The Wonderful Wizard of Racism

So, I’m not a huge fan of musicals. There’s just something about the level of earnestness that a musical has to have in order to work that puts me off. Unless we’re talking about Soundheim. Seriously, there’s something going on in that dude’s brain that I hope he’s addressing with a therapist. That all said, when you get a musical that intersects with biting social commentary, I’m totally drawn in. Which is why I watched The Wiz Live! last week and am here to talk to you about it.

The Wiz Live! is the follow-up to The Sound of Music Live! and Peter Pan Live! and precedes next year’s Grease Live! All four are created by NBC which is clearly concerned about the dearth of exclamation points used in modern writing. But the biggest thing that The Wiz Live! has managed to do is thoroughly out-perform its two predecessors. By almost all measures, be they social media, ratings, or critical reception, The Wiz Live! was significantly better received than either of NBC’s previous live musical outings. Unfortunately, there are always jerks waiting in the wings to yell loudly about things.

Le Sigh.

I’ll talk about the jerks in a second, but first let’s focus on the production itself. Simply put, the show was thoroughly entertaining. First, consider the cast: David Alan Grier as the Lion, Mary J. Blige as Evilline (The Wicked Witch), Uzo Aduba as Glinda, and Queen Latifah as the Wizard. Dorothy is played by Shanice Williams, an actress who isn’t even 20 and for whom this is her first substantive production and she still managed to hold herself up next to these industry veterans. It almost goes without saying that the costumes and sets were going to be gorgeous and camera-ready, nevertheless they still knocked them out of the park. The word “ambitious” has been tossed around a lot in describing the production, but it is an accurate one that served it well.

I'm not at all ashamed to admit that I want the Wizard's chair in my apartment.

That’s not to say that there weren’t a few cracks – on one or two moments, the actors clearly stepped on each others’ lines or misspoke slightly. A mic dropped into the frame at the beginning of the broadcast. The director also relied too much on camera tricks to accomplish some of the special effects, a particularly confusing decision since those effects are all visible onstage whenever the musical is produced outside of a television studio so it’s not like they’re that hard to create. Those are generally trifles when compared to what the musical did right, however.

But of course, you can’t talk about The Wiz Live! without talking about racism. If the predominant storyline that came out of the production was generally about how good of a production it was, the second biggest story was the extent to which people online who don’t know their heads from their asses seemed to think that casting an all-black version of The Wizard of Oz is somehow an example of “reverse racism.” Twitter and other sources went nuts on this with lots of folk demanding that someone, anyone, should make an all-white version of The Wiz to protest this craziness.

"Should we tell them about MGM in the 1930s?"

I’m just old enough to remember the original version of The Wiz with Diana Ross and Michael Jackson airing on television when I was a kid. When the original film was created, it was actually the end of something; the movie marked the conclusion of an era of films that centered on African American characters and settings, beginning with the Blaxploitation films of the 1970s. Blaxploitation as an era of filmmaking has always been controversial, being seen alternately as both empowering to African American actors, filmmakers, and audiences and harmful to them. (See modern discussions on feminist pornography for a current example of the same argument.) The Wiz made for an odd, if likely unintentional, capstone to that movement. It is hardly the first film people are going to think of alongside Shaft, Super Fly, Blacula, Foxy Brown, or even Dolomite. Nevertheless, it remains one of the last major films to fall firmly into that world until later resurgences in the 1990s and beyond.

Given the original movie’s place in black history and black entertainment, it’s interesting that the modern version made some significant changes to its 1970s forbearer. The original musical and film was firmly grounded in the African American experience of the 1970s, harkening back to L. Frank Baum’s novel in broad strokes but bringing the action, settings, and characters into a thoroughly more urban environment. In it, Dorothy is 24 years old, a teacher, and living in Harlem. The version of Oz she travels to is a Through The Looking Glass version of New York City. Munchkinland is an inner city playground and the Munchkins have been transformed by the Wicked Witch of the East into graffiti because they tagged the park. The Scarecrow is made of garbage, the Tin-Man is found in an abandoned amusement park, the Lion has been hiding among the stone lions in front of the New York Public Library. The four have to contend with an evil subway line, a motorcycle gang, and “poppy girls”, prostitutes working Times Square who spray poppy perfume. The Wicked Witch of the West is a sweatshop owner. Oz isn’t a place that’s arrived by magically; Dorothy gets there by stumbling through a snowstorm below 125^th Street, an area of the city that she’s literally never been to.

