didn't know were they doing for the sake of their story.

caroline: i mean, somebody called Holden and Linder the Keystone Kops, and i could not agree more; talk about slipshod detecting -- it was like the Scooby Gang!

me: I think when they introduced the terrorism subplot they began to lose me.
I was not as pissed about the finale; I thought it was a wasted opportunity, but I think I was prepared to not have resolution on the central murder. And I have to say, when they cut to black I was disappointed because I did want to see what happened next.

caroline: see, i was only watching by that point for some resolution -- to see if, by some miracle, they could tie it all up in the final episode. The thing that made me the most angry, i think, is that they sent the one character i cared about into a total 180 without earning it at all

me: You mean the implication like Holder was a dirty cop?

caroline: the one thing the writers got right was the evolution/redemption of his character...the one thing! And then to just yank the rug out from under that story arc in the last 15 seconds of the show was cheap.

me: I think by watching it all back to back I was better served by that...I found it surprising but not shocking. If that makes sense. I can believe that there is still more going on with him.
I think my central problem with the show is what Tom and Lorenzo refer to as the over-abundance of "misery porn"

caroline: OMG, right?

me: the early episodes with the Larsons were just too much. There is only so much grief a person can take seeing.

caroline: like, some of that is interesting, and definitely a departure from what you normally get with crime procedurals. But when week after week it's just Mitch drowning herself (...heh) in her grief in Rosie's room ... we get it.

me: agreed. Also, the "will Linden leave town" thing was lame. Spoiler alert: SHE'S NOT GOING. She's the main character!

caroline: DUDE. that got old, like, five minutes into the pilot.
(although it did give me a few minutes to wonder if Callum Keith Rennie is secretly the killer. did you see Harper's Island?)

me: heh, I did! That show was more entertaining than The Killing. Make of that what you will

caroline: you are not wrong, lady.

me: so here's the big question: will you come back for Season 2?

caroline: absolutely not. Well: i will read TWOP to see who killed her. But seriously: SO MAD.

me: I think I will check out the premiere...but if it doesn't seem they have learned any lessons it's over.

caroline: fair enough ... but I've read a couple interviews with the creator where she's all, "oh, it's fabulous that everyone hated the ending! It just means they're talking about my show! Proof that my plotting and characterization are impeccable!"

me: Wow. Talk about delusional. It really means people won't watch anymore and you'll get fired! I think the take-away from this its that it's REALLY hard to stretch one murder into an entire season of a tv show without it becoming a meandering over-complicated mess.
Hello, Twin Peaks?

caroline:OMG Twin Peaks. I haven't watched that in a looong time
But. The parallels. They are overwhelming.

me: The Killing has suffered from Twin Peaks syndrome...if you premise an entire show on "
“who killed so and so" people expect you tell them.

caroline: right. Or, at the very least, to give them something else to chew on that distracts them from the part where you don't actually tell them

me: I thought for sure they would reveal the killer in the finale...and then the ripples of Rosie's murder would reveal or lead to another death that would make up season 2. Alas not the case.
Because that seems to be the central conceit of the show...how a killing affects the people involved, no matter how tangental.

caroline: agreed, and that's a very intriguing premise. They just couldn't sustain it

me: so, final thoughts?

caroline: final thoughts. Creative, unusual premise; intensely talented actors. Both of those let down by unfocused, lazy writing and a vast miscalculation of what the viewers wanted and what the story demanded

The Killing: a great show to watch! Assuming you like miserably slow pacing, inconsistent characters, grief porn, and no resolution to WHO ACTUALLY KILLED ROSIE LARSEN.

Awesome Theme Song

... is awesome! This guy named Jason Sturgill recently did an orchestral version of the X-Men theme song. Check it!



I loved this show, mostly because I was convinced my mutant powers would manifest themselves at any given moment. And even though the science is so terrible that it gives me a mild headache, I'm sure X-Men is one of the reasons I work in genetics today. Double true.

BAMF

This post contains spoilers for the first season of Game of Thrones. Including a big honking one that gives away the surprise twist. You have been warned so don't come crying to me if you read it and then regret it.

Wow, I have been sitting on this one for a looooooooooooong time. First, I was like, "oh! This has to to do with Game of Thrones! I should wait until Sean Bean's character dies and then post it because it would make for some delightful juxtaposition." And then I was like, "nah, I should wait until the first season is over when I discuss the season overall."