I've had this exact same look while riding the B train.

By contrast, The Wiz Live! returns the action to a setting that’s much more in-line with the source material. Now, Dorothy, like her white counterpart from the 1900 novel and the 1939 film, lives in Kansas and is trying to get to Omaha. This Oz looks much more like Judy Garland’s, all psychedelic colors and rural environments. It’s a much more traditional approach that both undercuts the interpretive power of the 1970s film and adds to the value of the original story. Both approaches show that the story can thrive in different settings; the 1970s film transplants the story full cloth into a different world where the modern take applies a different cultural worldview to a predominately white world.

Fierce.

All of which is kind of what makes The Wiz Live! feel so especially different. Instead of being a closing scene, this time the musical is clearly part of the opening number and comes as a vanguard of a new movement toward televised musicals. Second, it layers the experience of a minority population onto a majority’s worldview. Much has been made in the past eight years of the United States becoming a “post-racial” society. While I don’t believe that’s entirely true, we are starting to see pools of that prospect begin to seep into the greater fabric of American culture. Particular in that goal of being “post-racial” is the understanding that no culture speaks with one voice and that there are multiple stories within each cultural group, oftentimes ones that are contradictory. The Wiz Live! and its success is a welcome contributor to that notion.  

Deadbeat

Hey look, it's another guest post! I know what you're thinking. That I am just getting all my friends to write guest posts on the blog because I am too lazy to write them myself. Well, let me just say that you are absolutely right. This one comes courtesy of my awesome friend, Rosa, who is hilarious and watches almost as much tv as me. Almost. She reviews the new Hulu Original series, Deadbeat, which stars the hilarious Tyler Labine (whom I loved in the short-lived CW series, Reaper). I gotta say, the show sounds fun.

I honestly hadn't seen any of the new Hulu original series until I was given a Klout Perk* to see the premiere episode of Deadbeat before the release of all 10 episodes, on April 9th.

The tagline “Helps ghosts. Can't help himself” is a perfect way to get people intrigued for this show. It's about an unfortunate hot-mess named Kevin Pacalioglu, who happens to be a medium. He's a guy who can't seem to get it together but somehow finds a way to help the spirits of New York in resolving their unfinished business.

Deadbeat is the first collaboration between Hulu and Lionsgate and it involves a smorgasbord of well-respected producers co-creators. Troy Miller (Arrested Development, Flight of the Concords) directed and executive produced the show so I was excited to see how this new comedic series would end up. The playful retro horror trailers (there are three total) were a fun extra and I liked their whisper campaign. When I paired all of this with the fact that this supernatural comedy starred Tyler Labine, I stopped what I was doing to watch.

The first thing I will say about Deadbeat is that Labine has excellent comedic instincts and carries this series as its leading man with ease. It was refreshing to see him in a starring role and not in an ensemble or being the quirky best friend. The rest of the casting seemed just as strong but luckily they focused more on the main character in the pilot rather than trying to introduce too many people.

The episode starts off with some completely unnecessary racial jokes and there are a few sprinkled in throughout. Honestly, that was the biggest hurdle for me to get over. I know they're calling it "fun, edgy and provocative" but ethnic potshots are not fun, edgy or provocative. They're avoidable and unwarranted in a world trying to overcome stereotypes.