But I didn't do either of those things. Because I am lazy.

But fear not, gentle readers! Because I have finally gotten around to giving you further proof that Sean Bean is BAMF.

He got stabbed in a fight outside a bar, walked back in, patched himself up, and ordered another drink.

Now I have been a fan of Sean Bean since I was about 11 years old. There I was, innocently watching Masterpiece Theater, and he appeared as the villainous Lovelace in the BBC production of Clarissa. Despite his kidnapping, psychologically torturing, raping (!!), and then abandoning the show's heroine, I was hooked. I followed his career ever since, from the Sharpe movies (just IMDB it if you've never heard of it), to Patriot Games, to The Lord of the Rings, to Game of Thrones. He may be a total "Hey, It's That Guy!" to most Americans, but to me Sean Bean is the shit.

When he was cast as Ned Stark in Game of Thrones I was ecstatic for him because it was such a big step forward in his career (never underestimate the power of a HBO series), but I was also sad. Because as a fan of the Song of Ice and Fire books, I knew Ned Stark was DOOMED from the beginning, and would only be on the first season of the show. And I had to force myself to bite my tongue to keep from wailing as people raved about his performance. It would be too short lived! It's not fair! Maybe they'll depart from the books and Ned will live? Or not.

So here's to you Sean Bean! You keep being awesome, hanging out with models, defending their honor, and shaking off a stab wound. And I'll keep internet-stalking you. Deal?

Mmm...sigh.

Now where will I get my (mis)information?

So, apparently Glenn Beck's show (Fun Times with Uncle Crybaby Newshour or whatever it was called) aired its final episode yesterday. Hooray, this will free him up to enter the GOP candidate race/media whore circus! Please oh please oh please, Palin/Beck 2012. Freedom Isn't Free (TM).

Aaaaanyway, I would never in a million years suggest you expose yourself to the grotesque stream of conspiracy-laden fallacious logic that erupts, unbidden, from Beck's noisy mouth hole. EXCEPT for this one time. Behold, Requiem for a Rodeo Clown by the good folks at Media Matters.

Sucking, but in the True Blood way.

Warning: this post contains discussion of the entire third season and the fourth season premiere of True Blood!

I watched a lot of True Blood today. And when I say a lot, I mean like 10 episodes. First I had to finish my Season 3 rewatch so I'd be all caught up and then I had to (and I mean had to) watch the fourth season premiere.

True Blood isn't for everyone, of course. It's got more violence, gore, sex, and bad language than almost any other show on television. Add to the that vampires, werewolves, shape-shifters, fairies, and witches and it's definitely not everyone's cup of tea. Of course those are also all the reasons that I love it. To me it's a big old addictive tangle of fun.

When I originally watched the third season, I remember thinking that it was a huge hot mess...but that doesn't mean I didn't like it. After my rewatch, I still enjoyed the hell out of it but it was easier to follow the (many) plot threads that wound throughout. But there are a couple things I am hoping the fourth season can sustain/improve upon.

First, I'd like the fourth season to do a better job of making the secondary (and tertiary) characters a part of the bigger plot. Sam, Jason, Jessica, even Lafayette seemed to languish in subplots that were separate from what was going on with Sookie. Second, I am hoping Tara will stop getting shit on by the plot-gods. I mean seriously. How much crap can one person be expected to take? I cheered for her when she left Bon Temps at the end of the third season because she needed a fresh start and to get the hell away from that place. As much as I took a certain sick delight in the character of Franklin (who might be the most fucking crazy person on this show EVER), watching him repeatedly torture and rape Tara made my feel like I was watching one of those Hostel-like movies. Not good for the soul. Finally, I want the show to continue with introducing the hierarchy and politics of the vampires. What is The Authority? Who makes the kings and queens? Basically, I have a lot of questions about the vampires and I want answers dammit.

So how did the fourth season premiere shape-up? In a word: it was great but a little ridiculous at times. But really doesn't that go for the entire show? There were some huge surprises (the fairies aren't all sparkles and light! Bill is the new king of Louisiana!), and hints were laid of the season to come (witches!). We got a glimpse of Tara in her new life in New Orleans as an ultimate fighter and lesbian (!!) and Jason is actually a deputy. God help us.

Of all the shockers, the revelation that the fairies aren't what we were led to believe is, to me at least, the most interesting. My favorite writer over at TWOP, Jacob, wrote a really interesting article about fairies (ney, faeries) over at Smart Pop and I really recommend you check it out. Despite the weirdness of the opening scene from the season premiere, when Sookie and her grandaddy go from fairyworld to Afghanistan and running away from IEDs, it's clear to the audience that our expectations of fairies are going to be completely subverted this season. I say bring it on. And again, that's firmly in the True Blood wheelhouse, and kind of the point.

I was pleasantly surprised the show decided to flash forward a year, it was weird to think that so much had happened in Bon Temps since the show began and yet it had only been about a month in the actual timeline. It was a brilliant move to propel the show forward and allow the characters to develop quickly. Some might call it lazy (as some of the characters will completely change and the writers aren't burdened with the mess of actual storytelling), but I have a feeling this season is going to center around showing us exactly how all these characters ended up where they are.

Oh, and add two more things to my season four wishlist: Sookie and Eric actually get it on (hawt) and more Alcide please!

I mean, really. Don't you want him on your television too?

PS: Just adding one additional comment that I noticed other people had made on some message boards. When Sookie and Grandpa were fleeing the fairy land...yes. It did resemble an old school Star Trek landscape. Who knew fairy land looked so much like Southern California?

Anyone missing Glee as much as I am? No one? Okay, I'll just... be over here, then.

Pic stolen from courtesy of ROFLrazzi. Not safe for work productivity.

Double Dose of Summer Song Competitions

The age of the summer hiatus from new television has ended. With the influx of all things "reality" the summer is a perfect time to start a new hit show. This summer I have permitted two new reality shows into my world. Keep in mind, with reality shows I am always picky. I only begin watching based on word of mouth and only continue watching if they are spectacular! That being said, I have nothing but great things to say about the two summer song competitions I have fallen in love with.


The first is The Glee Project, airing on Oxygen. For those of you who have fallen my ever increasing disdain for Glee, you may be slightly surprised by this. However, the Glee Project personifies all the things I fell in love with Glee in the first place. This show is a singing/ performing competition to win a guest spot on glee. Each episode the kids perform in a team music video. The producer of the show (and glee) choose with the vocal producer and the choreographer who is not performing well and select a bottom three. The bottom three then perform for Ryan Murphy (executive producer for glee) and he chooses one to "not call back." I like this show because its about the music, but also honest in the way Murphy says "I can write for you" or "I just don't see a character coming from you." The kids appear VERY real, and not trained broadway or theatre or even movie actors. Each also REALLY has a personality.


Additionally, I have fallen for Platinum Hit on Bravo. Yet another in the series of cookie cutter reality shows Bravo has released, Platinum Hit is a song writing competition. To be honest, the songs are good and these writers are talented. Two weeks ago I loved a song soo much I downloaded it off of itunes and have been singing it since. It is interesting because the songwriters are decent performers too. It's actually really interesting to watch the creative process of the song. The only week point for me is Jewel, and though I know other people adore her, she seems just so Blah as a host.

I strongly suggest filling you summer void with these two hits!

Franklin & Bash

Well...I know as a contributor I have been lacking, however, my newly developed passion for Franklin & Bash has brought me back to posting. When I first saw Zack Morris was trying yet another law show (I believe this makes 3), I was disappointed. Another flop for Zack :( However, the inclusion of Brekin Meyer lead me to watch.

I was incredibly impressed. Clearly, the plot is simple, two jokester adult teenagers who act as lawyers, winning cases in shockingly immature manners. The writing is reminiscent of early Aron Sorkin. The dialogue is fast paced and generally witty, with a modern geeky technology twist. Both Meyer and Gosselaar (who I will now stop referring to as Morris) are actually great in their roles. Granted they are quite similar to their early 90s immaturity, but it works.

Joining the already 90s powerful cast is Malcolm McDowell as the powerful head attorney who looms power over everyone. Essentially, the same character he plays in entourage, but with a tad more comedy. I am also incredibly impressed by the anti social misfit supporting cast of Kumain Nanjiani (who plays an agrophobic paralegal) and Garcelle Beauvais (who plays the former felon turn legal aid). I would definitely check this show out.