Some of the writing was obvious in trying to push for laughs and it was the only reason I never fully connected to Kevin. He is the type of character that is like a dumb puppy. You want to get mad or irritated at him but somehow you can't. It's like he just doesn’t know any better. He's already a stoner, a loser and bit of a simpleton... He doesn't need to make racial jokes as well as trying to get us to laugh. A lot of us respond to that type of underdog and if they ease up in future episodes, Kevin could be a guy we all and up loving. 

The whole episode was a bit campy (in a good way) and it definitely didn't take itself seriously. I think it may be a good show for people who will need to fill in the gap after the upcoming Psych finale, as it holds the same kind of ridiculous over the top scenarios.

There is some serious potential in this series, if they can stop trying to add one-two punch jokes or "funny" drug induced scenarios that come across as trying too hard. In a half-hour show that would be interesting enough on it's own, there is really no time to take away from the plot to try and get a laugh. There were a few times that the writing made me feel like I was watching Fozzy Bear try to push a punchline... (Waka Waka!) Which, let's face it, only works for Fozzy.

I will watch the next episode because I know a few shows that had rocky pilots but smoothed themselves out in to something really fun. I'm hoping that's the case with this series.

Overall, it was entertaining enough for me to be a little curious about the next episode but I'm not sure I'd rush out and get a Hulu Plus subscription just to see it.

If you already have Hulu Plus or a trial subscription to it, you may want to check it out.

See the Deadbeat trailer here: the full series starts April 9 on Hulu.


*For those that don't what Klout or a Klout Perk is, I'll give you the lowdown.

Klout.com is a website and mobile app that uses social media analytics to rank its users according to online social influence via the "Klout Score", which is a numerical value between 1 and 100. This is a great site or those of us who work (or have worked) a great deal with social media or for those who have marketing reasoning behind being online… of course, some of us just love the internet and Klout is cool for that too.

Regardless of why you sign up, you can earn "Klout Perks" based on your location, influential topics or Klout Score. You can be offered discounts, product samples or really fun opportunities. It's kinda neat… you become known for what you love and/or areas you have clout in. Clever naming, right?!

Anywhoo, this site was the reason I got to see the premiere episode of Deadbeat so far in advance, so there are some fun freebies to be had. Feel free to read about the perks here or sign up for Klout and look me up.

Recapping AHS: The Unholy Powers of Benadryl

The Good old days of 1830. Madame Lalaurie is returning to New Orleans from Paris, “the jewel of civilization” and complaining about having to come back and the lack of intellect and inner light of the black people. Upstairs, a slave has injured himself and is bleeding profusely. The blood begins to give Delphine ideas and we all know where that is going to head. She strings up the slave and flays him in her attic. “I think I’m going to like it here,” she says gleefully.

In the modern day cemetery, the Coven mourns the “untimely” death of Nan, Fiona and Marie leading the Wailing Widow charge. Cordelia is taking it especially hard that she’s lost another student, although in fairness at least Madison came back. No one seems quite aware where Misty has gone to. “Probably shall-twirling down to the Everglades,” Madison helpfully offers. Arriving to pay their respects are Queenie, who has a re-headed Delphine on a leash. Queenie put her back together without scars, Kyle notes. “If I could have done you, you wouldn’t look like you went through a blender,” she tells him.

"I'm trying to muster up crying. Is this what crying looks like?"

In Atlanta, the Delphi corporation knows that the witches have been the cause of their problems. Hank’s father schemes to arrange a meeting with the Coven and pay them off to undo the spell, after which point they’ll come back and slaughter them to a witch. Yeah, no way ANYONE is going to see through that ruse. Either way, Fiona and Marie agree to a meeting, counting on the double-cross.

Delphine, meanwhile, is getting a little sick of this maid life, cutting the fingernails of the witches and cleaning the toilets and listening to Marie talk about how next time she’s going to sever her parts and scatter them. That is until the moment when one of the (black, natch) gardeners comes into the kitchen having cut his hands pruning the fig trees. Delphine, ever so graciously, offers to help the man – by taking him to Spaulding’s old room in the attic, trussing him up and seeing “what makes the n*ggers tick” by cutting off his toes one at a time.