TNT wednesdays at 9pm :)

James Bond: “You’re Doing It Wrong”

Guest Blogger Jays on his favorite cartoon of the moment (borderline NSFW). Filing this under the "cartoon roundup" because... well, because I can.

xoxo
Monkey Sri

--

I don't have a lot of appointment television shows – the rise of online reruns and DVRs has pretty much killed my need to build any kind of a schedule around what's on TV. That said, every now and again a good show crops up that resets that particular urge. The latest example of this for me is Archer.

Sexy, sexy explosions!

Archer is an animated comedy on FX about the missions of the International Secret Intelligence Service (ISIS), specifically agency super spy Sterling Archer. In addition to the rogues gallery of soviet-era ne'er-do-wells and the occasional modern day terrorist, Archer must also contend with his chief rival at the office (and ex-girlfriend) Lana Kane, a variety of office pencil-pushers more concerned with bureaucracy then saving the world, and his boss who also happens to be his inattentive, abrasive and over-sexed alcoholic mother, Malory Archer.

Archer combines the visual style of the 1960s James Bond movies with modern technology (GPS, cell phones) and conventions (the staff is forced to endure sensitivity training) to frankly hilarious result. It's sort of like what would happen if Mad Men took itself less seriously and featured more espionage and stereotypical eastern European super villains. You know, aside from Betty Draper. <Rimshot> In tone, it's a spiritual successor to Arrested Development, both for its irreverent sense of humor and its casting; Arrested Development alums Jessica Walter, Judy Greer and Jeffrey Tambor all play lead characters.

The title character himself is played with dripping nonchalance by H. Jon Benjamin, who also voices the lead in Bob's Burgers. Sterling Archer is renowned as the most dangerous spy in the business, despite being only moderately bright and way more concerned with his own hedonism than with anything else. He also has the unfortunate distinction of having the least threatening codename in the world, "Duchess". We later learn this was the name of his mother's favorite dog. Additional leads are played by Aisha Tyler as Lana Kane, top female agent and light years more competent than Archer but still not as highly recognized as him, and Chris Parnell as nerdy Cyril Figgis, the ISIS Comptroller and Lana's new boyfriend.

The show takes every trope of a classic spy movie and runs so far with it that it ends up in another genre. The James Bond references are intentionally mashed into the more modern dysfunctional family sitcom. And like its predecessors from that oeuvre, the show doesn't shy away from visual sight gags that are intentionally suggestive. The show has yet to meet an entendre that it couldn't double or triple.

Yup. That Photo of Malory and her dog is referencing exactly what you think it is.

Where the show's standard stock in trade really is, however, is the sex. There's no shortage of people talking about it, people having it and people doing weird things with it. Secretary Cheryl makes no secret of the fact that she enjoys asphyxiation and is often drawn with red finger marks around her neck that go uncommented on by her uncomfortable coworkers. HR Director Pam states on many occasions that her goal is to get one of her coworkers to sleep with her and she's not terribly particular on which one. And it's the rare episode that goes by without someone mentioning Sterling Archer's repeated prostitute addiction, courtesy of lines like these:

Archer: Oh my God, Cyril, you killed my hooker!
Cyril: Call girl! She was a call girl!
Archer: No, Cyril – when they're dead, they're just hookers.

And then there's the bondage, which occurs more often than you'd think…

There is actually a point to this scene, but it doesn't end up where you want it to.

Just finishing its second season, Archer has officially been renewed for season three, which will begin next year. Season one is available for instant watch on Netflix.

Guest Blogger Mac Tackles Teen Wolf

I've been waiting for an extraordinary paranormal show since Buffy ended. I got my hopes up for The Gates, for the American version of Being Human, and every time my expectations were dashed. Well, sign me up for one more potential heartbreak, because Teen Wolf looks like it's got the potential to be pretty awesome.

So far, they've shown the one-hour pilot followed the next day by the first 'real' episode. They pleasantly defied my expectations. The pilot did what it had to; at the risk of damning it with faint praise, it performed its necessary and dull task of defining most of the show's parameters adequately. Many main characters were introduced and their relationships were established. They revealed the, for some reason, freezing cold and constantly raining California town of Beacon Hills. And the paraphysics were lightly touched upon (in short, what powers he gets for being a werewolf). It's all done with a laudable degree of organic-ness, and a spoonful-of-sugar's worth of comic relief.

Speaking of, let me introduce you to, in my opinion, the real star of this show: Dylan O'Brien. This guy's acting is what's going to keep me coming back week after week.

Seen here, perfecting his Barack Obama "Staring hopefully into the future" pose.

He plays Stiles, the best friend, son-of-the-sheriff, comic relief and exposition rolled into one. Currently possessed of no supernatural gifts, he nevertheless balances energetic comedy, palatable plot-progression, and in the first two episodes alone, quite a few touching friendly "sidekick" moments. Think Xander and Willow at once. Actually, don't think that. I did, and now it's all I can think about...

Anyway. The show tries to star Tyler Posey as the eponymous Teen Wolf. Shirtless in every preview. I assumed his acting would be wooden, as he clearly exists to be eye-candy. What actually happened… was interesting. As it turns out, I wasn't entirely wrong. He plays the "straight man" for a great deal of the comedy of the show, and he's a natural. Someone wrote him a great many scenes where the appropriate reaction was "confusion" or "blank incomprehension". This person deserves an Emmy. Or possibly a Nobel. Don't get me wrong, Posey has a few scenes where he has to actually act, and he manages to get through them without being hammy (especially the scenes where he's adorably in love). It's just that the producers know what he's good at, and they know how to get it out of him.

Ladies and one-in-ten guys? Is it working?

In conclusion, though I've focused on the characters, the show really has a lot to offer. There are already several mysteries for the main characters to solve, from figuring out the specifics of "being a werewolf" to a good old-fashioned whodunit, as well as many intriguing clues. I can't wait for the next episode to see if any of my guesses are correct.

The show airs on MTV on Mondays at 10pm EST

1-2-3-4, Can I have a little more?

With the start of summer comes the official end of the 2010-2011 television season. The ashes are still smoldering on the battlefield as some shows emerge triumphant (seriously, Vampire Diaries had on the best seasons ever), some shows floundered (Glee--I want you to sit in the corner and think about what you did), and others crashed and burned.

But if you just squint your eyes, you can see the remains of one of my favorite shows this season. Not many people watched it and it didn't get a lot of attention, but it was quietly brilliant. Which is unfortunately not enough to cut it these days and it was canceled after it's first year.

I am talking about Detroit 1-8-7, an ABC drama that went inside Detroit's homicide division and told some of the best stories on television.

I know what you're thinking. "But Maggie, you hate procedurals and there are already so many cop shows on tv, why on earth would you even watch this or mention it since it doesn't even exist anymore?"

I am glad you mentioned that, imaginary blog reader. The answer is that you can still watch episodes of Detroit 1-8-7 online, and honestly, it's a show worth checking out. Just because some shows didn't last long, doesn't mean I don't enjoy them. I still love Pushing Daisies, Firefly, Freaks and Geeks and Wonderfalls.

Detroit 1-8-7 is way grittier than those shows, but Michael Imperioli was genius on it and created one of the more unique characters in recent memory. In fact, everyone on the show was great, the stories were interesting, and Detroit was as much a character as any of the cops. Lord knows I rag on Detroit, but the city has personality and if you think about it, serves as an allegory for America itself. Think of it this way: Detroit is to Detroit 1-8-7 as Baltimore is to The Wire. In fact, Detroit 1-8-7 is like a network version of The Wire. It has less profanity, is easier to follow the plot, and is just as compelling.

So give it a try. You've got all summer; think of this as part of your summer viewing list. I defy you not to root for Detroit by the end.

It's back!

The other day I was randomly flipping channels, and I discovered something interesting. First, that there is NOTHING good to watch at 3:00 in the afternoon, and second, that there are like 10 channels of VH1.

Remember VH1? It was like MTV for the older crowd. For those who couldn't handle Beastie Boys and the constant screaming teenagers. Also, it had Behind the Music which was like the most melodramatic show ever and was good for hours of entertainment. Especially when they tried to convince me that Ricky Martin was straight by going on and on about his former relationship with this woman and how he would always have feelings for her. Nice try, Behind the Music. You can't fool me! No man who shakes his bon bon like that is straight.