Not a joke: She's seriously singing "This Little Piggy" before removing the digits.

Zoe meanwhile is casting a spell in the bathroom to reveal what happened to Nan and discovers that both Fiona and Marie were responsible. Madison is unhappy with all the attention that Kyle has been paying to Zoe and not her. She tries to intervene with a helpful blowjob, but Kyle rejects her, causing an epic witch tantrum until Mrytle stops them. Madison declares herself the next Supreme and announces the new order begun. Or something.

In the attic, the eviscerated remains of the gardener are causing something of a mess all over Delphine and the dolls in the room. “Not very robust, were you,” Delphine bemoans. Suddenly Spaulding appears, admiring her handiwork and admitting that he’s a ghost now. Delphine takes that news well, but then, she’s immortal so I guess it’s not that shocking. Spaulding tells her that he knows how to release Delphine by killing Marie through means of a magic concoction that he knows of that will render her invulnerable for a few moments.  But first, Delphine must retrieve an item for him.

Queenie is moving back into her old room which was taken over by Misty. Cordelia tries to approach her to welcome her back, but Queenie notes that since Cordelia’s husband shot her kind of puts a wedge between them. Queenie reveals that she, too, has been manifesting new powers just like all the rest of the young witches, even though she was shot with a silver bullet. (Is that a thing for witches?)

Feeling dejected and determined, Cordelia repairs to her conservatory where she mixes up a paste and spreads it around her eyes. Then she grabs a pair of gardening shears and raises them to her new eyes, the ones that gave her sight but took away her powers. Screaming, she plunges them into both eyes.  When Fiona learns what she has done, she finds Cordelia guarded by Mrytle who refuses to let her in. “Your daughter has become something you will never understand,” Myrtle says. “She’s a hero.” Myrtle challenges Fiona, calling her an enemy to the Coven and dares her to touch her daughter and see if Cordelia’s psychic sense has returned.

"I really need more excuses to use words like 'blanched' when describing the living conditions here."

In the attic, Marie has fetched the “magical” item that Spaulding needed – a rare doll that Spaulding is particularly enamored of from the 19^th century. For her part, Spaulding gives her the special potion that will confer morality onto Marie – something called Benadryl. “Never speak its name aloud!” Spauling dramatically tells Marie.

In the conservatory, Myrtle calls Zoe to her, giving her a rare broach (or something – I don’t know fashion, I can’t tell you what it is but my friend insists that it’s by some rare designer that really exists) and tells her to hawk it for money then take Kyle and leave the Coven for their own safety. Myrtle warns her if she stays, Madison will kill both Zoe and Kyle.

At a very professional looking business park somewhere, the Delphi men have arrived in their Escalades and wait for the witches in a large conference room. It’s Marie and Fiona up against ten men. When the Delphi men ask if they don’t want to check for security or weapons, Fiona laughs. “I took down your entire company with less effort than it takes for me to mix a Rob Roy,” she says. The “negotiation” begins – Delphi offers to do whatever the witches want if they restore Delphi, offering that the war between them is outdated and a thing of the past. Each of Delphi’s directors have signed a 100-year truce that they offer to the women. Fiona counters that the only agreement that will work is if they agree to disband permanently. And give them a private jet and their private house in New Orleans. When no one seems interested in this, the waiter in the room reveals himself to be the Axeman and gets to what he does best, slaughtering every member of Delphi. (Marie, hilariously, plays on her iPhone through the carnage, apparently more interested in Words With Friends.) Fiona saves Hank’s father for herself, axing him personally at the end as Marie Instagrams the scene.

"This is so getting me new followers."

That night, Marie and Fiona toast to their success back at the house. Fiona heads out for her Axeman booty call, leaving Marie alone with Delphine and the “magic potion”. While it’s probably not great to mix antihistamines with champagne and Marie is clearly a little fuzzy from imbibing, Delphine has seriously overplayed her hand here and gets a surprise when she plunges a knife into Marie’s chest. Marie screams, but is more annoyed at having to pull the knife out than anything else and chases after Delphine, managing to only slip and fall down the stairs when Spaulding hits her over the back of the head with a doll. Turns out Spaulding was only interested in getting Marie out of the house and recommends that Delphine take advantage of the situation by burying the unconscious Marie in such a way as to ensure that she can’t get out of the ground.

But Spaulding’s not done being creepy! Guess who found Marie’s baby in the house and is thrilled to have a real LIVING doll to play with in the attic? <shudder>

Elsewhere in the house where no one can hear a woman falling down the stairs, Zoe and Kyle are packing to leave. Kyle is afraid to leave because he’s afraid that he’ll accidently kill Zoe like he did the dog. (Still not okay with that, btw.) Zoe tells him that she loves him and she’s not scared of him, just like any good woman about to enter into an abusive relationship. The two flee the house, running for the bus stop where they board a bus to Orlando (Don’t do it, guys! Seriously, the Mouse is scarier than certain death at the hands of a vengeful witch) and hopefully freedom.

Not the actual ending of this episode, but clearly what they're aiming for.

The Great White Targaryen

Hello, readers! Clovis here. Because we got such a great reaction from our conversation about the Game of Thrones episode “The Rains of Castamere”, Maggie Cats and I are reprising our conversation for this week’s season finale, “Mhysa”. In it, we discuss the continued fallout from the Red Wedding, King Joffrey’s umpteen millionth temper tantrum, Arya Stark’s ongoing journey into badassery, and the uncomfortable racial politics of Daenerys Targaryen’s quest to liberate all of the people who are darker-skinned than she is.

It should go without saying that there are major spoilers ahead and you should not read if you haven’t already watched the final episodes of this season, or if spoilers are just not a thing that you worry your pretty head about. Spoilers from the books are completely absent, however, as I haven’t read them either.

Do enjoy!

 Maggie Cats:  It pains me to admit it, but I was underwhelmed by the finale. I feel bad saying that, since coming off the events of the Rains of Castamere how could it be anything BUT a bit underwhelming.

 Clovis:  I'm inclined to agree. That could partially be because of the hugeness of the Red Wedding, but it just felt a little too much like a coda.

 Maggie Cats:  It felt like a season premiere. Instead of some journey's end...it felt like a bunch of journeys’ beginnings.

 Clovis:  I kept thinking that the season should have ended with that horrible shot of Cat dying and then this would have been an appropriate re-introduction.

 Maggie Cats:  Exactly. I guess there were other characters that had things going on after the Red Wedding that they wanted to get to in a finale...but can you imagine if the image of Cat dying had been the last thing you saw for a year?

 Clovis:  It would have been EPIC. That said, however, I really liked the opening scene. Seeing the carnage still going on was a really good way of keeping the impact of the deaths strong. I also had a seriously sick-to-my-stomach reaction seeing that they had defiled Robb's body the way they did.

 Maggie Cats:  Definitely. That's from the books, and I was wondering if they were going to go there. As a non-book reader, was it clear to you it was Robb's body?

 Clovis:  Oh yeah. The wolf's head really did what it was supposed to do. Also, for people like me for whom the wolves remind me of my family dog, it was doubly heart-breaking. Lay off the Direwolves, people! 

Human slaughter is one thing, but puppy murder is a bridge too far!

 Maggie Cats:  The way you could see the strings/thread holding it on was SICK. But in more lighthearted news, it's nice to see Arya has picked up a sidekick in the Hound. Bron and Tyrion as the wacky sitcom couple is sooooo 2012. This year it's the Arya and Clegane show!

 Clovis:   I kind of want Arya and the Hound in a spin-off series all to themselves. Like an 80s buddy cop movie.

 Maggie Cats:  You want EVERYTHING to be a 80s buddy cop movie.

 Clovis:  It's true. I'm willing to die on that hill.

 Maggie Cats:  I think you watched too much Lethal Weapon.