ANYWAY, there I was flipping channels, and I landed on VH1-23 or something and lo and behold! They were showing Pop Up Video! I was obsessed with that show when it initially aired; I loved all the little behind the scenes nuggets (which I was never really convinced were true) and the wry sense of humor of the bubbles. Also the little noise the bubbles made when they popped up. I thought it was cute.

And guess what? Pop Up Video is coming back! I have to admit, this news left me positively giddy which is probably an over-reaction, but who cares? I cannot WAIT for them to tackle some Gaga videos. And apparently they are also doing some hip hop videos. But wait. Do people who watch VH1 even watch hip hop videos? Well, they will now. Now if they will only run another I Love the 80s marathon....

Tell me more! But let's pick a less creepy song...

Secret Girlfriend of the Sneak-Peek

While in Vegas last week, I got to attend a TV screening at MGM Grand - we sat in a computer lab and watched a show, using a little dial to indicate how much we were enjoying it. Sounds a bit weird, I know, but it was hella fun for a television enthusiast/amateur critic such as myself. What made it even more entertaining was the show itself - we got to see the pilot of the upcoming NBC show, 2 Broke Girls, starring the gorgeous and funny Kat Dennings.

Rawr.

You may recognize those luscious lips from such films as Charlie Bartlett, The House Bunny, Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, and most recently Thor. To each and every role Dennings brings a quick wit, a sharp tongue, and undeniable sex appeal. Also, boobs.

Damn girl, put those things away. There are children present.

In 2 Broke Girls, Dennings stars as Max, a sassy yet lovable waitress working in a shady Brooklyn diner. Her world is turned upside down when Caroline (played by relative newcomer Beth Behrs), the newly destitute daughter of a Bernie-Madoff parody, gets a job at the diner and moves in to Max's apartment. At first, Max is disgusted by Caroline's privileged attitude and inability to pull her own weight - but Caroline eventually shows herself to be a good-hearted (if sheltered) person, with enough ambition to carry them both to fame and fortune. That is, if she can learn a lesson or two from Max about common sense!

Okay, I'm done with cheesy announcer voice.
Don't look at me like that!

IMHO, Dennings has served her time as a "hey, it's that girl!" and is due to step into the spotlight in her own show. Obviously I'd love something more innovative than rehashing the odd-couple trope for the billionth time, but would it play in Peoria? The show is also set to occupy a pretty choice spot: Mondays at 8:30 EST, right after HIMYM. Bottom line, it's a show that seems to have a chance of survival, which could potentially give us hours and hours of Kat Dennings - I'm calling it a win!

A lapsed Gleek attends Glee Live

Hello, friends - your long-lost contributor Monkey Sri here. I have a confession to make - I have not set up the cable or internet in my new apartment. Shocking, I know. I am waaaaaay behind on my TV/Hulu-ing, and subsequently my blogging. And as a result, when Maggie and I attended Glee Live in Vegas last week, I had not seen the latest four episodes.

Cue the gay gasp.

This did not diminish my enjoyment of the live show one iota. The show opened with the Legion of Extraordinary Dancers, aka Harry Shum, Jr's (Mike Chang) dance troupe. They do amazing routines that play out like mini-movies - totes worth a click-through.

I won't go through all the songs performed by the Glee kids - here is the complete set-list, with tons of clips. I will just say this - "Kurt" is an will always be my fave, and I need to get Chris Colfer to be my gay best friend. These firm convictions were only strengthened by seeing him and the girls do the "Single Ladies" dance live. BRILLIANT.



Other highlights included Amber Riley (Mercedes) and Naya Rivera (Santana) performing "River Deep, Mountain High" - Do I love them? My, oh my! - and Kevin McHale (Artie) getting to get out of his wheelchair for "Safety Dance." In short, all my favorites got their time in the spotlight - though every single cast member brought the noise and the funk, so it was a thrilling show from start to finish. If you have a chance, go see this show! If you don't, you'll just have to content yourself with the awesome TV show, the Glee Project competition on Oxygen, the upcoming Glee 3D movie...