 Clovis:  Also guilty as charged. But in either case, I really liked the Arya gets stabby scene.

 Maggie Cats:  Yes. I mean, the audience knows she is a total BAMF, but this was kind of the Hound's first time seeing was she can actually do.

 Clovis:  I loved that the Hound's reaction wasn't "dude, don't kill people." but "dude, let me know when you're going to do this next time, mkay?"

 Maggie Cats:  Well, he can't really throw stones on the whole "not killing people” thing. He is good sidekick material for her.

 Clovis:  Exactly. And he's definitely building a grudging respect for her.

 Maggie Cats:  I don't really remember too well where their story is going, so I hope the writers give us some more moment like that. I love how all these people are like Arya's mortal enemies (like Tywin) but then they meet her and are like, "dude, this kid is awesome." Arya would so be Facebook friends with all the Lannisters.

 Clovis:  Can I also say how much I loved her "this is the first man I've killed..." qualifier, just moving right past that boy she killed a few seasons ago.

 Maggie Cats:  Yeah! She did a good job too with it. Go for the arteries.

 Clovis:  Definitely. Sister don't play, you know?

"Make 'em pay... make 'em all pay..."

 Maggie Cats:  What did you think about Bran meeting up with Sam? I appreciated that they established right away that Sam knew exactly who he was. Sam = smart.

 Clovis:  I was actually really relieved with that - I get that the story is about how all these people are being separated from each other, but it was nice to have a couple of the storylines converge, even if just for a little bit. Basically I felt like some of these characters have earned the right to meet back up with their compatriots or at least hear, like Bran did, that they're still alive.

 Maggie Cats:  Agreed. And I am glad that Sam hung on to the dragonglass. It wasn't clear. And then he just started pulling it out of every pocket and I was like, "ok, then."

 Clovis:  Yes! I thought he dropped it back when he took out the White Walker and I was like, "SAM! YOU LOVEABLE FOOL YOU!"

 Maggie Cats:  Point of order: in the books, Sam kills the White Walker (called "the others") in front of the Night's Watch guys. They dub him Sam the Slayer. I kind of miss people calling him Slayer; he deserves props.

 Clovis:  See, I wish they could have kept that detail. Not to hate on Gilly, but she's not exactly the most enthralling of travelling partners, you know?

 Maggie Cats:  Ah, bless. She is not the sharpest tool in the shed. And you just KNEW Sam would fall for the first woman to ever talk to him.

 Clovis:  Oh totally, bless his heart. I did seriously LOL at Sam being all, "hey, my vows are intact - it's not my kid" and then Gilly is like, "I named him Sam!" <facepalm>

 Maggie Cats:  STFU Gilly! You are Not. Helping.

"Sorry if my joy at being free from a life of constant rape and repression has me caring a little less about you saving face in front of your boss."

 Clovis:  I didn't realize that the Maester they were talking to was actually a Targaryen! I think I saw that on the added features when I was watching the episode. I liked how that connected, though.

 Maggie Cats:  I feel that they was mentioned way back in the first season when Jon was talking to him. But yes, he is actually the last man of the Dragon line. It was a conversation about how you have to give up all ties when you join the Watch. And he chose to not get involved in the war when Robert overthrew the Targareyns. When Jon was all, "they killed my Father, RAWR!"

 Clovis:  Ahhh, gotcha. Still, good world-building, you know?

 Maggie Cats: If there is one thing Song of Ice and Fire is good at....is world-building. And killing people. Often at the same time!

 Clovis:  Speaking of which (on both counts) can we talk Dany for a second?

 Maggie Cats:  Oh, you mean her 5 seconds of screen time?

 Clovis:  In fairness, it was an impressive five seconds. She can literally be like, "Nuthin. Was on screen for two minutes. Freed an entire cadre of slaves. U?"

 Maggie Cats:  I dunno, it seemed a little to "the great white hope" to me. It comes directly from the books, but the visual rubbed me the wrong way.

 Clovis:  THANK YOU! That's where I was going with this.

 Maggie Cats:  It all makes sense, the people live in the desert so of course they are browner and she is all pale and silver...but still. The picture of it was a little squicky.

 Clovis:  Exactly. And there's been some rumbling around the corners of the interwebs to that exact effect. Here's a good example. Short version, the author argues that Dany's entire "White Woman of Privilege Leads the Savages Out of Darkness" is really, really discomforting.

 Maggie Cats:  True. But on the other hand...and god, I hope this does not come off as racist....if you look at our world, and if you are dealing with a nomadic tribal people who live in the desert...I mean, how else are we supposed to make them look? I think the problem is that you establish Westeros as a land full of white people, when we move the action to another land...what are you supposed to do to differentiate?

 Clovis:  That's why this vein of discussion about Dany's story and the GoT world in general is interesting to me - one of the counterpoints to that article is that the Dothraki are not depicted as brutes and savages, but are shown to have culture, society, character. Contrast that to the great pains they take to show that the white European stand-ins are arguably way more barbaric in their actions in Westeros and it makes for a confounding argument. Likewise, as some of the commentators pointed out, the Wildlings are wholly described as barbaric and uncivilized...and universally white.

 Maggie Cats:  Tywin Lannister and Joffrey are basically the most horrible people in the story. And they are white as the day is long.

 Clovis:  I'm personally reserving judgment on the racial politics of the show (and books) until they're done. It's hard to argue one way or another about the author's or filmmakers' intentions until you know the whole story.

 Maggie Cats:  I think we're all just bringing our own bullshit to the story.

 Clovis:  Yeah, agreed.

 Maggie Cats:  The people arguing that the depiction of the Dothraki and other peoples is racist...probably don't stop to think about how horrible the white people are in the story. Is it racist to show the white people living in a medieval feudal society? I mean, I don't know--I'm not advocating anything in this discussion. Just that the image of the Dany as the great white hope struck me as a viewer and was a bit discomforting.

Inside the GOP's wet dreams.

 Clovis:  Completely agreed. It's hard to have a lot of medieval white people tropes. They didn't make a lot of youtube videos back then.

 Maggie Cats:  Oh, please, there are medieval white people tropes coming out the ass of this show. The evil Queen, the innocent princess, the knight who is a savage...But almost all fantasy is.

 Clovis:  Very true. I stand corrected. I was thinking in terms of "embarrassing white people tropes" of which there are many, just harder to nail down for the time.

 Maggie Cats:  How about white people dancing at a wedding? Or playing basketball? Next season on Game of Thrones....

 Clovis:  EXACTLY! Of course, white people did behave pretty badly at the last Westerosi wedding we saw...

 Maggie Cats:  HA! And there is another wedding coming up! Speaking of Joffrey, that kid is OUT OF CONTROL. I think Tywin is starting to get actually concerned. The day is coming when he is not going to go to his room when he is told.

 Clovis:  How much did you love the "the King is up past his bedtime" conversation?

 Maggie Cats:  Um, it was AMAZEBALLS.

 Clovis:  The dynamic between Joffrey and Tywin is so much fun to watch. Since Cersei is so obviously incompetent at raising her own child.

Image courtesy of awkwardfamilyphotos.westeros.com 

 Maggie Cats:  I did love the little moment between her and Tyrion though.

 Clovis:  Absolutely. Just when I start to hate Cersei, she goes and throws in a glimmer of something that makes her feel sympathetic, in this case honestly talking about how her memories of a young Joffrey are the only things that keep her alive and that even the cruel, adult version of her son can’t take that from her. Jesus, it was just heart-breaking.

 Maggie Cats:  That is one lonely bitch. The only person she has to talk to is someone she loathes. Not that she doesn't bring it on herself, but still. In the books you don't really get these kind of moments with her character until Book 4, so I like that we are getting more of it in the show.

 Clovis:  She needs a girlfriend to, like, get mani-pedis with or something. Too bad all the women of King's Landing are terrified of her.