Throwing Chairs

Perhaps I was naive. Perhaps I was just foolish. But I honestly thought that the age of the Jerry Springer-esque daytime television show had passed. I remember when Jerry Springer and those kind of shows were all the rage; they used to show episodes in the college late-night dining area and people would cheer and catcall whenever so and so ghetto trailer park person (sure it's a stereotype but that doesn't mean it's inaccurate) would physically attack the other ghetto trailer park person, screaming and tossing chairs around. Despite being a "reality" program that kind of behavior always felt so unreal to me. Those people were in on the joke, right?

When Jerry Springer and his show bowed quietly out of sight it was like the nation released a collective sigh of relief. "At last," we thought, "we can move on to more mature programming like The Bachelor, Celebrity Apprentice, and Jersey Shore." At least that was what I thought happened. But I guess I was wrong.

Because last week, while working at home and changing out of my gym clothes, I switched on the tv and there it was. Maury Povich doing a "who is the baby daddy?" themed show where people without jobs or anything useful to do except fornicate (badly--or well depending on how you look at it) yelled at one another. Actually, everyone yelled. The guests, the audience, it's just a whole bunch of people screaming profanities at one another.

Needless to say, I was surprised to see this. I thought we had moved on from this kind of thing. Maury just sits there with a little smile on his face and a "don't blame me" expression and that makes ME want to scream and throw chairs around. Because I have to wonder--who are these people? What are their lives like that they think going on this show is a good idea? Can they not afford the at home DNA kit? Do they have so little self-respect and self-worth that they think being on television makes them a good person? And is this really my fault (i.e. America's fault) for making this kind of culture and behavior ok? And how does Maury Povich deal with this kind of thing every single damn day?

I don't have any real answers here, just more questions. And a feeling of sadness that this kind of thing passes for entertainment. Maybe the people who watch these shows just feel better about themselves after seeing how messy the guests' lives are? Maybe being judgmental and smug and acting like the over-educated under-sexed East Coast liberal that I am makes ME feel better about myself? I don't know. But I do one thing--in my family we don't throw chairs. It's just rude.

Same Stuff, Different Day

Doctor Who has returned! For those not in the know, the umpteenth season of Doctor Who began airing on BBC America last Saturday. The good news is the episode was really good. The bad news is I feel like I have seen it before.

I wasn't all together pleased with last season (remind yourself of why I was disappointed here). After all the hype and expectation surrounding Steven Moffat's take over of the show, last season left me feeling kind of cold. Sure things got better at the end, and Matt Smith and the last moments of the season finale (where Amy "remembers" the Doctor back to life) were awesome, but overall I felt very ho-hum about the whole thing.

Last Saturday's premiere episode had a lot of things going for it. The entire production moved to America and we got some very cool shots of the Doctor and his companions (including River Song) frolicking in the Southwest, as well as Matt Smith adorably proclaiming that Stetsons are cool. Yes, yes they are. Oh, and remember that part where the DOCTOR GOT SHOT AND DIED. Like, for realsies. First he got shot. Then he started regenerating. Then he got SHOT AGAIN AND DIED. Yikes. I'm not sure how they're going to get themselves out of that one. But at least it was completely surprising and unexpected. Unfortunately, that was kind of the last thing about the episode that was.

Look, there's no doubt that Steven Moffat is a brilliant writer. I think fans of the news series of Doctor Who would almost universally list his episodes as their favorites. The Girl in the Fireplace, the Doctor Dances, Blink...these are genius. But I'm getting the impression he is beginning to run out of tricks and has been dipping into the same well a bit too often. The Impossible Astronaut featured a creepy child's voice (The Empty Child), a silent alien enemy that messes with your mind and sight (Blink), a lumbering astronaut (Silence in the Library), and frankly, a derivative episode title (The Impossible Planet).

Was it entertaining? Hell yes. Did it have me on the edge of my seat? Absolutely. Was it scary? Affirmative. But did it feel fresh? Eh. I'm excited to see part 2 on Saturday night and anything that puts Mark Sheppard on my tv is ok by me, but again, I can't help but feel a teeny bit let down. I'm hoping things will take a more surprising turn with second episode, and maybe Moffat can break away from his standard plot devices soon. And there's always the Neil Gaiman episode to look forward to...

Doctor Who airs on BBC America Saturdays at 9:00pm EST (they are also rerunning The Impossible Astronaut at 8:00 this Saturday in case you missed it).