 Maggie Cats:  Or she threatens to have horribly murdered. She might want to work on her friendship style.

 Clovis:  Yeah, she needs some life-coaching. Starting with "whatsay you not sleep with your brother so much?"

 Maggie Cats:  Arya should be her life coach! Wackiness ensues.

 Clovis:   Although we all know Arya would be leading Cersei into some kind of Rube Goldberg-ian trap to have her slaughtered terribly. Arya is probably not the best person to be the guardian of Cersei's physical or emotional wellbeing.

 Maggie Cats:  OK, fair enough. I can't wait to see how the Cersei/Jamie dynamic has changed now. Too bad we have to wait AN ENTIRE YEAR.

 Clovis:  I know. He's changed so much in the time he's gone, physically and emotionally. I have to admit, I've been doing some background reading on Jaime and I've developed more of a sympathetic eye for him. I feel like his entire life has been about him basically doing the hard thing that no one else would do and then just taking the shit that gets dolled out for it. I know it's not been in the show as much, but reading about his role in basically preserving the city of King's Landing when the Mad King wanted to burn the entire place to the ground rather than let Robert have it goes a long way to explaining why Jaime killed the king.

 Maggie Cats:  Another great example of hidden depths. The people in Westeros like to assign labels to people ("Kingslayer") but then it's not always accurate or fair. But then you have to remember...he pushed Bran out of a tower.

 Clovis:  Exactly. Just when I start to like him a bit...

 Maggie Cats:  I love the layers! Like a delicious parfait of incest and bravery! I've said too much.

 Clovis:  So, looking ahead to season four, can I make a few wild guesses about what I'd like to see without any confirmation from those who have read the books? I have to believe that we've got more character deaths coming and my sincere hope is that they'll pair the deaths of people we like with maybe at least one or two that we're ready to get rid of. That said, my money is on Shae and Littlefinger not making it out of season four alive.

 Maggie Cats:  Hmmmm. That's all you'll get from me.

 Clovis:  Varys pretty much established that if Shae sticks around, she's going to cause problems for Tyrion. That doesn't bode well, in my mind. Littlefinger seems to me to be overplaying his hand, and so far whenever we've seen that, it doesn't go well for the character in question.

 Maggie Cats:  Do you think Tyrion was involved in the offer to get Shae to leave town? She seemed to think he was. I would also just like to point out, that stuff we don't know about Varys until book 5 was in the show from the very beginning. And I think it was better for it.

 Clovis:  Varys is such a manipulator, but one that has let slip that he does actually like and respect Tyrion. I think he tried to get Shae out of town because he honestly wants Tyrion alive and capable and thinks those two are together it won’t happen.

 Maggie Cats:  Mostly his motivation to protect the realm and his contacts across the sea. I don't remember Varys trying to get Shae to leave being the book, so I agree. Tyrion was not involved.

"Just because I'm a whore doesn't mean you can buy my love. Oh hey wait..."

 Clovis:  Another point in my mind for Shae not being long for this world, there's sort of an unwritten rule for this story, which is if something can go wrong to make Tyrion's life worse, for God's sake let it happen. Shae dying would fit that bill well.

 Maggie Cats:  Awwww. Also, true. I wish you could see me, I am clapping my hands in anticipation for you to see what is going to happen. The term "fiendish glee" might be appropriate.

 Clovis:  So aside from that, I have to hope that season four will bring us more of Arya being awesome (no brainer, there), Bran continuing his vision quest and, please God, more Margaery Tyrell (and her grandmother) being charmingly manipulative. Shall we wrap this up with an eager eye to next season, then?

 Maggie Cats:  Yes; despite the underwhelming finale, I am very excited for where the story is going. So by that definition, it was successful. There is some great stuff coming! I look forward to watching the internet explode some more.

 Clovis:  Yeah, me too. Certainly a lot to discuss.

And with that, onward to season four, my good people! Coming…Spring of 2014. L <sad trombone>